Chapter 06 It takes two to do the Masochism Tango

Quanktumspirit: "The what?... I'll just do a dance chapter. Please review. And after listening to it, I'm a bit scared. Type into YouTube, if you want to listen to it: 'It takes two to do the Masochism Tango by Tom Lehrer'. I personally don't like the song. :("

The next morning, things weren't better. Heinz was still heartbroken and didn't want to budge from his room.

But Patrick had an idea how Heinz and Perry could sort themselves out. He has been researching his favorite singer, 'Tom Lehrer' and rung his friend back up again.

"Hi, Benji. - No, nothing went well. - I think Perry the Platypus and Heinz Doofenshmirtz will never sort themselves out. - How can I help them, you ask? - Well, love, do you remember the song: It takes two to do the Masochism Tango by Tom Lehrer?. - Yes, you do? - Well, I'm planning on performing that song and using one of Heinz's entries I will force him and Perry to dance, during that dance the two can talk themselves out. With all truths and no untruths. - Ok, wish me luck. - Love you too. - How many more days? - A few love, don't worry. - Ok, bye," Patrick said, smiling.

After he informed his lover, Patrick smirked, he walked to Heinz's living room and set the karaoke machine up. He set the CD and looked over at the door, he noticed Heinz walked in, still slouched, and he had tears staining his eyes.

"H... Heinz?" Patrick addressed the man, "Could you come in here please?"

"Why have you moved my furniture?" Heinz asked, confused as he saw the dance floor underneath it.

"Because you and Perry have to sort yourselves out. I can't stand by and watch you and your 'friend' run into your unhappiness." Patrick explained.

Heinz hung his head. "Even if we talk ourselves out, come to a crossroad and somehow Perry would forgive me. Due to our jobs, being together would be impossible."

"Oh, but at least tell him how you feel," Patrick said. "Please. If Perry doesn't feel the same; at least you would have closure."

Heinz nodded, a short while later, Perry arrived, he packed his kite in and walked into the living room.

Patrick found a machine that would set up the disco ball, and he nodded to Heinz, Heinz's face turned deep red as Norm placed the music on.

Perry presses a button on his collar, and that allowed him to speak in the human language. So he and Heinz could sort this problem out. The music playing was calming both Perry and Heinz's overrunning, wild thoughts.

"So why am I here again?" Perry asked and glared at Patrick.

Patrick raised his hands, "Perry, please don't shoot me, yet, before you've heard us out."

"You are Heinz's boyfriend. So why should I hear anything out with you?" Perry snapped.

Heinz raised his hands, "Perry, we are not together. I am only offering him a home for his stay in Danville."

"Perry, listen to Heinz, he is telling you the truth. I am already married and happy with my husband, Benji. Here is a photo of our wedding day." Patrick quickly explained and showed Perry the photo.

Perry blinked and looked at it, true two men, 'that was clearly not Heinz and this bloke' were on it, in two suits holding hands. Perry shook his head a bit as his eyes played 'switch bodies' with the photo and imagined it being him and Heinz on their wedding day. If it would ever happen.

"Perry," Patrick said, and brought the Platypus back from his fantasy trip. "I promise you I will not try and take your boyfriend away-"

"Now wait just a minute." Heinz snapped, "We are not in that way together at all."

"But I can see that you care deeply about him. Or am I mistaken?" Patrick asked.

Perry shook his head, he activated a clip he placed under his beak and that allowed him to speak.

"I know that myself. Why would you assume we are in any way, shape, or form together?" Perry asked and faced Patrick.

Patrick just shook his head, "So you both are denying in every way that you like each other."

Perry and Heinz nodded. This wasn't how Patrick wanted it to turn out. He thought back to his husband Benji, what made them both come out to each other that they were gay and love every minute of being with each other?

Patrick remembered that one day his lover was being flirted on and kissed by a different man, which shattered his mind and heart, and he attacked him. The 'kisser' lets Benji go and they both have beaten him with such fury that the man has learned his lesson, and they confessed to each other that they like one another, more than just friends, but real lovers.

'That's the way. And sorry Benji, but I have to make them both see and realize it,' Patrick thought.

Perry blinked, "Patrick, what's up?"

"Sorry, Perry, I just had an idea," Patrick said.

Without saying another word, Patrick jumped onto Heinz, Heinz screamed as he fell backwards out of the chair and the two men were wrestling each other.

Perry quickly jumped up and tried to get Patrick away from Heinz, Patrick grinned, grabbed the platypus and... Kissed him right there and then.

"What the-" Heinz said, shocked.

A second later, Patrick let Perry go, spun him around and thrust the Platypus's mouth at Heinz's.

'Holy cow, I'm kissing Heinz!' Perry thought, shocked.

Heinz almost let out a scream as he was thrust with; a platypus on his lips, and a gay man at his hips.

(QS: Am I going too fast, hahaha. Heinz, Perry and Patrick, 'Yes.')

Patrick quickly shook and jumped from Heinz, leaving the mad scientist and the platypus to get up by themselves.

As the two broke it off, Perry was shaking wildly, his eyes turned blood-red and tears built up.

Heinz himself was shaking as well, he had no idea what Patrick has just unleashed between the two, but it was not good.

"Perry tell-" Patrick was about to snap.

But Perry shook his head, he shot out the door and Heinz shot back into his room. Patrick ripped his hair out and left to bed himself.

He watched as Perry's flight kit disappeared from view and back to Perry's actual home.

'Plan A failed, plan B?' Patrick thought as he left for his room.

This was going to be harder than he thought.

Quanktumspirit: "Please review."