After making the ride to Niima outpost, Rey found a secluded, abandoned AT-AT walker to make as her new home. The first few weeks were the hardest as Rey found herself every night, curled up into a ball on the ground, trembling in sobs over her current predicament. She didn't know what to make of it. Every question she asked herself never brought any answers, just more and more unanswered questions. Who were those people? Why were they after her? Why did they leave her alive? Where does she go from here? What will she become? How did the house catch fire? Was he doing it? Was I doing it? She pondered the questions every night until her body and mind were too exhausted to stay conscious.
The weeks, months, years that passed felt jumbled together as if no time has passed at all. Rey's mornings began with breakfast, being a glass of water and a rumbling stomach. She'd hop on her speeder and fly towards the ship graveyard full of star destroyers. The perfect place to excavate for parts that she could trade for rations. She'd spent hours digging through the ship graveyard, easily able to fit through the small crevices that the other scavengers couldn't. It was a hard life that she was thrown into at such a young age without any warning but she was conquering it. An older lekku woman named Vao was kind enough to show Rey the ropes of things when she first arrived before her brutal passing. The image of her friend laying in her tent with her clothes gone, bruises covering her body with two slit wrists. They left her to bleed out alone she assumed as blood pooled everywhere. Rey tried to erase that image from her mind but she knew it would be worthless to try. That death, along with the others, would always stick with her. She was the only friend that Rey ever made on this desolate planet. The other scavengers were ruthless pieces of shit. That day she was overwhelmed with such grief and anger that she tracked and located the four men who murdered her friend and took her time repaying the favor. She made sure they suffered tenfold for what they did. She was 11 at the time. There was no room for empathy out in the desert, although she found out the hard way that slaughtering them made her feel no better. That blood would always be on her hands and for what? Justice for her friend perhaps, but none of the people who have passed were coming back. Nobody would be coming to rescue her from this rock. After word spread of what she'd done, nobody ever bothered her again. They feared her, even at a young age, and for good reason. She lost everything except for that rage that burned within her.
Rey handed over the parts she collected and scrubbed from the day to Unkar Plutt; hoping to satisfy her hunger tonight with more than just one serving. She'd developed malnutrition since Unkar generally takes more than he gives. Only a few times was she so desperate she sold her body just to put dinner on the table for one night. Shame would hit her over everything she's done when she was alone with her thoughts, but she told herself she did what she had to do to survive. There was no indignity in that.
"This is worth 2 half portions." He said carelessly gazing at the objects she'd brought while sliding the small bags of rations across the counter. She would take what she could get. She hopped back onto her speeder and maneuvered herself back towards the AT-AT; she never had the nerve to call it home. She etched another line into the wall; there were too many to count nowadays, but it was a nightly ritual she couldn't rid herself of. She prepared her food and slithered outside to watch the sunset. The sunset was the only beautiful thing about this place and she looked forward to it every night. Rey didn't mind being alone, she almost thrived off of it, but when there was nothing to occupy her hands, she was left with only the vicious thoughts that circled like vultures in her head. Even though it's been 10 years since her life changed so drastically, she would still cry herself to sleep every night. She would still wake up from nightmares in a cold sweat; and tonight was no exception. The image that awoke her in screams tonight, like so many other nights, was the vivid sound of her mothers neck snapping in front of her. The faint smile on her face even as her lifeless body lay there. Why me? Rey asked herself as she pulled her knees up and let the agony roll over her in waves until it felt as if she was suffocating. She would've carried on until her eyes were swollen shut if she didn't hear a noise from outside. She straightened at alert, sliding out of bed to palm her staff. She could sense something was out there, something she never had faced before, but she wasn't nervous; just angry that she was interrupted. She made her way to the exit, pouncing out in a defense form.
"Hey, take it easy, I'm not going to hurt you." A woman voice calmly stated behind her. Rey whipped around angling her staff towards the woman she wasn't familiar with.
"Who are you and what do you want? I don't have any food for you I barely have enough for myself." Rey snarled towards this woman standing unflustered and unarmed 10 feet away from her.
"I'm not here to rob you either. My name is Vaylin. I'm apart of the Jedi order." Vaylin stated gesturing to the lightsaber clipped at her hip. Rey relaxed but only slightly. Her mother was a Jedi herself. She'd hear out this Valyin and see what she wanted. Rey nodded for her to continue still in a defensive stance. "The Jedi Knight that I'm traveling with felt a pull to this planet, so I came to investigate. It led me to you. The force is very strong within you." Rey was left with no words. Yes, one her parents were strong Jedi, but she never assumed that she would be special enough to inherit the gift. She never even thought of it. That would explain some of the things that happened to her whenever she felt strong emotions. Her parents never warned her about the signs of the force. They never got the chance to as they were most likely waiting until she was older. "I've come to offer you a place at the Jedi Temple. Or to be evaluated. You're a lot older than most people who would be when entering the program, but there have been exceptions." Vaylin continued. Rey began to hysterically laugh.
"I am no Jedi. I have done terrible things; and how do I know you're not lying about the Jedi Knight? Where are they? How do I know you didn't just kill a Jedi for that lightsaber?" Rey questioned, not believing that she finally has a way off of this trash planet.
"I left him in our ship. He can be a little - much, to say the least, so I came alone. As for the terrible things you say you've done, everyone can come back to the light side from whatever deeds they've committed." Vaylin whispered the last part too softly as if she understood what it was like to feel so low that not even you could have faith in yourself. "I've come here to offer to take you back to Tython. It is your choice if you would like to stay or come." Vaylin locked eyes with her before turning back to the overturned AT-AT. Rey pondered how genuine this offer might be for a while. To live a life as a Jedi or to stay on a planet that reminded her of everything that has ever gone wrong in her life? It truly wasn't even a question to consider. She didn't care where she went as long as she was off this planet. Rey nodded turning back and gathering what little belongings she had.
"Lead the way." Rey declared after examining the inside of her AT-AT for the last time. Taking in the weight of the infinite marks scratched around the interior. She'd never have to carve another one into the wall again. She didn't know how she felt about that. Although she despised this planet with every fiber of her being, she liked to be reminded of her parents. She didn't want to forget them and etching her walls was her way of keeping them in memory. Holding her staff in one hand and the resistance pilot helmet she'd found inside the AT-AT and grown rather attached to in the other, she emerged. A ghost of a smile appeared on Vaylin's face as she nodded and led the way back towards the ship, leaving the only world that Rey knew behind.
A circular type ship came into view. She's never been on a working starship before, never seen space or what planets look like from a satellite point of view. It hit her then, a weightless empty void inside her, that the life that she had been living the past 10 years was barely even considered a life.
"The Millennium Falcon," Vaylin answered the question Rey had forming in her head. She's heard of this ship before; from the stories, she was told as a child. This offer must be genuine. Vaylin led her up the ramp and into the ship. It was mind-boggling to be inside a ship that she wasn't going to be scavenging. They walked until they were in the main hold to where a droid and man were sitting doing paperwork as if awaiting their arrival. Rey was too caught up in observing her surroundings that when the man stood, she leaped back, holding her staff in a defensive position in front of her. The man held up his hands, blank-faced while taking her in.
"This here is Ben Solo. He's the Jedi Knight I mentioned." Vaylin gestured towards him chuckling. She gave Ben a look as if to say you led us here to her now you get to watch her as she made her way towards the cockpit, leaving the two alone. Ben had shoulder length, black raven hair that lined his sharp pale jawline. All of his dark features matched his entire outfit. He was tall and built like a warrior, like a Jedi Knight. Black seemed to be his favorite color.
"Attacking the person that found you seems like an idiotic decision to me," Ben smirked towards the gaunt analyzing face of Rey.
"If you're expecting a thank you, you're mistaken. I was doing just fine before you showed up and would still be fine if you never did." Rey snapped in irritation. The first few years she begged for a savior. She begged for someone to save her from the miserable existence she was thrown into, but that hope died with that girl who struck down four men out of spite. She became her own savior and she'd be damned to let anybody take that title away from her after she survived by herself for so long. Ben paused, still inspecting every inch of her.
"Oh, I see that. Is that why your bones are sticking out of your skin?" Ben mused with a calculating stare. Rey glared back. She would not let somebody who just met her discredit her resilience.
"You know nothing about me or the things I have endured. Don't you dare talk as if you do." Rey retaliated, making to walk away, except that she didn't know where to go, so she made for the opposite of the room. At least her statement shut Ben up for a while. The droid at Bens side seemed to sense the awkward silence, how she will never know, but it began to beep.
"Hello R2. My name is Rey. It's nice to meet you." Rey smiled at the beeping astromech. She'd never met a droid with its own type of quirky personality before but she was thankful it was here between her and Ben.
"You live alone on Jakku but understand the droid? When did you learn the language?" Ben curiously questioned, not looking up at her.
"Like I said, you know nothing about me." Rey snipped, still smiling at the droid. Ben went silent, going back to the reports he was filling out before her arrival. The ship began to shake and ascend. Rey gripped onto the wall she was standing next to, not used to the feeling of being airborne. Ben was watching a holovid but it became a distant sound as she stared towards the window of the escape pod to her left. The planet of Jakku from above made it almost beautiful. All of her surroundings were nonexistent, including Ben demanding to know where she was going, as she walked towards the escape pod, eyes locked on what lies beyond the window. She was jerked from her mesmerization by Ben roughly grabbing her arm.
"You think you're going to take the escape pod off this ship? And go where exactly? Back to Jakku to live a scavengers life?" His voice was so cold, so clipped, that it sent chills down her spine. She tried wrenching her arm out of his grip, but he held firmly. Body of a warrior indeed.
"I was just looking out the window. I've never been in space before. It's just Jakku looks almost appealing from a distance." Rey whispered quietly to herself. Ben didn't reply but he let go of her arm and stayed next to her, peering out the window until they were in hyperspace.
"Everything seems appealing from a distance. You never know the true nature of something until you interact with it yourself; Then the illusion of beauty fades and the reality sets in." Ben mumbled. She would have thought he was responding to her earlier statement if not for the undertone of distance she heard in his voice.
"Hungry? We don't have much on board but it's a step above rations." Ben stated while leading her back into the main hold where Vaylin was seated with a nutrition bar in hand. She nodded as she took a seat next to Vaylin. He left the room for 5 minutes and came back with a pastry and soup.
"I want to know what you did to him to make him share his hoard of smugglers delight with you. I've been asking for one for weeks with no luck." Vaylin snickered as Ben set down the food in front of her. She sniffed it, inspecting it for poison. It smelled heavenly. Force, she didn't care if it was poisoned as she discarded the spoon and guzzled the soup down from the bowl. Vaylin laughed while taking a bite out of her bar.
"I'm glad I brought you soup instead of something solid, or else you'd most likely be throwing up from eating so fast." Ben chimed in, taking a place on the other side of Vaylin with a plate of his own. Rey glared at him before licking the bowl clean. She hadn't tasted anything but rations and bread in years. She felt that empty void again as she realized she wasted the last 10 years of her life missing out on something as simple as the delicacy of cuisine.
"We'll be arriving at the Jedi Temple in a few days time. Do you have any questions before we arrive?" Vaylin glanced over at Rey with a sympathetic look. Rey despised it.
"You said I was to be evaluated. If I'm not accepted will they send me back to Jakku?" Rey asked as confidently as she could. Now that she left, she didn't want to go back. She realized how much of the universe there was to explore and didn't want to be stranded back on that sand planet. Ben answered before Vaylin had a chance to even speak.
"No. Nobody will send you back to that force forsaken dumpster. You're strongly gifted with the force to where I sensed you from hyperspace. They would be stupid to turn you away." He answered with zero doubt in his voice. What did he know about her that she didn't? And how did he sense her if the man that slaughtered her family couldn't? Vaylin cleared her throat.
"No, you will not be sent back. If anything you'll just take the path of a Jedi that serves in the temple than one that goes out to other worlds." Rey almost felt worse by those words. Taken from one planet just to be a slave to another, but regardless she nodded. She took a bite of her pastry and almost melted.
"This is amazing," Rey exclaimed gazing up at Ben. Her taste buds were pulsing with delight. "Thank you." Rey took her time eating the delicate pastry before she realized Ben was smirking at her. She cocked her head, "What?" As his eyes flickered with amusement.
"Looks like I wasn't mistaken." She scowled at him.
Ben led Rey to the crews quarters which had three beds in a small room. One for Ben, one for Vaylin, one for Rey she assumed. Ben and she were to sleep while Vaylin monitored the ship, then Ben would take her place as she rested. Ben opted to crash in the main hold to give Rey space, which she was very thankful for. She didn't want either of them to witness her nightmares. She didn't want them to know she was vulnerable. As expected she awoke in a cold sweat. The sound of her fathers' voice and the last word he ever spoke bounced around her head until it throbbed. She swung herself out of the cot and made her wait to the main hold. Ben looked to be sleeping as she tip toed in for a glass of water. She savored the chill of it gliding down her throat.
"Can't sleep?" She heard from behind her and jumped, water splashing everywhere. She whipped around to see Ben perched up smirking at her soaked self. "Spooked easily, are you?"
"Obviously when someone sneaks up on me I am." She hissed wiping the water droplets that dripped down her face as she stomped back to her room, his laughter echoing behind. She loathed the cocky bastard with the sharp wit. I thought Jedi were supposed to be humble, she thought to herself as she climbed back into her cot. She fell back into a deep slumber within minutes and didn't awaken again.
"We're here. You were out for a while there." Ben loudly stated at the door of the room. She groaned, stretching her entire body before swinging out of the bed and palming her staff. Vaylin and Ben walked side by side while Rey walked behind towards the tallest building she had ever seen. There were three dome-shaped buildings put together into one, statues of past Jedi stood tall and proud, two Jedi banners hanging from above the main entrance. It was exquisite.
"Master Luke." Vaylin bowed, as did Ben. Ben glared back at her as if to say you're not exempt and she too bowed for Luke Skywalker. Luke bowed back as R2 rolled past and went straight to him. He placed his mechanical hand on R2s dome-shaped form.
"Master Vaylin. And hello to you too old friend; it's been a while." R2 beeped in delight. "Who's this?" Luke questioned walking gracefully towards Rey. He was older but still had a hop to his walk. His grey beard and tired blue eyes mixed with hope attested to it. He wore tan Jedi robes, unlike Ben who preferred all black. "The force is very strong with you. I look forward to seeing what you can do. Tomorrow. For now I'd like you to get comfortable and settle in." Rey exhaled the breathe she didn't realize she was holding. Tomorrow. "For now my nephew will show you around. Master Vaylin if you'll please follow me, I'd like to hear the report of this mission as soon as possible." Rey didn't hear anything else after nephew. Ben is Luke Skywalker nephew? It makes sense, she supposed, if he could sense her presence on Jakku from hyperspace. Skywalker blood.
"Come on." Ben sighed as if he wasn't up to the task but didn't have a say in the matter. He led her through the building. He showed her the cafeteria first as if subtly hinting at something. They walked further as he pointed out the meditation rooms, holding a finger up to his lips, as the room was full of young Jedi in training. Next was the Jedi archives, the hanger full of starfighters, lightsaber crafting, the meditation balcony, the dormitories and lastly the combat area. "Let's see what you've got." Ben pivoted on his heel turning to her; challenging her.
"But Master Luke said I didn't have to start till tomorrow." She pleaded, her joints still stiff and in pain from sleeping.
"Where's the fun in that? Just a quick spar session." Ben stated with such an air of authority that she found herself unstrapping the staff from her back. "Weapons? Okay." Ben wickedly smiled as he unclipped his hidden lightsaber hilt from his hip. Rey's mouth went dry.
"That's not fair." She retorted as he clicked the switch and a blue blade thrummed through the air.
"Since when has someone who grew up on Jakku cared about fair? I'll set it to a lower vibration so it won't cut through your precious staff." Ben baited her. She hated that he was right. She wasn't going to give him the pleasure of backing out. She stepped up onto the mat, staff at the ready. She lunged first throwing her full body weight into her swing towards his side as Ben easily sidestepped, deflecting it. What he didn't expect or notice was how stealthily she flung herself behind him and smacked her staff into his legs. The jerk of the unexpected force made him lose grip on his lightsaber falling out of his hands. He whipped around, pure fury and astonishment on his face, as he force grabbed the staff throwing it out of her hands. She was distracted, completely in awe at his display of the force as he sent his fist straight into her stomach. The sound that erupted from her was painful even to her own ears. It sounded as if the life was being sucked out her by the vacuum of space as she crumbled to the floor, the wind completely knocked out of her.
"Not. Fair." Rey hoarsely breathed out as she started to catch her breath.
"You have a lot to learn if you think that everything in life is fair." Ben hissed as he walked over to fill a glass of water. Little did he know, Rey thought to herself. He downed it in one swift gulp. He filled up another cup, offering it to her. "It was a short fight. You landed a shot on me though, which is farther than most of the people here have ever gotten. Where'd you learn to fight like that?" She slowly picked herself up off the floor and limped over to Ben. She snatched the water from his hand and greedily chugged it down.
"The other scavengers on Jakku aren't friendly so I learned to fight. Since I was smaller than them I relied on sneak attacks." Her voice more sharp than she intended. He nodded as if he understood and didn't ask her any more questions. "A rematch. Not today but soon; I want a rematch." Ben smiled.
"I'd love another opportunity to kick your ass." She rolled her eyes at him while heading out of the room following him. "Let's get some dinner." As Ben lead the way to the cafeteria, everyone she passed was ogling at them.
"Why are they looking at us?" Rey asked uncomfortably. She wasn't someone who enjoyed the attention being on her.
"Don't worry. They're not looking at you" Ben said as if he could feel her anxiety, "They're looking at me. I'm Luke's prodigy so it's for good reason." The Skywalker blood ran through his veins. It must be a curse and a blessing wrapped into one. She couldn't begin to fathom the pressure he must be under all the time. Rey stacked her plate full of breakfast sandwiches and pastries. "You do know it's dinner, right?" Ben peered over his shoulder to look at her plate.
"Food is food." Is all she replied with as he led her to an empty table. "Do you not have friends here?" Ben glared at Rey with a flick of annoyance in his eyes.
"Yes, but they aren't on this planet as they are Jedi Knights." He replied coldly. That clipped tone coming back out of nowhere. Rey said nothing else as she hastily ate her sandwich and savored the pastries; Although nothing compared to the smuggler's delight. She observed the other people in the dining hall taking it all in. There were only a handful of children here. The rest were around her age and they were all staring at her. She hoped none of them tried to talk or befriend her. She wasn't used to people yet. She didn't know if she ever would be. As if Ben could sense her unease, he turned towards the group of teens and bared his teeth. They didn't dare glance her way again.
After discarding their plates, Ben led her up the flight of stairs to the living quarters.
"There aren't any rooms left in the dormitories so you're meant to stay in a room next to Skywalker and I's room. It was my spare room as I enjoy shopping for myself while out on other worlds. Feel free to use any of it but handle it with care or I'll run you through myself." That does not sound like the Jedi way, but Rey didn't say anything. Ben led her towards a room with a canopy bed in the middle, a desk in the corner piled with books, a fully stocked closet. The stack of books and trinkets beyond the desks are what really dumbfounded her. There was a washroom to the right as well. "It's crowded with my shit but it's a hell of a lot better than the dormitories; Plus the curious students can't bother you since this area is off limits to everyone but Skywalker and I. I think you should give the refresher a go. You really need it." She breathed a sigh of relief but also wanted to punch him, but as she glanced in the mirror and witnessed herself the dirt covering her, she obliged. She nodded her thanks and closed the door behind her. She stripped off her scavenger clothing, undoing each of her buns and slipped into the shower. It was like a warm rainfall she's never experienced. She couldn't remember the last time that she took an actual shower. There was a strange device on the wall of the shower with buttons. She pressed one and a liquid that smelt divine shot out. Soap. There was the option of Mint, Lavender, Coconut, and Roses. She used the mint to scrub the debris out of her hair and the roses as a body wash. As she stepped out and towel dried herself off, her eyes stopped at herself in the mirror. Ben wasn't lying when he said her bones were sticking out of her body. Her collarbones jutted out and she could count each of her ribs easily. Jakku really did a number on her. Moreso Unkar Plutt. She ripped her attention away from her reflection towards the Jedi robes that lay across her bed. Her bed. Her room. This was her life now. Ben must've picked out her clothes for her as they were all black. She turned towards the closet in the left corner and sifted through them. As she expected, all the clothes were dark colored. She slipped on an oversized black shirt and a pair of long shorts that almost reached her ankles. Ben was indeed tall. Making her way to the bed, she paused as she spotted the sunset through the window. It was a sunset that would put Jakku's to shame.
She tiptoed out of her room and made her way to the balcony that only her, Luke Skywalker and Ben Solo had access to. She didn't know where to look. All the green in the forest was just as magnificent as the cotton candy sky. She felt something deep inside herself crack at that moment. As if that young 10-year-old girl was trying to get through to her. That hopefulness that she left behind. It was naive of her but she let herself fantasize. Maybe this would be the place that she finally would be able to call home. Maybe she could have a family again. A genuine smile cracked upon her face at the thought. She wasn't alone anymore. She stayed perched on the edge of the balcony until the sky was illuminated by stars.
"Beautiful isn't it?" Luke Skywalker came from behind her and leaned against the opposite side of the balcony. She didn't know how long he had been standing behind her. "I come here to watch the sunset every night. I think the first Jedi built this balcony for that exact reason."
"I'm sorry to invade your spot. It'll never happen again." Rey spat out the words feeling as if she invaded someone's privacy.
"Do not apologize. Please come here as often as you'd like. It seems that us people who grew up on Desert planets are always attracted to the sunset. I like to think it's because the planet is so desolate and devoid of color until the sky lights up with a whole new palette that we rarely see." Rey nodded her head in complete agreement as that is how she felt every night eating dinner alone watching the sky turn black.
"What planet did you grow up on, Master Luke, if you don't mind me asking?" Rey hesitantly but politely asked.
"No need for the formality in private. Just call me Luke. I grew up on Tatooine on a Moisture Farm. I was well cared for; unlike you." Rey smile began to fade at that. "Do not be ashamed. Vaylin mentioned to me that you believe that you cannot walk the path of a Jedi because of your past decisions. My own father was a Sith Lord. He slaughtered innocent children and yet in his last moments in my arms he came back to the light. Nobody is beyond redemption, Rey. You'd do well to remember that." Luke smiled at her before retreating back inside. Rey sat there longer pondering what he had said. She might not be beyond redemption but the guilt from the blood on her hands, innocent or not, would weigh heavy on her for the rest of her life. The moon was high in the sky by the time that Rey finally decided to turn in. Before she slipped into her bed, she dug through the desk in her room to find a pen and paper. She made one notch on it as if it were the AT-AT wall. Old habits die hard. A soft moan escaped her lips as she settled herself into bed. This bed felt like she was sleeping on a cloud compared to her hammock in the AT-AT. When was the last time she laid in an actual bed? She fanned out her entire body enjoying the space. Even if she didn't get accepted into the Jedi Academy to become a Jedi Knight, she could get used to living with the basic necessities. A home. A family. She let those thoughts comfort her as she drifted off into a deep slumber.