What the Hell, it's Saturday, might as well update as much as I can since this week is going to get crazy sauce for me and updates may be more sparse, so with any luck I'll get another chapter to you guys tonight. Your support and reviews mean the world to me and let me know if you're feeling the love. Thank you so much for reading!

"Alright, Alex, go kill 'em. I'm proud of you, love you no matter what happens. Knock 'em dead, babe." John held me, stooping to kiss my lips again, his taste steeling me with courage.

I nodded and hugged him back before settling a hand on the strap of my bag strung across my body. This is it.

"Alright, see you later, querido. Here's hoping." I shut the door to our apartment behind me and set off for the headquarters of Publius.

The train ride wasn't long and I spent most of it rehearsing to myself. I was prepared. As prepared as I could be. I followed my GPS and found the small building, taking a deep breath, I reached for the door. It was an open room, wood panelling walls, stuffy mildew and stale takeout smelling, tangled web of power cords running to various laptops, empty coffee cups littering every free table space, mismatched desks and chairs, three beat up couches, water cooler in one corner, with an industrial sized coffee pot. A man emerged from a back room that I hadn't noticed until the door shut. He closed the distance and offered a hand. He was strong, a big man, firm handshake. Maybe I'm just a racist piece of shit… but he looked a little bit like Hercules.

He spoke first, "James Madison, you must be-"

My nerves got the better of me and I cut in, "-Alexander Hamilton, pleasure to meet you."

"The pleasure is mine. Welcome to our humble office. We're a grassroots operation, prefer to pay people rather than work in fashion. We've got too much stuff to do to be too fancy."

"That's good, fancy isn't really my bag, I like humble." I smiled and he led me to a desk and offered me to sit in the vinyl chair, he surprised me by sitting next to me rather than across the desk.

"Then I'm sure we'll get along fine. I've read some of your work. I have to say I'm impressed, your vocabulary alone is incredible, some of your articles from the Post are just mind blowing."

"Thank you."

"It's a shame that paper news is dying out, these layoffs are taking out good journalists right and left."

"I agree, it's hard to thrive in this industry right now."

"So the job opening that we have is to temporarily replace our chief editor, not to be confused with editor in chief, we're not really about titles here, a little more 'all for one and one for all,' but people expect you to have a title, even if they're arbitrary, like I'm the head editor. Anyway, our chief editor, John, has taken ill and we need someone to take his place during his leave, but he may be able to come back at some point, that said, I believe our team could stand to grow permanently."

"John?"

"John Jay, he's the other guy, why you know him?"

"Oh, no, I just, my boyfriend's name is John." and I've outed myself. Damn. If they don't hire me because of that I'll-.

"Boyfriend? Wouldn't peg you for the type. Don't, uh, don't worry, though, we're totally LGBT friendly here. My boyfriend's finishing up his degree in France right now."

"Oh, neat, I have a friend from France. I actually speak French, too."

"Well look at you. I read in your resume that you speak other languages. Very impressive, that skill could help us get our message to a wealth of other audiences, especially in immigrant communities where there's low voter registration."

"I appreciate that too, I'm Latino, and spent a lot of time living in the Washington Heights area, just recently moved farther south, but that's my community, so voter turnout and minority issues are important to me."

We talked for a while longer, conversation flowing easily.

"Well, Mr. Hamilton, I gotta run everything by John, but I would keep Monday open if I were you."

"Thank you so much, Mr. Madison." I shook his hand.

"Please, call me James, have a good weekend."

"Uh, you too!" I gathered my things and tried to contain my excitement as I rounded the corner calling John.

"How'd it go?" he answered.

"Pretty sure I got it!"

He had his quiet 'office voice' on, but his whisper betrayed excitement, "fuck yeah, you did, that's my baby! So proud of you."

"Thanks for everything, this last week or so, John. I don't know what I did to deserve you."

"Don't mention it. I love you, now let me get off here so I can finish up early and come celebrate with you."

"Sounds good. I love you, querido."

"I love you, too."

I tried to contain the spring in my step. Things were gonna be okay. I stopped by a flower shop and picked up a winter-priced bouquet for John, just to thank him for putting up with me and bounded home, not even minding the chill in the air.

I straightened the apartment, getting things ready for John's sister to arrive the next day, enjoying the feeling of my gloom and fog lifting. Things had been getting better, John was bringing the 'better' out of me, unboxing and polishing the person I used to be, the happy, hopeful one. The one I'd thought died with Eliza's baby. None of that, not today, it's a good day. I cleared my mind and stepped outside to light a cigarette, trying the breathing exercises the therapist had given me, but mostly just smoking.

Flurries of snow started, I knew the snow would make John nervous for flights tomorrow, but I watched the snow in wonder, even though I'd lived in New York for half my life the snow still held magic for me, as much as I hated the cold, could never quite acclimate to it, I loved the snow. I started the tea kettle for John when he'd texted me that he was on his way home.

I helped him peel his winter gear off, hanging his drippy scarf up on its hook next to mine and handed him his tea once he'd shed his gloves.

"Thank you," he kissed my cheek, "house looks great." He looked around to see that it was tidied up. Pillows and blankets made up on the couch as a makeshift bed.

I motioned to the flowers I'd dropped into a vase, "those are for you."

"Oh, Alex, darlin' they're beautiful."

"I just wanted to thank you. You've been so patient, so good with me this last week. Thanks for not giving up on me."

"I could never give up on you, Alexander. You're my love."

I nodded. I can't believe he didn't give up on me.

"So what's the plan for tonight?" I asked him.

"Well, I dunno, it's our last night alone."

"So we should fuck each other senseless? 'Cause I intend to do that whether or not your sister is here. I'm not the one who can't keep quiet while taking it." I quirked an eyebrow.

"Jesus, sometimes you open your mouth and utter filth falls out." He shook his head.

"Not the first time I've heard that, my dear Laurens." I leaned in and licked the shell of his ear.

"Good God." A slosh of tea spilled on the carpet as he shuddered against my touch.

"But first, I'm hungry."

John turned giddy, almost manic, "you're hungry? Yes, right now, let's go. Whatever you want."

I rolled my eyes at his care, knowing how much it bothered him when I wasn't in the mood to eat.

"You pick."

"It's stupid cold out. Soup?"

"Soup sounds great. Here, sit for a minute, drink your tea and warm up."

"Are you sure? If you're hungry I don't want to miss out on that, watch you circle back to not hungry."

He knew me too well, knew that I was prone to feeling hunger as a fleeting sensation, a byproduct of honing myself to ignore the pleads of my body.

"I'll be fine, plus, I want my appetizer." I guided him to the couch and straddled his waist, more tea sloshing on the ground.

"Let me set this down before I give us third degree burns."

"I dunno, might be kind of hot." I whispered into his jaw, nipping it lightly.

"You're a sick puppy sometimes, Hamilton, you know that?"

I shrugged, "eh, it keeps things interesting."

"Sure does. But sometimes I like to keep things interesting too." He cradled the back of my head and flipped us, gaining the upper hand, pinning me against the couch, his hair falling into his face, I reached up to smooth it away.

His hands were under my shirt, rooting across my chest in that trademarked John fervor, desperate and unsure of his actions, I drug my thumb across his lips, his tongue flicking out to taste my skin. He sucked my thumb into his mouth, his eye contact almost challenging me to want more, I met the challenge and yanked at his pants to no avail. He sat up, still straddling me and discarded his sportcoat, needing a greater range of motion. He pulled a hair tie off his wrist and knotted his hair back into a messy bun before dropping over my hips, suckling at the valley near the angular bone, one of the only hard places on my body, unlike his that was all muscle and edges.

"John." I breathed.

He opened my jeans and pushed my boxers out of the way, wasting no time, he relaxed his mouth and took me all the way into his throat, nose resting against the soft crop of hair at the base. I sighed and melted at the touch, head lolling to the side. He continued working me over, sloppy tongue swirling, flattening out, prodding, teeth grazing. I gripped at his hair.

"Yeah, yeah, that's good, John. Oh, te amo te amo te amo, putain de bordel de merde. Fuck. Goddammit, no pare, sigue sigue. Yes." I came, almost violently, breath held, toes curled, hands fisted in his hair. He let me ride it out. I threw an arm over my face, basking. He pulled back and wiped his mouth.

"I'm the one who can't stay quiet, huh?" He lie on top of me, not uncomfortably, "what was that? All three languages? 'Oh John, te amo, merde, oh yeah, baby!'" he mocked playfully.

"Shut up, it's my special skill, they liked it at my interview."

"What, you crying out in the throes of passion."

"You're absurd."

"That's kind of why you love me, though, right?"

I rolled my eyes, "maybe just a little bit."

"We definitely have to change these sheets now. You still hungry?"

"Ravenous." My eyes hooded.

"For food, jackass."

"You suck all the fun out of everything."

"Must be why you're no fun, I sucked it all out of you." He mimed sucking me off.

"Can't be, I was no fun before you."

"Whatever, you ready to go get some food?"

"I guess so, but since we have to change the sheets anyways I expect a round two before we do."

I made myself appropriate for public consumption and we left the building to have dinner together, a moment of quiet alone time before the whirlwind of the next few weeks with me starting a new job, Polly in town, and Christmas. Our dinner was spent with long pointed glances, and feet and ankles finding each other under the table, fingers twining between plates to find each other. It was one of the first real meals I'd eaten in a while, I felt it replenishing me, making me human again.

We walked home together, not minding the cold as long as we kept each other close, he was prattling on in true John style.

"...I wasn't able to get Lion King tickets for next week, I guess since it's almost Christmas, but I already got them for the summer so I'll give them to her for Christmas. Hopefully that's good enough. I mean, I got Wicked tickets, but I kinda dropped the 'gay brother who lives in New York' ball, didn't I?"

"I'm sure it's fine, querido," with the hand not holding his I flicked my cigarette and put it back against my lips.

"Yeah, I suppose, I just want this trip to be magical for her. Kid's had a rough year."

"I'm sure just spending time with you will make up for some of that."

"Look at you being sweet."

"See, now that you brought it up and made it a thing, it's gonna stop, I have to be an asshole to you now or else I'll lose my street cred."

"What street cred?"

I pushed him gently, "that street cred."

"You're an ass."

"See that's better. All is right in the world."

We made it home and I insisted that he have his way with me on the couch one more time before we changed the sheet, it was awkward and mostly uncomfortable, my leg falling asleep under me, and our bed only twenty feet away would have been much more practical, but this was about proving a point.

We finished re-making the bed up on the couch for Polly and I kissed John, pressing our still naked chests together, "I love you."

"I love you, too, Alexander." He nuzzled his forehead against mine.