Warning!

This chapter is the reason that the story rating changed, because something only slightly sexual happens at the end of this chapter, only a small example of what will happen in the future. If that's not your cup of tea, you should probably leave now.

I hope you enjoy,

Sincerely,

Kitty Greene

Chapter 20 - It Would Destroy Us

Anakin and I approach the lake house late that afternoon, silently walking together. The atmosphere between us might be so thick it could be cut with a knife, and my body almost physically cringes up.

"Padmé," the lake housemaid calls, waving excitedly, "you've received a transmission from senator Organa!"

I audibly sigh in relief, and look over at Anakin.

"Perhaps your master captured the bounty hunter, and my message is telling us this is all over."

"Maybe," Anakin says, "but I wouldn't count on it."

I shrug, and run off without him, not wanting to waste a single second in the torturous awkwardness that is our emotions for each other.

The maid hands me the holotransmitter, and I smile. "You said this is from senator Organa?"

"Yes, ma'am."

"Thank you, umm?"

"Kaya."

"Thanks, Kaya," I wave, and take the transmitter to my bedroom.

The transmitter opens with a click, and I press the button to relay the message. Then, a hologram of senator Organa appears, and smiles at me.

"Senator Amidala," he begins, "If you've received this message, it means you are alright."

Oh. He's just checking up on me.

"The other members of the opposition miss you. Even though Jar Jar is a talented speaker and the clear correct choice to represent the Naboo while you are away, his nerves about taking over your place may get away from him. Honestly, it may have been better to have your handmaiden, Dormé, decoy for you at senate meetings. Her word may be taken more seriously than representative Binks'. Even so, we wait for your return. Hopefully, this all blows over quickly."

I almost put the transmitter away, but he stops me with one final addition.

"Also, senator Clovis has been looking for you for the last few days. We've turned him away every time, but he's stubborn. It might be good for you to stay away from him when you return."

I roll my eyes and flop over onto the couch, audibly sighing with discontent. Can't he just leave me alone for a while?

"I'm guessing it's bad news," Anakin says as he slips into the room.

"Yeah," I say, propping my chin up on my hands. "An admirer is gonna start pestering me again."

"An admirer," Anakin asks, a little bit of jealousy in his voice.

"Yeah. He's been on my back since I finished my last term as Queen. He doesn't know how to leave me alone."

"You know, as a Jedi, I'm allowed to make him go away."

"He's a senator. Might be a bad idea," I sigh. "Thanks anyway, though."

He sits down next to me, watching me. "You'll be okay?"

"Yeah," I say, standing up. "I'm going to change for dinner. This dress is covered in dirt."

He smiles at me, and watches me leave. I shut the door quietly behind me, and throw myself onto the bed, scrambling for a pillow to scream into. When I'm done, I look back at the door, and the small sliver of light that comes from the other room.

He's there, listening. Or... Waiting for me. I don't know why, but I feel safer with him nearby. Like nobody could ever hurt me. I take a deep breath, and get up, watching his shadow disappear.

Just a few more days.

oOo

I emerge from my room dressed in a tight fitting evening gown, with a sash made of black feathers. My hair is tied back into an intricate braid, with three circles of silver adorning my forehead. I probably shouldn't be wearing this, I don't know what possessed me to put it on. It's a little... Revealing. But, I'll wear whatever I want, and nobody can stop me.

When I enter the dining room, Anakin is waiting for me, a polite smile on his face. As I walk to my spot, I notice his eyes following me. It's a familiar feeling, enough men have done it to me before, but this time it's different. His eyes are hungry, just like any other man, but I feel like I want to be eaten, like I'd give myself to him if he asked.

I shake my head, and take my seat.

"Good evening," Anakin says, and looks away, embarrassed with himself for staring.

"Hungry," I ask.

"Starving," he smiles, confident enough to look at me again.

Kaya brings out two plates of food, just a little bit of a taste before we start our meal. Anakin takes his and immediately stuffs it in his mouth, forgetting himself.

I cough, quietly.

He curses to himself, and slows down, enjoying the food as best he can. I almost laugh out loud, but I don't want to embarrass him.

"So, Anakin, do you have any stories to tell?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well," I sigh, leaning on the table with my elbow, "we've been talking a lot about me lately. I want to know about you."

He blushes, and gives me a crooked grin. "Yeah, yeah I've got some stories."

"Well?"

oOo

Anakin and Obi Wan watched as the Twi'leks of Ryloth rejoiced. The trade federation had been expelled, and everything had been going well.

"Ready to go back," Obi Wan asked, turning his head to look at his student.

"More than anything," Anakin replied, grinning. "I don't think I can take much more of this."

Behind him a trail of young women followed, all chattering amongst each other. Their eyes scanned every inch of the young Jedi, and they were practically licking their lips with desire.

"Getting tired of the attention," Obi Wan teased.

"Yeah," Anakin said, turning back to see two more young girls join the group.

"Well, we're not quite done yet."

Anakin lifted an eyebrow. "What do you mean?"

"I'm surprised you haven't noticed it, but there's a strange presence here. I think we should check it out, it may prevent any further problems."

Anakin sighed. "Alright, fine. This had better be quick though."

Obi Wan smiled. "I'm sure it will be."

They set out towards the cragged rocks of the mountainside, and Anakin dragged his feet. His mouth was downturned into a glum expression, and he sighed loudly as they approached.

"Quit your whining," Obi Wan nagged. "We're almost there."

Obi Wan ducked under a sharp overhang, and stepped in the dark, damp cave.

"It's like it's beneath us," he mused, stroking his beard. "Strange."

"You brought me all the way here for nothing," Anakin complained.

Suddenly, the floor rumbled and shook.

"Did you feel that," Obi Wan asked.

"Yeah," Anakin answered, not quite afraid, but not quite confident either.

Suddenly, the floor gave out from under them, and Anakin's stomach flew up into his chin, as he plummeted to the ground.

Anakin wondered if his life would flash before his eyes as he fell, or when he hit the ground. Either way, he didn't get to find out, because he broke his fall on a jutting rock, and rolled down to the floor in a cloud of dust.

"Ugh," he groaned as he propped himself up on the heels of his palms. "Master, I think we found the strange presence."

He waited for his master's reply, but it was silent, aside from the noise of the cave.

"Master?"

Silent.

The dust began to clear, and there, sprawled out on the floor of the cave, was his master, unconscious. He'd hit his head on a rock on the way down. But that was not all the dust revealed. It took all that was in Anakin not to scream. For there, above him, towered seven menacing gundarks.

Anakin gasped nervously, and reached out to kick his master awake. No response. He kicked him again. Nothing. Anakin cursed under his breath. Finally, he kicked him one last time in a desperate attempt for help.

"Ugh," Obi Wan groaned, his eyes barely sliding open, his mouth downturned into a painful grimace.

"Master," Anakin breathed, "are you alright?"

Obi wan didn't answer, he only groaned. At a loss for what to do, Anakin did the only thing he could do, and slung his master over his shoulder, one hand holding him there, the other holding his saber.

The gundarks growled and spat, baring their thick, sharp claws at Anakin, threatening to swing. Anakin brought the blade of his saber up to protect his master, and sliced the claw right off of one of the gundarks. It roared with anger, and Anakin had to think fast to jump out of the way of the following blow.

"How do I get out of here," he muttered to himself.

The gundark straightened up to strike again, long strings of saliva dripping from it's jowls. It was such a tall beast that its head almost reached the opening in the ceiling. And then it dawned on Anakin.

He jumped up into the gundark's hand, and then up to the beast's head. He stumbled there for a moment, but quickly regained his balance, and made the final jump, up to the ledge. Safely away from the monsters, Anakin let out a breath of relief.

"Well done, my young apprentice," Obi Wan groaned. "Let's get out of here."

oOo

I laugh, and Anakin smirks, remembering the event.

"I rescued him. I'll never let him forget it."

The evening passes in gleeful storytelling, as Anakin recounts the missions he's been on with his master. I barely take my eyes off him as he talks, watching his lips move as he speaks, grinning at moments he remembers as funny, and frowning at serious moments.

"And when I go to them, we went into aggressive negotiations," he laughs as we begin our dessert, a bow of fresh fruit.

"Aggressive negotiations, what's that," I ask, grinning.

"Well," he chuckles, "negotiations with a lightsaber!"

I snicker, and pick up my cutlery to cut my Pearfruit, when suddenly it lifts off of my plate and toward Anakin. I stutter and watch as the fruit floats through the air, gently gliding towards him and his wide grin.

"If master Obi Wan caught me doing this, he'd be very grumpy," he says, slicing the fruit with his knife. Then, he gently lifts the section of fruit into the air, and pushes it back to me. I can tell he wants me to catch it in my mouth, but I don't want him to get any more excited than he already is. I simple stick out my fork and pierce the soft skin, then take a bite. He laughs quietly, and the rest of the meal continues in almost awkward silence.

"Should we move to the living room," I ask as I fold up my napkin and place it on the table.

He nods, and follows me as I lead him to the living room. The fireplace is lit, and crackles noisily. All the other lights are off, and I opt not to turn them on. Instead, I take a seat on the sofa beside the fire, and Anakin sits beside me.

For a moment, everything is peaceful, there is no threat on my life, there is no Jedi, there is no senate. Just Anakin and I, in a dimly lit room, together, alone.

Anakin sighs, and meets my gaze. I can tell he's conflicted, but I can't stop him from saying what he feels.

"From the moment I met you, all those years ago, not a day has gone by when I haven't thought of you." He looks up at me, embarrassed, but he continues. "And now that I'm with you again, I'm in agony. The closer I get to you, the worse it gets. The thought of not being with you-" he gasps for air, on the verge of tears. "-I can't breathe. I'm haunted by the kiss that you should never have given me. My heart is beating, hoping that that kiss will not become a scar."

I look away, ashamed. How could I have done this to him?

"You are in my very soul, tormenting me," he says, a torturer's expression in his eyes. "What can I do? I will do anything that you ask."

His shoulder heave and he reaches for my hands, trapping them in his. I look away, unable to look him in the eye again.

"If you are suffering as much as I am please, tell me."

"I can't. We can't, it's just not possible," I protest.

"Anything is possible, Padmé, listen to me-"

"No, you listen! We live in a real world, come back to it! You're studying to become a Jedi, I'm-" I have to force these words out, "I'm a senator. If you follow your thoughts through to conclusion, it'll take us to a place we cannot go. Regardless of the way we feel about each other."

"Then you do feel something," he exclaims.

I shake my head. "I will not let you give up your future for me."

"You are asking me to be rational," he says. "That is something I know I cannot do. Believe me, I wish that I could just wish away my feelings, but I can't."

"I will not give in to this."

He turns his back to me, his shoulders shuddering, his breath coming in gasps. "Well, you know it would have to be that way. We could keep it a secret," he suggests.

"We'd be living a lie. One we couldn't keep even if we wanted to. I couldn't do that. Could you, Anakin, could you live like that?"

"No," he fumbles, biting his lip. "You're right. It would destroy us."

oOo

I return to my room late that night, exhausted and overwhelmed. Anakin is in the room next to mine, but I doubt he's sleeping. After all that we said tonight, all that we did today, I don't think I can fall asleep either.

I roll over onto my bed, and let my body lurch and sob, my cries just quiet enough so that Anakin can't hear them, but loud enough to be heard. Hot tears drip from my eyes, and my shoulders shake and shudder, like my unhappiness is trying to jump out of my body, and run away. Visions of Anakin race through my head, his smile, his hands, his lips against mine.

Something inside me shifts, and my abdomen fills with warmth. My stomach lurching, but not in a bad way.

I remember the feeling of his calloused fingertips against my cheeks, his chapped lips against mine. But something I don't remember begins. I feel his hands sliding down my back, pressing into the small of my back, bringing me closer to him.

I open my eyes, but nobody is there. And yet, I wanted so badly for it to be real. The smell of his clothes, the feel of his hands, his lips across my skin, the sound of his breathing.

I roll over, onto my back, and take off my dress, opting for a blue silk nightgown, then pull the braid out of my hair. It's a little better, the other dress was rather constricting.

I look up at the mirror, and notice my flushed cheeks.

What am I doing? This is not okay, I can't do this with him in mind. He's six years younger than me, he's a Jedi, it's wrong.

And yet, it feels so right.

I curl into the sheets of my bed, and shift my nightgown up.

I shouldn't do this.

With a mind of its own, my finger brushes over my most sensitive area.

I'm going to do this.