'Im never drinking again.'

I go over this phrase in my head, repeating it over and over, latching onto it and vowing that this will be my new catch phrase.

Of course that's what happened last time. And the time before that. And the time before that. And the…

Ok you get it, it happens a lot. I guess you could say I'm a quitter. Or just a lousy, lightweight drinker. Take your pick.

So here I am again, head reeling and stomach churning after what I'm guessing will have been a fabulous night out. I say guessing, because I have no idea what actually happened. Again.

Are you starting to see a pattern here? Yeah, I'm definitely never drinking again.

I drag myself out of bed, noticing for the first time that I am actually in my own bed this time. Score one for me. Last time I ended up in Alice's room with Rose, the time before that I was on the floor in the living room at Edwards apartment – while he was working. Apparently I stole his spare keys and told him I was planning something sexy for him. Of course I then fell onto and passed out on his sofa, later rolling off said sofa when he tried to wake me up and just carried on sleeping. And snoring. Classy Bella.

And oh yes, I had a fantastic time explaining those bruises to Charlie.

He knows the truth, but he still wants to believe his baby girls is a good innocent child who doesn't drink or have sex, or anything else a normal grown up daughter would do. I love him, but he can be rather annoying at times.

I somehow manage to hobble out of my room towards the kitchen, wondering along the way how much dancing a girl had to do for her feet to feel like this. Ever stepped on a plug, or a piece of Lego with bare feet? Imagine that, but all over the bottom of your feet and with every step you take. Ouch! Why did I let Alice pick my shoes last night?!

I peer into Alice's room as I go past, notice a particularly hairy leg poking out of the covers and promptly shut the door. So I guess Jasper came home with us last night.

I wonder if Edward and Emmett did too.

I tiptoe towards Rose's room – tiptoeing seems like the most comfortable option right now – and push the door open slightly. There are no uncovered limbs – thank god! I have seen far too much of Emmett than I ever want to see – so I try to make out the shape beneath the covers. The lump definitely looks too big to just be Rose. So we have Emmett for breakfast too.

Hmm…do we have enough food for Emmett?

Stupid question, of course we have enough food for Emmett, Rose always keeps a good stock of food for him.

I continue my journey through the apartment towards the kitchen, trying to listen for any signs of Edward. I can't hear him, but that doesn't mean anything with him, he can be really sneaky sometimes. I check the living room, the kitchen, the games room, the bathroom, and even Alice's craft/design room but there is no sign of Edward anywhere. I guess he must have gone straight home after work.

After a large glass of water coupled with two aspirin, I raid the fridge for Emmett's hangover breakfast of choice. This is, of course, a big greasy fry up. Normally it's Edward making it – I'm never the first one up, and I normally only emerge when I smell the food.

I turn the radio on low and start to prepare everything.

The first person to surface is Alice, looking as she normally does after our night out; tired, cranky, and quiet. But today she seems different; I can't seem to put my finger on what's different though.

"Morning." She mutters quietly as I pass her a large mug of coffee. She moulds both hands around it and ducks her head, staring into the murky liquid.

"Morning." I reply, passing her a plate of toast. "Jasper not up yet?"

"He's coming, he…" She pauses, looking up but not looking me in the eye. "He had to make a call."

Before I can ask her what's going on, Jasper enters the room, fully dressed and pulling on his coat. "You're not staying for breakfast?"

He looks towards me briefly but then looks away. "No, I have a meeting this morning, I completely forgot about it till now." He bends to kiss Alice, then disappears with a muttered, "Bye Bella," In my general direction.

Hmm. That was odd. Oh well; more food for Emmett I guess.

As though the thought somehow summoned him, Emmett appears in the kitchen with Rose. He's also fully dressed, with his coat and everything.

"You too?" I ask incredulously. It is not like Emmett to miss out on food, especially extra helpings.

He scratches his head, glancing at me before looking straight at Rose. "Yeah, I uh…I have some…paperwork…to finish. For an event that's on next week."

"Oh. Ok, well do you at least want some of this to go? We have plenty."

He looks down at the food for a moment, "No, I really should go now." He too bends to kiss his girlfriend, the same, "Bye Bella," is muttered as he leaves, and I'm left wondering what the hell is going on.

At first I thought Alice and Jasper maybe had a fight or something; she had been getting stressed about his working times a lot more recently, but they had seemed fine this week.

But what are the odds of Alice and Jasper having a fight at the same time Rose and Emmett are? And why would they be acting to peculiarly to me?

Alice is staring at the counter, nibbling gently at her toast and blocking any attempt I make to gain eye contact.

I turn to Rose, flinching at her cold expression. She hasn't looked at me like that since 10th grade, when she thought I was trying to steal her boyfriend. I wasn't.

I was trying to steal his homework.

I try to think of what I could have done that would make her look at me like that. Did I come on to Emmett?

No way! I wouldn't do that! Not only is he Rose's boyfriend and Edwards cousin, he's also like the brother I never had. There is no way, even drunk, that I would ever even consider coming onto him.

"Rose?" I ask timidly. "Are you ok?"

"Just fine, Bella." She snatches a slice of toast from the plate in the middle and raises one perfectly plucked eyebrow. "How about you? Are you ok this morning Bella?"

Alice's head shoots up. "Rose." She whisper-shouts.

"I didn't say anything." Rose whisper-shouts back.

"Just leave it."

I look between them both as they have one of their silent-facial-expression conversations. They each glance at me a few times, before returning to their conversation.

I finish with the girls plates and place them on the counter, waiting for them to stop their silent conversation. Nope, I can't wait. "Ok, what's going on?"

Rose turns to me – cold stare firmly back in place - while Alice seems determined not to make eye contact.

"Nothing. Nothing is going on Bella, I guess we're all just…" She purses her lips, taking a deep breath before she finishes. "…tired, after last night. It was quite a night after all."

Alice slams her hand onto the counter, standing and glaring towards Rose. "Rosalie Lillian Hale, shut your fucking mouth, right now!" Before either of us can react to her outburst, she's gone, practically running out of the kitchen. We hear her stomping footsteps, the slam of her bedroom door, and the click as she locks it.

After a moments silence, I turn towards Rose. Her face is pale but she still looks angry. Is that towards me or Alice now?

"Nothing's going on, really? What the heck could be so bad for Alice to full name you and drop the f-bomb?"

This just seems to make her more angry.

"You're so full of crap." She seethes, pushing her plate away with such force that it spins across the counter and falls with a loud smash onto the floor. "You go out of your way to cause problems, and then conveniently forget about it all every single fucking time. You need to sort your shit out, Swan, before you lose us all."

And just like Alice – though not quite as unexpected – Rose disappears to her room, the click of the lock sounding extremely loud in the awkward silence.

I'm left standing alone in the kitchen, with food and bits of broken plate around my feet, and no clue what the hell just happened.

What the fuck happened last night?!

I take my time cleaning up the mess on the floor. Partly because there are so many thoughts running rampant in my head that I can't focus properly, and partly because me handling anything broken requires a certain kind of attention to detail. Needless to say, I really don't have the concentration for it today, and I end up with several bleeding fingers. Nothing serious, nothing I haven't dealt with before, but still a pain in the ass. Or hand, I guess.

Halfway through I wonder if I should call Rose to clean this up instead. She did make the mess after all. But I sense that would be a serious threat to my health, so I just get on with it.

When I'm finally finished, I take out two trays and put a plate of food and a mug of fresh coffee on each. Holding them carefully in each hand, I make my way towards the bedrooms, leaving the trays outside their rooms and knocking. I don't say anything, wanting to keep the peace for a little while longer. They'll come out when they want to talk, and me pushing it would not work well in my favour.

I take a quick shower and try to remember what happened last night that would make them react like this, but nothing comes to mind.

I remember leaving the apartment and heading to the club with Alice. All three boys were working last night, so we were going to have a few drinks while we waited and then chill out at their house with takeaway, as we normally did when they were working. I remember getting to the club, and the first few drinks we had, but that is where my memories stop.

I really should stop drinking, it never ends well.

I finish in the shower and change into my comfy sweats – which are actually borrowed/stolen from Edward – and head back to the kitchen to eat my own breakfast. Along the way I notice the trays are missing, but I can hear no sound from either room.

I look at the food and groan. I don't want to waste it, but I know I won't eat it all. I made enough for six, and now I've been left with four peoples servings.

Maybe I'll take some to Edwards.

I search everywhere and find my phone in Alice's coat pocket. I probably dropped it somewhere last night, and she picked it up to look after it, she's always doing that.

As I wait for Edward to answer, I look through the cupboards for a tupperware box, making a mental note to organise the cupboards properly.

It goes straight to answer. Hmm. That's odd. He always answers, even if I end up waking him up.

I try again, wondering if maybe he left his phone at the club. Or he left it upstairs and went down for breakfast. Or he's in the shower.

No matter how my brain tries to calm me, I can't shake the niggling feeling that something isn't right. First the boys are acting strange – Emmett turning down double helpings of food is so beyond strange! – then the girls have a mental breakdown moment, now Edwards not answering my calls.

Mid-ring, a flash of a memory stirs.

I'm sitting on the ground outside the club, with Rose pacing back and forth in-front of me. She's yelling…something, and gesturing wildly, as she does when she's seriously pissed. It's all blurry…there are tears streaking down her face, but she looks so angry…I've never seen her so angry before.

"You're an asshole!" The words tumble out of my mouth as I throw my purse and my phone towards her.

"Yeah, maybe I am." She falters, coming to stand directly in front of me, crouching down so her face is level with mine. "But right now I'm the only asshole who gives a shit about you."

The sound of Edwards voicemail jars me back to the present, but Im barely listening. I throw my phone down and jump up, almost running – if I were to actually run, I'm pretty sure I would break something; most likely myself - across the apartment to Rose's room.

"Rose!" I shout through her door, banging on the wood repeatedly. "Rose I need to talk to you. I'm sorry for last night; I don't know what came over me. I'm sorry I called you an asshole. Your right, you…" Before I finish, the door swings open and I half fall onto Rose.

"You remember then?" She asks, the urgent note in her voice startling me, almost as much as the fresh tears on her cheeks. "All of it?"

"I…well, no. Just that bit. I remembered being outside the club, and calling you an asshole. I don't know why, but I'm so sure you didn't deserve it."

Conflicting emotions flicker across her face as she stares at me; hope, sadness, anger, back to sadness. All in what felt like seconds. She brings both hands up and rubs at her face, scrubbing the remaining tears away. "Just fan-fuucking-tastic." She mutters, more to herself than me, before pulling me roughly into her room and slamming the door. "When this is over, when we've sorted all this shit out, your starting fucking AA meetings."

Rose POV.

I've created a monster.

Well, at least, we did. Alice and I. We created a terrifying alcohol monster that doesn't seem to know when to stop. Her name is Bella. And she is crazy.

She's not even normal drunk-girl crazy, because at least those girls can admit when they are being crazy, irrational assholes. Bella has transcended to a whole new level of drunken-crazy, the kind that saps you of all happy emotions and leaves you feeling like a bitter empty shell of a person, who's only joy is to lash out at those having a good time.

I know it well; I've been there too.

When I was stuck in a meaningless relationship with my Fathers friend Royce, I felt like the only way for me to be happy was to have the drinking buzz. It made me forget all the crap for just a little while; I could be numb to the world. It didn't matter what I did or said, because it would all be forgotten in the morning. Literally. At least by me. I could forget the harsh words, the crude connotations about me to his friends, and even the beatings. Everything faded. I was blissfully numb.

I wanted to stop, I wanted to get out and be free so badly. But every time I tried, I could see the disappointment in my Fathers eyes. He wanted me to be 'happy'; which to him meant that I needed to be married to someone rich. Preferably with a company he could invest in and make money from. Enter Royce.

When I finally hit rock bottom, I knew I had to get out before I killed myself. Or Royce did.

It's been three years since I broke off my engagement with Royce. Three years since I've seen him or my Father. And I've never been happier.

Seeing Bella like this scares me. I don't want her to be that empty shell of herself, but she's already halfway there, and I don't understand why.

When she ended things with the dog and moved in with me and Alice, I thought we would finally see our happy-go-lucky Bella again. And we did for a while. But then she started drinking more and more often; we spend a lot more time at the club now we're all with the owners, but me and Alice don't drink every night we're there. But Bella…she's seems to be spiralling out of control. And I don't know how to help her. Or if I even can.

And now, as I stare blankly at Bella sat on my bed, wide eyed and wondering what the hell is going on, I have no idea how to even start to explain things.

As I pace back and forth, muttering a few silent curse words to myself, I make a mental note to invest in a swear jar. The way things are going at the moment, I'd making a killing.

"Rose, please sit down before we have to buy a new carpet."

"Trust me, a new carpet is the last of our worries."

I zone out for a moment, still pacing back and forth, thinking about what to say. Normally this would not be a problem, I'm never normally short of words, but if I just go straight into the shit-storm I could make things a whole-hell-of-a-lot worse.

"Rosalie!"

Bella's shout snaps me back to reality and I stop, spinning to face her.

"I was trying to think, but clearly you can't wait for that, so here goes."

Music thumps in my ears as I make my way into the club. It's my night without my girls, so rather than taking up our usual booth I head towards the bar. Emmett is working tonight, so maybe I'll get a chance to talk to him when it's a little quiet at the bar.

As I find my usual bar seat – not right in the middle where all the drunkards end up, but far enough away from the loos that I can't smell anything, perfect – I take a glance around the room as it slowly starts to fill up. Its Tuesday, so it's not going to be that busy tonight.

"Hey Rose."

I turn back to the bar and smile at the familiar face. "Angela, hi. Emmett told me you weren't working tonight?"

"I wasn't meant to, but Jess called in sick, so here I am. Emmett should be down soon, he had a meeting with the guys. Do you want to wait or do you want a drink now?"

I glance at the door leading upstairs, knowing that in their 'meetings' they usually spend half the time talking about crap, before they actually discuss what they were meeting about. It can take them hours when really it should take about 20 minutes. "How long have they been up there?"

She glances at the clock behind her and smirks, "Around an hour now; wanna see if they can break their record tonight?" She chuckles softly before turning to the bottles behind her. "You want your usual?"

Part of me wants to cringe, they know me and my drinking habits so well, but another part of me feels comforted and almost happy by this. I feel like I've joined their little family. A strange alcohol-driven type of family with a lot of weird drunken friends, but a family none the less.

"Not tonight. I think my liver need some time to recover so I'm on the soft drinks."

"Hmm," She turns slightly, looking around at the soda taps. "Well, I make a mean Virgin Cuba Libre."

"Isn't that just cola?"

"With lime Rosalie!" She slaps her hand on the counter, and her face turns mock-serious, her eyes twinkling with laughter.

"Well, how could I forget!"

Two hours later and the boys finally emerge, looking confused as I laugh and take $50 off Angela.

"What's that for?" Emmett asks, gesturing to the money as I slip it into my purse.

"We had a bet going." I lean over the bar and plant a kiss on his cheek. "I got here two hours ago. She said you would be down in an hour, I said it would be nearer to two, I won."

"Why didn't you come up?"

"I was fine chatting to Angela. I much prefer her to Jess; if she had been working tonight, then I would have been straight upstairs."

"I don't blame you. That's actually what the meeting was about. She's been calling in sick a lot lately and when she is here, she spends more time hitting on the customers than serving them. We've had a couple of complaints; we think it's time to let her go."

Angela and I both cringe. "Have fun with that conversation." Angela mutters before turning to serve someone.

Emmett smiles and crosses his arms, looking towards Edward. "Not my job, Eddie said he'll do it. He's wanted to get rid of her for months."

"I was hoping to get it over and done with tonight; clearly life is not kind to me." He glances up towards the entrance, and a wide loopy grin spreads across his face.

That grin means Bella just turned up. Sure enough, when I turn to follow his line of sight, I see Bella and Alice slipping through the crowd towards us.

Alice sends a quick smile my way before bouncing her way over to Jasper. Bella doesn't even look at any of us, just heads straight for the bar and orders 3 drinks.

I'm about to protest, automatically thinking she is buying a drink for me and Alice too, but the drinks are gone almost as soon as they arrive, with 2 more ordered and gone just as quickly. Finally, she turns to face us all.

"Woo, I needed that." She mutters, flashing a smile as she slips between Edward and Emmett.

Alice meets my eye, glancing back to Bella once and then to the bar, before she shakes her head slightly. I know what she's trying to say; Bella shouldn't be drinking right now, but what am I meant to say? I'm not her Mother, I have no control over her alcohol intake. If I did, life would be a lot smoother.

Bella drags Edward towards the dance floor at the same moment Alice drags me away to the loos. I don't really want girl-talk-time, but it's hard to say no to Alice.

"Ok, what the hell is going on? Why is Bella suddenly drinking like a sailor?"

"I don't know. I got home, and she was sat on the kitchen floor with a bottle of rum. She told me she had some bad news but she didn't want to think about it, she wanted to go out and forget."

I laugh humourlessly. "Well she's definitely good at that part."

"I don't know what to do. If we tell the guys they'd probably cut her off for the night, but then she'll just get pissy and go somewhere else and drown her sorrows there."

"That's true." She had done that a few times when Emmett had cut her off. "I'll keep an eye on her. If she has too much, I'll force some coffee down her throat."

When we emerge back into the bar, it's hard not to notice the shouting coming from the dance floor. At first I want to laugh; I love it when people bring dramatic relationships to the bar, it makes life so much more interesting.

But then I recognise the voices.

The slurred, loud voice of Bella. "You can't just plan my life for me Edward, that's not how this works."

I see them both, Bella teetering in her heels along the edge of the dance floor, Edward frozen in place beside her.

"I'm not planning your life Bella, I'm just making suggestions." He pleads quietly, taking her hand. She shakes it off and continues dancing, turning her head to look at him.

"Well maybe I don't want your suggestions."

Near enough everyone in the bar has turned to look at them now. I doesn't feel right. I push my way towards them and put my arm around Bella, trying to pull her with me while pushing Edward towards the bar too. "Maybe you should go somewhere else to talk about this."

Bella twists out of my embrace as we reach the door to the office, taking a bottle of JD off the back shelf and slamming some money in front of Angela. "There's nothing to talk about, it's done. I rang the hospital this afternoon."

Edward pales. "What?"

"I have an appointment next week." She turns to leave, but Edward is quick to take hold of her arm.

"But…you can't just decide that without talking to me, that's my baby."

Baby? Bella is pregnant?

I zone out, barely hearing the rest of the conversation. All I've ever wanted is to be a Mother; I would literally kill for it. The years of abuse I suffered from Royce, along with the years of poisoning my body with alcohol, had made it almost impossible for me to have a baby.

Hearing Bella being so angry about it tore me apart.

At some point, Alice joins the conversation. I don't hear much, but the few words I do hear make me think this conversation is definitely going in the wrong direction.

A smash of glass brings me back to the present, the bar going deadly silent as Bella reaches to hurl another bottle at Edward. Automatically, Alice and I grab an arm each and drag her outside.

"What the fuck is going on?" I shout as Bella stumbles out of the door.

"Nothing, just people," She looks pointedly at Alice, her eyes narrowing. "Sticking their nose where it doesn't belong."

"Well excuse me for trying to be your friend."

"I didn't ask for your input, so but the fuck out."

Smack!

Alice is gone before I can register what happened, but Bella is reeling. She stumbles to the floor, muttering curse words with Alice's name mixed up amongst them.

"What the fuck is going on with you?" I find myself shouting, a mixture of confusion and anger rising up inside me. "First all that shit with Edward, and then you clearly got on the wrong side of Alice, what the hell did you say?"

"Fuck you." She shouts back, trying and failing to stand. I offer my hand to help but she pushes me back.

"Thanks, that's so sweet. Not like I'm trying to fucking help you or anything."

"People need to stop trying to run my life. I'm a grown woman, I can make my own choices and I can certainly take care of myself. I don't need your help, any of you."

"We're not trying to run your life, Bella. We're your friends; friends help each other out when things get shitty."

"Yeah well, I've been through shittier times than this without you. I can look after myself, I always have." Again, I watch as she tries to stand, not bothering to help this time.

"You know what? Fine." As I always do when Im stressed, I start to pace back and forth, feeling tears start to trickle down my face. "You don't need my help? I won't offer anymore." I hear myself getting louder, anger and sarcasm taking over. "I'll tell the others too, just so they know they don't need to do anything for you anymore, or help you out. Because you don't need us. And we don't need your shit anymore."

Bella looks up at me, tears streaming down her face, but anger in her eyes. She tries pathetically to throw her phone and her purse at me, barely managing to get them a foot away from herself.

"You're an asshole!"

I laugh a little; she's pissed when we help, but calls me an asshole when I say I won't help anymore?

"Yeah, maybe I am." I stop to pick up the phone and purse, crouching down so I'm level with her face. "But right now I'm the only asshole who gives a shit about you."

Sorry for the massive gap in chapters, and the slight abrupt ending to this chapter. I've had so much work to do for Uni, it kinda took over my life for a while, but this week I've had this chapter tumbling around in my head and I couldn't finish any of my work until I'd written this, so here you go. Let me know what you think, and what you think might/should happen next.