That You May Always Remember Me

Chapter 18

"history is written by the victors"

Hours later, Elissa fell into what appeared to be a peaceful sleep and a hush fell over the castle. Alistair remained silently at her bedside, allowing the nobles still loyal to him to whisper bitterly over the next course of action. Even Oghren and Zevran were unusually quiet as they played a somber game of cards that failed to distract either party from their own thoughts. It was as though everyone could sense that something huge had happened but no one would acknowledge it. Viola thought it felt like a shift in the winds: indescribable but very noticeable. So when she excused herself to the gardens she wasn't surprised to find Solas waiting for her.

"What happened?" he asked, his voice more angry than concerned.

"I'm… not sure." Viola folded her arms into her chest and sat on a stone bench. "Apparently Alistair's wife held some sort of coup. Her guards attacked us. I had to take Elissa into the Fade to get her to safety…"

"The Fade?!" Solas exclaimed. "That's the last place she should have ever stepped foot!"

"Did you want me to let her die?" It bothered her when Solas didn't immediately respond.

He sighed and sat down next to her. "Why did you even come here? I warned you…"

"And I had to warn Alistair." She looked at the floor. "Not that I'm even sure what I'm warning him about…" Crinkling her nose and frowning she added hesitantly, "There was a light in the Fade. It healed her."

Solas exhaled tiredly. "And the worst case scenario has fallen upon us once again."

Viola steeled her eyes and looked up at her companion. "There's more you need to tell me, Fen'Harel." It was rare for her to let her Dalish accent through, but it felt so natural with the trickster god's name. Solas had revealed his true identity to her in the snow at Skyhold and she wanted to say that she had walked away from him right then. That hearing his lies and knowing the horrible stories surrounding the Dread Wolf filled her with rage and disgust, but the truth was he only became more fascinating to her. "I've seen Elissa in action and she can certainly hold her own, but she's still just a tiny little thing. What is it about her that has a powerful god like yourself shaking in his boots?"

"It's not her exactly," he answered, not taking his eyes off a nearby flower that had begun to bloom. "But you're right. You're far too intelligent for me to expect you to fear shadows."

Viola wasn't sure why but a compliment from Solas always seemed to mean more to her than ones from elsewhere, and she eagerly listened to his story.

OOOOOOOOOO

Elissa blinked open her eyes to meet the rays of light beaming through the window as the sun set over the city. The room was warm, smelled of fresh flowers, and next to her came the familiar sound of Alistair's snore. His chin rested against his chest as he slumped over in the chair from which he'd been watching over her for Maker only knew how long. She peeled off one of the blankets covering her own body and laid it across his lap, causing him to stir and groan.

"Stop fussing!" she commanded, straightening out the crocheted fabric.

"I'm not fussy," he mumbled in protest.

"Of course you are. Remember that time you got sick and refused to eat the soup I made for you?"

"That's because you don't know how to make soup!" His voice was clearer now as he emerged further from sleep. He stopped while rubbing his eyes and stared at her through his fingers. "Wait, you remember that?"

She nodded and readjusted her pillow "You were such a pain in the…" Her head shot up as the same realization dawned on her as well. "I remember!"

OOOOOOOOOO

"Do you remember what I told you of the Evanuris?"

"The Elven gods you locked away in the Fade?"

Solas frowned. "What a simple way to describe such a horrible time. But yes, you're correct." He sighed. "And with all of your Dalish miseducation, what do you know of the Forgotten Ones?"

Viola raised her brows as the line of questioning took a turn she hadn't been expecting. "They're the gods who were defeated and forgotten." She added ironically, "Proof that history is written by the victors, I suppose."

"You couldn't be more correct in that," Solas chuckled. "But before they were forgotten they were very much something. A threat to all of the Elvhenan. It is true the Evanuris defeated them and scratched their names from the legends but they never ceased to exist."

"So who were they before?"

"Humans."

Viola gasped. "But Elves never came into contact with humans until…"

"The fall of Arlathan?" Solas shook his head. "Another lie the people told themselves to blame their misfortunes on another. In reality the humans waged many long a terrible wars against the Elves before the Veil was created. The Evanuris eventually drove them back, earning their false godhood."

"But you said the Evanuris were dangerous. They sound like heroes to me."

"They told the people the humans had been utterly destroyed and would never return."

Viola smirked. "Well, that was obviously a mistake."

"They had been very soundly defeated but not decimated. Over time, they rebuilt and prepared for another attack, but when the Evanuris caught wind of this they disagreed on what to do. They had grown lazy, focusing more on building monuments to themselves rather than ensuring their defense. Mythal wanted to warn the people that they should ready themselves for war, but the others were afraid that once everyone realized the humans hadn't been destroyed they would stop considering them gods: perhaps even rise up in a revolution."

"The elf in the Temple of Mythal," Viola cut in quietly. "Said that Mythal was murdered."

Solas frowned. "Yes. In a desperate attempt to keep their secret they turned on the very best among them."

"But Mythal is still alive. I met her: she's Flemeth!"

"Corypheus died a few time as well, if you'll recall. Bodies are a simple thing to do away with, but souls are trickier, especially one as resilient as Mythal's. But nonetheless she was lost to us at the time and there was still the impending threat to deal with. They knew they couldn't take on the entire human army. So their best hope was to swiftly take out their leaders: the warlords who had banded together to turn the humans into the force they were. Their plan was to use their more powerful magic to turn them into mindless beasts, hoping they would attack their own kind. But it didn't' work. They managed to retain their consciousness and the humans followed them more devoutly than ever in their ferocious forms."

Viola simply stared, not knowing what to say as Solas continued. "Things quickly became… messy. So I did what I had to. What no one else would. I created the Veil and locked the Evanuris and the humans on opposite sides of it. The Evanuris would dream in the Fade and the humans would slumber underground. It took a great deal of energy, though, and I was forced to put myself into a long sleep to regain my strength."

"Beasts locked underground?" Viola chuckled, "Almost sounds like the Archdemons." Solas did not meet her gaze and her stomach dropped. "You're not saying the humans you locked away are now Archdemons? The Tevinter Old Gods?" Solas's silence answered for him. "I can't' believe this!" she exclaimed, running her fingers through her dark hair. "The Old Gods and the Forgotten Ones… are the same?" She stood and began to pace as thoughts raced through her mind before turning on her heels to face Solas again. "You're responsible for the Blights!"

"No!" Solas argued vehemently. "I have no idea how the Blights started or what created the Darkspawn. Whatever it was it all seemed to have happened while I was still asleep!"

"Still seems like a convenient way to get rid of some old enemies…" Viola rubbed her chin. "But they're not all gone, are they? Morrigan's son possessed the soul of an Old God before Flemeth…" she cleared her throat and corrected herself. "…Mythal took it."

"I fear Mythal has spent too much time alone in this world. She began to remember the past differently and went through a lot of trouble to ensure that Urthemiel would survive in her grandchild."

"Urthemiel?"

"The Dragon of Beauty… and the Archdemon of the Fifth Blight. He was a powerful mage and a skilled warrior. I'm not certain of exactly how he wound up inhabiting the body of Morrigan's son but when I met the boy at Skyhold I knew something was off. He was not fully possessed by the man I once knew. I believe whatever happened between Urthemiel and Elissa resulted in each taking a piece of the other with them. It's why I did not view Kieran as a threat. But that changed when I heard Mythal had taken the soul from him. I tried to stop her but… she'd already released it into the Fade."

"Where I took Elissa," Viola pieced the story together.

"Precisely. If Urthemiel's soul is now intact… Ma halani."

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

"Remember when we fought that Ogre that I swore was a dead ringer for one of the Chantry sisters in Redcliffe?"

"Yes," Elissa responded through a fit of giggles and Alistair squeezed her tighter, relishing in that answer. He'd managed to squeeze onto the twin size bed with her and spouted off a slew of questions about various memories that popped into his head. As the next one dawned on him he grinned devilishly. "Remember that time on the shores of Lake Calenhad?"

"Alistair!" she exclaimed, as her face turned bright pink.

"What? I was recalling a lovely picnic! Why is it your mind always goes straight to the steamy bits?"

"Yes, my mind is the problem," she mumbled as her face paled and she rested her chin on his chest.

He stroked her hair gently and his voice grew shaky as he finally asked the most important question. "Do you remember…?"

"I remember being on top of Fort Drakon." Elissa could feel Alistair's sharp intake of breath and closed her eyes as that fateful day returned to the forefront of her mind.

"You don't have to if it's too hard…"

"No, it's not that I can't remember it's just… I can't quite tell where one thought ends and another begins. There was the final blow and then… then I think I was floating. Or at least I wasn't standing on solid ground. But the Archdemon kept fighting me, like he was trying to consume me entirely."

Alistair nodded. "Archdemons try to possess the nearest blighted thing. It's why only Grey Wardens can kill them… but they usually die in the process."

"Something distracted it; something in the city. I think… it may have been Morrigan's baby."

"Ah," Alistair released breathlessly. "So it worked then?" An awkward chuckle trailed on the conversation he never wanted to have with anyone.

Elissa didn't laugh, though. "I'm not sure it worked quickly enough. I think something had already started to happen… When Urthemiel got ripped away I think he may have taken a part of me with him."

"Your memories?"

"I believe so."

"So how did you get them back?"

"When Viola took me into the Fade I sort of… reconnected with them." She finally raised her head to meet his amber eyes. "I'm sorry I don't understand any more of this."

He was quiet for a moment, thinking over these new facts. Elissa's heart stopped briefly before he looked down at her and a smile broke across his face. "I'm just happy to have you back."

He pulled her up and kissed her passionately. She laid her head in the crook of his neck while he wrapped his arms around her tightly. She frowned while she knew he couldn't see her face as thoughts and memories continued to race through her mind and worried that that day on Fort Drakon would not be so easily put behind them.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

"So let's say I believe all of this – Elissa is possessed by the Old God she killed. Sure. But what does that even mean? Did Elissa die 10 years ago? Is there any part of her still left?"

"Whatever happened during the Fifth Blight saved her life just as much as Urthemiel's. They're simply sharing a physical form right now."

Viola's lips formed into a frown as she considered Solas in a way she never had before. "Like you?"

"Yes."

"What's that like?"

Solas lifted his chest and closed his eyes calmly. "It starts as a whisper; just barely audible past the storm of unconscious thought. But it gets louder and stronger until..." He opened his eyes suddenly, a fleeting expression of sadness quickly covered by stoic serenity. "Your will is no longer your own. That is why this is so important. Whoever Elissa is or was will not matter soon. When Urthemiel takes control, with his full power, we will be dealing a monster that is hell bent on destroying everything I saved."

"Is there a way to separate them before that happens?"

A shadow crossed Solas' face. "There may be, but it would require preparation. In the meantime you must stay with Elissa and ensure she does not become a danger. She may not understand everything that's happened to her."

"And Alistair?"

"I'll leave it to you to decide whether to tell him any of this. I do not know the man or how he might react." Viola nodded hesitantly and Solas put a hand on her arm. "I'll be in touch." He placed a cold kiss on her cheek and before she could turn to watch him leave he was gone.