August 26, 2016 New York Institute
Nick found himself floating in darkness. It was an odd feeling, one of complete freedom, yet he somehow still felt shackled. He began to fight against the shackles that seemed to hold him, Nick lets out a growl of frustration 'Release me, from these shackles!' He bellowed.
Nick began thrashed around underneath the sheets.
'It was you who confined yourself to these shackles. Only you can set yourself free. I cannot help you if you won't help yourself' His father told him.
"Nick, wake up. You're having a nightmare" Said Alec as he approached the young man.
'How am I suppose to do that?' Nick said struggling profusely as the shackles tightened their hold on him. He couldn't escape.
'The moment you can visualize being free from the things that hold you back. You cannot become what you want to be by remaining what you are. Only then can you truly be free to be yourself and become the legend you were born to be'.
"Nick! Nick! Nick!" Alec shouted his name with panicked urgency.
Nick awoke with a start. His breathing was getting heavier and heavier, his hands were trembling as tears began to spill down his cheeks. It was then he realized that he was having a panic attack.
"Nick" Alec's voice was now softer and almost soothing. "I need you to calm down".
Nick was now gasping for air as he cried hunched over.
Alec didn't know what to do. He had to trust his instinct to guide him as he got on top of the bed and pulled Nick against his chest "I got you. You're okay. It was just a nightmare" He reassured.
After a while Nick calmed down a little, taking control of his breathing as his headed rested on Alec's chest. "You have no idea" He exhales.
"Are you okay?".
"I'll be fine" Nick told him.
Alec relaxed, feeling genuinely relieved as he pulled away from Nick "Good, I'm glad. Uh-do you-um do you want to talk about it? It must have been one hell of a nightmare".
Nick manoeuvred himself out of Alec's lap and swung his legs over the side of the bed "Thank you, for the offer. But, I'd rather not" He sighed staring down at the floor. "Uh Alec do you have some clothes I could borrow? I would nip home, but what with how things are right now. It wouldn't be wise".
"No problem. You should go shower. I'll go grab you some clothes" He told Nick and left.
Alec went to his room and picked out some random clothes. And then sent Isabelle to Nick's place to pick him up some clothes whilst his sister and mother were at work.
When Alec came back into the room with a handful of clothes. He sets them down on the bed "I've sent Izzy to go to your place for clothes whilst your mother and sister are at work".
"Oh my god! You're joking right, Isabelle doesn't have any boundaries. She'll be rifling through my underwear draw!" He moaned.
Alec felt a smirk pull at his lips and left.
After a lengthy shower to sooth his achy and stiff muscles. Nick looked through the clothes Alec had left him. He decided upon wearing the slim black military jacket with a white t-shirt and a pair of cuffed black trousers and an old pair of Jace's sneakers.
Nick was dreading about the conversation he was going to end up having with Izzy. There was no way that she wasn't going to bring up his draw full of women's lingerie or about his closet that has an arrange of designer women's clothes and heels. Nick liked to switch between genders although he did prefer to spend most of his time as a male. He could pull either gender off without anyone being the wiser to the fact that he was born a Hermaphrodite which apparently wasn't all that rare when it came to demigods.
Nick was in his bedroom sitting down to breakfast when Isabelle returned with a saucy look on her face "You and I need to have a talk" She opened a bag and held up a pair of black lace underwear and a matching AA cup size bra to go with it.
Nick began choking on his cereal as he set the bowl to one side and stood up snatching his underwear and bra out of Isabelle's hand. "Fine close the door and you will not breathe a word to this to the boys especially not Alec understand".
Isabelle nodded as set the bag of clothes down and took a seat down on the edge of Nick's bed and patted a space down beside her. "So, are you really a girl or a boy?" She asked genuinely curious.
Nick took a seat and took in a deep breath as he looked down at his lap and fidgeted unsure how to go about this "I'm both. I was born a Hermaphrodite which basically means I have both male and female sex organs. As a child I was raised as a male and when I went to high school I was curious and switched genders since I can pull either gender off without anyone being the wiser. I met Simon and Clary when I was female, which is why they call me Nicky. However, when I left America and went to London for three years I switched back to being male and found that I preferred this gender. No offence".
"None taken, so that's what Clary meant at the City of Bones when she referred to you as her brother slash sister" She smiled sweetly at Nick and placed her arm around his shoulder "So...I hope you don't mind, but I borrowed some of your clothes".
Nick chuckled "You might as well since I'm not wearing them at the moment. You never know there might come a time where I'll borrow some of yours".
"Well you're more than welcome, Nicky".
Nick smiled "You know I was dreading having this talk with you. But I'm glad we had it".
"Me too" Said Isabelle.
Later
Nick was in the training room when he overheard Simon and Clary arguing.
'What now?'
He jogged over to them "What's going on now? And Si where do you think you're going?".
"I already told Isabelle and Clary, they can't keep me prisoner here".
"Calm down, would you. Don't you think you're being a tad dramatic? You're not a prisoner here. If you were you would be in a holding cell down in the basement. You're under our protection. If you leave we cannot protect you from what's out there. You're in this too deep. I warned you little brother not to involve yourself. If you leave now, you're not only putting yourself at risk, but everyone else you care about especially Clary. You're leverage Si".
"I'm going home, Nicky. And if you haven't already completely drunk their Kool-Aid, then you're coming with me. Your sister and mom haven't stopped texting me. They're worried about you. You haven't been home in nearly a week or bothered to lift up the phone to check in. Haven't you punished them enough?".
Nick froze as rage coiled in the pit of his stomach. Every muscle in his body locked as his eyes turned cold and his face became void of emotion. Nick lost it and shoved Simon as hard as he got onto the ground "I'm the one that's being punished mundane! This life protecting mundanes and hunting down demons…there's no joy in it. There's nothing but pain, horror and death. Do you think I wanted this? If I could lead a normal life and just close my eyes to all of this don't you think I would?" He bellowed clenching his fists as he advanced on Simon.
Jace who had just left the elevator overhearing the commotion stood between Nick and Simon who scurried away from him.
Nick was damn right scary as he continued "I can't run from who or what I am. Unlike you, Simon I have responsibilities! I am in service to a greater cause than myself! Without the Shadowhunters and our Downworlder allies this world would have gone to hell in a hand basket a long time ago".
"Nick, calm down right now" Jace placed a hand down on Nick's shoulder.
Nick looked murderous as he glanced at Jace hand and then back at Jace "Don't touch me!" He yelled and shoved Jace up against the wall with brute force. His pupils dilated causing him to have a mini black sclera as his senses became over-stimulation. His body instinctively went into survival mode. He was breathing heavily as he tried to get himself under control.
Clary moved forward "Hey, what is your problem?!"
"Clary don't" Jace told her calmly "he will hurt you. Whatever is happening to him. He's not in control right now" He didn't struggle as he raised his palms in the air showing Nick that he wasn't a threat to him. "Nick, I'm not going to hurt you. Your part of this team. You're one of us, remember. Calm down and let me go" He said in a firm tone of voice.
Nick shook his head as he managed to snap himself back under control and let Jace go. He took a step back to put some distance in between them and said, "Don't follow me" before storming off into the elevator.
Nick retreated back to his room and began tearing apart the room. He began to shake so violently in his mind he visualize the shackles glowing red and cracking from the heat of his rage. Then, without out warning he doubled and clenched his teeth to stop himself from screaming. His legs buckled and he collapsed down onto the floor curling up in a fetal position. He squeezed his eyes shut and tried to dissociate from the pain as some of the runes on his body discoloured giving the appearance of nasty bruises.
'Grow stronger from the pain, don't let it destroy you. What hurts you today will make you stronger tomorrow, my child' Hades told his son.
Once the pain eventually ebbed away. He lays on the ground unmoving as his chest heaved.
"That's easy for you to say, father" Nick said out loud.
Nick didn't know how long he had just laid there before he forced himself into an upright position and rose from the ground. He hissed in pain wrapping his arms around his torso as he crawled up onto the bed and laid down staring up at the ceiling.
Later
Nick's door was closed when Isabelle, Hodge and Alec arrived at the door was closed.
Isabelle knocked the door and asked softly "Hey Nicky, it's Isabelle. Jace and Clary told us what happened between you and Simon. Are you okay?".
When the Shadowhunters didn't hear a response Alec's concern rose "Nick, we're coming in" He announced before opening the door and stepping inside.
The room was in complete disarray and they found Nick was sprawled out on the bed.
"Wow" Isabelle looked around the room in disbelief "Nick, you seriously need to get laid pronto or slay some demons or you could do both in order to redirect your energy and work off your pent-up aggression. I'm off course happy to help" She offered.
"He's awakening, Isabelle. The uncontrolled rage is just a side-effect. The last thing anyone wants to do is provoke Nick right now. I'm surprised that he didn't tear his mundie friend or Jace limb from limb. This-" Hodge gestured the destroyed room "Is nothing compared to the stories I've heard".
Alec questioned "Will he be okay?" He noticed that some of the runes were now the colour of bruises whilst the rest are vivid and crimson red.
"Nick will be fine. He just needs to rest for a couple of hours to regain his strength. Just keep an eye on him. I need to report back to the Clave. They will want to be informed" Hodge said before leaving Nick's room.
"Nick" Alec called out his name hoping to get the younger man to respond to him.
"Go away".
"There's a meeting on-" Alec tried again.
"I don't care" He rasped out.
Alec frowned and approached Nick hesitantly "Is there anything I can do?".
Again, no response.
"I just want to be left alone alright. The last thing I want right now is to hurt you or anyone else for that matter. I'm just like him-" He said angrily.
"Like who?" Alec prompted.
"I don't want to talk about it!" Nick shot to his feet "Get out!" He screamed causing the lights in his room and corridor to flicker.
"Easy there hombre".
"Okay, Nick" Alec soothed holding up his hands in a placating manner as he stood up and manoeuvred himself and Isabella back towards the door "We'll give you some space and I'll check on you again in a bit and fill you in after the meeting".
As soon as they reached the door, and stepped outside it. Nick slammed it in their faces as he limped back to bed.
Later
Alec appeared in Nick's room. The younger man seemed to be in a better mood this time. He was sitting on top of the bed reading the Shadowhunter's Codex, the one and only manual for potential ascenders and newbie Shadowhunters looking to brush up on their demon languages, learn proper stele use, and discover just what exactly a pyxis is.
"Hey, we have a new lead on the Mortal Cup. We think Magnus Bane one of the most powerful warlocks I've ever known is the key to unlocking Clary's memories. Valentine is also searching for the warlock, who helped Clary's mother. There's a Downworld rave tonight and we think Magnus will be there. From what I'd heard, Magnus likes to party".
"He'll never go for it. Not with Valentine trying to kill him" Replied Nick dismissively.
"He'll blend in. Hide in plain sight. If Magnus is coming out of hiding, he's going to one of the biggest parties of the year. So, are you in?" Alec asked.
Nick set the book down "Do you even have to ask? Of course I'm in" He stood up "Alright, angel face. I need to get ready…unless you'd let to stay and see the show?" He said flashing his smile in a suggestive manner.
"I Uh, I, um I have to" He turned his head "Find Jace" He lied and dashed out of the room.
Nick rolled his eyes "I do love a challenge" He purred and rummaged through the bag of clothes that Isabelle had brought back with her earlier.
He decided upon wearing a pair of black leather jeans that hung snugly just below his hips. A black double-breasted gothic military style short jacket that he left open to reveal his toned runed torso. Then, he decided on wearing a pair of stylish black Chelsea boots.
Afterwards he went to go find Isabelle who applied his make up. By the time she was finished with Nick. His lips were kissable with a smidgen of lip gloss and his eyes were irresistible with black glittery eyeliner that gave cat flick eyes.
"What do you think gals?" He asked.
"Smoking hot, you're certainly going to attract attention at the Downworlder rave" Isabelle said circling him.
"You always look handsome and breath-takingly beautiful in everything you wear, Nicky" Clary said peeking out from behind the screen.
"I can't wait to see Alec's face when he sees you. If you don't stir his loins nothing will".
Nick couldn't help, but blush.
Clary finally stepped out of the screen wearing some of Isabelle's clothes.
Nick wolf whistled "Little red is certainly going to be stirring something in Jace's loins. I wouldn't be surprised if he walked in here and shagged you senseless".
"Nicky!" Squeaked Clary.
"Nicky has a point. You clean up well, Clary. You and Nicky are so lucky to have such flat chests. I could never wear that without a bra" She giggles.
Nick rolled his eyes.
Jace walked in "Someone's looking badass".
"Oh, thanks" Clary chuckles.
"I'm gonna go see Alec. He never knows what to wear to these parties either".
"I'll go with you" Nick links arms with Isabelle and turns to Jace "Don't do anything we wouldn't do, pretty boy" He teases and turns to Clary and winks mischievous "Oh and have fun".
Isabelle giggles "You're terrible, Nicky".
When they got to Alec's room.
Alec was speechless for an embarrassingly long time. Much to Nick and Isabelle's amusement, the man was staring at him with wide, stunned eyes. Nick couldn't help feel a bit smug to know that he had caused Alec to have this reaction.
"What do you think, Alec?" He purred his name in a sensual manner that made Alec involuntarily shiver.
"I...Um…" Alec's eyes roamed over Nick's body "You look fine".
Isabelle raised a perfect eyebrow "He looks fine. Is that it? Alec are you blind?".
Nick shook his head and chuckled lightly "Come on, Izzy. We should let Alec go and get ready".
"What? I am ready?" Replied Alec looking down at himself.
Nick licked his lips eyeing Alec "So you are, and so am I" He said in a suggestive tone and winked.
Isabelle's almost choked on her own spit and watched him strode off.
She shook her head "Nicky's quite the feisty little minx. Don't you think so Alec" She said before following Nick out.
Afterwards
Nick headed for the training room to collect his beloved dagger when he got there Alec and Isabelle where already there. He managed to catch the tail end of their conversation.
"You can't keep bottling things up, Alec. It's only a matter of time before they explode. And not the fun kind of explode".
"What's this, I hear about exploding?".
"No one's exploding" Alec put down his arrow and sighs "C'mon then, let's go".