Few men and a single woman can claim to have been bestowed a look of outrage from one Mrs Mary-Margaret Nolan. It goes against the lady's very character and disposition to hold such harsh feelings beneath her breast, let alone to give them the freedom to see the light of day.
But it is not day now but one of the darkest hours of the night and her breast has been heaving with suppressed emotion for too many of those hours and perhaps that is excuse enough for the way that Mrs Nolan is at present looking at Captain Liam Jones as he stands by her fireplace.
The gentleman in question could be accused of purposefully keeping his gaze on the coals and not resting it on any of the occupants in the room. If he did, it is indeed doubtful that he will find any rest in any of their countenances.
"And so you made your mind to depart Neverland? And without Emma?"
"And what would you have had me do instead? Drag her here by the hair?"
"Liam!"
Elsa's call for temperance is barely a breath but it visibly makes the man it is addressed towards stiffen and take stock of himself.
"I would have you spare no effort in preserving your brother's good name and my dearest friend's reputation in a time when he is incapable of doing so and she is clearly much too affected to."
"In her own words," Captain Jones continues in a measured tone. "Miss Swan is 'not to be tested or trifled with'. At the time of my departure she had ordered out two maids and physically removed one from Killian's room. I was likewise banned from entering long as my only purpose was to solicit her own exit. Only Doctor Whale has been allowed in and that after Miss Swan made sure to thoroughly question his qualifications and loyalties and very nearly make him swear an oath that should any harm befall Killian under his hands, he shall submit himself to an equal punishment under her own."
"Oh, Emma," Mary-Margaret hides her face in her hands much as she would probably like to hide some of her dear friend's actions.
"I do not know if you have the dubious pleasure of knowing the good doctor. He is indeed a capable professional but hardly the bravest of heart and I have had to double his fee to convince him to keep treating Killian. Under the watchful eye of Miss Swan, of course."
"So she is with your brother now?"
Miss Elsa furrows her elegant brows in an obvious attempt to reconcile what she is hearing with what could possibly be allowed to be.
"She was for the entirety of the five hours we spent under his roof together. I have no doubt that my departure of all things has not driven her away."
While Captain Jones seems to have accepted his fate and the situation at hand, Miss Elsa is readily gathering herself, her feverish eyes already planning ahead.
"We are to leave right away and fetch her. This must not be-"
"Oh, enough, enough!"
Miss Anna suddenly launches herself out of the couch where it was assumed by everyone present that she was finally taking a long-overdue nap.
"Have you no shame?! No shame at all!"
"Anna," the elder Miss Froster's voice is all ice and no sympathy for her sister in that moment – which seems to suit the younger girl just fine as she turns her defiant gaze on her closest and dearest. "You of all people-"
"Yes, I. I of all people, Elsa!"
Miss Anna takes a deep breath, succeeding in catching the eye of every person in the room in the process. It is perhaps for the first time that her audience awaits the stream of words that is to come out of her with trepidation rather than fond indulgence.
"I – the girl who is at the very root of all this."
"Anna, you did not-"
"The girl who so easily gave her heart and her word when she had been given neither in return."
Miss Elsa has stopped trying to interrupt. And Mr and Mrs Nolans' eyes have filled with the sadness of persons in possession of what another has been so cruelly denied.
"The girl who made a fool of herself and her family – her sister and her aunt, to such an extent that nothing but the most drastic of measures could..."
"You did not even know-"
"No, indeed, I didn't, Elsa. I didn't know that you had shared my… my predicament with the good captains."
Her steading breath is nothing if not unsteady and the way she wipes her running nose is nothing if not undignified but Miss Anna soldiers on.
"For as foolish and naïve as you all think me to be – oh, do not argue – for as foolish and naïve as I have proven to be, I am not fool enough to be blind to the fact that this gentleman would do anything to ensure your happiness and peace of mind."
Her hand is shaking as she waves it at the captain in question but it makes him blanch no less for it.
"That was your blunder and ill-judgement and perhaps, if you were to sometimes take stock of your feelings and not be quite so stoic and not expect and force all those around you to be so as well…"
Her sister takes the blame half-thrown at her feet by raising her chin and standing tall on those same feet.
"You can blame me as harshly as you please, Anna, it will not be harsher than I blame myself, but there is no need to go into the personal affairs of-"
"But you shan't have it all, sister. That is just the thing. You will have to share your blame with me and you will have to share it with Captain Jones, standing there and wishing he wasn't foolish enough to not see that his brother will never let him put himself in harm's way."
"I did-"
"And you shall share it with Killian himself for being the reckless and stubborn man that we all had only heard tales of and never seen before. And, most of all, you shall share it with that treacherous bastard-"
"Anna!"
"That turns before the count of three and shoots his gun into his opponent's back like the lowliest of cowards. That horrid, cursed-"
"Anna!"
"Days! Mere days ago I wanted to marry a man who would behave in such a way at a duel with the most honourable of men!"
It is the first moment that silence reigns supreme in the room as everybody wishes but nobody is capable of denying the lady's words or the dire circumstances that they have brought about. But Anna regains possession of herself – now that she has found her voice and the strength to raise it, she is clearly determined to say her piece.
"We shall all share and carry our bit of blame. But do not dare stand around and hide from it behind the supposed misdeeds of the one person that has done no wrong. For Emma saw through and rejected Mr Cassidy in the way I should have done Mr Islington. Emma saw through my dear sister and the esteemed captain and tried to steer them off their path of willful ignorance and pretense. Emma, I'm sure, would've been able to talk some sense into Killian and Emma would have never trusted Hans Islington with a gun in his hand. Emma has no share of our blame."
Miss Anna looks around the room but this time no one is able to tear their gaze from the intricate carpet or the glowing ambers to meet her indignation.
"Yet Emma is the one paying the price."
"My brother-"
"I am forever indebted to, Captain Jones," Anna interrupts with the sudden somberness and manner of one speaking their audience's language simply for the sake of being understood. "He has been abominably mistreated and I wish he would not have to suffer the consequence of all our mistakes. But do not for a second believe that every bit of pain your brother feels, Miss Swan doesn't feel twice over. Why, she is there to feel his pain. And to appease it however she can. Can any of us say the same?"
/
It is perhaps truly her lack of guilt that allows Miss Swan to sit my Captain Jones's bedside while everyone else's remorse is too heavy to be dragged in there. But we must not put it past this lady that her actions would've followed the same general path in any situation that ended up with the present result.
That being a feverish, bed-ridden Killian Jones with a bullet hole in his back and a matching one on his right shoulder.
"Your brother is probably gathering her Majesty's forces right this moment to have me escorted out."
She mutters half to herself, half to the man beside her as she wipes away the sweat from his brow.
"I expected no less, of course. But if you try to give me grief for this…"
Killian either strongly disagrees or is fighting another hot wave because his response is to try and rid himself of all his blankets at once.
"Alright, alright."
Emma pulls the covers down to his waist and tries to still his movements, chastising him half in agitation and half in fear as she recalls him pulling one of his stitches earlier. She runs her fingers over the large bandage on his chest, barely making contact, but grows bolder as her hand trails down his left arm and stops over the scars she has never been allowed to see – let alone touch – before.
In the years they have known each other, she could easily count the number of times she has touched Killian Jones on her hands. She could count the number of times she has touched his left arm and need no fingers at all for the task, and she could do the same with the number of times she has touched – or even seen – a man without his shirt on.
She draws a hesitant circle around a deep scar on the inside of his wrist and wonders exactly how furious he would be with her when he wakes up.
"Emma?"
It is that thought that can probably account for the gasp and terrified look in her eyes as she looks up and into the clouded blue eyes of her patient.
"Goodness," her free hand flies to her chest but the other one has only taken firmer purchase of his stump. "Killian."
It takes the startled lady a few heartbeats and blinks of her eyes and probably a good number more heartbeats and blinks from the injured man, trying to come to his senses, before she seems to take proper stock of the situation – rushing to sit closer by his head, her trembling hands now finding themselves in his hair.
"Killian. Are you- How- How are you feeling?"
"Wh-What on earth…"
The captain's eyes seem to blink him in and out of existence as he tries to make sense of the situation and sensations coursing through him – certainly not at all aided by the proximity of the lady sitting on his bed.
"You were shot. Doctor Whale took the bullet out. He said if you manage to sweat your fever out, you'd pull through."
Her voice trembles and stumbles over the words even as her tone expresses her fierce indignation at the doctor's insinuation that there was any other possible outcome from this.
"Islington won?" this with honest surprise and the creeping treads of shame.
"Cheated," and this with barely restrained fury and not-at-all-restrained disgust.
"That little-"
But Captain Jones would probably endevour to be a gentleman even on his deathbed and we are becoming thankfully confident that this is not to be said deathbed after all. Miss Swan however seems nothing short of amused at his attempts to avoid insulting her with inappropriate language.
"I assure you, you cannot possibly call him anything I have not already."
"And I find myself hard pressed to doubt that."
Killian's eyes flit around the room, finally noticing the intimate setting.
"And my brother?"
Miss Swan stiffens and straightens her spine the slightest bit as she delivers her reply.
"It would appear the only thing he could bear less than not being present was my being so."
"But he is alright?"
Emma looks in confusion at the worry in his voice before her gaze softens impossibly and her hand comes back to his left wrist.
"He is fine. He was never in any danger of not being so. Which we all believe was the point of this inexcusable display of foolishness and recklessness and-"
But her gesture of comfort seems to completely take the gentleman's attention away from her cross words and even as he nods in relief at her words, he pulls his forearm away and tries to rise himself in bed.
"What on earth are you doing?"
Miss Swan naturally tries to restrain him without exercising too much strength on his weakened self.
"I believe I should be the one asking that question?" is the only reply she receives as Captain Jones concedes to lying back in bed but not to having her hands anywhere on his person.
"Oh, goodness, are you going to request a priest as well?"
"A priest?"
"Why, yes, your brother assured me that as captain she could serve as one."
"Was I truly in that critical a state?"
Miss Swan furrows her brows, trying to puzzle out his meaning before she finally draws her conclusions and blushes at his having so misunderstood hers.
"Oh, no. Not… not quite so. Though enough to have us all quite…"
It is the captain's gaze that finally clears and softens over the lady, hesitant as he obviously is to misinterpret her deep agitations and concern.
"Surely I was in no need of a priest quite yet then?" he says in a light tone even as he licks his chapped lips and settles deeper into his pillows.
Emma is either extremely observant, attuned to her patient's needs or simply in need of doing something for she is quick to fetch him a glass of water and adamant – despite his hot protests – to hold it up for him.
"It was not for the sake of your soul that he was preaching but for the impropriety of my presence, I believe," she clarifies her meaning while putting things away and skillfully, if not subtly, avoiding the captain's eyes. "Thought he should quickly make me mistress of the house, if I was to give orders in it."
"Ah, I see… well, you should have simply told the old fool that there could be no state critical enough that you'd tie yourself to me so."
It is one of his less dry attempts at jest and Emma is sure that she would have begrudgingly appreciated it at any other time. But as things stood at present, Miss Swan did not at all appreciate the trifling tone towards herself, the belittling one towards his own self and the dismissive one towards the whole imagined affair all wrapped in Killian's words.
"Many people accuse me of disagreeableness and insolence, Captain. But I make it a point to not give them the opportunity to accuse me of dishonesty."
Captain Killian Jones's sad and tired eyes immediately sparkle to attention, not only because of the lady's words but due to the tone of her voice and the way it wavered towards the end. Certainly an unusual circumstance for Miss Swan and certainly not one he had ever wished to be the cause of.
But the lady herself now does her very best to keep her distance and her face angled away just so.
"If you do not need anything else at present," she continues rather properly. "I'll go see for some food, doctor Whale said-"
"I do. I do need something else."
Much as she might wish to preserve herself and her emotions, Miss Swan is unable to ignore this. Indeed, if she had ever been able to avoid Captain Jones' needs, she wouldn't have found herself in her current predicament at all.
"Yes?"
She seems to gather herself as she turns back to him but not well enough to fully face the open and hopeful confusion on his face.
"I need you – and I assure you I am perfectly aware of the impudence of my request – to come back and endevour to be honest where you claim you did not have the heart to be dishonest."
But Miss Swan just clenches her teeth and her hands that were so recently on that same gentleman that she is now trying to keep a respectable distance from.
"I have known you to be many things, Captain, but a cruel man has never been one of them."
"And I can promise you that I would sooner turn my own gun on myself than be cruel to you."
"I believe you have had enough guns turned on you for the present time."
It is the gentleman's own folly that he lets out a chuckle at that, which rattles his torn shoulder, but it is perhaps not such a folly since it draws the fair lady back to his side, even if her look is one of the utmost impatience and lack of all amusement.
"I concur, Miss Swan."
Emma is quick to take her gaze away when it holds his for too long but she remains by his bed much like she had for the last untold hours.
"And as for my non-critical state?"
"What do you wish to hear?"
"I am grateful that you phrased your question so. For I am perhaps neither deserving nor entitled to hear it but I do so wish for the truth."
"Very well then."
It is hard for the casual observer to determine who is more surprised by the lady's sudden bravery as she looks the man in front of her straight in the eye. Perhaps it is even hard for the two involved to tell.
"I was not to lie to your brother and tell him that I shall not have you in some state or other… when the truth is that I would have you in any state."
Captain Jones is hardly given any time to absorb this information, which seems to turn his whole inner world upside-down, when Miss Swan is already moving for the door – quite probably in a rush to bring some order into her own devastated inner workings.
"Emma, I must inform you that, if you walk out that door, I take no responsibility in front of Doctor Whale or my brother or you for getting up from this bed and following."
For the moment that seems enough to bring the lady to a stop by the door.
"And, if you would be so kind as to come back here, I shall do my very best to be honest with you in return."
And that seems enough to bring her back to the chair by his bed.