Volume 1 (Technically Season 1), Chapter 6: The Master Emerald Forest, Part 1
A/N: Yeesh, it's almost been a whole month since I updated this story. I probably would've had this chapter up sooner, but I was working on this video called 'RWBY With SpongeBob Music'. It's not as ridiculous as it sounds, most of the music actually matches up with the scenes I picked out. Matter of fact, I made three other videos just like it. The last two were originally one whole video, but it got blocked by Rooster Teeth. So I split it into two parts thinking the overall length of the video was the problem. It wasn't, so I sent them an email asking why my last two videos were blocked, when my first two weren't. They didn't reply, they just unblocked both videos without a response. So I guess that was that. Anyway, here's chapter 6, rated M I might add.
Ah, here we are in chapter 6, Salem.
"..."
Salem?
"Go away. I feel like a lead block"
A lead block?
"Yes, I don't feel like getting out of my bed and doing anything. I don't even feel like killing every single human anymore. That includes trying to narrate this horrible story"
...That sounds like depression.
"Oh, great. Your horrid story gave me depression"
Yikes, so I guess you won't like the fact this story is rated M now?
"What the fuck does that mean?"
It means I can go into exquisite detail about sex scenes, murders, and all that adult stuff.
"...I think...I think I'm actually going to cry"
Huh!? Why!?
"You've already exposed me to so much inexplicable, random, and weird scenarios. Now you're telling me that it's only going to worse from here on out! This whole...thing, is torture for me!"
"Says you. I'm actually enjoying this" Ozpin commented, standing on Beacon Cliff.
"What the-? How did you get back there!?"
"Aren't you forgetting that I'm a narrator too? I can be wherever I want" Ozpin answered, sipping a bit of his hot chocolate.
"...Fuck this. I'm gonna cry in my pillow"
If it makes you feel any better, I've decided to add the Flash instead of Austin Powers.
"Nope, the damage has been done. Let me waste away in my bed in peace.
...Okay. On with the story!
*Sigh*
In the Suddenly Misty Forest of Emerald Forest
Yang, the blonde bimbo of RWBY...well, the large breasted blonde. Since blonde bimbos are empty headed, and Yang isn't...or at least good at hiding it. Anyway, Yang found herself walking through the misty Emerald Forest, which wasn't misty in the last chapter, and decided to be misty for no reason other than a false sense of suspense.
"Hellllooooooooo? Is anybody out there? Hopefully my little sister Ruby?" Yang yelled out with optimism, not noticing a shadow (Blake) run past her in the treeline.
Yang kept walking for awhile before she got tired of all her aimless wandering. "Yo! Where the fuck are my peeps at!?"
*RUSTLE*
The blonde bombshell turned her head to the rustling bushes. "Hey, is somebody over there?"
*RUSTLE*
"...I'm not coming over to check a rustling bush that's in a forest full of Grimm" Yang deadpanned, crossing her arms.
Suddenly, an Ursa popped up saying, "Wow, I can't believe someone in this world has the common sense to NOT check a rustling bush in a world full of monsters"
"Thanks" Yang thanked before she uncrossed her arms and activated Ember Celica. "Now die"
"Meh, I don't feel like fighting. I just got knocked here by a girl with a scythe (Near the end of Chapter 4)" the Ursa tiredly growled.
"Oh"
"But you can fight one of my MANY look alike brothers who's right behind you" the Ursa suggested.
Yang turned around just time to see another Ursa swipe a her. Luckily for Yang, the Ursa missed. Unluckily (For everyone in the area), the Ursa managed to swipe off a microscopic speck of Yang's hair.
Her eyes went wide as time seemed to slow down. Yang focused on the microscopic speck of hair that floated down...and down...and down...and down...and down...and down...and down...and dow-
"Okay, we get it. Objects that barely weigh anything take a long time to float down"
I thought you were too depressed to narrate.
"Do you hear my voice?"
Yes, it sounds like you're sick of my shit...more than usual anyway. But in an obviously depressed and tired tone.
"Correct, and I'll still narrate. It'll just be more...depressing"
...Okay, even though you're killing my vibe a bit.
"Good"
Alright, so basically Yang stared at her super tiny speck of hair for a long time until the second Ursa decided to say something. "Um, ma'am. You've been staring at that one spot for quite a while now. Are you in some sort of weird trace?"
Yang lowered her head to where her hair cast a shadow over her eyes. "Y-yes...I guess you could say that, heh heh"
The way Yang responded made it sound like she had lost her mind.
"Ummmm...yo, bro. I'm getting creeped the fuck out over here" the second Ursa told the first Ursa, still in the bushes.
"Don't worry. She's probably mentally preparing her to fig-"
"YOU ABSOLUTE COCK SUCKING PIECE OF ROTTON SHIT! DO YOU SEE WHAT YOU'VE DONE!?" Ms. Xiao Long screamed at the top of her lungs, interrupting the first Ursa.
"Wh-what? What did I d-d-do?" the second Ursa stuttered in fear of Yang's sudden change in tone.
"ARE YOU SERIOUS!? YOU! CUT OFF! A PIECE! OF! MY! HAIR!" Yang blamed, pointing at the ground.
"What!? There's nothing there! I missed you when I tried to attack" the second Ursa claimed.
The blonde gave the second Ursa a Luigi Death Stare. Soon after, the ground started rumbling as Yang clenched her fists, with her hair beginning to glow.
"OH SHIT! SHE'S GOING SUPER SAIYAN!" the second Ursa shouted. "Bro, what do we do!?...bro?"
The second Ursa looked at the bushes, only to see that the first Ursa had noped the fuck outta there.
"That motherfurk-" the second Ursa choked out as Yang rushed up to him and grabbed him by his throat.
The daughter of Taiyang Xiao Long, and Raven Branwen, lowered the beast to her eye level. The teenage girl's eyes were completely white, with her hair glowing golden yellow, and a twitching toothy smile plastered on her lips.
"Do you know what I'm gonna do to you?" Yang asked in an unsettling whisper.
"Urklegrablekrshhhh" the Ursa forced out painfully.
"Right answer" Yang said.
The Ursa thought to itself, "What the fuck is she talking abou-"
*SNAP!*
Yang had completely torn off the Ursa's jaw with her free hand, and dropped the bear like Grimm to the ground. Watching it wiggle, and squirm in pain before it turned to black dust in the wind.
"Damn, that was brutal"
Well, the story is rated M after all. But tearing the jaw off of something that doesn't bleed isn't all that mature...
"I don't like where this going"
"ALRIGHT! WHO THE FUCK IS NEXT!?" Yang yelled out to the forest.
*RUSTLE*
The large breasted girl quickly looked at a different group of bushes. "Get your sorry ass out here, NOW!"
After Yang's demand, Blake emerged from the bushes with a frighted look on her face.
"Um...hello. Meow meow" Blake greeted meekly.
Yang instantly depowered upon seeing the not faunus. "Oh...it's you Blake"
"Yes, and do you know what this means? Meow meow" Blake questioned, slightly blushing.
"That we're on the same team" Yang proudly said, giving Blake a thumbs up.
"Yes, but we're also going to be shipped together. Meow meow" the bow headed girl added, blushing even more.
"...No...no...NNNOOOOOOOOOO!" Yang shouted in defeat, falling to her knees. "Damn it! I wanted to be shipped with Ruby! No one can sexually please her like I do!"
"WHAT! Meow meow!?" Blake screamed in shock.
Yang speedily stood up and grabbed Blake by her shoulders. "Yes! I fuck my little sister, OKAY! We have hot steamy sex with each other. We even have threesomes with Crescent Rose sometimes too! Are you happy now, Blake? You know that Ruby and I are incestual! So when day comes for us to have sex since we're shipped with each other, know this. You'll be eating out, and/or scissoring the same vagina my little sister used to eat out and scissor!"
Blake's brain couldn't comprehend what was just revealed to her. So she did what anybody would do in a situation like this. Pass out from the shock of it all, straight into Yang's boobs.
"...Well...this got awkward" the blonde said to herself, looking down at the Cat Furry nestled between her breasts.
Blake then starting purring in Yang's breasts. Making the gauntlet wearing girls's nipples harden.
"Oh yes~" Yang moaned sexually.
"Oh God"
Oh me. Oh moo. Oh my
"Ooh na na. What's my name?" Ozpin interjected, referencing Rihanna's song titled 'What's My Name?'.
"Both of you shut up"
Ruby and Weiss
"Alright Weiss, remember your training" Ms. Schnee told herself as she wielded...Myrtenaster...
What the hell!? It's just a damn sword! A Rapier to be exact. Why does it need a fancy name!?
"To match the RWBY Color Rule"
So what does-
"Myrtenaster (Myrten Aster) is German for a family of flowers (Myrtle) that are typically found to be white, but can come in a variety of other colors"
The flowers may be typically white, but they also come in different colors. So since Weiss' color is white, it doesn't make sense to choose a weapon name that represents many different colors.
"There are also different colors of Dust vials in Myrtenaster. So it DOES make sense to have a weapon name that represents many colors"
I, uh...uh...have...no comeback.
"Ha ha! Yes! I win! I'm feeling less depressed already!
"Ugh, like, can you two shut up? I'm trying to focus!" Weiss snapped, currently surrounded by a group of Beowolves.
The Ice Princess stood at the ready with her sword drawn. "Okay, head up, shoulders back, right foot forward-"
Wait a minute, you just moved your left foot.
"I totally meant right foot, as in the correct foot" Weiss explained, getting agitated.
Wait, what?
"Are you serious? The definition of right she's using is a synonym of correct" (Totally not based on an argument I saw online)
...Sounds like bullshit to me, but I'll accept it.
With Weiss' posture and stance to her liking, she dashed forward to the Beowolf in front of her. But Little Miss Red Riding Ruby got to the Beowolf first, and caused Weiss to fire her fire attack at a poor woodland tree. Said tree's leaves vanished into thin air, they weren't burned, or turned to ash. They just 'poofed', disappeared, like a bubble being popped.
"Hey, you attacked out of turn Ru-bae! I totally could've killed you! And like, what the hell happened to that race with Sonic?" Ms. Schnee angrily pointed out.
Ruby turned to the white haired girl. "Okay, first of all, we aren't playing an RPG. Second, you're gonna have to try a LOT harder than that to kill me. Third, that guy was way past cool- I mean, way too fast for me"
"Wha- try a lot harder to kill you!?" Elsa questioned with angry white anime eyes.
"Uh, yeah. You'd never stand a chance against me" Ruby shot back.
"Oh ho. Oh ho ho. Oh ho ho ho no you don't bitch. I'm not letting you get away with that" Weiss stated, getting in Ruby's face.
"What chu finna do you prissy bitch?" Ms. Rose tauntingly questioned.
"I gonna beat you until your whole outfit is red" the white haired girl threatened.
"Oh yeah? Well I'm gonna take your Myrtenaster, and my Crescent Rose, and use them to violate BOTH your holes" Ruby sexually and violently threatened.
The Beowolves who surrounded both girls began to look at each other in confusement. One of them daringly decided to speak up, and asked, "Um, ladies. Aren't you gonna fight us?"
"FUCK OFF!" both Ruby and Weiss screamed to all of them.
"Damn, all you had to say was no" the same Beowolf replied as the pack left the two girls.
With the Beowolves gone, it was just Ruby, and Weiss in the clearing. With their faces mere inches from each other. The longer they stared into each others eyes, the more they felt something deep within start to take over. Not something violent, but something...romantic. Pretty soon neither of them could contain it anymore. Their lips quickly crashed into each others, with each girl slowly caressing the back of the other girl's head.
"Oh great. You've gone into cliché romantic fanfiction territory"
I think you mean a cliché romantic fanfiction that's rated M.
"What are you-"
"Oh fuck yes Ru-bae!" Weiss screamed out in sexual pleasure as Ruby ate out her ass.
"WHAT THE- *burp*...I think I'm gonna throw up"
Go ahead, this story is rated M now. You can throw up as much as you want.
"You- *burp* disgusting human. You do know what comes from the asses of- *burp* most organisms?"
Yes.
"Oh god...*burp*. It's coming up!"
Salem's Bedroom
Salem's bedroom was stylized with Gothic furniture. Her bed (Which she quickly ran away from to vomit) had black sheets, and blankets with white pillows. Even her bed overhang had black drapes, er, draped, across it. Salem was running to the bedroom's balcony. She hurried to push open the thin purple stained double glass doors that lead to the balcony, ran to the edge, and blew chunks. Well...not chunks. More like black slime or goo. This only lasted for a total of three seconds before the black stream stopped flowing from her mouth.
"Ugh...fuck...*burp*"
What the hell was that black nastiness that left your mouth?
"Wouldn't you like to know?" Salem countered, avoiding the question. She wiped the black substance from her mouth and chin before saying, "The fact that you made me of all people vomit is an amazing feat. Congratulations"
Thank you.
"I didn't mean that in a good way" the witch added, walking back inside her room, and gently laying back in her bed facing up.
Um, are you alright. You seem kinda...off.
"I'm fine. Just finish this festering shit pile of a chapter" Salem ordered, placing both hands on her still churning stomach.
...Alright.
SpongeBob and Pyrrah
These two happy-go-lucky partners were exploring Emerald Forest, trying to find an emerald. While singing one of SpongeBob's most famous songs.
"Oh, I'm a goofy goober, yeah!" Pyrrah started to sing.
"You're a goofy goober, yeah!" SpongeBob continued while pointing at her with a smile.
"We're all goofy goobers, yeah! Goofy, goofy, goober, goober, YEAH!" both of them finished singing.
The armor wearing girl let out a happy chuckle. "I'm glad I get to sing these songs with you"
"Yeah, singing by myself, or with Patrick all the time gets boring. It's nice to have someone new to sing with" the sponge thanked.
"Oh, you~" Pyrrah replied with a blush.
"Anyways, whats this Aura stuff I keep hearing everyone talk about? It sounds important" SpongeBob asked.
Pyrrah stopped in her tracks, and slapped herself on the forehead. Making the sea dweller to turn around to face her. "What's wrong, Pyrrah?"
"How could I be so stupid!? Our world is basically an anime, and most anime characters have ki, aura, or chakra. But you're from a cartoon, and most cartoon characters don't have any of that" the read headed warrior explained to him.
"Uhhhh...what?"
"You don't have an aura SpongeBob" Pyrrah flat out told the Bikini Bottom citizen.
"So...what does that mean?" SpongeBob questioned a tad bit worried.
"It means you have a very, VERY, high chance of dying!" Ms. Nikos informed him.
"OOOOOOOHHH NOOOOOOOOOO!" SpongeBob screamed out in fear of losing his life.
"But, you've gotten yourself into many different deadly, and violent situations and came out unscathed before. So I wouldn't worry too much" Pyrrah added.
"OOOOOOOHHH NOO- wait, that's actually good news" Mr. Squarepants realized.
"Yeah, you can get chopped in half, sliced into pieces, have your brain taken out, your limbs torn off, get stretched out, flattened into a pancake, fall from a high place and get splattered on the ground only to reform back into your normal form, and even be liquefied" Pyrrah listed off.
"Wow, I sound invincible" SpongeBob said with pride.
Suddenly, a large gust of wind came from the western part of Emerald Forest.
"Hm? What in the world was that?" the red headed girl asked herself, looking at the western side of the forest.
"I'm coming Ren!" Nora shouted as she ran past the two. (Ren was enacting the plan Nora came up with in chapter 4)
Done!
"Ugh...I still feel sick"
Don't you have any medicine for your tummy troubles? Or maybe a magic spell? You know, because you're a witch.
"Just...just go away.
Meh, whatever. I got other stuff to do. Buh-bye!
"...*sniffle*"
"Oh, come on Salem. Don't tell me you're actually going to cry"
Salem's Bedroom
The pale witch lay on her bed, looking up at the underside of her bed overhang.
"I might, Ozpin" Salem answered the silvered haired man.
"Alright, I think it's time" Oz started before he popped up in Salem's bedroom. "That we have a real conversation about this"
"Oh, why not? We were stuck in limbo for almost one month between chapters 5 and 6. There's plenty of time to waste" Salem begrudgingly agreed.
"You say waste, I say use wisely" Ozpin commented, walking closer.
"*sigh*" Salem got out of her bed, standing face to face with the headmaster of Beacon. "How do you want to start this little, chat?"
"Tell me Salem, how do we know each other?" Oz questioned.
"Hell if I know. It hasn't been revealed yet. All I know, is that I hate you, and want to cause mass genocide. Plus, what does that have to do with anything?"
"What I'm trying to say is, that something as important as our past connection will be revealed over time. Just like how this story will be done over time" the hot chocolate drinker responded.
"And...?" Salem inquired, moving her hand in a motion that told Ozpin to hurry along.
"RWBY fans are having fun trying to figure out what our past connection is. So why don't you try to have fun doing what you can't do in RWBY's canon?" Ozpin suggested before he disappeared.
Salem merely stared at the ground where Ozpin was, thinking upon his words.
"Have fun doing what I can't do in RWBY's canon? Wait...have I done anything fun before? Do even know what fun is?" she questioned herself aloud.
"You may not know what fun is, but I do" SpongeBob announced before he dropped down from out of nowhere.
"YOU!?" Salem yelled in surprise.
"Yes ma'am" the sponge greeted.
"Oh great" Salem muttered, pinching the bridge between her eyes. "What could you possibly teach me about, fun?"
"Fun is when you...fun is...it's like...it's kind of...sort of like a...what is fun? I...Let me spell it for you! F is for friends who do stuff together" SpongeBob started singing.
"The fuck?" Salem cursed under breath.
"U is for you and me. N is for anywhere and anytime at all!"
"Up here in your hellish home" an unseen choir added.
The mastermind behind everything wrong in Remnant looked around alarmed. "Who said that!? My home isn't hellish...or at least not that hellish. I mean, it could be a lot worse"
"Come on Salem. You sing" SpongeBob offered.
"Grrr...fine! F is for the fucking Furries, who will die in fires. U is for Ursa Grimm...mauling. N is for the Nuckelavee that killed Ren's par-"
"Salem! Those things aren't what fun is all about! Now do it like-"
"No! I've finally realized what I like to do for fun!" Salem revealed to the sponge.
"You do?" Mr. Squarepants questioned with enthusiasm.
"Yes! I have fun watching people suffer right before my very eyes" Salem told SpongeBob with a dark and eerie tone, looming over him.
"Oh, uh...well excuse me while I run for the hills" SpongeBob pardon before running for the hills, screaming for his life.
"Ha ha! Yes! I'm always in the shadows watching my Grimm cause mass panic and paranoia. But now it's my turn to step into the spotlight! My turn to kill people with my bare hands. My turn to kill the last Silver Eyed Warrior personally! And my turn to rip Ozpin's beating heart out of his body! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
A/N: Uh-oh, looks like Salem is stepping up as a villain earlier than expected, WAY earlier than expected! What will happen now that she's going out into the field? Will team RWBY be able to stop her? Why did Weiss let Ruby eat out her ass!? Oh, these questions that are normally asked at the end of a 1966 Batman cliffhanger are piling up. Stay tuned fellow readers, it only gets crazier from here.