Shit.
Tori pulls away from me so quickly she almost throws herself off the bed.
"Hide!" she whispers to me before she slams the bedroom door shut and heads into the living room.
"Fuck." I say to myself as I try to figure out a place to hide.
I drop down and try to fit myself under her bed but it's too low to the ground.
"Hey, what are you doing out of bed? Come on lay back down before you get lightheaded again" I hear from the other room.
I open her closet and roll my eyes at the amount of clothes she had. She could get rid of half her damn wardrobe and there still wouldn't be enough room for me to hide.
"Seriously Tor you need to lay down come on."
Fuck.
I sprint to the window and try and open it but the woods warped it shut.
"Why are you acting weird?"
Fuck.
I look around, but there's nowhere else for me to hide.
"Is someone in there?"
Fuck.
"Is SHE in there?"
FUCK.
The next thing I hear is Tori yelling Andre and then the door is slammed open.
"Jesus Christ Tori." Mr. Harris says like he can't believe I'm in Tori's room, I can barely believe it either.
I look behind him and see Tori on the verge of tears, and that snaps me back to reality.
"It's not what it looks like I swear, she was just helping me with homework."
Even as I'm saying it I can hear how terrible of a lie it is, but I haven't got many options here.
"She's helping you with your homework in her bedroom when she wasn't even in school today?" He asks and I can hear him trying to keep the anger out of his voice.
I literally gulp and step back, and before I can reply he looks down to see me shoeless feet.
"You were in bed with her" He says like he's been in denial about what we might be doing in her bedroom.
"No we-" I start but am cut off before I can try and lie again.
"Stop talking I'm done listening to you."
Any other time I would have told him to go fuck himself, but I'm honestly grateful to not have to try and come up with anymore lies.
"How could you do this Tori? We talked about this! You told me you were going to stay away from her, I leave you to go to work for a couple hours and I come home and you're in bed with her!" He's shouting so loud I have no doubt everyone in the block could hear this conversation.
"Especially after what you saw her do last night, how could you want to be with her?" he asks and I'm pulled out of my thoughts.
"Wait what? What do you mean after what she saw me do last night?" I ask stepping forward.
"Did I not just say I'm done listening to you?" He asks, his voice getting even louder.
"I don't give a fuck, what the hell do you mean after what I did last night?" I ask Tori pushing past Mr. Harris.
"We were there last night." Tori says quietly
"You were where last night?" I ask slowly, praying that she doesn't mean what I think she means.
"We were at Summit last night." Tori says covering her face with her hands.
I don't even have time to process that before Mr. Harris speaks up again.
"You need to leave, now." He says walking towards Tori and I
"No, I'm not leaving her." I say brushing him off.
"Tori, look at me please, let me explain."
"Stop! You're her student, you don't need to explain to her why you went home with another girl. Do you not see how inappropriate this is? You're a sixteen-year-old kid and she's a twenty two year old woman. Or do you just not care about how much trouble you being here could cause? If you cared about her you would leave now, you're making this much worse than it already is." Mr. Harris says, his voice finally getting less loud.
I look over at Tori, she still has her face covered but I can still tell that she's crying.
"I'm sorry Tori." I say not sure what's going on in her head.
"Just leave please." Mr. Harris says as he walks closer to Tori
I don't know what else to say, so I just nod and leave the bedroom.
Before I can open the front door, I hear Tori sobbing and I have to force myself to not turn around and go back.
I'm half way to my car before I realize I left my shoes in her room.
When I'm finally in my car I close my eyes, and try and make sense of what just happened.
Tori's pov
"Tori, please stop crying Tor." I hear Andre say as he rubs my back.
How did I let this happen? I let Jade in my bedroom, I almost kissed her! And the worst part is I know I would have if Andre hadn't have come in when he did. What the hell is wrong with me? Andre must have been wondering the same thing cause that's exactly the question that he asked.
"What the hell are you doing Tori? Do you not understand what you're doing? This isn't some forbidden romance Tori, you could go to jail! What the hell were you thinking?"
Andre asks half yelling half whispering as if Jade could somehow still hear him.
I swallow the lump in my throat and look at him.
"I don't know what I'm doing Andre. I know I shouldn't be doing this, I know that okay. I know as soon as she showed up here I shouldn't have let her in. I know that I'm doing everything wrong here okay? I don't know why I get this way around her, I don't know why I'm doing things I would judge anyone else for doing. The only thing I know is that I almost kissed her, and the whole time I could think of a million reasons to stop it but none of them were strong enough to actually make me stop. I don't know what the fuck is wrong with me Andre."
I say trying to keep myself from breaking down again.
"I don't know what to do Tori! I don't know how I'm supposed to help you through this. I don't know if I'm supposed to give you tough love or hold you right now. I don't understand why you're willing to throw everything away for a kid you just met." He says, his is gone and all that's left is exhaustion.
"I like her, I like her more than I've ever liked anyone. And I know that we just met, and I know that I don't even know that many small things like her favorite color or her favorite book, but I know things about her that he's never told anyone. I know that she feels like she has to play a character that everyone else expects her to be. I know that she's really good at acting like she doesn't care about anyone or anything but she does. She loves her friends more than anything, I know when she cares about something she cares about it with her whole being. I know that she gets unbelievably cranky when she doesn't get her morning coffee, and I know that every single time I'm with her I'm happy. Even when she pisses me off, just being around her makes me the type of happy I didn't think existed. I don't know what the hell I'm doing, all I know is I'm falling for her, I've never felt this way about someone before and I don't know how to stop these feelings I have for her."
I rush out, feeling like the world was on my chest and it has finally been lifted.
Andre just stares at me clearly trying to figure out what to say, finally he figures it out.
"I believe you Tor, I think you have real feelings for her, I've known you for so long and I've never seen you feel this way about anyone. But she's a junior in high school. Let's pretend that the six-year age gap isn't a problem legally. She a kid Tori, and I'm sure everything you're saying is true, but do you think she could match the way you feel? Do you remember what you were like when you were sixteen? Do you think you could feel the same way you do now back then? You're falling in love with someone I don't think can love you back the way you deserve to be loved."
Andre says gently clearly trying not to make me cry any more than I already have. Before I can even think of a response he continues.
"And not to mention this is so illegal Tori, I get you're falling for her and that's hard to control but what do you think is going to happen? Let's say she feels the same way about you, which it doesn't seem like she does judging by what she did last night. What could ever happen between you two? If you do anything with her you're going to get caught, people always get caught in these situations. Would you both wait until she graduates to do anything? There's no scenario where this works out Tori. I know it's hard to hear but you need to hear it, this can't work."
He holds me closer as he says the last part, like he's trying to hold me together.
"What do I do?" I ask, my voice hoarse from crying so much.
"You need to end this, completely. You can't be her friend, you can't be anything other than her teacher."
"I've already tried that." I say getting frustrated.
"No, you haven't Tori, every single time you've tried to keep your relationship professional you give up after talking to her for like ten minutes. Even today, you told me you we're going to be done and then I come back to find out you almost kissed her! You can't say you've actually tried to just be her teacher because you haven't. I know it's hard but you're letting her think this behavior is okay and it's not. You need to tell her that all you two will ever be is friends, and then you need to actually follow through with it Tori." His voice getting rough and frustrated.
"I hate this." I say wiping away tears before they fall.
"I know, but it's the only choice you have. You need to let her go and move on."
I nod, not trusting my voice right now.
"It's going to be okay Tor, I promise. As soon as you cut this off, you can start to move on. I know you don't want to, but you need to."
How did I let it get this far? How did I let myself fall for someone I know I could never have? It's not fair to me and I know it's not fair to her. I know Andre's right, the only option I have is cutting her off. But I must be the most selfish person in the world because even after all that has happened, all I want is Jade.
I feel more tears coming and this time I do nothing to stop them. I deserve this, I broke my own damn heart.