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I'd gotten the job but would only be working a half week before the Christmas holiday when the office was closed for two weeks. James showed me some of the inner workings of the website and gave me my own credentials to log in and publish to the site. The level of freedom was astounding. Fuck Adams. Before the office closed James tapped me on the shoulder, pulling me from the focused shroud of my work. Coffee cup in his hand, he gave me an envelope. I stared at it.

"You can open it." He said gently, I knew he still couldn't quite figure me out, nothing against him, though, I'm not easy to figure out.

I opened the envelope, a check inside, not a small one either, 'Merry Christmas/Welcome Aboard' was written on the memo line.

"I… Wow… Thank you." I stammered, rereading the sum of the check.

"Like, I told you, we prefer to pay people over have a nice office, you're good people, Alexander, damned hard worker. Happy holidays, go enjoy yourself. I'll see you after the start of the new year."

"Thank you. Thanks." I gathered my things and shook his hand.

On the subway ideas began to percolate in my mind, I texted Lafayette.

Got an idea, want your help.

He texted back.

I am at the apartment, Polly was bored, we will discuss there? I laughed to myself, he still struggled to let go of the apartment, calling it 'the' apartment rather than mine and John's, it was an adjustment for all of us.

Deal.

The gears in my mind turned and I smiled to myself, letting ideas gather. I bounded into the elevator and beamed. Got this good-boyfriend-decent-human thing on lock, Hamilton. I threw the door open and found Polly and Lafayette lying on the floor, throw pillows under their chests giggling at a magazine.

"Welcome home, Alexander." Polly waved to me, sitting up.

"Hey guys. Polly can you keep a secret from your brother?"

"Duh." She looked at me like I was an idiot.

"Lafayette, you too, got it?"

"Oui." He sat up, too.

I joined them, sitting across from them, cross legged on the floor.

"So… I was thinking, John's been feeling all torn because, he gets to see you, Polly, but none of his other siblings, and he's been bummed and mopey about that, but I, what if we came home with you, spent Christmas in South Carolina and then came home. Lafayette, you, too."

Polly gasped and clasped her hands to her chest.

"It is a fabulous plan." Lafayette nodded.

"I just got a bonus at work, which is like, fuck, crazy. Sorry, Polly, so there's that, I think I should be able to swing it."

"I can hear adult language, Alexander." She pursed her lips.

"I will pay my own way, and I want the tickets home to be my gift to the both of you." Lafayette smiled warmly.

"Laf, you don't-"

He cut me off, "I insist, Alexander."

"This is gonna be so amazing. John hasn't been home for Christmas in years!" Polly squealed.

"So, how do we surprise him?" I pondered, "that's really where I need help."

Laf waved a hand dismissively, a calm, cool, collected sense about him, "you pack your luggage and then FedEx it to Charleston, have Patsy pick it up, and then-"

Polly cut in, "-you act like you're dropping me off, Laf, you come with under the guise that you love me so much, and then, boom, we all get on a plane."

"Genius!" I grinned.

Polly stuck a hand out, "best Christmas ever on three."

Lafayette placed his hand on hers. I looked between them skeptically. Lafayette cleared his throat and narrowed his eyes at me. Reluctantly, I put my hand on top of his.

Polly squealed, "one, two, three. Best Christmas ever!"

Shortly thereafter, John got home, Lafayette tried to be super casual, "oh, hey, John, we're just hanging out, and you know... talking... because of how we are friends."

John crinkled his face and cocked his head at Lafayette, "uh, okay, weirdo."

"Be chill." Polly growled under her breath and elbowed Lafayette hard.

"Ow." He yelped.

"Did you have a good day?" I kissed him.

"Adams is a fucking idiot." He shook his head.

"I don't miss that." I smirked.

He turned his attention to his sister, "alright, sunshine, we've got about half an hour til we need to go, you excited?"

"Super excited." Polly agreed.

John changed and then he and Polly left for their musical. Lafayette and I got to planning, we were able to get three more seats on the plane with Polly for the flight back to South Carolina, and he booked a flight home for us a few days later.

"We should pack his things now." Lafayette suggested, happily switching to French since we were alone. I could almost see his mind relaxing as the real time translation wheel stopped spinning in his brain. Conversation between us flowed easily when he got to speak in French.

I started the list to pack, it would be even more inconspicuous since I would be mostly bringing along summer clothes due to the warmer climate.

"You are so good for John. He's never been this happy." Lafayette mused, packing John's bag while I packed my own. What the fuck? Me? I really make him 'the happiest he's ever been'? Me?

"I don't know about that." My French felt rustier than I liked, the conversation with Lafayette was good practice.

"I do. I have known John for a long time and through a lot of boys, but you, you're special to him. He's serious about you."

"I'm serious about him, too." I don't even know why I was opening up to him, our secret language felt safe and confidential, like those weren't words that could be repeated in English.

"Thank you for being so good for my friend. I have, for so many years, worried about him, he was on a path to self-destruction for so long. You brought him away from that. Helped him swim back out. I don't think you even know how much it's true."

It was really that bad? My John, that lost?

"He's lucky to have you." I smiled and handed Lafayette more of John's clothes.

"Want to hear something embarrassing?"

"What's that?"

"He came home from his first day of work in such a bad mood, looked like he was on the verge of tears, you know how he gets when he is frustrated with something. Took a bubble bath, made a cup of tea, and then took himself to bed early," Lafayette dropped the shirt he was rolling up and doubled over laughing, face in the open suitcase, he came up gasping, grin that was all teeth and took up half his face, he fixed his askew glasses and wiped a tear, "I have not heard him masturbate so much since we were fifteen."

I pressed my lips together to try and stifle a laugh, but it burst out of me in an elephant trumpet and I clutched my stomach, laughing until tears rolled down my face.

"Are you serious?" I asked in choked gasps.

Lafayette nodded, "he was just moping around the apartment, all like" he switched to English and put on his best - but still terrible - 'John voice,' clasping his hands over his heart "'what the heck I gotta do to be with him? Lafayette, Lafayette, he's so perfect, if you could only see him,'" he put a wrist over his forehead like an actress in a black and white movie and sighed, "'and so attractive. I'm gonna marry that man.'"

"Oh, please, he did not."

"It's true, he did. He has loved you since the moment he first saw you."

I rolled my lip through my teeth, "I guess I have, too."

"He was convinced you hated him, he was mortified to even be around you. Every morning, he would come out and ask me what I thought of his outfit and no matter what I said would change at least three times. He thought about just quitting his job after the first day. He has never been like that before."

"Really? He did all that?" I shook my head in disbelief. For me?

Lafayette nodded and went back to packing, "now, what do you say we engage in some day drinking?"

I considered it, "I'm down. Let's go."

We finished packing the suitcases and went into the kitchen. Lafayette grabbed the bottles from the freezer and sat on the island, I sat on the counter across from him and he poured us each a shot. He handed me mine.

"To John being ridiculous." He tipped his shot glass toward me.

"Hear hear!" We downed them.

That shot was followed by at least five more. We migrated to the living room, gravity now had a comfortable tilt to it. Lafayette struggled against the shift more than I did. He turned on the tv, flipping through netflix. I stepped out for a cigarette, leaning heavily against the metal railing. Had John really been that nervous? More importantly, had he really said he wanted to marry me? Did he mean it, or was it just his flair for the dramatic? For an instant time held no meaning and I existed on parallel planes, John and I strolling through Central Park together old and grey, the flash of memory of him holding Ellie during our trip to South Carolina, them knocking on the storm door to get my attention while I smoked on the porch swing. My breath caught in my throat, until the smoke trapped in my chest forced me to cough. My mind spun from the whirling timelines and from the alcohol. I flicked my cigarette out and went back inside.

Lafayette was facetiming Hercules, he thrust the camera my direction, and demanded I say hello.

"How's Switzerland?" I asked.

"Exhausting, but incredible. Listen, Alexander, buddy, I don't know how sober you are, but you've got twenty minutes until the puking starts. Good luck."

"What?" I asked, not sure if I heard him correctly.

"Laf's gonna go full white-girl on you here in about twenty minutes. I'll pray for you."

I remembered the night after the bar and sobered up even more than what my thoughts on the balcony did for me. I sunk back into my thoughts while Lafayette and Hercules talked, my alternate universes and hypothetical timelines whirling together. Lafayette let out a heavy breath.

"That's your cue!" Hercules shouted through the phone, rousing me from my thoughts.

Lafayette's eyes were squeezed shut, his hand not holding the cellphone gripped the arm of the couch. I wrapped an arm around his waist and helped him up, "c'mon, big fella, let's go," I took the phone out of his hand, "peace out, Herc, I'll let you know if he dies."

Hercules shrugged and winked, "shit happens. Have fun." he disconnected the line and I pocketed Lafayette's phone. I led him to the bathroom and perched him on the ledge of the bathtub, got him a glass of water, couple of ibuprofen, and a wet rag, when I returned his head was between his knees, taking big slow breaths, "why do I do this?" he moaned in French.

"I dunno, but this is the extent of my nursing for people whose genitals I don't touch, so I'll call you an ambulance if I hear your head crack against the toilet, other than that, good luck, mon ami." I closed the door behind me and remembered I needed to hide the suitcases. I'd take them to FedEx next time that Polly and John went out. I'd barely shut the door when the retching started.

I sat on the couch and read a book, now pretty much sober, perks of leaning towards the 'functioning alcoholic' end of the spectrum, Lafayette finally joined me, curling up with his knees to his chest on the other end of the couch, he was pale and peaked.

"You alright?"

He nodded and closed his eyes.

John and Polly got back, Polly in a 'Wicked' hoodie. They hung up their outerwear, John surveyed the situation, "you guys got drunk?" a smile twitched on his mouth.

"Yup."

"Regret that yet?"

Polly giggled at Lafayette's ridiculousness.

"Nah, he's fine."

Lafayette was snoring from his corner of the sofa.

"What'd you guys think of the show?" I asked.

"It was spectacular." Polly radiated, going to my study to change out of her somewhat dressy theatre clothes.

"It was actually really good, this is the third time I've seen it, it holds up."

"Good, I'm glad you guys had a good time."

"Glad you did, too," he giggled in Laf's direction, "gotta say, it does funny things to my heart coming home to find my best friend and my love bonding." He grabbed me in a hug.

"I wouldn't quite call him napping a bonding experience." I rolled my eyes.

"Still counts," he nuzzled into me, "I just like seeing all the puzzle pieces in my life fitting together so well."