Naruto watched absent-mindedly as the fire burning the specific metal coffin where his lifeless artist was sleeping at. The man had asked him to cremate him and then the ashes must be scattered in the running river. How did he come to this? Time seemed to fly so fast in an instant. He still remembered when Sai appeared at his room in the hospital asking him to have lunch together, and it seemed like it was only yesterday. And yet, here he was, watching the same person who had saved his life was being burned to ashes. The man had saved his life and yet when he had the chance to save the other person's life, he couldn't.

His heart hurt. It was painfully aching watching all of this. This was too much... He sucked a good amount of breath to repel the pain he was having in his heart. This was heart-wrenching... He didn't know anymore how to name what he felt by now. He was feeling a mix of emotions he couldn't fathom...

Naruto knitted his eyebrows. There was a picture popping up in his mind so suddenly, and it was fire. What he saw was his car. And then vaguely Sai's face appeared.

A pain shot his head and he had to hold his head to compose himself by gritting his teeth with eyes closed.

What the hell was that?

He then remembered the night where he crashed his car into the tree of which was his attempt to avoid the car on the opposite of him.

Sai's car.

He fell on his knees. The memories of what happened that night before his crash flooded his brain.

Everything went black.

~o0o~

"Sasuke, have you seen Kiba's dog?" An eighteen years old Naruto asked randomly on a particular evening. The two were standing in front of the running river in Yoyogi park, watching the Sakura petals falling from the trees.

Sasuke smirked at the randomness which was Naruto. "Of all things, why Kiba's dog?"

Naruto shrugged with a smile. "I think it's cute."

"Why don't you adopt one?"

"Uh… Are you okay with that?" Naruto asked because he was sure that Sasuke was not the type of person who liked getting a pet. "I would seriously get one if I were not living with you." Naruto giggled after he said that, which brought a smile on the other person's face.

"As long as you clean after them, I'm cool." Sasuke shrugged nonchalantly.

Naruto shook his head at Sasuke's response with a smile, already expecting that. "I actually have seen that coming."

"Hn."

"I was just thinking that it's cute. I don't plan on having one."

~o0o~

Naruto wiped his tears away as they began to fall down. Here he was, throwing off the remaining of Sai's ashes down the running river, the same river he stood there about years ago when he was with Sasuke. "Of all time, I've finally remembered some of the memories I have of you…"

The scene was from the week after they entered university.

"I'm mourning over someone else, and yet…" Naruto fell down and cried silently. He closed his eyes, trying to settle the growing pain in his head which was pounding steadily. This feeling he felt when he met Sasuke for the first time back at the coffee shop.

He threw the pot he had put Sai's ashes away and tried to pull the blonde locks. Scene after scene came playing in his mind like in the movie. Just this morning back at the cremation area in the hospital, he blacked out from some sort of what he thought as dark memories. Some staffs there saw him and was about to help him when Tsunade entered. He was taken care by Tsunade instead and not long after that, he was up. Tsunade had asked him what had happened. He said that he was just tired and told her not to worry. The staffs from the cremation area came and informed him that the cremating was done and he asked Tsunade that he needed to get going. The head office had asked him to do it tomorrow, but he refused. The blonde woman hesitated but she couldn't help when Naruto had talked her out to not worry.

He concluded that today was a very unlucky day for him.

For a second he thought that he wanted to die…

Or alcohol.

"Naruto, hold down your liquor…" Gaara told the other doctor who was now resting his head on the bar table.

After scattering the ashes this morning, Gaara had called Naruto and asked where he could be at the moment. Sasuke had called Gaara that morning and told him to look after the blonde because Sai just passed away. Gaara had asked back where Sasuke was, and the man had told him that he was still in the States and would be back in Japan as soon as he could.

Gaara was having trouble calling Naruto as the man didn't pick up his phone, but later he got a text message from an unregistered number, saying where Naruto's position at. Apparently, it was from one of Sasuke's men.

Gaara found Naruto at the Yoyogi Park, on his butt, burying his head in the palm of his hands. Gaara had approached the broken-hearted man calmly and coaxed the man to eat. Eventually, they ended up at a bar.

"Let him be…" Neji told the redhead man. Neji had tagged along when Gaara told him the story. They were friends, after all… If he were in Naruto's position, he would maybe do something worse than holding his liquor, presumably something to do with falling down the bridge and die?

"I remembered things…"

"Huh?" Neji and Gaara said in unison when Naruto finally decided to blubber about something. What did he mean?

"Some things… From the past…"

"Neurologist… Do you have a comment or two about this?" Gaara asked Neji, who happened to be a neurologist.

Neji shrugged. "It's bound to happen. A blood clot on his nerves might have gone by now. The Uchiha better prepared."

Gaara nodded. He watched Naruto was already fell unconscious from the liquor, he sighed and grabbed his cell phone and began typing something.

"Sasuke, you better prepare." Was all he had typed before he hit the send button on the screen.

"Let's bring him back home," Gaara announced after sending Sasuke a text.

Neji stared at the unconscious blonde and sighed before he nodded in agreement.

~o0o~

Naruto stared at the ceiling of his room. All he remembered yesterday was that he was at the bar in Tokyo with Gaara and Neji. He forgot what happened next. After that, he woke up from his weird dream. After the memories flooding his brain yesterday, he had finally found out that the voice who was calling him in his weird dream actually belonged to Sasuke. He finally managed to reach the gates and opened it. Sasuke was there, smiling.

With a woman.

Who was she?

He closed his eyes. The second dream was the nightmare. He was in a car crash, and it was actually not a dream as it was a real event that had happened on that unfortunate night.

He felt like doing nothing so he decided to spend the day in his bed instead.

Ding!

Or not.

His bell decided to say otherwise. Someone was waiting at the door.

He stood up and was about to wait for another ring but it never rang. It must be the mail-man. Great. He had time to do his morning ritual. He was getting used to waking up in the morning, it was becoming hard to stay in bed.

What could it be? Did Kakashi hasn't paid the bills? It was Kakashi's task to pay things for them both, according to his parents' will, and he had never got a mail about bills, so it couldn't be that.

His curiousness got the best out of him, he decided to make his morning ritual quick and moved downstairs to check what could it be. He got the mail and suspected it. It was actually an invitation.

Oh right. Sai's exhibition will be held tomorrow.

He better be prepared.

~o0o~

Sasuke had read Gaara's text over and over, but he got no clue of what was it all about. When he decided to call the redhead, he was already unreachable.

Now he was already at the airport. He better met Naruto as he was still mourning over Sai. Where could he be at the moment?

"Do you think I should call him and asked where he could be?" Sasuke asked absent-mindedly through squinted eyes to his companion. It was still early in the morning but the sun was already shining. Itachi was right about wearing shades.

"It's safe if you ask Juugo instead. We still don't know what Gaara had meant about his text to be prepared for."

Sasuke agreed with Itachi's analysis. "What do you think it could be?"

"When did he text you?"

"Around the time they were in the bar, saying that Naruto wanted to drink."

Itachi nodded. "It could be that Naruto already got his memories back. Great thing is that without the warning, you have already prepared for it. But I could be wrong."

Sasuke nodded. It was still eight in the morning, so he thought Naruto was probably still in his house. He took his phone out and was about to call Juugo just to make sure. He had to set his phone back from airplane mode before he called Juugo. But just when he did that, a text popped in.

"Sasuke, call me if you have arrived."

Sasuke did as the text had said. While waiting for the other line to pick the phone, Sasuke watched Itachi calling someone, maybe Suigetsu to get ready. Itachi had instructed the sharp-toothed guy to be ready at the airport. True to his thought, a black car pulled up in front of the Uchiha brothers. In an instant, Suigetsu appeared and gathered the men's luggage to be put in the trunk.

"Juugo," Sasuke said when the other finally picked up the phone. As he talked, he moved inside the car with Itachi.

"Sasuke. Today, Sai's exhibition will be held at one pm. Naruto is invited, so are you and your brother. The invitation is with Suigetsu. Asked him about it. The address is on the invitation."

"Anything else?"

"Kakashi will be in Tokyo on twelve."

"Right. Thanks." With that, Sasuke hung up the phone.

"Suigetsu, where's the invitation," Sasuke asked right after Suigetsu entered the car.

"Ah, sorry. I almost forget about it. Here." Suigetsu handed the invitation to the people in the backseat.

"What is it," Itachi asked as he snatched the black thick envelope from the driver's hand.

"It's the invitation to Sai's exhibition. Think you could tag along with me?"

"Hmm… Why?" Itachi wondered absent-mindedly as his focus was more on the envelope. The older Uchiha scanned what was written on it as he waited patiently on Sasuke. Suigetsu had started off driving after asking where to drop. Itachi had answered to their parents' house since it was the nearest to where the exhibition would be held.

"If what you said was true about Naruto getting his memories back, I would want to face only him, and it would be troublesome if I have to face Kakashi as well."

"Hmm… Okay."

"Good."

~o0o~

When Sasuke and Itachi arrived at the exhibition, it was already two pm.

"Listen, Sasuke. It seems that Kakashi isn't coming. It's the best time for me to explain to him of what had happened that night to clarify things. I will take care of Kakashi, you take care of Naruto. Are we clear?" Itachi ordered and left immediately after receiving a nod from Sasuke. Juugo had informed them that Kakashi wasn't going to leave anytime now. Naruto had gone first and it seemed that the two went their separate ways. Juugo wasn't sure if Kakashi would be coming or not, but it seemed he wouldn't be.

After watching his brother's retreating back, he started studying the paintings one by one. He really enjoyed coming to an exhibition, but he didn't like interacting with people.

Sasuke then started walking inside and started studying the place. The place was not too crowded but not too deserted either. There are plenty of paintings here and there, mostly of Japanese style. There are some paintings of what he could consider as surreal and realistic. The late-artist sure was a great painter.

Upon studying the paintings one by one, Sasuke gasped when his eyes landed upon a specific painting. It was the painting of The Dobe, in nothing but a piece of white satin covering only his crotch area. For a moment he thought it was a renaissance art, or was it?

"This…"

"You."

Sasuke was snapped back to reality when he realized that he was not the only one staring at the painting. His black eyes were met with blue ones.

"How are you?"

"Why are you here?"

There was seriously something wrong with that tone The Dobe was using. "I was invited, apparently."

Naruto scoffed and was ready to leave when Sasuke stopped him by the wrist. "Naruto, what's wrong?"

"It's not good leaving someone with no idea what the other was mad about. So I'll just say it. Let's just say that I finally remembered some memories, mostly the bad ones, and you just happen to be my worst memory of it all."

Now it seemed that Itachi was right. "Naruto, I can explain. Hand to god, I swear I don't remember how it started. It must be the alcohol." Sasuke whispered the last sentence as he let his eyes wondered absent-mindedly.

A shiver ran down Sasuke's spine when his eyes went back to seeing Naruto smiling. It was so fake it didn't reach his eyes. "Now you are blaming the alcohol."

"Naruto…"

"Let me ask you a favor."

"Huh?" Sasuke was skeptical and let go of Naruto's wrist when he was sure that Naruto wouldn't leave anytime near soon.

"Don't ever show up in front of me."

Or not. "…what?"

"Or, I will let you choose. You stay away from me or I will stay far away from you."

Sasuke hadn't been given any privilege to say something as he watched Naruto began walking out of the place.

"Naruto, wait," Sasuke called out, but Naruto wouldn't even listen.

Sasuke started to catch up. When he reached the doctor, he grabbed the man's wrist and tried to spin him around. He didn't expect to get a fist collided with his jaw. Sasuke was sent to the floor in an instant. It stung!

"Fuck off, Uchiha." was the cold remark before he heard the man leaving. He could see some people were staring and some had come trying to lift him, but he put his right hand up indicating that he didn't need any help. The people around who were watching had started murmuring from the scene, but he ignored them. He tried to stand up and began walking again when Naruto's car sped off in front of him.

It's useless now. Naruto wouldn't even listen to him, not even then… not even now. He guessed that he was helpless. All of his efforts so far were useless. It couldn't be fixed now, could it? What could he possibly do now, fuck off? Like, literally?

~o0o~

Itachi arrived at Kakashi's place. It had been awhile since the last time he came here. Nothing major had changed, maybe the car? He couldn't be so sure. Done with his pointless thoughts, Itachi composed himself in front of the door and rang the doorbell. In no time the grey-headed man opened the door. Itachi almost smirked when what he had thought happened. Upon seeing his face, as expected, the older man closed the door again. But Itachi was quick.

"We need to talk."

"There's nothing to talk about."

"There is."

"Oh, what's new? Please entertain me." Kakashi mocked Itachi as he finally opened the door wide and made himself resting on the doorpost, not moving from the entrance or making any move to invite the younger man inside.

"…about the night. I have to clarify what had happened."

"And why is that you want to clarify things now?"

"Kakashi. I love my brother to death. As much as Naruto was suffering these whole years, Sasuke was worst. He went into depression. He could be smirking at one point, but next, he could be cutting his wrists open, bleeding his body's out."

Kakashi stared at Itachi. For a moment he thought that he felt pity for the younger male. "Spill."

Itachi was forced to talk outside of the house when he thought that Kakashi was "nice" enough to listen to his reasoning. "After you called that night, I went to check on Sasuke immediately. He was on the floor, unconscious, blood everywhere. Long story short, I had to carry him to the hospital. He was unconscious, or more likely went into a coma, for about two months."

Now Kakashi was curious about it. "And why didn't you call me back? I waited for you a whole year!"

"That's why I was so persistent on solving Sasuke's problem. It was half my mistake."

Kakashi felt pain growing in his head. "Itachi. We almost lost Naruto and Sasuke!"

"I know…"

"Then why didn't you call me afterward?"

"I lost my phone. Besides, I was busied taking care of Sasuke. After that night, Sasuke went mental breakdown. I had to get back his will to live. I was literally losing my brother. We had to supervise him twenty-four seven. No day went by without him trying to commit suicide. I was practically going crazy. Until we succeeded in getting him back on track that I finally tried looking for you, but apparently I was too late."

"Itachi… For a moment I think that you are stupid sometimes…" Kakashi was perplexed. He never expected that this day would come.

Itachi sighed. "Nobody's perfect."

"You know damn well that we could just save this whole part and move on."

Both men sighed.

"So… Do you know what had actually happened between the two?" Kakashi finally asked.

Itachi was about to say what happened when the sound of a car got nearer. They had to stop to check who it was.

"Naruto…" Kakashi whispered.

~o0o~

Naruto hit the gas and he was outside his house in no time, since his house and the place where the exhibition was held was about five minutes drive.

The parking lot of his and Kakashi's house was for two cars, obviously for his and Kakashi's. So when he arrived with the occupied parking lot, he was left with no option other than parking his car in front of his house. Perhaps Kakashi had someone over, that's why he refused to go to the said-boring exhibition?

Upon reaching toward the front door, he was met with Kakashi and an elder Uchiha.

"You Uchihas are everywhere." Naruto murmured, but it didn't go unheard for the two older males.

"Where's Sasuke?" Itachi asked in confusion, ignoring Naruto's remark. He had trusted his little brother to take care of Naruto and here Naruto was without Sasuke. It could be one thing…

"I told him to fuck off."

"What?" He was right then that Naruto had remembered the past.

Naruto shrugged. "I'm not going to repeat myself."

"Did you actually hear him out?"

"There's nothing to listen. So, fuck off."

"Hold on, Naruto. Have you remembered everything?" Kakashi asked in disbelief.

"Not everything, but plenty."

Kakashi sighed, though he didn't know how Naruto had remembered his past.

"Listen here, Naruto. Please remember. How and why did the night happen?"

"Why would it matter?"

"Sasuke's life could be in danger by now! You never know how his mind works!"

"Then again, Itachi. Why should I care? Did he care about me when that night happened? I could have died, and so far as I remember, I never saw him, not until that day at the coffee shop!"

"Hell if I know about that because it's half Kakashi's fault. Now would you seriously want Sasuke to die?"

Kakashi was making faces by now, though he didn't have the ability to interrupt.

"I would seriously want him to fuck off. It's his stupidity if he takes it too literally, not mine!"

"Then, you are okay if he died for something so trivial."

"Do you think that night was a trivial thing?"

"Then think hard again and tell us what had happened that night, before you live the rest of your life with regret."

~o0o~ FLASHBACK ~o0o~

"Hey, think you could make a time tonight?" Sasuke asked as he watched Naruto changing from his position sitting on their bed.

"I don't know, Sasuke. Why?" Naruto tried to elaborate as he was struggling with wearing his pants.

"Dobe. Today is your birthday."

"Oh. Then, happy birthday to me?"

"Hn."

"I totally forget about it, I'm sorry. But I will try, Sasuke." Naruto smiled sadly and it made Sasuke sighed.

"I hope you could make it today."

Naruto smiled for the last time before he left the older man behind.

Sasuke watched the retreating back of his boyfriend and sighed for the nth time that morning. It was October the 10th. In a few months on April next year, they would be celebrating their third year anniversary. Things were going well in the first year, then shit happened which they called the university. Sasuke took Business Administration class. The classes were moderate as he could balance time for the university and for his normal life.

Not for Naruto, sadly.

The blonde boy had taken medical as his major, saying that he wanted to save lives as an oncologist. While Sasuke could have his normal life as a teenager to enjoy, Naruto couldn't. As the result, it turned out to be a hard time to be together to have fun. Naruto was busied with his classes. When Sasuke only took two classes each day, Naruto took about five, not to mention the other activity in the laboratory. When Sasuke could be at their shared apartment at three in the evening, Naruto would arrive at eleven in the night. When Sasuke's classes started at nine, Naruto's started at six in the morning. Even when Naruto had free time, which was on Sunday, the younger male would spend the day resting the stresses which were the cause from the days back.

Sasuke multiple times had asked Naruto to give him some time off so they could maybe enjoy a date or two. All Naruto could do was promised him that he would try to come home earlier than normal, but no. When Naruto would be back from the university, Sasuke was already sleeping. It was frustrating for both of them, or mostly for Sasuke.

Now Sasuke was making an effort once again, given that today was Naruto's birthday, hoping that Naruto could make it today, even just a simple dinner.

With that in mind, Sasuke nodded to nobody but himself as he stood up, ready to go to his classes. After he was done with his classes, he went groceries shopping. He put on extra effort on cooking the dinner. He had set the room into dim, putting on a single candle in the middle of the roundtable for them to eat, with a bottle of red wine nearby.

Time flew by from six pm, to seven, to eight, to nine. From a sip of wine to two, to three, to four… Eventually, it hit ten and the content of the bottle had gone into Sasuke's stomach. He was pissed. He shouldn't have put his hopes up!

"Ding~" The doorbell rang and Sasuke stood up. It must be Naruto. Sasuke was drowsy and tipsy. The world began spinning lightly when he stood up. When Naruto could hold his liquor, he couldn't. So with only red wine, he was sent over the edge. But he had to open the door for Naruto. But why would Naruto need to ring the doorbell? This was his house, and he had spare keys! Sasuke shook his head to get his vision right until finally, he got to the door. With a foul mood, Sasuke opened the door and grabbed Naruto and pulled him inside. He could hear an incomplete "happy birth-" and yelp but he ignored it as he shoved Naruto to the wall near the slightly closed door.

"What took you so long?" Sasuke slurred his words as he was struggling to get his vision clear. Why was the world spinning? He couldn't see Naruto clear!

"Sasuke-"

Sasuke knitted his eyebrows. Now Naruto's voice was getting weird. "Shut up!" He couldn't take it anymore, as he grabbed Naruto's hands by the wrists up beside his head on the wall, and began kissing him, hard. He could hear the other person gasping, but it only gave him a chance to insert his tongue. He could feel Naruto was trying hard to free his hands but he smirked between kisses. He thought he was stronger than him? Try again, Naruto…

"What the hell?" He hadn't heard that someone was pushing his door until someone talked. He was sure the voice belonged to Naruto. It wasn't possible for Naruto to speak when he was being kissed, right? He didn't know how it happened, it was too fast that all he could grasp was Naruto had sent him a painful glare like he was betraying him.

"Naruto…" It wasn't him, but Naruto… Or a person he thought was Naruto. Then who could he have kissed before?

"I can't believe it, Sakura… Of all people…"

He knitted his eyebrows in confusion. What was happening?

All he remembered next was a scream and a hard, really painful one fist collided to his cheek, which succeeded in getting him sober.

"Naruto, wait!" Sakura shouted as she tried to chase him but failed as the two saw Naruto's car drove off away.

"I thought you were-"

"Look what you have done, Sasuke," Sakura said cold but trembling, eyes watering.

"Sakura, I-"

Sakura wiped her tears away and Sasuke had to watch yet again someone left.

It was until a good five minutes then he realized what had happened.

He had fucked up.

Here comes the regret.

Sasuke laughed and shouted as he began flipping the table and threw anything he could reach to the wall, destroying everything which ended up with pieces of broken glasses everywhere. He laughed madly as he started walking on the broken glasses without wearing shoes, which in result making the white floor stained with blood by his broken skin. This was stupidity at its finest! But then again, it was Naruto's fault! If he weren't late, it wouldn't have happened!

All Sasuke could think before he lost consciousness was that he was getting tired of no energy left after his fit.

TBC

Published: Monday, December 18th 2017 02.03 AM (JST)