That You May Always Remember Me

Chapter 8

"what happened after that"

Alistair found his way to the door of Elissa's room and knocked on it. She answered the pajamas Skyhold had been kind enough to lend her: a thin cotton shirt and tightly cropped pants. She smiled slightly at the sight of his face and moved to allow him to enter.

He stepped inside, holding forward the pile of books in his hands. "I got these from the library and thought you might find them interesting." He dropped the first book onto a nearby table. "This is a history of the Blight. It's one of my favorites; it doesn't try to make up any dramatized events, just addresses the facts." He added silently to himself the fact that this particular account never mentioned the assumed romantic relationship between the King and Hero of Fereldan. The second book dropped on top of the first. "This is the Chant of Light. I couldn't remember how religious you were… I figured it couldn't hurt." The last thing he dropped was two pieces of parchment that gently glided onto the pile. "These… Well, these are our wanted posters. I'm still not sure why the Inquisition owns a copy…"

This was the first description that made Elissa reach out and pick the item up. She unfolded the parchment and examined a depiction of her own face in aged ink. "I was… so young! We were criminals?"

"During the Blight the regent of Fereldan basically tried to make Grey Wardens illegal." He opened his own poster and examined the youthful face. "It was a long time ago."

Elissa's gaze passed between both posters. "Can I keep them?"

The tinge of excitement in her voice caught Alistair off guard, but he was more than willing to give her anything that would make her smile. "Sure!" She folded the posters gingerly and placed them in the safety of her pack. Alistair couldn't help but watch her all the while, and when she eventually turned and caught his stare his faced flushed red. "Try to leaf through these," he added awkwardly, patting the pile of books.

She wandered over to stand opposite him across the table and lifted the cover of one of the books. "Hero of Fereldan?" she practically whispered, purposefully avoiding eye contact.

"Not the name I would have chosen." The air fell still as Alistair realized the joke didn't land and a more serious conversation was to follow. He never liked those, but they seemed to be inevitable.

"So I killed an Archdemon and died?"

"Seemingly died," Alistair corrected. "Clearly you didn't actually die. Exactly what happened is still pretty up in the air but…" He gestured toward her and was surprised to see her smirk.

"I've heard about the Hero of Fereldan. A couple people in random towns even told me I looked like her, but I never thought…"

"What towns?" Alistair swiftly shut his mouth, aware that this wasn't a helpful question toward any of the issues that faced them now, but part of him still wanted to know. He had sent out how many search parties, issued how many Royal Proclamations, and received nothing in return, but she had been out there! He desperately needed to know what town in what nation was at fault for this so that he could rein terror upon them. Despite the fact that he wasn't exactly certain what that would entail. "I'm sorry," he swiftly apologized. "You don't have to answer that."

She shook her head. "It's just hard to take this all in. When I used to consider the parts of my life I forgot I just assumed it was more… normal. I guess I'm used to being nothing."

"You were never nothing," Alistair quickly cut in. "Even before you killed the Archdemon and certainly now." Elissa wrapped her arms around her front and stared awkwardly at the floorboards. Clearly she was uncomfortable with his declarations of her worth and he was silently glad he never went into further detail about their prior relationship and his deep, enduring feelings for her.

He was still thinking of a way to apologize and ease the awkward tension that had arisen when she spoke up again, "Don't Grey Wardens have special powers or something? Wouldn't I have noticed that?"

"It's not 'special powers' per se," Alistair shrugged, relived at a question he could actually answer. "We're a bit stronger than normal people, with a lot more stamina and a bigger appetite, but most of our skills involve Darkspawn, so unless you've come across any of them in your travels I doubt you'd notice anything." He squinted at her as she continued to avoid eye contact and recalled the familiar tingle he used to get in his skull whenever she was nearby. He didn't feel that tingle right now. "Our gifts are also stronger during a Blight," he explained to Elissa and reassured himself. A thousand more thoughts and explanations raced through his mind until he realized Elissa had opened one of the stacked books and was reading the first page where she stood. "I should be going." He moved to place a hand on the door knob. "Tomorrow we'll leave for Denerim. Whenever you're ready."

Elissa looked up and sent him a sideways smile and a nod. "Good night."

He left, shutting the wooden door definitively behind him. There would be a lot more to do in the upcoming days. He needed a good night's sleep.

OOOOOOOOOO

Upon entering his own room he was surprised to find the Inquisitor waiting patiently on the bed. "Alistair," she greeted calmly.

"What are you doing in my room?"

She stood and raised an eyebrow. "Technically all the rooms in Skyhold are mine… But I wanted to discuss something with you." Passing behind the king she closed the wooden door and leaned against it as Alistair watched her curiously. "Elissa," Viola spoke plainly, never one to mince words. "How did she survive?"

"What?" was all Alistair managed to evoke as he watched her cross his line of sight again to sit on the well-made bed.

"I may be Dalish but I know my history, and I know that every Grey Warden who killed an Archdemon died in the process. How did Elissa survive?"

Alistair gulped and felt his face uncontrollably change color. "Maybe they didn't all die. Maybe the others just lost their memory like she did."

"It's possible," Viola admitted, lowering her eyebrows. "But the odds that no one ever found them… I just don't believe it."

Alistair stepped backward at the pain of her accusation. After all, had it not been for a spirit he would have never found Elissa, but he forced himself to move forward, knowing he needed to deflect any allegation away from he and Elissa. He knew how she survived and had no intention of ever telling anyone. In fact, if there was one memory he could ensure Elissa would never regain, it would be the night he spent with Morrigan. "She killed the Archdemon; I saw it with my own two eyes! Who knows what happened after that! Whatever it was, it doesn't change the fact that she's alive and I'm taking her to Denerim."

Viola raised herself off the bed in resignation. "I'm not trying to question your authority. Believe it or not, I'm rooting for you two. But something here just doesn't make sense. So much of the Fifth Blight has been kept a mystery and…"

"It's over," Alistair spoke in a low, severe voice. "The Archdemon is long dead and we're all safe. Isn't that enough?"

The elf's violet eyes looked up at the king. "There's more to this than you and her. More at stake."

"But we're the ones who sacrificed everything!" He threw his hands in the air dramatically before they landed on his forehead and he sighed. "I only wanted one thing out of all of this, and now I have it. Can't that be enough?"

Viola watched him sadly as she left. "I hope you get everything you want, Alistair, but that's not going to stop me from asking the questions that need to be asked."