Chapter 20: A House Like the Sea (侯門似海)
Water. Daiwen woke, and it was everywhere. They floated in it, still naked, but a new air bubble protected their head. A second air bubble protected none other than their punching doll, drifting beside them. The punching doll drifted right into a wooden wall and bounced off. Music and song floated back through the water with them.
"Mastrix of the house
Everybody's boon companion
Everybody's chaperone
But Qi Zhong! Won't they skin you to the bone!"
The bubbles popped. Daiwen clawed and kicked uselessly at the water. They looked around wildly. They couldn't swim, but their doll floated.
Daiwen wrapped their arms and legs around the doll as though they were the backpack. The doll rolled Daiwen onto their stomach but took them up. They broke the surface of the water coughing and sputtering.
Daiwen grabbed onto the wooden rim of the tub and dragged themself through the sticky, nostril-burning liquid. It had somehow changed on the way up from water to rice wine. Daiwen dropped the doll over the side. It immediately hit wooden floorboards.
Daiwen pulled themself upright. Their knees scraped the bottom of the wooden tub. They stood up, looking straight at a black curtain. Music continued to blast from the other side.
"Residents are more than welcome
Bridal suite is occupied
Reasonable expenses
With a little extras on the side!"
The curtain opened.
"Oh…"
The music died. A scattered crowd of patrons in a sea of small, round tables had a clear view of Daiwen, naked and dripping, in front of the central prop. To one side of the stage, a youth in nothing but an apron leaned on the back of a chair. Behind them, a fish-headed humanoid covered in fins and scales reamed them with a strap-on dildo.
On the other side of a stage, a giant squid with a porcelain, mask-like face where their beak should've been held an entire band's worth of instruments in their tentacles. A second humanoid, this one wearing nothing but an apron, tapped their suction-cupped foot and spun on four of their octopus-tentacle legs, the other four flying up with their writhing black hair.
"Mastrix of the house!
Mastrix and a half!"
The giant squid put a thick bamboo flute to their porcelain lips and continued to play. The fish resumed rhythmically banging the youth, who lifted and kicked a long, pale leg with the music.
"Servant to the poor,
Butler to the great!"
One octopus tentacle wrapped around Daiwen's wrist. It spun them off to the side with the youth and the fish. The youth hooked Daiwen's waist with their leg and pulled them in close. The youth winked and pulled off their apron by the neck band, baring their erection to the audience between the bars of the chair. They dropped the band over Daiwen's head with a whisper.
"Smile."
Daiwen looked back at the crowd with the largest, toothiest smile they could manage. They nodded their head in time with the music and did their best to ignore the rhythmic bump from the youth holding them with their leg.
The octopus-legged dancer spun from the tub of rice wine to their side of the stage with a full tray of cups balanced on their arm, singing:
"Everybody bless the mastrix!
Everybody bless their house!"
Four tentacles grabbed the cups off the tray, passing three to the fish, the youth, and Daiwen. The dancer flung the round tray across the stage. The squid caught it on top of a two-stringed fiddle. They continued to spin it round as they put the bow to the strings. Performers and patrons, all but Daiwen, sang:
"Everybody raise a glass
Raise it up the mastrix's arse
Raise a glass to the Mastrix of the House!"
-/-
Explicit encounter on AO3
-/-
The crowd went wild. The black curtain closed behind the performers. A large, heavy-set human with deep olive skin and their black hair in netted bun walked out onto the stage in a shimmery, dark blue dress. They raised one hand.
The crowd fell silent. They returned to their seats. The human smiled.
"Thank you all so much for coming out tonight!"
The crowd whooped and cheered. As they waited for another lull, the human snapped their fingers behind their back. The glass shards at Daiwen's feet floated back into their original, separate glasses.
"Thank you, thank you. If you liked what you saw, remember to tell your friends-Yunming Cabaret (雲明卡巴萊), new shows every night!"
There were scattered but enthusiastic whoops around the room.
"Thank you. Though tonight's show has ended, the bar stays open until six in the morning. So please, make yourselves at home. And stay naughty," they winked.
Curtains of shimmering black silk closed over the whole stage. The dancer pulled Daiwen's doll out from the center of their tentacles, giving the backpack a skeptical glare. The human mastrix of Yunming Cabaret turned straight toward Daiwen with a cheek-puffed frown of concern.
"Come with me."
The mastrix led Daiwen to a small lounge behind the stage, its back windows open over a gravel coastline. Daiwen ran past the sofas and buffet table to the window. They grasped the edge to lean as far out as they could.
The sea. The black waves stretched as far as the eye could see, melding into the starry night sky. The tide lapped against the gravel, glowing with unknown life. A salt breeze gusted into Daiwen's face. They snorted and turned back toward the room.
They'd completely exposed their spirit-healed backside to the mastrix, the dancer, the fish, and the youth. Daiwen winced and pressed their backside flat against the windowsill. A suction-cupped tentacle tapped their shoulder.
"So sorry, that's my seat. Do you mind?" asked the giant squid, their masked face filling the window.
"Oh, sorry!"
Daiwen hopped down at once and edged toward a safe, unoccupied corner, but the naked youth shook their head and offered Daiwen a hand. They grasped it uncertainly. The youth led them to a seat at the sofa between them and the fish. The mastrix and the dancer took the other sofa with the squid at the window between them.
The mastrix introduced themself as Mastrix Guang, owner and manager of the cabaret. The octopus-legged dancer, Ganteng (干疼), she/her, and the fish, Zhenping (珍平), they/them, were immigrants from Xidao (隙道), the underwater nation off Tian-Xia's northeastern coast. The youth, Caolan (漕藍), was Mastrix Guang's son.
"And I'm a mermaid," said Rubi (濡幣) from the window.
Zhenping nodded enthusiastically, but Ganteng shook her head. Mastrix Guang and their son exchanged a barely contained smile.
The water gate had brought Daiwen to the south of Other Shenmen, to the fishing town of Bingchi (病斥). Daiwen explained their search for the gates to take them home with a short-and-sweetness that came only from having told the exact same tale multiple times. Mastrix Guang nodded thoughtfully at the talk of spirit gates.
"Maybe that's what happened to our priest."
Priest Ku Houran (枯后苒) had vanished without a trace not ten days ago. A new priest had only just taken the local church under their wing. Neither the cabaret workers nor any of their clientele had met the new priest yet.
"Thank you for all your help," said Daiwen. "I'll start witht he new priest first thing in the morning. Tonight...would anyone mind if I borrowed some clothes? Or, I have money-"
"You already have clothes," said Ganteng, pulling Daiwen's spider silk out from the mouth of the doll.
That was impossible. The clothes had been on the floor outside of the doll in Director Cai's office. The doll had followed Daiwen through the gate once more, but no one had put the clothes inside. Unless the director-improbable. It was improbable, but completely welcome.
Daiwen accepted the dool back from Ganteng and hugged it to their chest. They thanked the cabaret workers once more and laid their borrowed apron on the tea table.
"Wait, why don't you stay here with us while you're investigating our priest?" said Caolan.
"Yeah, new blood!" said Zhenping, throwing up their scaly arms.
"The rooms are for talent only," said Ganteng flatly.
"Awww," Zhenping dropped their arms.
"Well, hold on now," drawled Mastrix Guang. "A novelty might bring in more customers-gods know we could use it during fishing season."
"What's your talent?" asked Rubi. "I play five to ten instruments."
"That's right," said Ganteng. "We do song and erotic dance here."
"I...performed with a sex circus-the greatest show in Shenmen?"
Mastrix Guang let out a low whistle. Zhenping put their arms back up and bowed up and down.
"Respect. Respect," they chanted.
"You've got a place if you want it," said Mastrix Guang.
"I'll take it, but the investigation comes first. Any night I can't perform, I'll let you know in the morning and just pay you for the room. Is that alright?"
Mastrix Guang stuck out their hand.
"We have a deal."
-/-
After Daiwen and the others dressed, Caolan brought Daiwen upstairs to their room. It was a small, narrow space with a narrow futon, but it was clean. More importantly, the room's one, narrow window opened over the Gui Sea (鬼海).
"Hey…"
Cao leaned against the side of the open doorway, rubbing the back of his neck with one hand.
"I know you must be pretty tired, but if you wanted to see the sea up close, I could take you. It's not safe to go alone."
"I would love that."
Caolan led them down a salt-crusted staircase off the back of the cabaret to the gravel shore. Daiwen tossed their silk boots onto the wooden rail and ran to the glowing tide pools. Their sheer excitement numbed the prick and jab of the gravel.
Daiwen leaped into the nearest pool, freezing water splashing up their bare legs and sheath. They shivered and squealed, waving Caolan over. He whooped and jumped in beside them. The tide rolled in next, knocking both down on their butts. They only laughed and spat out the salt between their chattering teeth.
They had to leave the tidepool to dry. They walked along the gravel shore, the edge of the tide weakly but insistently tugging their feet toward the sea.
"Where did you say you were from?" asked Caolan.
"Nowhere. A little village on the edge of the forest."
"I've never seen the forest."
"I've never seen the sea."
"I could tell," he laughed.
Daiwen playfully bumped his shoulder with theirs. He grunted and fell with an exaggerated, stone-spraying slide, into the gravel. Daiwen stifled a giggle and rolled their eyes, but the sky thundered as though in applause. The nightly rain, the same over all of Shenmen, fell in torrents all at once.
Daiwen pulled Caolan up to his feet. They ran back to the cabaret, shrieking like cats at the cold.