Chapter 23 - A Rescue Mission
I don't sleep much at all that night, instead choosing to run my fingers through his soft, dark hair, and listen to him as he sleeps. He breathes evenly, the violent intake of breaths no longer happening while he sleeps. I watch his face to see if he starts having nightmares, but it's strangely tranquil. His mouth hangs open slightly, like it did back on Naboo when he tried to kiss me. I want to seal the distance between us, to kiss him while he sleeps, but I think better of it and instead pay attention to his hair.
His padawan braid is long and soft, draped over his shoulder and resting against the fabric of his thin shirt. I remember the day he took the braid, his face of pure joy when he showed me his freshly buzzed hair, and the new flashy beads woven into his braid. He hasn't cut the thing since, and it's been ten years. The first little beads are stained and dented now, from years of wear. He doesn't take very good care of that hair, the bottom of his ends are split to the dark side and back. It's probably because he doesn't want to be sporting that braid anymore. I wonder what he'll look like, his braid freshly cut off, and his hair beginning to grow into a style he likes instead.
The morning sun eventually rises, and the first light flashes over his eyes, only for a moment, before he opens them. I try to cover it up, to make him think that I wasn't watching him, but I'm too slow.
Damn this Jedi. Why does he have to wake up so early?
I know in the back of my mind that the reason he wakes up so early lies in his childhood. His time as a slave required that he get up as soon as the first sun passed over the horizon, and now he's hardwired to get up whenever the morning sun hits his face.
He almost grins at me as I turn away, disappointed in myself.
"I didn't have any nightmares," he says quietly. "I guess I can thank you for that."
I smile at him, gently. "I'm not sure I did much."
He hugs me a little closer, his lips almost making contact with my forehead before he realizes what he's doing and pulls away.
"Sorry," he grunts.
"It's alright," I tell him, sitting up now.
"I had a dream like that last night." He clutches the bedsheets in his hand, the soft fabric spilling out between his fingers. "We were..." His voice drifts off and he blushes hard. "We had..."
"Married, I hope!"
He laughs. "Of course! I wouldn't do that to you if I didn't have you as my wife!"
My heart sinks, knowing we can't be married. I really do want what he wants to give me. An awkward silence falls only for a moment.
"Good," I mumble, standing now, letting the nightgown fall around my hips and cover my thighs. I'm almost certain he got a peek at my body, but somehow, I don't feel angry about it.
He sighs and lets his torso flop back onto the mattress. I can almost hear the sound of his grief crashing back down on him.
"I know today is going to be hard," I tell him. "But we can get through this." I head over to my bag and dig through it for something to wear
He nods, with his forearms laid across his face, blocking his eyes. After a few minutes, I sit back down with him, freshly changed into a white jumpsuit and shawl. He doesn't look up at me, but I run my fingers through his hair again, and he lowers his arms, looking up at me in disbelief.
"I'm here for you, Ani," I whisper, tugging gently on the thin padawan braid on the back of his head. "No matter what."
oOo
We hold the burial ceremony that afternoon. I've put my hair up into a twisted bun, to keep it out of my eyes. Back on Naboo, it's the deepest form of respect to be completely still at a funeral. Can't do that with hair blowing in your face.
The Lars family stands beside me, each of them somber and silent, before Cliegg hovers out of line to deliver his eulogy.
"I know, wherever you are, it's become a better place," he says, his face downcast as he stares into the freshly placed tombstone. "You were the most loving partner a man could ever have. Goodbye, my darling wife. And thank you."
I stare down at the sandy earth as Anakin steps forward, and falls to his knees.
"I wasn't strong enough to save you, mom," he almost whispers. "I wasn't strong enough. But I promise, I won't fail again. I miss you..." He pauses, tears brimming in his eyes. "So much."
He digs his fingers into the freshly tilled sand, and grabs a handful, gripping it in his fingers. He kisses the earth through his skin, and a few of his tears fall onto the dry earth, soaking into the ground.
Suddenly, we hear the familiar beeping of an astromech unit, and all of us turn to see R2, whirring frantically.
"R2," I say, confused. "What are you doing here?"
The droid beeps in reply, and 3PO translates.
"It seems that he is carrying a message from an Obi Wan Kenobi! Ah, master Ani, does that name mean anything to you?"
Anakin glances over at me with wary eyes, and we take off in the direction of the ship. R2 whirrs busily as he pulls up the message on the holotransmitter. Nervously, I sit down, perched on one of the pilot's seats, Anakin standing beside me.
The figure of his master appears before us, made of blue rays which flicker slightly.
"Anakin," Obi Wan begins, "my long-range transmitter has been knocked out. Retransmit this message to Coruscant."
I eye him nervously, and press the appropriate button on the dashboard.
"I have tracked the bounty hunter Jango Fett to the droid foundries on Geonosis." Obi Wan eyes the transmitter nervously, periodically checkin around himself for attackers. "The trade federation is to take delivery of a droid army here, and it is clear that Viceroy Gunray is behind the assassination attempts on Senator Amidala. The Commerce Guilds and the Corporate Alliance have both pledged their armies to Count Dooku and are forming a-"
His head snaps to the side, and he reaches for his lightsaber, sliding out to a battle stance. "Wait, wait!" A couple of droidekas appear on the transmission, and Obi Wan begins to grunt, batting back their attacks.
I glance at Anakin nervously, horror-struck by what I'm seeing. He watches, terrified and yet so helpless. It's like he's losing two parents in one day.
The figure of Mace Windu replaces Obi Wan's and he turns to us with a grim expression. He turns to a small figure by his side, who speaks softly.
"More happening on Geonosis, I feel, than has been revealed."
"I agree," Mace responds, turning back to face us again, while master Yoda's figure disappears from the transmission. "Anakin," he orders, "we will deal with Count Dooku. The most important thing for you is to stay where you are. Protect the senator at all costs. That is your first priority."
"Understood, master," Anakin replies, masking his fear with a casual stance.
I look at him incredulously, shocked and confused. "They'll never get there in time to save him," I argue, "they have to come halfway across the galaxy! Look." I turn, and press another button on the dash to show him the location of his master in relation to us. "Geonosis is less than a parsec away."
"If he's still alive," Anakin says, overcompensating for his fear so he sounds cocky.
"Ani, are you just going to sit here and let him die? He's your friend, your mentor, he's-"
"He's like my father," he interrupts, angrily. "But you heard Master Windu. He gave me strict orders to stay here!"
"He gave you strict orders to protect me, and I'm going to help Obi Wan." I turn on the engine of the ship and ready myself to fly. "If you plan to protect me, you'll just have to come along."
He smirks, and sits down in the pilot's seat beside me.
"I'm not worried, R2," 3PO says from behind us, "it's just I've never flown before!"
The ship takes off smoothly, and I feel a surge of adrenaline.
This is not my job.
oOo
The cockpit is oddly quiet as we make our way through the emptiness of space. Anakin still holds his handful of sand, refusing to let it go. I get up, and rush over to my bag, retrieving a small, flat glass bottle. It once held the makeup I used for my face when I was queen, but since then has been empty. I only carried it around as a handy thing to have. I bring it over to him, and grab his hand so I can put the sand into the bottle, letting it settle at the bottom. Then I slip it into one of the pockets on his utility belt, so he can free his hand.
"Thank you," he mutters, more focused on flying than what I'm doing.
I nod, and take my seat again, sighing deeply as I lean back into the white fabric.
"See that, R2," 3PO says, "that is what humans call a display of affection!"
I whip my head around to glare at the tarnished translator droid, and he makes a little oh sound as he takes note of my expression.
"Apparently, that comment was unwelcome," the droid mutters, and turns back to the astromech beside him. "Perhaps I should shut off for the time being."
I nod at him, and watch as the lights on his eyes flicker out.
"How did you manage to make such an annoying droid?"
Anakin snickers. "I dunno. I must have thought that was right when I was little."
I roll my eyes as we approach the dusty red planet.
"There's Geonosis," Anakin says, turning in for a descent.
I grip the weapon controls, bracing myself for the worst. Anakin glances over at me as I sigh one last time, a quick little exhale of breath, mostly out of anxiety rather than frustration.
Now it's his turn to comfort me.
"We'll find him, Padmé," he says, "I promise."