August 27th, 2016: 12pm Magnus Loft, Prospect Heights in Brooklyn.
Nick stretched in the king size bed and slowly opened his eyes. His memories from last night were foggy. He must have blacked out after assisting Magnus confide the greater demon.
He sat upright and looked around his new surroundings. He looked down at himself noticing that his jacket was missing. He froze and rubbed a face over his face knowing what Magnus had seen. He flung the covers back and rummaged through Magnus closet for a change of clothes. He threw on a pair of black jogger bottoms and a black sleeveless hoodie that Nick assumed that Magnus wore when training.
He tied up his hair and pocketed his ebony dagger and headed downstairs barefoot "Hey, Magnus" He greeted sounding tired.
Magnus turned around with a smile "Good morning, Nicholas. Are those my clothes?" He enquired knowingly.
Nick rubbed the back of his head with a sheepish look "Yeah, sorry I hope you don't mind. I should have asked first".
Magnus waved his hand dismissively "I don't mind. They suit you" He strolled over with a cup that had smoke billowing out "Here drink this. It should help with your magic. You're going to have to learn how to not only harness it but control it. Fortunately, I'm available to mentor you, I'm sure we can work out the price later for my services". He handed the cup to Nick who knocked back the strange concoction back.
He felt a warm sensation spread through him. Whatever the potion did it woke him right up. He felt re-energized and ready to get on with the day.
"Thanks, but I really should be getting back to the institute" He handed the cup back to the warlock "I don't think those boys can handle little red all on they own. She's a fiery one and stubborn too, just like her mother" He told Magnus and made towards the door.
"Stay for breakfast" Magnus blurted out "I make a mean Belgium waffle".
Nick's stomach grumbled at the mention of food. It was one of his biggest weakness "Damn, who told you my weak spot. I love waffles and pancakes. They're my favourite. I suppose... I can stay for a little while longer"
Magnus escorted Nick to the kitchen and Nick plopped himself down in the nearest seat as Magnus snapped his fingers with a plate of Belgium waffle that smelt heavenly.
Nick inhaled deeply "Oh my god, those smell amazing".
Magnus preened at the compliment and set the plate down on the table and to a seat facing Nick.
Nick reached out with a plate and dug his fork into waffles pulling a load onto his plate.
"So, Nicholas. I couldn't help notice when I removed your jacket that there were scars-" He began.
"It's nothing" Replied Nicholas as he placed a fork full of waffle into his mouth
"I don't think this is just nothing. This is serious, Nicholas."
"They're just battle scars, Magnus" Nick said wiping his face with a napkin.
"Nicholas, don't lie, I'm old enough to differentiate between a battle wound and that" Nicholas diverted his eyes to the floor his face burned with shame.
"Nicholas, look at me." His face expressed worry and understanding.
Nick did as he said, but he didn't say a word.
"Why?" Magnus' voice was breaking, but he was controlling himself.
"I- I'm sorry, Magnus... I just... I-" His eyes began pure black once more and glistened with tears.
"Hey, calm down. It's okay, darling" Magnus reached out and lightly caressed Nick's face "Do you want to talk about it?" He really wanted to help Nick, but he didn't want to press him.
"There's nothing to talk about"
"You know that's not true, Nicholas. I'm worried about you, I understand what you're going through." He said pulling up his own sleeve and took off his glamours revealing his scarred wrists to Nick.
Nick's eyes widened as he stood up and walked around the table and knelt down next to Magnus. He gently grabbed hold of Magnus' wrist and whispered "Why?".
Nick looking up at Magnus with so much earnest and gentle care that it's easy to believe he'll be understanding and lets out a heavily sigh "It was the anniversary of my mother's suicide. I… I hadn't been doing well. I was still with Camille," he adds, for as much as she'd saved him that night, she'd also been part of the reason, "and I despised myself. For what I did to my mother."
"Hey, what is?" He asked genuinely curious with not an ounce of judgement in his voice.
"My mother killed herself for giving birth to a monster" He admitted out loud it made Magnus feel more vulnerable, somehow as he went on "I couldn't help, but blame myself. So, I did something drastic. Well, tried. It was Camille who stopped me, in the end."
"I'm glad she did," Nick mutters. "I'm… I'm so glad you're alive, Magnus".
Magnus smiles. It feels strange to talk about these things with someone. He hadn't done so in such a long time. But looking at Nick, he feels as though he could share just about anything with the other man and it would be well-received with kindness and understanding. "You too," Magnus replies. "I'm glad you're alive, too."
Nick frowned and gave Magnus knee a small squeeze as he stood up "I suppose since you shared that it's only fair that I do, too. I don't know why, but I trust you, Magnus. However, can we talk about this after we've eaten".
"Of course," Magnus tells him.
After Nick and Magnus had eaten. Nick moved into the living room and sat down.
Magnus sat down next to him and drew small circles on the back of his hand to sooth him.
Nick curled his feet and snuggled up next to Magnus on the sofa "I'm not sure where to begin".
"The best place to start is at the beginning" Magnus told him as he placed an arm around his shoulder pulling him closer.
Nick let out a shaky breath "Okay, so, Richard, my step-father, Emma's father. He made my childhood a misery. He knew I wasn't his son. I don't know how he knew, but he did and made sure I know that I was an unwanted bastard. He was a doting father to my half sister, Emma and a loving husband to my mother when he was drunk. But, to me he was a tyrant and a bully. He would use any excuse to punish me. To beat me" He let out a choked sob as pressed his eyes shut,
Magnus closed his eyes in a quiet sigh, eyebrows knotted together in sorrow. "I'm sorry, darling."
"There's nothing for you to apologize for. Besides, it's in the past" He gasped between breaths, and swallowed hard.
Magnus shook his head, "Still, you never should have had to go through that."
"No one should" Collecting himself he turned to Magnus, biting his lower lip. "Did you know that I'm a Hermaphrodite" He questioned.
Magnus wiped the tears the rolled down Nick's cheeks "I suspected as much when I asked Isabelle whether Alec was more of a flower or cologne man. Isabelle admitted that she didn't know that the young Shadowhunter was almost impossible to shop for, but mentioned that she knew you liked both and had a taste for chocolate and sexy lingerie".
Nick's face burned red "That's the last time I engage in girl talk with Isabelle" He shook his head "Anyway, I was raised as a boy until high school. I was curious and decided to switch genders. It's why Clary and Simon refer to me as Nicky because I met them when I was a girl. And let's just say he didn't approve of my choice and from then onwards referred to me as an abomination, a freak of nature and told me that I was the reason that his marriage was falling apart because he couldn't stand knowing that my mother gave birth to a monster and I believed him" He admitted in a hollow voice.
"Darling, you know that isn't true. Hermaphrodites aren't as rare as you think in the Shadow World. You have the best of both worlds. You could certainly pull off either gender and no one would be the wiser. You're not any of those things that he called you. You're very handsome as Nicholas and I have no doubt that you'd be incredibly beautiful as Nicole" He reassured.
Nick smiled lightly and spoke again, eyes fixed on their hands "When I turned eighteen my mother whilst in a drunken stupor had unintentionally blurted out the truth about my father and heritage as a Demigod. I had felt so betrayed because I had gained the sight a few weeks before my eighteen birthday. I genuinely thought that I was going mad. I saw demons wearing human disguises and angels riddled with scars. I was so afraid of being locked up in a mental institute. That I never told anyone and started taking anti-psychotics in secret"
Magnus frowned and pulled onto his lap and wrapped his arms around his waist as Nick buried his face in Magnus neck and nuzzled breathing in Magnus scent as he spoke again "But, it only got worse when one day I started hearing a voice in my head that wasn't my own. It turns out that it was Hades, my father who was trying to contact me. At one point he even considered suicide. So, that night, I booked a one-way ticket to London to get as far away from my deceitful mother and abusive step-father as possible. The next morning I was gone leaving behind a note on the kitchen table. It wasn't until a year later that I reached out to my sister and re-established contact my mother when she divorced" He sighed pained "I didn't want Clary to have to find out the hard-way like I did. When I found out the Clary was starting to see through the layers of reality and find out about the Shadow World. I warned Jocelyn and Luke that little red would eventually find out on her own if they didn't. Telling lies to protect someone you love only destroys them in the end. And look what happened. Clary was fortunate that she had someone there for her so that she didn't have to go through this who self discovery process alone".
"Well, now you have me, you can call me whenever you feel like hurting yourself and I'll try to help" He said softly and tucked a stray strand of hair behind Nick's ear "Can I see them?" He asked.
Nick's breath hitched at his request "My scars?".
Magnus nodded "Only if you want too".
Nick bit his lip and then nodded after a long moment complementing. He stood up and turned his back to Magnus as he pulled off the hoodie revealing his back littered with criss-cross scars. He began to tremble as more tears ran down his face.
A chill ran through Magnus as he silently stood up and inhaled sharply at the damage he saw. Enraged Magnus swore he'd find Nick's step-father, and make him feel the same pain that Nick had as a child.
He reached out and tenderly place a hand on his shoulder and turned Nick around "Look at me" He ordered in a gentle yet firm tone.
Nick opened his eyes and looked into Magnus'. Magnus had let the glamours down, so he was staring straight at his real eyes, and all he could see was worry and sadness and love. He could see love in Magnus' eyes. Love directed to him. Love Magnus felt for him. Someone did love him. Magnus loved him.
"You never have to hide your pain not from me. You're scars don't make you any less beautiful than what you already are. None of your scars could ever make me love you any less. Never be ashamed of them. Your scars are merely a testament of your strength. A reminder of times when someone tried to break and failed, darling".
Magnus could see some light return to his dark eyes. "I love you, too," He said softly and quickly blushed when he realized what he had said, and Magnus couldn't help, but laugh. "I meant what I said. I do love you, my beautiful chimera" He said, the love shining in his eyes. Cupping Nick's cheek gently he kissed him, and Nick melted into it.
Nick kissed the dark hair warlock back whilst holding Magnus shirt in big handfuls. Words were worthless now, actions were needed.
Breaking the kiss before it got heated Nick looked at Magnus, who was already watching him with love and admiring in his eyes. "We should stop before we rush into things".
Magnus nodded in agreement "Please just hold me." Nick whispered. Leaning forward Magnus hugged Nick tightly to his chest, feeling Nick crumble in his arms as they laid down on the couch. Together.
"Oh, and just so you know I'll have to do a random and complete search for my peace of mind" Magnus winked.
"Full body search?" Nick asked looking up at Magnus feeling hopeful, knowing that he was going to be there for him.
"Yes, no clothes on, sorry, I'm just fulfilling my job" Magnus cuddled next to him.
"Well, I guess I'll just have to cooperate" Nick laughed as the tears finally stopped.
"Tell me if things ever get that bad again. I don't want you to push me away. We can do this together" He kissed Nick on the forehead and Nick felt better, Magnus loved him and accepted him "No matter what, we're in this together" He promised.
"And Alec?" He questioned.
Magnus chuckled "I take it that you do not mind then if I wish to pursue Alexander as well?".
"Nope, in fact I would encourage you to. You've obvious got more experience when it comes to relationships, than I do. You have a better chance at winning angel face over than I do".
"You've had relationships before?".
"Not many, but a few. None of them ever worked out though. They don't have such an open heart as you do".
"They're lost. They have no idea what they're missing, my little marshmallow".