AN: I did some researches (surfing the internet about some information) and found out that there are some regulations and strict rules about funeral in German. So let's just pretend that there is a public cemetery in Berlin, German just for the sake of the plot, yeah?

~o0o~

Sai opened his eyes ever-so-slowly to see a white ceiling. It was almost too quite other than the steady beeping sound somewhere. Where was he? He lifted his hand and it was connected to a transparent hose. IV? He thought confusedly but he sighed after he saw a pack of transparent bag that was hanging on the metal post that was connected with the hose that was pierced on his hand. He was breathing with the help of the oxygen tube. Great. He was in the hospital room.

Carefully, he put down the thing -he didn't know what was it- that was helping him breathing from his nose. He tried inhaling and exhaling few times. When he found that he didn't have trouble breathing, he undid it out of his head. He scanned the room. He wasn't alone. He looked intently on a mop of blonde hair on his left bed. He looked at his right, the windows were closed but he could see the sun was already rising. The clock across the wall showed six in the morning. Did the dickless sleep here? He wasn't wearing any coat with him, only wearing yesterday outfit of white shirt.

It was then that the yesterday event flashed before his mind. It downed on him that yesterday he blacked-out in front of Naruto. He hadn't had the chance to eat dinner with the doctor, but at least they slept together, well, not literally but still. He smiled when the blonde man stirred in his sleep. Gently, he ruffled the blonde mop, enjoying through the process.

"Dickless…" Sai whispered.

Naruto hearing it, woke up immediately. "Hey, how are you feeling?" Naruto asked with concern. "Hey, why aren't you wearing your oxygen mask?" Now he was finally awake.

Sai could only smile gently. "Don't worry too much. I can breathe just fine, see?" To prove his point, Sai inhaled and exhaled audibly.

"Why wouldn't I be worry when you went unconscious in front of me with blood stained shirt, looking like you just killed someone?"

Sai deadpanned.

"Wait, did you actually kill someone?" Naruto whispered in horror.

Sai could only roll his eyes. "I was just using epoxy paint back in my studio and inhaling too much of the gas. Don't worry."

"I can't to not worry, okay?" He whispered.

"When will I be able to go home?" Sai ignored Naruto's concern.

Naruto sighed. He knew if Sai ignored something he said then that meant that it was not important. "Maybe tomorrow." He shrugged.

~o0o~

Sai blinked few times on the white ceiling. This time it was not the hospital. He was at his own room now. Yesterday, Naruto had helped him out getting back home. Naruto said that he needed to go back to the hospital to finish Sai's health reports. He ordered him to take full rest until the reports out before he left to the hospital. He even gave him mask to protect him from inhaling the gas of the painting.

Now he was anxious. He was sure that he wouldn't last long. This might be not just some allergies or anything. It must be serious. He remembered his brother was having the same condition as him. Was it genetic? He shook his head for he didn't know.

He closed his eyes. He loved Naruto. He loved him too much. What should he do? He must come out with a plan. In one hand he didn't want to make Naruto hurt. In the other hand, Kakashi was also a threat if he were to find out that he was dying. But he couldn't be sure of what Kakashi could do if he were to find out.

Sai sighed remembering yesterday's event. Naruto's swollen red eyes didn't go unnoticed by him back in the hospital before. Naruto cried a lot, even if it was in private, he just couldn't hide it from him. Sai was great handling things, especially his emotions, but Naruto couldn't. The guy was too fragile. If he could cry over a patient's death, he could imagine that he would cry too if it was someone who was dear to him. Hell, he even cried when a dog died in a movie.

He would prevent that. He could prevent that. But how?

~o0o~

Naruto spent his night in the hospital. He did so when he knew that Kakashi was in German. If he wasn't he wouldn't let Naruto to stay in the hospital until late.

After what had happened with Sai, he was more than eager to get Sai's reports out quickly. He didn't want to waste any more time he had left.

It was not until two in the morning when he discovered the disease. Naruto gasped.

Leukemia.

Blood cancer.

Stage four.

Naruto bored the paper in front of him absent-mindedly as his mind was having vacation. He had known Sai for about four years now. For all he knew, Sai had no one. He had no family member left. Sai ever said that he once had parents and one big brother. Parents died in an airplane crash and brother died of cancer.

Naruto gasped at the realization.

Did Sai ever go through radiological examination?

He palmed his face with his hands and they went to pull blonde strands. Of all people, why Sai? Why leukemia for someone who had no relative left? Blood cancer could be treat by having marrow transplant, but even biological brother had small chance having match marrow. What should he do? Perhaps Sai would agree to do chemo?

Without knowing when did he started crying, he began sobbing softly. He clenched his white clothes where his heart located, hoping that he could subside his aching heart. He got his mineral water and downed it in one go in hope that he could remove his sadness when someone knocked on his door.

"Yes?"

A nurse came inside after she opened the door. "Doc, Mrs. Shirakawa…"

That was where he could no longer hold his tears as they freely ran down his tan cheeks.

~o0o~

Sai, who was wearing a crisp black suit, found himself at the airport of Berlin.

Just before when he was still in Japan, Ino called and informed him that one of Naruto's patients had passed away.

Years ago when Naruto started becoming a doctor, he was missing for two days after his patient died. They searched anywhere but couldn't find him. Kakashi's men found him unconscious at his parents' cemetery. The second time his patient died, Naruto was missing again. They looked for him at the cemetery again and he was there. Since then, he had conclusion that if his patient died, someone had to inform him as soon as possible so he could chase and find him in time, so he could accompany him and calm him down. Now it was the fifth time, he had grown accustomed by it.

Sai fished his phone from his pocket and pressed the screen few times before putting the device on his ear. There was a pause before he spoke.

"Kakashi, where are you?"

"Just to let you know, I'm not in Japan. Why?"

"I will be dropping by. See you." He put back his phone down his pocket, hailed a taxi, and instructed the driver to his destination. Kakashi was a smart man so he must have known that Sai was in German.

When he arrived, he went straight to the door and pressed the bell several time. He waited not long enough before Kakashi opened the door.

"Hey Sai, what's up? Come inside." Kakashi said and led the way. "What happen? Sit down."

Sai nodded. "Is Naruto here?"

"Naruto?" Kakashi took a seat across Sai as well. "No. What happen?" he was aware that he had asked the same question within a minute.

"One of his patients just passed away."

Kakashi covered his mouth with his hand before Sai continued. "I should have known."

"I thought I just have to check to you if he is here or no."

"No, he hasn't called." Kakashi was worried now. "Go check him." He was aware where Naruto was by now. It wasn't the first time happened, anyway.

Sai only nodded before he stood up. "I will be going then."

Kakashi stood up as well. "Don't tell me you came here with nothing."

Sai smiled as he reached the door. "It's here." Sai said as he pointed at his luggage that was sitting in front of the door."

"Why aren't you putting it inside?"

Sai shrugged. "I thought I could just stay in the hotel."

"No… No… You can spend the night here." Kakashi shrugged. "Free." He smirked.

"I will but first, I will come see your son."

Kakashi nodded. "Call me when you find him and oh, Sai, wait."

Sai stopped and Kakashi went inside. It took Kakashi in no time before he appeared again. Sai caught something Kakashi threw. "The black one."

Sai nodded his thanks and Kakashi went back inside the house and closed the door. Sai went to the garage to find cars were parked. There were several black cars which made him rolling his eyes. He pressed the unlocked button on the key before a black car out of the several ones beeped twice. Hurriedly, Sai went inside the car and drove off to the graveyard. It was around three pm and the sky was grey. It was about time to rain.

He wouldn't want to let the Dickless soaking wet.

Before he went to his destination, he dropped by to the florist, buying a bunch of white lilies.

After buying his flowers, he entered the car and closed his eyes. Next time he could be the reason for Naruto's grieving, and who would look after him? If Kakashi knew this, even when he died, Kakashi would dig his grave and tortured his corpse for making Naruto suffered. Should he be cremated?

He opened his eyes after sighing for thinking such stupid things. He eventually started the car and began driving to the graveyard. He parked the car after he arrived and exited without forgetting to lock it. He looked up at the too familiar place. He never liked this place but this was also the place where Naruto cool his head from losing someone. From there he could learn how precious someone's life was.

He entered the place and went to a certain spot he had been visiting for some time now. When he spotted what he was looking for, he sighed in relief. There his doctor was, standing before his parents' graves with his left hand holding a bucket of white roses facing his back on him. Naruto was wearing a black suit. Naruto always wore a black suit, faultlessly dressed, every time he visited the graves. So he followed Naruto's way of dressing after Kakashi told him the first time they visited the place.

He walked calmly and made himself stand next to Naruto. He put the flowers on top of the graves and paid a pray. He stayed silent. He would wait until Naruto spoke first. He just didn't want to interrupt Naruto and his time. If Naruto was ready, he would speak eventually, so he would just sit there, letting Naruto know that he wasn't alone, that he had him to speak or to hug or whatever Naruto wanted to from him.

When Naruto noticed Sai's presence, he looked at Sai and immediately crushed him into a tight embrace, chanting words Sai couldn't quite catch.

Sai could only sigh and draw circle on Naruto's back, whispering sweet words to the Dickless that everything would be okay. Ironic indeed, Sai thought drily, that Naruto would be doing this again in the near future.

"I failed again, Sai…" Naruto finally spoke as he cried silently on Sai's shoulder, hiding his face there.

"No, you are not. You have done your best." Sai tried to reassure him, still stroking the other man's back in circle motion.

"No..." Naruto let go of Sai and stared him in the eyes. "You would never understand."

Sai knitted his eyebrows. "And why is that?"

"Because." Naruto wiped his eyes with the back of his hand eyeing the slightly taller guy in front of him.

"Blaming yourself won't even change anything." Sai stated a matter-of-fact.

There was a pregnant pause before Naruto finally spoke again, tilting his head to his back looking at the graves.

"Sai?" he asked, changing his tone.

"Yes?"

Naruto tilted his head back on Sai.

"Tell me about your family…" Naruto whispered as he made himself to a squat position, tapping the ground next to him, silently ordering Sai to do the same. Sai followed to sit next to his boyfriend and the two silently eyeing the graves.

"I thought I already told you about this?"

Naruto shrugged. "I forgot…" He lied.

Sai stared at Naruto who was staring at the graves. "I only have parents and a brother. I don't know if I have other relatives. Parents died in an airplane crash. Brother died because of cancer."

Naruto said calmly and looked at Sai. "What cancer…"

Sai averted his eyes from the Naruto to the graves again. "I had no idea…"

Naruto looked at his parents' graves again. "I assume that you have undergone a radiological examination before." Now that he thought about it…

Sai knitted his eyebrows. "How did you know?"

"I'm sorry but," Naruto paused. He wasn't sure if he should ask this question or not? He shook his head and decided to ask, hoping Sai wouldn't mind. "If you are willing… to tell me who passed away first?"

"It's… It was my parents first. They were intending to find a doctor in the States, but the airplane… You know what happened to them. As of my brother, he passed away the following week."

Naruto felt relief when Sai didn't mind the question earlier so he continued. "So… I am assuming that you have undergone a radiological examination before in hope that the marrow of your backbone is compatible with your brother." Naruto analyzed.

Sai was supporting a confuse look by now, thinking the accurations of Naruto's guesses.

Naruto continued. "It was incompatible, however… That was why your parents flew to the States."

Sai bowed his head down. Now that Naruto mentioned about his brother…

"Even identical twins could have incompatible marrow."

"I did some researches on the internet before."

Naruto looked up at Sai's bowed head.

"I am experiencing the same symptoms as my brother had. I guess you are right…"

"Sai…"

"I suffer leukemia, right?" Sai raised his bowed head to look at Naruto's blue eyes through his black bangs. "Have I told you that I love your eyes?" Sai whispered. "They are so beautiful… So blue…"

Naruto couldn't help the tears he had been holding anymore.

"Don't cry…" Sai complained and raised his thumb to wipe those annoying water from the tan cheeks. He sighed. "Kakashi…" he eyed Naruto's face before he continued. "He told me about your past…"

Naruto knitted his eyebrows.

"Okay, I lied. When you ordered me to take a full day rest, I went to meet Kakashi." Sai looked away so did Naruto.

"The guy back at the coffee shop..." Sai scoffed bitterly. "It's a lame question to ask who he is that the fact maybe, the entire citizen of Japan knew him, knowing that his face was all around Japan on billboards and stuffs. I mean, who doesn't know the infamous Uchiha brothers?" Sai shrugged.

"Well, I did…" Naruto whispered.

Sai almost laughed despite of the situation, he shook his head instead. "He was your boyfriend before you lost your memory." Sai knitted his eyebrows in confusion when he didn't receive any surprise reaction. "Don't tell me…"

"When we went back to the hospital and Ino told me that I had to perform a surgery, you left, right? After the surgery, I went to meet Gaara. He said everything to me. Well," Naruto shrugged before he continued. "maybe not everything."

Sai looked down. "You know how Kakashi is when it comes to you."

Naruto had to agree with that, he nodded.

"If he finds out about my condition, I am sure he would kill me before my time-"

"Don't say that!" Naruto raised his whispered voice.

"I'm sorry." he said sincerely. "I mean," he shrugged. "Kakashi never tell about you to the Uchiha when he guessed that they could harm you. You almost died that night. So maybe, if he knew about this, he could remove me if you were to cry over when I-"

"Just stop. We will keep our mouth shut about your condition." there was no use to let the sweet lie, that Sai would survive, to kiss him anymore. The truth is a bitch, and he will face it like a man.

Sai nodded. "So, what you want to do now?"

Naruto shrugged. "I don't know…" unconsciously tears fell down from his blue eyes. Naruto closed his eyes to remove the blurry vision away. He grabbed his clothed chest when it somehow stung. Why was his chest hurt so much?

Sai noticed from the corner of his eyes that Naruto was holding back the tears, did nothing.

He laughed bitterly instead.

Without looking, Naruto said sternly. "What's so funny?"

"We are talking about this like we were discussing today's weather."

"I don't know… Do you want me to cry you a river?"

"This is what I hate about you, Naruto."

Naruto raised his eyebrow, now eyeing his pale boyfriend.

Sai sighed as he shook his head, he stood up. "You always hold your feelings to yourself."

It took him those words to make Naruto stood up and let out all of his sadness as he cried freely on Sai's shoulders, linking his arms around Sai's neck. Unconsciously, Sai cried as well.

Sai held the man in his arms and kissed the blonde hair lovingly as tears continued running down his pale cheeks. He rested his cheek on blonde locked and looked up at the sky, and mouthed silently, "Why are you so cruel?"

The only thing they could do right now was nothing but hope for the best.

TBC

Pubished: Monday, November 20th 2017 18.00 PM (JST)