Meekins: Although it's not my normal duty, I was assigned to guard the evidence room that day! I spotted a suspicious man on the security screen, and rushed into the room! I was only doing what I was trained to do, sir! I was suddenly attacked! I fought for my life! Then I… I did it! After that, I passed out… until another officer smacked me awake!

Judge: Hmm. So the victim, Detective Goodman, attacked you?

Meekins: "Do unto to others before they do unto you"! That's the Meekins family motto, sir!

Judge: I see. Then you fainted, and a colleague helped you regain consciousness.

Meekins: Yes, sir! He knocked me upside the head, sir!

Judge: Very well. The defense may begin its cross-examination.

Phoenix (Thinking): What I need here is more info to work with!

Phoenix: Mr. Meekins. You work in the General Affairs Department, do you not?

Meekins: Yes, sir! I am in charge of hiring new recruits, sir!

Phoenix (Thinking): Yikes! Now there's a scary thought.

Edgeworth: Evidence transferal was taking place on the day of the crime, which meant many officers were given special tasks not ordinarily performed.

Meekins: I was in charge of guarding the Blue Badger, sir!

Judge: The Blue Badger?

Meekins: Yes, sir. The lovely police mascot created by the Head Detective, sir! I was ensured it wasn't broken during the transferal process. That was my sole mission for the day, sir!

Judge: I see. Sounds like a very… uh, important mission.

Meekins: After the award ceremony finished that day, there were so many people running around that I relocated the Blue Badger to the evidence room!

Judge: Oh… So that's why you went to the evidence room.

Phoenix: And in order to enter the evidence room… you need an ID card, am I correct?

Meekins: Precisely, sir! I have one right here around my neck!

Judy: So then… your ID number should be listed in here, right?

Judy handed him the ID record and he started searching for his number.

Meekins: … There it is! I found it! This is the one right here.

Judge: Could you please read us the number?

Meekins: Yes, sir! It's "4989596." That's my number, sir!

Judy: I see.

Phoenix: Huh? But the number 4989596… is shown as being used twice!

Edgeworth: Please explain, witness.

Meekins: It's n-no real mystery, sir! The first time is when I relocated the Blue Badger to the evidence room, and the second time is when I went to go get him after everything settled down.

Judge: I see. So it was during that second time when…

Meekins: Yes, sir! That was when I spotted the man on the security screen!

Phoenix: And that's when you were attacked…? Can you please tell us exactly what happened to you?

Meekins: It was a knife, sir! A knife!

Judge: Detective Goodman pulled a knife on you? What happened then?

Meekins: Well, with me charging in on him like that, he looked as surprised as I was!

Phoenix (Thinking): You aren't exactly the kind of person someone would want to run into…

Meekins: That's when I reacted, sir! I swung my arms like an octopus, struggling to detain him! That's how I got this gash on my hand.

Ema: Maybe if you'd just kept your cool your hand wouldn't be…

Meekins: When I saw the blood trickling down my arm, I panicked! I grabbed the man by his collar!

Phoenix: I see. And what exactly do you mean when you say you, "did it"?

Meekins: I know I don't look the type, but I'm really into kung fu films, sir! The man let his guard down for just an instant, so I snatched his knife away from him!

Judy: You took his knife!?

Meekins: I spun him around and perform a disarming maneuver! I made sure to close my eyes like a man!

Phoenix: I, uh, see…

Phoenix (Thinking): He must have been desperate.

Meekins: The next thing I knew, his white coat was drenched in a sea of my blood, and then… Then, the next thing I knew…

Judge: Yes?

Meekins: He punched me right in my face, sir!

Judy: So that's when you passed out?

Meekins: Yes, sir!

Edgeworth: And you said that another officer found you and woke you up.

Phoenix: About what time did you regain consciousness?

Meekins: No offense, sir, but how am I supposed to know that? I was unconscious!

Phoenix: Oh… right.

Edgeworth: According to the report from the officer that woke up the witness, it was about 5:30.

Meekins: He hit me right in the head too! I woke up crying tears of pain!

Judge: That's nice… Er, I mean… it's that that you recovered, that is…

Meekins: When I came around though, I made sure to finish my mission, sir!

Phoenix: Your "mission"…?

Meekins: Yes, sir! The Blue Badger, sir! I returned him to the entrance before things got out of hand!

Phoenix (Thinking): Well, we can all rest easy now…

Judge: I believe we now have a fairly accurate picture of what happened.

Edgeworth: Yes, Your Honor. Only one thing remains unclear. Was the man this officer "murdered," really the victim?

Phoenix (Thinking): He's got a point…

Meekins: Um…

Judge: Yes, Officer Meekins?

Meekins: With regard to that, sir… Take a look at this. It was sent to my cell. Chief Gant delivered it to me just this morning sir!

Edgeworth: The Chief?

Phoenix: Delivered it…?

Judge: What is that? A… videotape?

Meekins: Yes, sir! That's absolutely right, sir! A videotape, sir! It contains footage from the security camera in the evidence room.

Edgeworth: What!? But I specifically asked if there was such a tape, and was told it had been mistakenly erased!

Judge: That's quite a mistake.

Meekins: I just do what I'm told, sir. It's the only thing I'm really good at.

Phoenix (Thinking): Looks like the communication with the Police Department is as good as ever…

Judge: Well then, let's have a look! Show us the video of you murdering the victim!

Meekins: Oh… Please stop using that word, "murder," sir! It scares me!

Judy: Oh boy, I don't like the way this is going.

Phoenix (Thinking): Just what are we getting ourselves into?

The video was pop in and well… ah… yeah, we really couldn't see the victim at all. All we saw was Goodman… maybe… opening a locker and Meekins sneaking up on him and then they started to fight and after that Meekins as on the floor unconscious, and that was it.

Phoenix: …

Judy: …

Edgeworth: …

Meekins: …

Judge: Well, I believe we're all thinking the same thing. How can we deal with these unsettling feelings stirred within us…?

Edgeworth: What the hell was that wriggling piece of plywood!?

Meekins: Sir! That is the pride and joy of the entire Criminal Affairs Department, sir! It's the Blue Badger, sir!

Phoenix (Thinking): Why am I not surprised this isn't going smoothly?

Judge: Yes, well anyway… this tape seems to prove that the witness did indeed encounter… er, "someone" in the evidence room, and some sort of… er, "activity" did take place…

Edgeworth: Your Honor… instead of relying on clearly incomplete footage, the witness's testimony will suffice. Is that alright with you, Officer Meekins?

Meekins: Yes, sir! As you wish, sir!