The Path of Least Resistance
Prologue - Ties That Bind: Into a Game
Or, falling into Fire Emblem Fates and waking up as Corrin when you sucked at the game and have no idea what's going on, and what do you mean 'people are going to die'? What do you mean 'I can't get out'? What do you mean I 'signed up for this' – oh, right. Lunatic Classic mode. Damn it. Self-Insert.
AN: already deviating from gameplay slightly. still swearing. still has action not picking up.
You ever get the feeling of just sheer bliss by keeping your eyes closed inside a really warm bed? I'm talking that feeling that fills you up, every last cell, when you have a thick, heavy – but not smothering – comforter covering you completely, and you're in just the right position so that nothing hurts, and your pillow is seducing your head to stay right where it is and not move an inch.
Like, with a 'red, thorn-less rose in the mouth and a box of the good, expensive chocolates being offered to you' kind of seduction. And your head just falls hook, line and sinker for the bad pillow boy and his soft, squishy charms.
You're not asleep, not really, because you're sort of conscious, but you might as well be asleep because of that beautifully drowsy lull you're in. My eyelids were the heaviest things in the world at that moment, and I had no intention of opening them.
But the world hates me, of course, and an unfamiliar girl's voice broke through the silence.
"Time to wake up, Lady Corrin!"
Fuck that shit. No force on Earth could drag me out here, and aliens weren't worth getting out of this feeling for.
But wait, what did they just call me?
The sweet, lovely feeling was still present, like a dream I didn't want to wake from. I decided it – whatever 'it' was – could wait.
"Lady Corrin," the voice was gentle, but insistent.
No, for real, that was a real voice calling me 'Lady Corrin' – which was not my real name – and that meant someone I didn't fucking know was in my fucking room and calling someone which I hoped to the high fucking gods was not me.
But honestly the fact that someone was in my room was enough for me to open my eyes. And show me two girls in maid costumes and cotton-candy colored hair look at me with startled eyes.
"What," I said because one, they were in maid costumes and sorry for all the people who liked maids and all, but that wasn't really my thing, and two, they had hair like cotton candy.
No joke, it was cotton candy colored. One was pink, the other was light blue, and oh my gosh I know these two. They looked like each other for real like actual identical twins instead of the way everyone looks alike if they're animated by the same artist, but I knew these people.
Tell me this is a dream.
I pinched my thighs. Ow.
Okay, not a dream, then.
Fuck. One more time.
Ow!
Shit.
"Hey, Lady Corrin!" the pink-haired one chirped, recovering from her surprise first, and due to the difference in voice, I knew the blue one had been the first one to speak. "Up and at 'em!"
There was a sigh from behind the twins, and excuse me, I just woke up from a blackout to see people dressed like some people I recognized and this did not feel okay especially because they were looking at me. Do you know how creepy it is to be sleeping and have someone watching you? I remember going to summer camp and then, at the end of the week, being given a photograph of myself sleeping by the counselor. I felt so violated then I cried really hard and scared her. Served her right for invading my privacy.
But when I took a better look at just who else was in my room and watching me sleep like a creep, I immediately forgave them.
More specifically, him. The young man with the silver hair tied back neatly, with an aristocratic, noble face that couldn't be demeaned by anything, not even a butler outfit.
I didn't know many names of the characters in Fates. There was just too god damn many of them. Mind you, I at least had the decency to remember the names of the people I married – hi, Silas and Kaze – as well as my kids, all my 'siblings', and my retainers. If pushed, I might be able to remember the characteristics of other members in my army that were actually important and named and shit. Not one of the NPCs captured by Eyepatch or Hairdo Lady, but you know. The ones with actual faces.
But I knew the name of the guy in front of me and holy mother of Nintendo.
"Jakob?!"
The silver-haired butler smiled, and I swear the room, which was pretty dark, brightened up with the appearance of his pearly whites. "Lady Corrin," he said with a bow. I nearly squealed because um, wow, butler character is hot. Maids weren't my thing, but butlers? Good looking young talented butlers?
Hell yeah. Gimme that good shit. Who cared if he had long hair and I normally thought long hair on guys looked weird? It looked good on him and that was all that mattered.
"Good morning."
"Damn straight," I said. Any morning would be good if a guy with a face like that was there to be the first thing I saw. Like, hot damn. Call a police and a fireman – my heart got stolen and set aflame.
His face twisted slightly in shock, and then I realized I said that out loud. I mumbled it, luckily, so it was unintelligible to anyone listening, but still. Oops.
But wait. Next to him was . . .
I scrambled through my shitty memories and dug out a dusty name so we could move past that slightly awkward moment I had contributed to creating. "Gunter?"
The old man in armor that I had sort of ignored in favor of the young hot guy with silver hair dressed in a butler suit nodded, aged face stern.
Still stunned – not just from Jakob's hotness this time, mind you, but from the truth that was beginning to dawn on me like an actual dawn – I turned to the two girls that had woken me up. Both were looking at me intently, but when I turned to them they gave me reassuring smiles.
"Felicia?" I said, and was rewarded with a nod. And then I had to struggle for a while because I didn't remember the other one's name. she burned herself to death in Birthright and sort of joined me in Conquest but honestly she couldn't marry anyone and I did not have enough opportunities to pair people up because no training opportunities in Nohr so I never used her. "Um . . ."
The blue-haired girl smiled understandingly which made me feel super guilty. As for Jakob and Felicia, they looked at me sympathetically. Usually I didn't like people pitying me but these were beautiful people with beautiful faces. I'd take any look they shot me as long as they did it with those faces.
Gunter just kept his face chill. Old man, you are cool.
But I'd gotten their names right, and their appearances were familiar. Unless this was a dream – a hard pinch on my thigh that hurt a lot told me it wasn't – then I was in a video game.
My breathing grew rapid and shallow, and to really make sure I wasn't asleep I discreetly pinched myself harder, this time on my wrist. Ow.
Fuck, this was real.
As if answering the unasked question, a translucent . . . screen thing popped up in front of my eyes, with a picture of a light-haired girl – the avatar I had 'customized' by jamming the A button and rushing through default settings – and a lot of text.
I read the text first. A picture was worth a thousand words and all that, but the words were more detailed in telling me something I needed to know.
[Welcome to the exciting world of Fire Emblem: Fates!
Player: Corrin
Class: Nohrian Princess
LV 1
HP: 19 Str: 7 Mag: 4 Skill: 7 Spd: 8 Lck: 3 Def: 6 Res: 2 Mov: 5
You are a princess who has been quarantined inside a fortress in the northern part of a kingdom named Nohr for as long as your shoddy memories can recall. Your brothers, High Prince Xander and Prince Leo of Nohr, will be here in seven days to see if you are fit to fight outside of Nohr. If you do not pass their test, you will not be able to leave the Northern Fortress.
Enjoy the experience, and remember – every decision has a consequence!]
Fuck, I was in a video game. One silently narrated by a chirpy little shit.
I didn't know who this cheerful fucker was, but already I wanted to find and severely hurt this person.
"It's alright, Lady Corrin," the blue twin said slowly with a calm, serene face like falling snow. The way she said it made me feel like a bunny – as if she was trying very hard to not scare me. "We know it's not your fault the curse erases your memories."
I may not have remembered the game very well, but this was something I didn't remember. "The what now?"
And that was when they all lost the calmness on their beautiful faces.
They were all professional, and didn't break into a panic attack or anything. Mostly. Felicia was about to say something, but her sister expertly jammed an elbow into her gut, and while she struggled to regain her breathing capabilities dragged her out of the room.
"Just a moment," Jakob, the last to remain, said gently to me before shutting the heavy door and leaving me alone in the room.
Naturally, I scrambled out of bed and walked up to the door, hoping I could overhear them.
"Oh, poor Lady Corrin! Just when it looked like the curse was finally breaking!" Felicia burst out, and someone shushed her. No, please don't shush her. I need to hear this.
I pressed my ear against the door to better pick up on the sounds. Time to play spy.
"Still, this is the first time it has been dormant for three years," Gunter said. "The curse's hold over her is definitely weakening."
"This is also the first time she's forgotten about the curse," I heard Jakob murmur. My hearing was awesome. Thank you, pointy ears that for some reason no one talks about.
"At least this time she didn't forget us," Felicia said. I winced.
Jakob cleared his throat pointedly, and a gasp followed. "Oh gosh Flora I'm so sorry! I didn't mean-"
"It's alright," the blue-haired girl, Flora, interrupted her sister. "It's to be expected. I'm the one least close to Lady Corrin, after all. It's only natural she wouldn't remember me."
That was not the voice of someone okay with something. That was the words a person picked when they were very much not okay with it but trying to hide their emotions so they looked okay.
Guilt guilt guilt guilt guilt guilt guilt. Oh my gosh I'm so sorry Flora. I take back my comment about you being not important. You're important, I promise.
Of all the people to forget, I forget the one that died super tragically. I nearly smashed my head against the door, only to refrain at the last second. Better not let them know I was eavesdropping on their conversation. Something told me 'hi by the way I'm not your beloved princess' wasn't ideal for survival.
"As I was saying before Felicia interrupted," Jakob continued. "What if the curse is getting worse?"
The way they were speaking had me seriously worried, because I felt like I was a patient who got chemo and everything, only to be told later that cancer had returned and this time it was going to win.
I pressed my ear harder against the door, because I couldn't hear anything. Either they were speaking more quietly, or they weren't speaking.
It turned out to be the latter, because Gunter spoke again, and I heard him well enough. "Even if that may be true," he said at last. "King Garon has already ordered she be tested. My old acquaintances still in court tells me that he grows impatient."
"But that's-" Felicia began, only for another 'oomph' sound to cut her off in the middle. I assumed it was Flora and her expert elbow jab.
"We can only hope that this is the last bout of the curse," Gunter said, sounding old. "And that the princess is no longer affected by it afterwards."
"What if she's forgotten all her training so far?" Jakob raised his concern.
That wasn't an 'if' situation you didn't have to worry about there, hot stuff. I didn't know shit about fighting with a sword. Martial arts? A little bit, sure, but no swordplay.
"Then, best case scenario, she fails the test and is forced to remain here."
"But she's been waiting for so long to leave," Felicia said. Ha ha lulz sorry but I'm no longer the same Corrin, and I don't really want to leave because I'm fairly sure that life gets super miserable for me. Whichever country I don't choose ends up being half-gutted. Literally, in the case of Ryoma, who jabs his gut with his super special lightning sword.
I didn't need to see that happen for real in front of me. I really didn't.
"That might be the least of our worries, Felicia," Jakob said bitingly. "He said 'best case scenario'. I think I can guess what the worst-"
"Not here," Flora cut him off. "Lady Corrin must be growing confused or impatient."
That was my cue to get away from the door and pretend I heard nothing. I snuck back to the bed so that they wouldn't know I was eavesdropping, and began sorting through all the information. I was in a game for real, and not just a simple, friendly game like Pokémon or Animal Crossing. A game where people died and wars were fought, and serious family issues dragged a whole bunch of people into drama that got way too overblown.
I think I honestly could have sold my soul to the Devil if it meant I could have been in Animal Crossing instead. Although I'd have preferred not being in a game in the first place.
But I was in a game, as if it was reality. I was Princess Corrin of Nohr, in a castle only in name, locked up like a prisoner. I seemed to have little influence in the outside world, having been quarantined for a long time in the fortress castle thing. Shortly afterwards, about halfway through the tutorial, because of reasons I didn't quite remember right now, I would be taken to Hoshido where part of the truth would come out – I was a member of the Hoshidan royal family thanks to my game-mom. Although I wasn't related by blood, but let's ignore that spoiler bomb for now.
Game-mom dies, and the two tense nations spring into war. At the battlefield, I am asked to choose – the family I grew up with, or the family tied to me by birth.
I ruffled my hair, and then ran into a problem when I realized it was longer than I was used to. Like, a lot longer.
Was this girl trying to be Rapunzel or something? Oh, wait, no that was my fault. I had customized her with long hair. Damn my laziness.
A part of me just wanted to take a pair of scissors and cut it cleanly at neck level, but it would probably be best to have someone actually good at hair-cutting do that. Or I'd just tie it back so it didn't get in my way.
Where was I? Right, the choice I would have to make if I decided to go down the gameplay path.
Having already played through Birthright and Conquest once, I was about to play Revelations when it was just a video game. But was that the best idea right now? Wouldn't it be better that I play a route I knew, rather than the path I knew nothing about?
Or, well, I could choose to do nothing and stay locked up here forever, but I had the sinking feeling that staying inside here forever would do nothing to get me back home.
Going back home. Getting out of this video game come to life. That, I decided, would be my end goal.
And as soon as I had established my final target, I grew frustrated that this had happened to me.
"Ugh," I said. "Why didn't he come here instead?"
My brother knew the stories front to back. I shit you not, he knew it front to back. When I was in the middle of playing Birthright, he decided to see how the newbie was doing, and he actually recited the scripts before they even popped up on screen.
Here was someone who wasted his fucking genius on useless things.
He would have been great here. Known exactly what to do and what to avoid, and get out safe and sound. He'd have actually enjoyed the experience, for one. Unlike me, who had to rely fully on my excuse of the amnesia curse to not look too weird.
And speaking of the curse, that was an awfully convenient device. And definitely not what I remembered from playing the game. Memory loss, yes, but not a curse. Maybe it was mentioned just once and I'd forgotten about it because it was never expanded upon? The only thing I could think of was that weird world Azura had taken me down to, where we found Gunter (although at that point I had actually forgotten about him). Maybe this curse was connected to that curse. Or maybe it wasn't and there were too many curses floating around in this world.
But hey, if a curse meant that I could get away with not knowing shit, then call me cursed and bring me a prince to kiss me out of it.
No, actually, screw that. I'm supposedly the sister of all the princes in this game, even with no blood relations between us, so no princes kissing me. Except that dude Izana. That was one cool dude with some seriously smooth hair. Him, that might not be too bad. Was he a prince? I think he was a prince, or someone on par with a prince.
Still, the excuse would pardon me of a lot of things, like not knowing fucking shit about anyone. Like being an amnesiac, which I guess was true. If anyone asked me the date, I wouldn't be able to answer properly.
But that wasn't enough, was it? I left hearing range before Jakob could indirectly tell me the worst-case scenario, but Garon wasn't a nice person in both routes, and honestly a talentless freeloader would get on my nerves as well.
Since Xander and Leo were coming to test me, Nohrian style, I needed to learn how to fight well enough to pass their test, which was single combat against Xander. In the span of a single week.
. . .
I was so fucked. Sure, he would go easy on me, but it wasn't going to be a video game where I just watched two people duke it out on the 3DS. I had to fight.
Luckily I had two advantages helping me out. The first was four battle units to help me out. Not by attacking Xander – that was going to fail – but by training me. Initially I hadn't been up for it, but the game system proved itself useful in giving me a (very slow) trickle of experience points and weapon efficiency when I sparred with them. Hoping that the test would go something in a game-like fashion, I dove into it, and the four of them helped eagerly.
Felicia was pretty good at fighting. When she was sparring, she had none of her usual clumsiness – which I saw pretty quickly for myself like, five minutes after they finished their huddle to discuss my 'curse' kicking back in. She came in, and then tripped, knocking the mirror hanging on the wall off its hook and breaking it. Seven years of bad luck to you, dear girl. Although that bad luck didn't look like it kicked in during a fight because wow. She was like a pink-haired ice assassin. She did this – this thing with the icy air around her dagger, and then she was jamming so that she wasn't cutting, but frost bloomed on my skin like flowers so that I knew and everyone else knew that I would have been 'dead'. I got cold a lot during spar sessions with her.
Flora wasn't as good at battling as her sister. She was a little slower, and her skill with her dagger was definitely not on par with Felicia's, as was her ice ability. Apparently she was aware and embarrassed about this, because she excused herself as soon as she was able. Still feeling a little guilty over how I'd forgotten only her name, I let her take her space.
Jakob had the sheer, raw strength that Felicia and Flora both lacked. Biology, I guess. He didn't have the icy edge the twins did, or Felicia's speed, but he was strong, and really pushed me. Sometimes. He was super reluctant to spar with me, and every crossing of the blade made him wince. Which in turn made me wince, seeing that beautiful face get crumpled, which in turn made him fret over me, because he thought I'd been hurt.
And finally, Gunter. In Conquest I used him in like, one battle, and then never again, because by the time he joined my army I didn't have all that much of a use for him even on Phoenix mode. Sorry old man, but to be fair I didn't use Flora either, so you two could have chilled together while the rest of us fought Hoshido and then Gooey Garon. Take a well-deserved break and everything. I mean you guys couldn't really be social and make a lot of supports so . . .
But maybe I shouldn't have judged them – and especially Gunter – solely on their social skills and used them more often because this guy was strong. It might have been the difference in weapons – Jakob seemed to prefer using his daggers, but against the bronze sword that I used, he had a slight disadvantage until he got closer and turned the range against me or increased distance so he could throw them (but he never did that, so that was a moot point) – but Gunter met me, sword for sword. And he was not only strong, but super experienced. His old body had decades of experience, and every movement was smooth and executed flawlessly, like water flowing from one place to another. It came naturally, and in the face of nature I was just a human being that longed to observe nature's wrath from a safe place – aka behind a screen, far, far away.
If he was like this in-game, I thought after he knocked me on my butt for what felt like the fiftieth time. I might as well have just let him sweep everything while watching safely from the back. My tailbone was threatening to leave my body, and honestly, with the way the area hurt, I was tempted to let it. If my body could have held a referendum on whether it should leave or not, it would have been out in a heartbeat, and none of the half-half bullshit.
This worried me. If the game system applied, then this guy wasn't too strong overall. Then how strong would enemy units be in the final game? Would I be able to reach the final game?
I didn't want to go down that path of thoughts just yet, so I dove into training.
I spent the seven days sparring and cramming as much info into my body as I could, with little breaks between hour-long sessions. Usually this would have meant that I'd be in crippling muscle soreness soon, but that was the great thing about having Maids and a hot Butler all capable of doing magic stuff. Staves were brought out, and healing magic washed over me like a lukewarm, comforting shower that eased out the pain. It was less of 'disappear, foul pain' and more along the lines of 'fast-forward the part on the pain and get it out of the system and over with quickly'.
Gunter, of course, had something to say about this.
"It's not the ideal way to train," he said after my third healing session. Flora had finished healing me, and Jakob, after keeping Felicia a short distance away, was serving tea and cookies. Caramel-scented black tea and oatmeal cookies embedded with dried berries and flavored with vanilla.
Honestly, when I was eating the food, I was in heaven. Never mind the sore, aching body. Never mind that I was tired because the room was unfamiliar and I took a while to adjust to sleeping in places I didn't feel comfortable with. Never mind that I wanted to get out of this world and return home. The tea and cookies, sweet and comforting, washed it all away and left me in a state of warm bliss.
He was just that good at tea and cookies. I think I was never going to be able to drink tea of any sort at any coffee shop. Their tea had never been done well – it was always just a 'stick the teabag in hot water and hand it over to the customer' kind of thing chains did – and now that I had seen the zenith of epically brewed teas, there was no going back. My tea tastes were forever ruined, spoiled by perfection.
"Nothing beats steady training, of course, and healing magic may offset improvements left by training."
I was less worried about that, though, because of the second advantage. Corrin's body was strong. The basic muscles and fitness were already in place, which was rather surprising for someone locked up. I guess she spent a lot of time climbing stairs and stuff.
What I needed was less strength, and more experience. As in, I needed to get from 'never held a sword before' to 'know how to use without hurting self'.
Corrin's curse might have been wiping away her memories, but it didn't seem to have affected her body memory. Movements I didn't know, instincts I knew I didn't have before were popping out during spars, especially when Gunter went Sparta on me. It let me stand a chance sometimes, and based on those I was able to build up a steady way to respond. I could feel myself improving, and Gunter could see it, because he told me at the end of every session what I needed to work on and what I had improved on.
My status screen told me this, too.
[Experience Points: 7/100
Weapons Efficiency
-Sword: Rank E (5/100)]
That, by the way, was the progress I had made after fourteen sessions. As in for every three one-hour sessions of sparring, I had a chance of adding one point to my weapons mastery level, total out of a hundred, reaching max Rank S. Sessions where I sparred with Gunter always raised it quicker than when I sparred with Flora. Felicia and Jakob were the middle ground between the two.
I was still at level one. I got one experience point for every two sessions, and an efficiency point for every three. This was two days' worth of training. I had five days left before Xander and Leo came to the fortress, and took me to my doom.
. . . I was so dead.