I hate ladies' night. The club is fine I guess, I mean there's nothing really special about it, even its name 'Summit' is pretty generic. The music's decent and my drink is okay, but I really hate ladies' night.
We've been here for over an hour and we are not any closer to figuring out my new found questioning sexuality. I have however gotten to watch Andre flirt with girls all night and strike out most of the time, which helps.
I sigh and order another Vodka cranberry and pray that Andre will be ready to go soon.
"Chica, we are here to get you a lady and the only one you have talked to this whole night is the bartender." Andre says sitting next to me at the bar.
"I just don't see my type I guess." I say shrugging before taking a small sip of my drink.
"Tori you don't even know you're type! You're not even trying to talk to anyone. What's going on?" Andre asks letting his arm hang off my shoulder.
The problem is every time I look at a girl I think I could talk to, Jade pops up into my head.
"I want Jade Andre, I don't really care about if that makes me bi or gay or whatever. I don't need to figure that out, I need to get over the crush I have on her." I sigh taking a bigger gulp of my drink.
"Then why the hell are you sitting at the bar moping? I know you want Jade, but you can't have her, and I know it sucks but you're literally surrounded by hundreds of hot people and I think focusing on them might help more than drinking and thinking about how you can't have her."
"So what, the I should follow the dumb rule that getting under someone is the best way to get over someone else?" I ask dismissing the idea.
"Yeah pretty much. It's time to move onto someone you can actually have Tori. Just do it my way tonight okay? And if you hate it and it doesn't help then tomorrow night I'll come over and we can watch the notebook or something." Andre says trying to get me to laugh.
I don't laugh but I do smile. Maybe he's right, what do I have to lose by going and flirting with a few people?
"Okay fine I'll try, but you help me pick someone out." I say turning around to face the crowd of bodies packed together.
"Alright guy or girl?" Andre asks staring people down immediately.
Do I want a guy or a girl? I really hadn't thought about it. I know I want Jade, but besides her I've never really looked at other women like that.
"Guy. Start of small I guess." I say scanning the room as well.
Andre nods and spends the next few minutes trying to pick a guy out of the sea of bodies surrounding us.
Finally Andre spots someone.
"What about him?" Andre nods over to a guy standing near a wall.
He's tall, maybe 6'1 or 6'2, dark hair and from what I can tell in the dimly lit club, fairly attractive.
"Okay wish me luck." I say as I head over.
I don't know why I'm so nervous, I've flirted with guys before. Hell, in college it was practically a sport for me. I attempt to push away any lingering thoughts of Jade as I finally make it over to him.
It was going pretty well. He was handsome, funny and very flirty. I was getting ready to ask him to dance until I saw the wedding ring on his finger. I don't even bother finishing the conversation, I just roll my eyes and walk back over to Andre.
"What happened it seemed like you liked him" Andre asks when I sit back at the bar with him.
"Yeah, his wife probably likes him too." I say rolling my eyes.
"Screw that guy, there's plenty more guys here who aren't assholes."
"Andre can I just go home please? I know you want to help but this is kinda making it worse." I sigh.
"Come on Tori stay! Just talk to one more person and if you don't like them then I promise we can go okay?" Andre practically begs.
I'm about to say no when he breaks out the puppy dog eyes.
"Dammit not the puppy dog eyes, that's no fair!" I say groaning
"Just one more person Tor, please? For me?" Andre asks using his stupid sad voice.
"Ugh, fine. ONE more person and that's it." I say turning my chair to once again look out at the rest of the club.
"Okay, you pick this time." Andre says turning around to order another beer.
I scan the crowd for a few minutes. There's a couple of guys that I could talk to, but none of them catch my attention for longer than a second. I'm about to give up and tell Andre to just pick for me when I spot her.
"Andre." I practically whisper
"Did you find someone?" Andre asks over his shoulder, handing his card to the bartender
"Jade's here." I say so low I barely even here myself.
"What Tor? It's loud I can barely hear you." Andre says finally turning around with his beer.
"Jade's here." I say loud enough for him to hear.
He practically chokes on his beer.
"Where?" He asks looking around quickly.
"Over there, the booths up by the dj." I say not able to take my eyes off her.
She looks beautiful, as always. She's wearing tight ripped jeans with a t shirt that's cut down the middle exposing more of her cleavage than I've ever seen. It's almost cruel really.
"Shit, Tori I'm sorry. Let's go." Andre says standing up.
"No, I want to stay." I say still looking at her.
"Tori." Andre says sounding like a disapproving father.
"Andre I want to stay, please." I say finally looking at him.
I don't know if it's because this whole situation is so ridiculous or because he could tell how desperate I was to stay, but he just nodded his head and sat back down.
I watch her, She's with Beck and a few other people I don't know. I watch her go pick up to a blonde girl for Beck and I can't help but smile, because of course Jade helps Beck pick up girls. I keep promising myself I'll only stay for one more minute then I'll leave, but that was twenty minutes ago and I'm still stuck in the same place.
Soon I wish I would have listened to myself and left earlier, I feel myself tense up as a girl walks over and drags Jade away to a corner of the club that is less crowded, and closer to me. I'm so close I could call Jade's name and I know she would hear, but I don't, I just watch.
I watch as the girl holds Jades hand and giggles every few seconds. I watch as she steps closer to Jade, and Jade's hands slip from the girls' waist to her ass. I watch as the girl bites her lip, and Jade licks hers.
I knew it was coming, I knew I should stop watching and leave before it got worse. But I didn't, I stayed and finally, I watched as Jade leaned in and kissed her.
I feel sick.
Why did I stay and watch? I knew it was coming, I had so many opportunities to leave and I stayed. I guess I like torturing myself.
Finally, when I see Jade's tongue enter the girls mouth I look away.
"Tequila." I practically scream at the bartender.
"Tori." Andre says trying to comfort me.
"Don't." I say before grabbing the shot placed in front of me and downing it.
"Another." I shout.
After two more I decide I've had enough and look back at the wall, hoping Jade had disappeared.
Nothing had changed, they were still there and Jade was still kissing some girl. Some girl who wasn't me. I knew what was going to happen next, because Jade's told me many times, I just never thought I would have to witness it.
Jade was going to sleep with her.
It shouldn't hurt so much, because this is what Jade does and I know that, but it does.
Finally, I'm forced to deal with something I had been ignoring. I had been hoping this was just a crush, but it's not. I have feelings for Jade, I wanted to just be infatuated but I'm not. I'm falling for her. As I watch her kissing another person I'm jealous. Jealous because I wish I was the one she had pushed against a wall. I wish I was the one she kissed like she's never wanted someone more than she does at that moment. I wish I was the person she was sleeping with tonight.
I'm jealous, but I know I have no right to be. I'm jealous because I know that will never be me, and that is the most heartbreaking part of this whole thing. I'm falling for her but I know she'll never catch me, and I have no right to even wish she would.
Finally, after torturing myself enough I stand up and nearly fall over.
Andre catches me and grabs me by the waist to keep me from tipping over again.
"Take me home please." I say as the tears start to come again.