I am sorry its taken so long to get this out, I've had a crazy few years. But this one is started to be an easy one to write. I found out I'm pregnant, I'm now 23 weeks, so this chapter was actually pretty easy to write as its basically the conversations I've had with various nurses and midwives. Hopefully the other chapters will be as easy to write.

Two months had passed since that awful night at the club, and though things were not perfect, we were working at it. I had decided to keep our baby and Edward was doing his best to show me that we could be the perfect little family. I still had my doubts about being a Mother, but with help from Edward and my doctor I was slowly coming to terms with that.

At least I knew I'd made the right decision at the clinic that day.

"I want to come with you." Edward stated for what felt like the hundredth time as I got ready for my appointment. "I don't want to miss anything."

In the back of my mind I knew what he was really saying. He didn't want me to make a choice without him. Again.

Thing's had been better over the past week, we had talked about it properly and at length until I felt like there was nothing left to talk about, but things were far from normal. I felt like he couldn't trust me. And part of me understood completely.

"It's just a consultation, nothing is going to happen. They just want to see me because I cancelled the…" I couldn't say the word, I could already see the hurt in his eyes flaring up at thought of it, "…the other appointment."

He paused, the weight of what I had almost done without thought was heavy in the air. "And after you've talked to them…you'll talk to me before you make a choice, won't you?"

"Of course, I will." I grabbed my purse and keys and turned to give him a peck on the cheek before I left.

Sitting in the clinic that day was a strange experience. I had never really thought about being pregnant before, or how I would look or feel when it happened. But sat there in the stuffy waiting room, surrounded by women in various stages of their pregnancy I couldn't help picture what I would look like when I was that far along.

I imagined sitting at home with Edward, curled up together reading a book or watching tv, his hand resting protectively on my bump. Sitting in bed together, me laying back giggling as Edward sat with his head against my stomach and talked nonsense or sang to our baby. Edward holding a tiny little bundle in his arms, pure love shining out of his eyes as if nothing could ever top that moment.

So many things flashed through my mind, the good things that I hadn't let myself believe I could have because it wasn't the right time. But was there ever a right time? People had babies all the time, not always planned, but was it always a bad thing? I knew people, friends of my parents, who had planned and tried for years to have children, and once it happened they were miserable and things were still difficult. Did it matter how and when these things happened, or was it how you reacted that mattered?

"Isabella Swan."

I jumped as I was brought out of my musings, and followed the nurse to the consultation room. After some general questions about my lifestyle and habits and when I had my last period, she checked my height and my weight and took a blood sample. She sent me away with a little clear plastic pot with my name on it and told me to have a sample ready when the doctor called me.

Half an hour and quick trip to the loo later, I was called again.

"Good morning Miss Swan, have a seat." The doctor said as I shuffled into the room. She was flipping through a few pages on her desk as I nervously sat down and slipped off my coat.

"My name is Tanya, I'm one of the community midwives here at the clinic. I can see from the notes that you previous booked an appointment for termination, but it was cancelled shortly after. We're gonna have a little chat about that today and then a general check to see how things are doing." She followed a few lines on the page with her pen, the notes I could see had been written this morning by the nurse. "Your last period was the 11th June," She opened a drawer and took out a circular piece of card with dates on it, turning the dial to a few numbers. "That means you are roughly 10 weeks along, and gives us an estimated due date of March 12th."

I thought about the date. Saying it felt like it was so far away, but in reality, it was only 7 months away. Not long at all. A small burst of panic rose inside me.

"At this point we will need to schedule a dating scan for in 2 weeks' time, and then we can give you a more accurate date." She put down the notes and turned towards me, a small smile on her face. "But we can talk about that in a moment. How are you feeling?"

That was a loaded question.

She waited a moment for me to answer, but my mind was blank. "I know from experience that it can be a shock if you weren't expecting it, and based on the cancellation I think you have a lot on your mind right now. If you don't mind me asking, what made you change your mind?"

"I'm not one hundred percent sure I have." I replied honestly. I took a deep breath and the words started to come tumbling out. "I didn't really have a clear head when I made the appointment, I just jumped into action before thinking. And then I regretted making it without discussing it with my boyfriend first, which is mainly why I cancelled."

"That's understandable. Many women in your position have second thoughts before the appointment. It's natural to have concerns and to be nervous."

"It is?"

"Of course, this is a very big step in life and it can take a few weeks for everything to sink in. Personally, when I found out about my first, it took about 2 weeks for everything to settle from the initial shock of it. My first thought was whether I could be a good Mother, I didn't feel like I was ready for the job."

"That's exactly how I was feeling when I booked the appointment. How did you get over that feeling?"

"I didn't. For me, it was a thought that came. When I was feeling low, or having a particularly bad hormone day, the doubts would resurface. But there was a part of me that was ready for anything."

I tried to process what she was saying, thinking about my doubts and feelings about the baby. True, it had been a low week when I found out and booked the appointment, and when I cancelled I felt some sort of strength inside me that told me I could do this, just briefly. And even today, looking at all the pregnant women outside, I couldn't stop thinking about the baby and what it would be like to hold them.

"It's perfectly natural to have doubts, especially with your first. And he probably does have some too, it's just the excitement is overriding them for him. He is possibly trying to hide them a little bit, so you don't see his doubt as him not wanting the baby."

"I think he's holding back how he's feeling. Because he's so excited, but he doesn't want me to feel like he's pushing me towards keeping it. he's told me he wants the baby, but he said if I decide I don't then he won't be mad." But now, thinking about terminating didn't make me feel right. "I thought it was the right thing for me at the time, but I don't know anymore. I want children, but I always thought I would be a bit older and married by the time I had them."

"Life doesn't always work that way. And there can be complications with having an abortion, it can cause problems further in life when you do want to have children. There are a lot of risks so we ask that you think about it a lot before you make the choice, and we would have a few consultations with you beforehand to see that you are completely sure it is what you want to do."

I thought about Edward, the look on his face when I told him I cancelled the appointment. He was so thrilled at the thought that we might have a baby. Could I really take that away from him because I had some small doubts now?

"I don't think that's what I want anymore. I still have doubts, but I think it's something we can work through together. I'm not alone in this, I have to remember that. I've been thinking about what my Mom went through as a single Mother after she split with my Dad, but I can't be scared of this because of what she felt."

"We can help you too, that's what we're all here for." She opened another drawer and took out a few leaflets, I glanced at the cover of one; it was about abortion. The facts and what to do if I did decide to go down that route. "Take a look at these anyway, its best to get all the facts before you decide and to discuss it with your partner properly. I feel like you have made a new choice, but we have to make sure we cover all bases." I slipped the leaflets into my bag, but I knew already that I wouldn't be showing them to Edward. I'd made my choice. "For now, we will book you in and do a few general checks and get you on track, then you are ready if you decide to take this step."

The rest of the appointment is a blur of questions and paperwork. I fill out what I can, but I need Edward for some of the questions; I know him well, but we haven't delved into family medical history just yet in the relationship. Tanya tells me to take it all home, and bring it for my next appointment.

Walking back through the waiting room, I glance at the women sat waiting to be seen. I can do this. I can be a Mom.

Edward was over the moon when I got home and told him I wanted to keep our baby. Since then, he's been doting on me and worrying about every little thing I do, even if I tell him I'm perfectly able to do it. Like cooking dinner, or making the bed. It is quite nice to put my feet up sometimes, especially when I have a bad sick week, and let him do the work, but I don't want to sit around all day and do nothing. Yet.

Today is a big day, one that Edward has been looking forward to for the past two weeks; my twenty-week scan. Edward wants to find out the sex of the baby.

This morning, he has been flying round the house getting ready and worrying that we're going to be late. Even though the appointment isn't for another two hours, and the hospital is only forty-five minutes away. It's cute.

As I sat at the counter eating my toast and jam, the only thing Baby would let me eat in a morning, I smiled as I watched him. His hair was even more dishevelled than usual because he kept running his fingers through it every five minutes, his shirt was buttoned up wrong, and he was trying to put his shoes on the wrong feet.

"Edward." I tried to keep the laughter out of my voice, but it was so hard not to let it burst out. "Edward, that's the wrong foot."

He looked up, then down at his feet and sighed. "Why did I do that?"

"Because you are adorable." I giggled as I put my plate into the sink. "Come here."

He kicked his shoes off and looked at them like they had offended him, before shuffling over to my seat. I kissed his nose as he pouted and started to fix his shirt. "Why are you so flustered today? You haven't been like this with any other appointments."

The first appointment he went to, the second one I booked with Tanya, he was so smooth even though I could feel his leg bobbing every so often with excitement. I had always been the flustered one, worried about missing the appointment or being late or forgetting my notes.

"I'm just excited about this one. And nervous. And unsure." He mumbled as I tried to tame his hair. It never ended well, but I kinda liked it a little bit wild. He pulled a face and took my hands from his head, holding them gently in his own. "I can do that, I'm not a child."

"Unsure about what?"

He bit his lip, a cute trait that he had started to pick up from me, and then sighed. "About if I want to know."

We had been over this conversation a few times over the past two weeks. Whether we wanted to find out what we were having. We had talked about the pros and cons of finding out, and I felt that I wouldn't mind either way. If we found out, it meant we could prepare for a boy or girl easier. If we didn't, it kept the excitement alive and I had seen some nice things that would be perfect for a boy or girl. I'd told Edward it was his choice. Over the past two weeks, he had changed his mind near enough every day.

"Why don't you wait till we get there, and then decide? You might change your mind once we see our baby on the screen."

He smiled his cute dopey smile, the one that always came out when I talked about 'Our baby', and kissed me gently before dropping down so he could speak to the baby.

"You need to be good today little Bug," Edward spoke softly to my stomach, "Mommy and Daddy are going to get to see you and we want some good pictures to show your Aunties and Uncles and especially your Grandma. She can't wait to see you properly."

I shook my head at the nickname. Edward had decided to call the baby Bug for now, because when I started my morning sickness, he said it was like I had a stomach bug. I thought it was silly, but I had started to use the name myself, as had everybody else. It felt nicer than 'it' or 'baby', but it was still silly.

I laughed as he quietly started to sing a made-up song about everyone in the family, and pulled him up to face me. "Come on, we can stop by the café on our way there if we go now. Bug wants a Danish." I kissed him quickly and slipped down off the stool, smiling as I gestured towards his shoes, "Do you need help putting those on the right feet, or can you manage, big boy?"

Edward chuckled and tried to slip his arm around me to tickle me, but I had moved away too quickly for him and ran to get dressed.

"Morning guys, how are we this week? Is the sickness any better Bella?" Tanya asked as we walked into the appointment.

"A little," I said as I took my bag from Edward and pulled out my notes. "Toast is helping, it's the only thing Bug will keep down so I'm having that a lot with different jams and spreads, that seems to work."

"Toast is a good one, try to limit sugary jams but generally you're ok. If you're ok with toast, try crackers and melba toast to change it up a bit. Crackers are a good one to have on hand always." She checked my notes and ticked off a few things, then turned to me with a huge smile on her face. "Ok, let's get the general checks done, and then get you into a scan room."

Edward was almost vibrating as I lay out on the table, my stomach bared ready for the cold gel. He couldn't sit down, because his legs kept twitching, but standing wasn't much help because he couldn't stand still either. "Edward," I reached out for his hand and pulled him towards me. "Calm down."

"I can't help it, I'm too excited."

"But if you keep moving, then I can't be still and calm, and she won't be able to get the picture." Inside I was just as nervous and excited as him, but I knew I had to keep still otherwise we wouldn't see our baby.

Edward took a deep breath and pulled the chair towards the table with one hand, still holding onto me with the other. He kissed me stomach quickly while the nurses back was turned and then grinned up at me.

The nurse turned back with the tube of gel in her hand. "Sorry, it's a bit cold." She said as she squirted some onto me. Id didn't feel too bad. She took the stick-thing off the machine, and held it above my stomach. "Here we go."

As I watched the screen I felt like laughing at how surreal it was. I could see my little baby, see the little movements he or she was making, something I had started to feel last week. Just little fluttery feelings now, not full kicks or movements, but definitely little Bug letting me know they were there.

The nurse talked about the measurements and noted things down as she went along, and made comments about the heartbeat being strong. I smiled at that, happy that our little baby was growing strong.

Finally, the big moment came.

"Do you want to know the sex of the baby?" She asked.

I turned to Edward and smiled. For a moment, his eyes flicked between me and the screen. Then he turned to the nurse. "Yes, please."

Edward turned back to the screen, but I couldn't take my eyes off him as she spoke and his face lit up.

"Congratulations. It's a girl."

Let me know what you think :) I will have a new chapter up next week hopefully.