Volume 1 (Technically Season 1), Chapter 2: The Beaming Gleaming Glowing Glimmering Sparkling Twinkling Glittering Glistening Shimmering Coruscate Shining Beacon, pt 1
Disclaimer: I do not own RWBY, and you better be glad I don't.
A/N: Wow, this story blew up (In a good way) faster than I expected. It even got more favorites, follows, and reviews in a 24 hour time span than my other stories did in the same amount of time. With that said, here's chapter 2. I originally wanted it in one whole part instead of two like in the show, but I got finished faster than I expected, and decided to post half of it early
Whelp, here we are in chapter 2 Salem.
"..."
Salem?
"Don't talk to me"
What did I do?
"What did you do? You know very well what you did to me!"
Oh, the dick and balls.
"How can you say it so calmly like it's no big deal!?"
Because it's not MY problem. It's yours.
"Yes, but YOU caused my problem! The worse part is that my new "package" is unnecessarily big, like...ridiculously hentai comic big"
I think you mean re-dick-ulously hentai comic big. *Cue Trollface*
"SHUT UP! I can't even THINK about Cinder without my...meat cylinder getting stiff! Her nice, firm, tight ass...DAMN IT, THERE I GO AGAIN!
Well I feel uncomfortable. Why don't we move on with the story?
"Yes, please"
Our story opens up with the Airship Ruby and Yang were on docking into bay. After docking, Ruby, Yang, and the shadow people start walking down a path towards Beacon Academy. Just before the two sisters actually got to the main part of Beacon, they stopped and stared at the building in wonderment, while everyone left them behind.
"Wowwwwww" both sisters said in amazement, even though most of Beacon wasn't detailed due to Rooster Teeth's animation budget.
"The view from Vale's got nothing on this" Yang commented.
"I thought the view from under my skirt had nothing on anything" Ruby derided.
"Oh, don't worry about that sis. The view under your skirt is the best" the blonde teased.
"Oh you" the darkly dressed girl replied before gasping at the sight of a shadow student carrying a weapon. "Sis, that kid has a collapsible staff! I wonder how far it'll go in my vagina" Ruby said that last sentence as if she were a wild animal, or Grimm.
"Woah, Ruby. I thought you were loyal to Crescent Rose. Aren't you happy with her?" Yang questioned.
"Of course I'm happy with Crescent Rose. But sometimes I wonder what another weapon would feel like inside of me" Ruby answered.
"There's nothing wrong with wondering as long as you don't go through with it" Yang advised, referring to Ruby's relationship with Crescent Rose, and the relationship between both sisters. "By the way, have you thought about making some friends?"
"Why would I need friends when I have you?" the black haired girl asked back.
"That's sweet Ruby, but everyone needs at least one friend besides the person their in a relationship with. Especially if that person is their sister"
"Aw man" Ruby whined.
"Hey Yang!" some random shadow person shouted from a group of three others.
"Huh? Who are you guys?" Goldilocks inquired.
"Don't you remember us? We're your old friends from...uh...somewhere" another shadow person informed Yang.
"Sorry, none of my old friends are shadow people" Yang told the silhouetted people.
"Oh" all four shadows sighed in defeat.
"Although, I'm not against to making new friends. Let's hang!" the blonde decided.
"Yay!" the shaded people shouted in happiness before running off with Yang.
"What!? Yang! What about me!?" Ruby yelled out to her sister. With no sign of seeing her incestual sibling stopping anytime soon, Ruby decided to fall backwards in defeat. Unknowingly, she landed on a silver bell cart, and sent white suitcases sprawling everywhere.
"Like, what are you doing!?" an angry sounding Valley Girl shouted at Ruby.
"Oh, sorry. I just fell backwards in defeat, that's all" Ruby explained to the other girl.
"Sorry? Like, do you have any idea of the damage you could've caused!" the girl continued to shout.
"I said I was sorry. Are you on your period or something?" Ms. Rose questioned.
"Like, if I was, I totally wouldn't be wearing all white" the white dressed girl answered.
"Even your panties?" Ruby continued to question.
"Ugh, like, why would you wanna know that!? Are you some kind of pervert!?" the pale girl assumed.
"No...maybe...somewhat...yes. But only for weapons! I honestly didn't mean to seem perverted when I asked you if your panties were white" the black haired girl explained.
"Like, okay"
"By the way, do you have sex with your weapon?"
"Like, what!?"
"I said, do you have sex with your wea-"
"Like yuck! No! What is wrong with you, you sick little girl!?"
"Sick little girl?"
"Yes! Like, what are you even doing here? Someone as young and perverted as yourself shouldn't be attending Beacon!" the white haired girl harshly ridiculed.
"I was personally invited here by Ozpin" Ruby answered.
"Ozpin? Like, as in headmaster Ozpin? Why would he let someone like YOU in Beacon Academy?" the snobby girl pressed.
"I dunno. He also said that I have Silver Eyes which won't be important until the end of Volume 3-"
Season 3.
"I'm sorry, Season 3" Ruby corrected.
"You know what? I totally don't even care anymore. You're going to make me late for the assembly" the valley girl dismissed. "And pick up this mess man servants"
"Yes ma'am" two men dressed in suits begrudgingly replied simultaneously.
"Man, working for a rich snobby family sucks Salem dick" one servant whispered.
"Would you be quiet? Salem and her legendary dick are just fairy-tales" the other whispered back.
"Wow, man servants. You must be-"
Before Ruby could finish her sentence, the all white dressed girl walked away.
"Sigh" the silver eyed girl sighed. "And I'm still laying on the ground"
"What are you doing? Meow meow" a calm voice asked.
"No, you didn't"
I did :)
"It's bad enough you made Weiss talk like a Valley Girl, now your making Blake say meow in every sentence?"
I originally wanted Blake to say meow, and only meow every time she spoke. But some Furries are based on animals that don't make any noise, so I decided against it.
"It's Faunus"
Like, it's the same thing, so I totally don't even care.
"You're going to make Weiss say the same sentence, aren't you?"
Yep.
"Goddamn it"
"Lying here in defeat, listening to the voices in my head. You?" Ruby asked back.
"Trying to get to the assembly. Meow meow" the bow haired girl that totally isn't a Faunus (Furry) answered.
"Well, it's right up ahead. Don't let me and my weirdness stop you" Little Red Riding Hood told the not Furry.
"...Okay. Meow meow" the meowing girl said before walking around Ruby and going on her marry way.
"Sigh. Welcome to Beacon" Ruby sighed sadly.
"Wait a second. Where's Jaune? I haven't seen him in the story at all"
Oh...him.
A few days earlier at Jaune's house or wherever he lives at
"WWWWAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" Jaune cried, face down in his pillow.
"Uh, son" Jaune's dad said, trying to get his son's attention (I have no idea what this dude looks like. So imagine Flint Lockwood's dad from Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs).
"What dad!? Can't you see I'm crying about not being accepted into Beacon!?" the blonde told his father.
"Yeah, but wasn't your transcript fake?" Tim Lockwood asked.
"Yeah, so?"
"So a professional academy like Beacon should be able to spot a fake transcript when they see one" the father told his son.
"But I wanted to become a Hunter, and be the most powerful one due to bullshit reasoning" Jaune whined.
"Well, look on the bright side. You get to spend more time with me at the sardine store" the bald man happily said.
"Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhh" the most OP character in almost every RWBY Fanfiction groaned.
"I'm...actually okay with this"
You are?
"Yes. I found it strange how Ozpin let Jaune enroll, despite knowing of his fake transcript"
Finally! Something you like in my version of RWBY.
"True, but I'm more concerned over who you're going to replace Jaune with"
Oh...uh...
"I can already feel a headache coming on"
Back with Ruby
The defeated protagonist continued to lay on the ground until a shadow came over her. She looks over to who, or whatever is the cause of the shadow, and sees a yellow outstretched hand.
"Hi, I'm Spongebob"
"What!? Wh-why!? Why did you replace Jaune with...that thing!?"
Because they both represent the color yellow.
"I get that, but this is RWBY, an entirely different show. Sponge Boy belongs in his own show under the sea!"
Poor delusional Salem. This where the Crackfic part comes into play, because with that one simple word, anything can happen. Even nautical nonsense like bringing in characters from other shows.
"Even with all that said, he's still going to join team JNPR?"
Yes.
"Then your Sponge needs to follow the Color Rule"
The heck is that?
"Look it up"
*Proceeds to look up, and read the RWBY Color Rule* Okay, why do I need to do this?
"Because it's what the creator of RWBY, Monty Oum, wanted his fans to do with their OC's"
SpongeBob isn't technically my OC, he's Stephen Hillenburg's. So I don't have to follow it.
"Okay, but can you at least change his name so it'll match team JNPR?"
Nope, that sponge is a cartoon icon, and I refuse to change his name.
"Then how will he be apart of team JNPR!?"
Easy, replace the J with S, and call them team SNPR (Sniper).
"...That was...actually pretty clever of you"
Thank you.
"Just don't go over board with adding characters from other shows. This isn't a crossover"
Alright, even though there's nothing you can do if I didn't agree with you...sucker"
"Suck a dick"
You want me to suck your dick!?
"No, I mean- gah! Just get on with the story!"
"Uh, Ruby" the girl replied, taking SpongeBob's hand and standing up. "Are you...some kind of Faunus?"
"Faunus? GAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! No, I'm a Sea Sponge" the square being answered.
"Oh"
A few Seconds Later
"All I'm saying is that Jelly Fishing is a more common thing in the Bikini Bottom" SpongeBob told Ruby.
"Look, I'm sorry, but I've never heard of anything like that except for regular fishing for, y'know, actual fish" Ruby replied.
"Oh yeah? How about Eels and Escalators?" Mr. Squarepants asked.
"You mean Chutes and Ladders?" the darkly dressed girl guessed.
"Never heard of it. Either way, my full name is SpongeBob Squarepants. It's long, sweet, rolls off the tongue, kids love it" the sponge reveled.
"Why kids?" Ruby questioned.
"What!? I'm not a pedophile!" SpongeBob shouted in nervousness.
"I-I didn't say that!" Ruby defended.
"Oh, sorry" the square being sheepishly apologized, looking guilty of something else entirely.
"Uh...so...I got this thing" Ms. Rose said before pulling out Crescent Rose.
"AAAAAAAAHHHHH! The Grim Reaper!" SpongeBob screamed in fear.
"I'm not the Grim Reaper...although I could reap Grimm with Crescent Rose" Ruby figured.
"Oh, that's cool. A little violent for my tastes, but cool" Mr. Squarepants commented.
"So what've you got?" Ruby inquired.
"I, uh, got this bubble wand" SpongeBob stated before pulling it out from his back pocket.
"Ooooooh. What does it do?"
"Well, it has an infinite amount of soap in it so I don't have to refill it. Thus allowing me to blow as many bubbles as I want" the sponge explained.
"But, aren't they just bubbles?" Ruby questioned further.
"If you don't have an imagination. Which I'm sure you have" Spongebob further explained.
"True...anyways, I'm kind of a dork when it comes to weapons. I guess I did go a little overboard when designing mine" the silver eyed girl admitted.
"Wait. You made that?"
"Of course! All students at Signal forge their own weapons. Didn't you make yours?"
"I literally bought this in my hometown at a store called the Barg'N-Mart"
"Sounds more like a plastic toy to me...well, I like it! Not many people have an appreciation for simplicity these days"
"Ha! Yeah, simplicity"
"Hey, where are we going?"
"I dunno, I was following you"
"So we're lost"
"Don't worry, there has to be a directory somewhere. Maybe even a Krusty Krab type of restaurant. Or some sort of recognizable landmark, like a pineapple, or an Easter Island Head, maybe even a Tree-Dome"
"...What kind of town do you live in?"
"A town full of nautical nonsense"
Aaaannnd done.
"You're going to end chapter 2 right there?"
Yep, Rooster Teeth did it with the original episode. So I'm doing it in my Fanfiction.
"Alright, I don't see a problem. Your just giving me a break from this ludicrous story"
By the way, Cinder is walking in your castle right now.
"WHAT!?"
Don't be too rough on her, if you catch my drift.
"Y-YOU ABSOLUTE DISGUSTING PERVERTED MOTHERFU-"
"Mother, who are you talking to?" Cinder asked from behind Salem.
"Oh no"
In that Circular Room where Salem Trains Cinder in the Episode "Taking Control"
Salem slowly turned around with a flaccid, yet steadily hardening member. She quickly put her hands over her groin area to block any visible movement before facing Cinder.
"Uh, Cinder d-darling. What are you doing here?" Salem asked, trying to put on her best motherly impression with a smile.
"I came to give you a slushie. You have no idea of the headache I went through trying to get this" Cinder answered, referring to Roman.
"O-oh, thank you" the witch thanked, reaching out her right hand to grab the cold drink.
Before Salem could obtain the slushie, her member suddenly pitched a tent in her dress.
"Damn it!" Salem cursed, trying in vain to hide the long rod.
"Hmm~ My, my. Looks like mommy can't control herself around me~" Cinder teased sexually.
"N-now listen here Cinder! I know we may have done some venereal activities in the past, but-"
"Don't worry" the black haired girl stated as stood the slushie cup on the floor and got on her knees.
"Ngh, wait...don't...don't...mmph" Salem trailed off, rubbing her thighs together in nervousness. She honest didn't want this to happen, but the new hormones in her body clouded any judgement.
"I'm going to make you feel reeeeal good mommy~" Cinder cooed, looking up at Salem with a face that would make anyone horny.
"You know what? Fuck it. None of this is canon anyway" the white haired woman decided.
"What was that?" Cinder inquired.
"Nothing. Get on with the oral sex" Salem demanded.
"Yes Ma'am!" Cinder happily agreed.
I, uh...did not expect you to go along with this.
"I don't, yet I do at the same tiiiiiiiiiiiiiiimmmmmmmmmmme"
Salem?
"Oooooooohhhhh my fucking God~ I never knew Cinder, or humans in general could fit something so long and massive in their throats~ Ahn!~"
Fuck this, I'm out! See you in chapter 3! *Proceeds to run for the hills and wash eyeballs out*
A/N: Done! I hope you all like the story so far, because I plan to go all the way up the SEASON 3 finale. I'm not going to rewrite SEASON 4 since it seems kinda, I dunno, mellow. Anyway, favorite, follow, or leave a review, it lets me know you're enjoying the story. See you next time!