Part Three: Mother

Chapter 35 - Challenges

2 months later.

"Mandalore is in grave danger," Obi Wan announces. He stands at the podium of my senate pod, his eyes downcast. "The separatists have completely overrun the planet, and there is no escape for the people."

"Mandalore is a neutral system, and they did not ask for our help," the representative from Kamino says. "Why should the Republic send troops to them if they do not ask for them?"

"They are unable to contact us," Obi wan explains.

"Then how do you know they are in trouble," another representative asks.

Obi Wan shakes his head. "I went there, recently, on a mercy mission. I wanted to get the citizens out of Mandalore and away from the deathwatch. But I was too late. I watched as their leader; Duchess Satine Kryze, died in my arms. She was murdered by Darth Maul, the Sith I thought I had killed on Naboo all those years ago. Now he has complete control of the planet."

A low hush falls over the assembly, and the senators wait on Obi Wan's every word.

"What do you advise we do, master Jedi," Bail Organa asks.

Obi Wan shakes his head. "I don't want this to happen, but I believe we must place a blockade on the planet. The republic must liberate Mandalore."

The senate room is overcome with a chorus of voices chanting vote now, vote now. I look over at Obi Wan and he smiles, weakly. His eyes are tired, large, dark bags below them. I could swear I saw a few grey hairs in his beard.

"Thank you for your help," he says, as the small senate pod mounts back on the wall. He walks off of the pod, and I watch as he leaves, his dark figure stepping out into the brightly lit corridor of the senate building.

I shake my head, turning back to face the other members of the senate, when suddenly, I feel ill. Dizzy, I stumble back, and Dormé catches me, her hand placed gently on my back. I smile at her, and she raises an eyebrow.

"I'll be okay," I lie, moving to pull the pod back out into the debate.

"No," Dormé says, stopping me. "You're heading right back to your quarters to lie down. You look terrible."

"I'm fine," I argue. "I can handle this."

Dormé presses an alert button on her bracelet, and several Nabooian bodyguards appear at the door. "You're heading back to your room."

I sigh, and step out of the pod, allowing the bodyguards to flank my sides and walk me back to the flat. They are stoic, and silent. Several representatives and servant droids watch me as I walk past them, confused since the vote hasn't begun yet. I shake my head, ashamed of having to leave early.

When I arrive back in my flat, the bodyguards take me to my room and tuck me into bed. One of them brings a bucket, just in case.

"Rest, M'lady," one of the guards says. "Take a rest a while."

I shake my head, but lay down, so that they might go away for a while. They leave as quietly as they possibly can, leaving me alone in the bedroom.

I lie there, staring up at the ceiling. Its so strange. I've been feeling sick for a few weeks now, but only for short periods of time. And for another thing, I haven't had my period in a while. I've never thought about it, really, but I should have had a period or two by now.

Could I be...

No, that's not possible. There's no way I could be pregnant.

Just for safety, I call Teckla to my room.

"What can I get for you, m'lady," she asks.

"This is going to sound strange. But I need you to pick up a pregnancy test for me."

She shakes her head. "That doesn't sound strange at all. I'll be back in a few minutes." She quickly leaves, her dress swishing behind her as she walks.

I roll over in my bed, onto my front. Its so strange, she wasn't even a little bit shocked that I was asking for a pregnancy test. I've never asked her for one before. Then again, she does know how much time Anakin and I spend together.

oOo

I stare at the small device's screen, shaking. I feel sick, like I'm about to throw up. I hope against hope that the device is wrong, that my result isn't what it says it is. A full minute passes, and the screen doesn't change.

Positive.

I'm pregnant.

I feel my legs giving out from under me, and I stumble to the floor. Shit. Shit. Shit, I can't be pregnant, not now. I don't understand what happened, we were so careful.

I don't even know how far along I am. How many periods have I missed, which night was the one to do it?

I run my fingers through my hair and step out of the bathroom, arms wrapped around myself like a hug.

"What's the result," Teckla asks.

I nod, without saying a word, and head back to my room. Teckla simply smiles, and congratulates me before moving on to do something. I throw myself onto my bed, and begin to shiver, violently.

What do I do?

oOo

A few weeks later

I have an abortion operation scheduled for this afternoon.

Not that I want to go. I certainly don't. It's only been a few weeks and I've already grown attached to the small growing life force inside of me. I know I should get rid of it, that it will ruin both Anakin's and my career, but I don't think I can bring myself to do it.

The Senate room empties slowly, the hall filling with the murmurs of the members talking about everything and nothing at the same time. Senator Organa and I walk side by side, and he glances over at me periodically. I know he suspects something. He cares about me. I know he values me as a colleague, and as a friend. But will he respect me if I speak to him about it?

Bail turns around completely now, a concerned look on his face.

"Senator Amidala," he asks, "what is your opinion?"

I shake my head and laugh a little. "Sorry, I completely zoned you out there. My opinion on what?"

Bail smiles. "The siege of the outer rim systems. We'll be voting on it in a few weeks."

"I hope it doesn't pass," I explain, "I don't want this war to escalate any further."

"Well put," Bail says.

I take a deep breath and take his sleeve. "Bail, I need to talk to you for a moment."

He smiles at me, and waves the rest of our group away, leaving us in the bustling senate hall. "Of course," he says, "you can tell me anything."

"This needs to be a private conversation."

He nods, and I lead him to a secluded area of the hall.

He looks at me expectantly, and I feel another rush of dread course through my stomach. Can I really tell him? Will he still respect me?

"Padmé, I'm here for you, whatever happens," he says, taking my hand. "What is it?"

"I'm- I'm..."

"What?"

"I'm pregnant," I force out.

Bail's eyes widen in shock. "May I ask who the father is?"

"No," I tell him, "but I need some help. I don't know if I should get rid of it or not."

"Do you want to keep it?"

"Of course," I cry, "but if someone finds out about us, it could mean serious consequences for him."

Bail nods. "Perhaps. But as long as you don't disclose who the father is, nobody will know. He's not carrying the baby."

Of course, I'd thought of that. But Jedi powers are genetic. I'm sure that the child I bear will be a Jedi, too.

"Padmé," he smiles, "if you're not sure, tell him about it. If he's as excited as you are to have a child, he'll work around it. If he's not, maybe it's time to end your relationship."

I shake my head. "I can't do that. I love him too much."

Bail sighs. "I can't tell you how to live your life, Padmé," he says. "I think it would be best to hold onto it until you see him next. Then you can decide on a solution together."

Wait. I'll have to wait until Anakin gets back. He may never come back in time, if at all.

"Thanks for your help," I say. "Please keep this conversation private from anyone but us. Not even Breha."

He nods. "I understand. I'll see you in a few days."

I watch him go, choosing to stay in my place in this tiny little corner of the hallway. Senators eye me sideways as they pass me, but I ignore them. Once the hall has cleared completely, I head back to the elevator. I don't know where to go, so I head to the Jedi temple. Maybe the Masters can help me find some peace.

I arrive at the temple and the young learners quickly surround me. Their large, sparkling eyes follow me as I approach the temple, and one of the older Jedi asks for my ID. I hand him the small device.

"Senator Amidala," a short, green Jedi says.

"Master Yoda, it's good to see you," I smile, turning to face the small man.

"Something we can help you with, is there?"

"I need some help," I say, "I've been quite restless recently, I was wondering if you could help."

The master nods. "Clear your mind of what troubles you, you must. Only then, find peace you will."

I nod, knowing that his words will not help. "Thank you, master."

Taking my ID back, I head back to the transport vehicle that brought me here. I should probably just take a nap.

I hope Anakin comes back soon.