That You May Always Remember Me

Chapter 15

"a damn good story"

Varric,

Hope all is well in Kirkwall. They'd better be appreciating all the coin you're throwing at them. Statues of your likeness, parades in your honor, babies named after you… That sort of thing. Remember how you used to complain about all the crazy shit that happens to me? Well, it seems some new crazy shit has arisen and I could use the help of a friend or two. Hopefully you and Bianca haven't lost your edge. I'll be leaving for Denerim soon.

Viola

OOOOOOOOOO

Elissa spent the rest of the night at Fergus' home in Denerim. Though she had only spent a short time in Alistair's bed, he noticed how empty it felt without her. Late in the morning he managed to slip away from Landsmeet preparations he hadn't been expecting to have to deal with and walked the short distance to the Cousland estate. He found Fergus sitting alone in the entry hall, clutching a pile of green fabric. When he looked up at the King his expression was grim. "I was about to come see you," he said and held out the robe in his hands. "I believe this is yours."

"Right," Alistair blushed at the awkward situation. "Thanks… So, how's Elissa?"

"She's fine, considering the circumstances." Alistair nodded in realization of what was causing the Teryn's mood. It always seemed to take some time for people to get used to the fact that she wasn't quite the same as they remembered her. "It's strange," Fergus continued, "She was always so strong, and now she's… vulnerable." Alistair nodded again without thinking and Fergus' eyes narrowed. "So you agree?"

"Um… sure."

"It's interesting that a man who claims to care so much about my sister and knows the situation she's in would still take advantage of her the way you did."

"What?!" Alistair took a step back and Fergus rose angrily to his feet. "What do you mean 'take advantage'?"

"I was reunited last night with a sister I thought was dead while she was wore nothing but your ugly robe! And don't even bother coming up with some half-assed excuse for that. I know you're cheating on Anora; it's apparently all anyone in this town can talk about. I just can't believe it's with her! She didn't even recognize her own brother, but you wasted no time getting her into bed!"

Fergus was fuming with 10 years of pent-up protective older brother rage and Alistair knew he would have to tread lightly, but unfortunately no one told that to his mouth. "She's the one that showed up in my bedroom in the middle of the night."

That was definitely the wrong thing to say and he knew that even before Fergus' fist connected with his face. "Fergus!" Elissa's voice echoed in the room as Alistair stumbled backward from the blow.

"You're too good for him!" Fergus declared as she helped Alistair into a chair. "I'll never understand what happened during that Blight that put him on the throne!"

"I think you need to take a minute to calm down." Before he could object to his sister's suggestion she added a stern, "Fergus" and he left the room, mumbling angrily all the way. Cupping Alistair's chin, she examined his face. "That looks like it hurts."

"Not half as much as when you hit me." He looked to the ground as Fergus' words crept back into his mind. "You don't think…"

"No." Elissa answered resolutely. "Fergus is just angry; I don't think even he really knows why. I'm sure it has something to do with me…"

"You haven't done anything wrong."

Elissa took her hands off Alistair and twisted them nervously. "That's not entirely true. Fergus may have interpreted a lot of things incorrectly, but he did have one good point." A shadow crossed her face as her pink lips turned into a frown. "You're married. I know it didn't seem like I cared about that last night but after I heard you and Anora fighting…"

"Ugh… You heard that?"

"Everyone heard it." Her voice got quiet and sad. "I don't want to cause fights like that."

"You didn't! Well, maybe technically… Look, I'll try to deal with Anora better, but I can't exactly make her disappear (as much as I might want to)." He could feel something was about to drop.

"I know you're in a tough position. That's why I have to be the one to leave."

And there it was. His heart fell into his stomach and all he could think was that there had to be something he could say to fix this; something to make her take that sentence back and never utter it again. "I'll give up the throne."

"What?"

"Anora can be queen. It's all she ever wanted anyway. And if it means I get to be with you then…"

"No, you can't do that!"

"Why not?"

"Because you told me I made you king. I may not remember why, but I'm sure I had a damn good reason and I'm not about to start questioning my old self now."

"You were supposed to be there with me. We were going to get married!"

"But we didn't." Elissa's face was almost as rigid as the first time they met in the Orlesian woods, but her expression was somewhat sadder. "And we both need to start respecting the fact that you already have a wife." She stood and looked down at him and he felt like he couldn't possibly be more than 3 inches tall. "Fergus is leaving for Highever after the Landsmeet and I'll be going with him."

With that she walked away and it all came back to him: a flash of hair, metal, and blood running away from him and toward the inevitable. He was losing her again. He wanted to stop time, he wanted to do something right for once, but just like last time he couldn't move.

OOOOOOOOOO

Knocking woke him up hours later and he found himself sitting alone in a dark study, a glass of Dragon's Blood Whiskey in his hand, half of which had been spilt on the carpet during his sleep. He decided he never really liked that rug anyway and topped off his drink from the bottle on the table. The knocking came again and when Alistair failed to respond the door creaked open and someone entered.

"Go away, Teagan," he called without looking back at his guest.

"My steps may have gotten a tad heavier in recent years but I'm still not that bad." Leliana's sweet voice cut through the haze Alistair found himself in.

"Well, if it isn't the Divine! Come to grace me with your presence? Or am I a poor soul in need of saving?"

Leliana frowned as Alistair took a sip of what was clearly not his first drink of the night. "I came to yell at you, but that seems unnecessary now." She sat in the armchair opposite him and poured herself a glass of the brown liquid.

"So Zevran told you?"

Leliana laughed. "I told him! He may be a half decent spy, but I am a spy master." She sniffed her drink and found it quite potent. "So what sorrows are we drowning tonight?"

"She's leaving," he almost whispered. "She's going to Highever for good." A sudden burst of laughter erupted from him. "And I didn't even want to marry Anora! 'It's for the best', everyone said, but no one told me if my girlfriend was still alive that this meant I could never be with her again."

"Hmm," Leliana pondered in a much calmer demeanor than her old friend. "Elissa never was the mistress type."

"She won't let me leave the crown." He slumped low in his chair, nursing his drink close to his stomach. "How am I supposed to stay king and get Anora out of the picture?"

Leliana felt for the man. Being one of the handful of people who knew he and Elissa when they were together, she knew how happy they made each other. But she was also well aware of the dangers of a political marriage. At least in Val Royeaux, adultery was one thing, but upsetting the status quo because you loved someone else was unheard of. Typically the only way out of a situation like this was a discreet murder, but Leliana chose not to suggest this as it seemed in poor taste, and given Alistair's current condition it was very possible he might agree. There was another option but she chose to keep her mouth shut about that one too, for the problems it would surely cause.

"What if I got a divorce?" Alistair lit up as the idea struck and Leliana deflated. That was the last thing she wanted to hear.

"People don't just get divorced, Alistair."

"Why not?"

"It's difficult. There are a lot of things you need to consider. Like what would happen to Anora?"

"She'll be taken care of."

"Do you really think she'll be okay with not being Queen any longer?"

"I'll offer her something else. She's reasonable…" He took another long sip. "I think."

Leliana folded her arms. "You'd need the Chantry to approve."

Alistair's lips twisted into a wry smile. "If only I had an old friend who happened to be the leader of the entire religion…"

She sighed. "I can't do that. Whatever history we may have together I just… If I openly supported your divorce it could be suicide for both our careers."

Alistair lowered his brow and took a long gulp that finished the glass. "Forget about our history, then." He finally spoke. "What about Elissa? I doubt that lay sister in Lothering would ever have become Divine if Elissa hadn't agreed to take her with us."

"That's…"

"Or that time she helped you find Marjolaine? Or how you got to be there when we discovered the ashes of Andraste? Or that time she bought new shoes and the two of you…" He rubbed his face. "Oh, wait. That was a dream I had."

Leliana watched him stoically, trying to hide the fact that he was actually convincing her. "And if it destroys a country in the process?"

Alistair leaned over his knees and smirked. "Then it'll make a damn good story."

Leliana huffed and crossed the room. A few moments of scrounging through an old desk yielded her some writing materials. Mumbling to herself that Alistair was only able to convince her because he happened to know her at a time in her life when she was less guarded, she wrote quickly but neatly and blew on the ink to dry it faster before handing the parchment to the king. "This should do until I can get to Val Royeaux and send something more official."

Alistair caught sight of the words 'approval', 'divorce', and Leliana's signature, and jumped up to hug her. She hugged him back and, though she still feared what would come of this, she knew he'd been right about at least one thing: this would make a damn good story.

OOOOOOOOOO

Your Inquisitorialness,

No parades just yet, but I'm definitely going to have to bring that up. Unfortunately I have my hands full right now with smugglers, pirates, and red tape. (Remind me again why I care about this city?) So unless the sky's been ripped open Bianca and I are going to have to sit this one out. If you're desperate though, I have a friend who might be looking for some action.

Denerim, eh? Folks at Skyhold say you've been seen hanging around with Alistair Theirin. I'm sure you won't listen but be careful how involved you get over there. Politics is a killer.

Varric