JMJ
CHAPTER THREE: THREE YEARS LATER …
"No, it can't be true!" exclaimed Speedy clenching his fists together in dismay.
There was hardly a cloud in the sky. Not a giant robot had been heard along the streets of Little Tokyo in three years and three months. The last disaster had been the comet fiasco, and now there had been relative peace for the Pizza Cats and all the citizens aside from a few petty thefts and minor attacks. Mostly these were attempted by what remained of the ninja clan, but then they had not been unbeatable when they actually had leaders. Without Jerry and Bad Bird they were just a gang of punks, and that gang was still the worst of the enemies they had to scare off and barely touch. The Rescue Team was practically in early retirement. Nothing could possibly be wrong enough to warrant such a mournful outburst save perhaps that without anything to do aside from deliver pizzas and live daily life that poor Speedy had grown bored, nor could this fact come as a surprise knowing the extreme personality of Speedy.
"I'm afraid so," said Francine with a shrug.
"But what about eggos and pop tarts and crunchy peanut butter toasts?" cried Speedy.
"You could always have miso soup for breakfast like traditional people in Japan," said Francine. "You're not exactly getting any thinner, and there's nothing redeemable about high fructose corn syrup in eggos and pop tarts."
"You eat them too I've seen you!" said Speedy. He paused. "Am I really gaining weight?"
"Just a little," said Francine with another shrug.
"It's not bad enough that there's nothing to do around here anymore, but now there's nothing to eat around here either," moaned Speedy, and he leaned his elbow against the counter. Resting his head against his palm he let out a heavy sigh.
A playful smile appeared on Francine's face, and she wrapped her arms around her back. "Oh," she said knowingly. "You need something to do. Hmm." She held a finger to her chin in thought. "You know since it's a slow day today, I could use someone to clean out the bathroom stalls. They haven't been scrubbed in a while."
The fur on Speedy's body puffed out as though from the force of his bulging eye balls.
"Nyah! It's not like that, Francine!" he cried holding out his hands. "Honest. I just remembered I still have to do … uh … inventory. Yes! Inventory! Of all the toppings! I need to check those dates or who knows what'll happen in the bathrooms!"
"Oh, that's okay, Speedy," said Francine. "That's my job to make sure nothing's out of date."
"Oh!" exclaimed Speedy. "Well, you know it's been a long time since someone dusted the rafters on the second storey!"
Francine's smile grew wider and ever more wry. Although someone could clean the bathrooms all she really wanted was for Speedy to stop moping.
"Oh, and those dishes! They need to be more properly arranged for the dinner rush so we can take them out as fast as possible! Or how 'bout the grounds. Got to sweep up and all that!"
"Well, Speedy, it looks like you have a lot to do, after all," said Francine cheerily as she began to bob away. "Better get to it."
"Mheh …" Speedy moaned, but as no one came to force him right away to get to work all he did was lean on his palm again against the counter and let out another heavier sigh than before.
"That's not what I meant, and you know it," he muttered although Francine was long gone about a stray customer. "At least yesterday we had a good delivery day, but today? The toaster's busted, and I gotta do a bunch of boring extra jobs and maybe clean the bathroom. Could things get any worse?"
"Cheer up, Speedy," said Polly then with a sniff just appearing onto the scene. She grabbed a box of pop tarts from a shelf and ripped open the packaging. "You should be happy that nothing bad's been happening."
"Yeah," muttered Guido who had been all this time reading through a newspaper. "You know what they say, 'Careful what you wish for'."
"Who says that?" asked Speedy. "I'm not wishing for the Big Cheese to come back or anything … I just … I'm not unhappy. It's just—"
"Hey!" cried Polly pushing down the lever on the toaster over and over as fast as she could. "Why isn't the toaster working!?"
"It's busted," said Guido. "That's what Speedy's upset about."
"Well, then we'll have to get a new one!" Polly declared. "Are there any appliance sales in there?!" She rushed to look over Guido's shoulder.
"Hey," said Guido steadying himself. "No, there's no sale on appliances, but there's this. This looks different."
Polly read it, "'The Plum Good Fix: I fix anything in less than a half hour or my wallet.' It says it's located on the edge of town near the docks."
"Hey! That does sound good!" exclaimed Speedy pounding a fist into his palm suddenly in much better spirits. "At least if he can't fix it we'll get plenty of money to buy a new one."
Guido laughed. "That doesn't mean that he has much in his wallet, you know. It might be just a gag."
"It's worth a shot!" said Polly. "Besides I never heard of this guy before."
"What? Are you suspicious, Polly?" said Speedy with a grin.
"No," Polly retorted crossing her arms.
"You're the only one who's suspicious, Speedy," said Guido plopping down his paper.
"Oh, yeah?" challenged Speedy.
"Yeah, come on, get the toaster."
"And get back before eleven!" called Francine. "We'll need you for lunch!"
The boys promised they would as they zipped out the back.
"It would be kinda cool if it was some kind of cover up," sighed Polly leaning against the counter dreamily now in a similar fashion to how Speedy had been.
Francine poked in a smiling face. "Careful what you wish for, Polly. Besides if you have nothing to do there are the restrooms that need to be covered up in cleaner and—"
"That's not funny," Polly interrupted.
"Then in all seriousness, why don't you get Speedy to settle on a date for the wedding. It's been three years, after all."
For the most part unmoved, Polly leered at Francine with a pout. "That's none of your business."
"Alright, but you're letting a little too much time slide, don't you think?" asked Francine.
"Do you love him or not?"
Leaping upright and bright red with embarrassment Polly gasped. "I — I do! But he hasn't said anything about marriage! The guys are the ones who are supposed to bring it up! And he's … going through … super hero withdrawal right now!" And she slumped back against the counter with a huff. "I wish a little something bad would happen even if just to snap him out of it! Nothing big, just a little tousle, but something bigger than what's left of the Ninja Crows trying to rob a post office for birthday money."
Francine looked upon her friend with pity. "Still … it wouldn't be a good thing. We haven't had a real fight in so long I don't think we'd be ready for it." And she began to wipe the counter with a wet rag and some soap. "And that time they actually got away with some of that birthday money, you know."
#
"It doesn't look like much," said Speedy with a shrug as he gazed up at the purple neon "open" sign in the window.
Above the awning was written the ridiculous name of "The Plum Good Fix" also in purple, and below it in blackish purple read just as the newspaper had: "I fix anything in less than a half hour or my wallet".
"Well, at least it got us out of the restaurant," said Guido.
"And not on a delivery to Princess Vi," agreed Speedy with a grin. "Now that's a mess that no plum can fix."
Guido did not look all too amused, but after a strange glance he led the way inside, and the shop bells jingled to announce their entrance.
"Good morning, gentlemen!" exclaimed a cheerful but sophisticated voice from behind the counter, the owner of both voice and counter leaping out onto the floor with arms outstretched as wide as his goofy grin.
He looked more like a quack than his sophisticated voice let on although he had no relation to water fowl as happened to be a hawk. A pair of goggling glasses made him look more ridiculous still, and the sleeves of his white coat had to be rolled up into great bunches or else they would have likely dripped over the floor. He also had a pair of loafers over his taloned feet.
"Uh, good morning," said Guido giving Speedy a raised brow as if to say that he doubted this guy would be able to do much else aside from bust a few spark plugs.
"Can you fix our toaster?" Speedy demanded.
Crossing his arms sharply over his chest, the owner frowned as if deeply confused. "Did you read the sign?"
"Yes," said Speedy.
"Don't you believe that if I make a claim like that and couldn't live up to it I would be penniless by now and without a wallet?" asked the owner lifting a pretty hefty looking wallet from the pocket of his coat.
"You have a point," admitted Guido.
"Then have no worries!" exclaimed the owner snatched the toaster away so fast that Speedy gave a small cry of surprise. "I'll have it fixed before the next Pokémon episode ends."
"Is that a half hour?" asked Speedy.
"Twenty-one minutes to fit in the commercials," said the owner, and leaping round the counter he pushed down a button on a timer that began at exactly twenty-one minutes and counted down. "Sit tight and watch!" he called pointing to a television screen hanging down from one of the walls.
Shrugging the pair then sat down in a pair of tacky fake leather seats near four or five other chairs already occupied. They looked up at the screen across from them. It was smudged on one side, which was a little distracting, but they did not watch too closely.
"I stopped watching Pokémon after the first season of Black and White," said Speedy with a sigh.
"Pfft, I stopped watching after they changed their dub voices in Hoenn," said Guido.
Speedy made a face.
The owner meanwhile had zipped out of sight right through his workshop door and slammed it shut behind him. Once behind the door, the owner threw off his glasses and grinned a vile sort of grin. Strolling along with the toaster to another door with a hand-print entry lock, he entered into a vast underground laboratory down a flight of steps. He flew down the steps over the rail, and leaning back in an arm chair grabbed a screw driver from a table and began to unscrew the toaster.
"I could just trick everyone out of their money in the whole town and get revenge just as easily as crushing it down with a giant robot," laughed Dr. Purple. "The newspaper was hardly printed yesterday and nearly the whole town has come to my door already." (I forgot to mention the vast line that Guido and Speedy had to wait for to get into this place.)
"What would be the fun in that?" asked the Big Cheese. "I want explosions! Action! Fighting! Not me, of course, but robots and ninja crows verses Samurai Pizza Cats!" and the Big Cheese laughed. "I'm gunna go and check things out on the east side of town. I already checked the west last night. By the way what do you think of my disguise?"
Without looking up from his work Dr. Purple began to say, "It looks fi—" But he stopped quite abruptly as he took note in a flash of a pink and green shimmer in the direction of the Big Cheese's voice. Lifting his head he cringed as the street fashion girly outfit which happened to cover the Big Cheese's body.
"Nnnggh!" cried Dr. Purple and dropped a screw on the floor.
"Glad you think so," said the Big Cheese. "Well, see ya!" And with that he spun around for the secret back entrance of the lab.
"Ug! He's starting to give me the creeps your master."
"I told you," said Jerry with sniff. "He's not my master. I'm the master of a ninja clan, and right now if we're going to put this plan of ours into action I'm going to get Bad Bird and the other Ninja Crows prepared as quickly as possible. I hope they haven't become lax in my absence, but Bad Bird should have kept them in line until now. Hopefully they've been training with three years of not having a robot to build."
"Go ahead," said Dr. Purple with a shrug. "There's really no rush, though. No one suspects a thing. They think they've won. The whole city thinks they've won."
Jerry frowned. "The Big Cheese gets impatient. I don't want him to do anything stupid before its time."
"I heard that!"
#
"Well," said Speedy with a yawn, "it had nothing to do with their voices, it just kinda got to be one too many seasons for me, but I do have a theory."
"About what?" asked Guido throwing his arms leisurely behind his head.
"Team Rocket after Sinnoh."
"Oh, yeah?"
"Yeah," said Speedy. "I think old Giovanni replaced Jessie, James, and Meowth with robots after he fired them in the last episode in Sinnoh."
"I thought they didn't come down from orbit after blasting off in the last episode of Sinnoh."
"Well, whatever," said Speedy. "Besides I thought you didn't watch after they changed their voices."
"I glanced over your shoulder when you were watching them on YouTube," said Guido with a yawn.
"Hrmph," grumbled Speedy crossing his arms. "Well, anyway. I think Giovanni made robot replacements of them, and that's why they're completely different."
"I think that little girl is a robot that that smart kid made and went wrong," said Guido pointing the newer characters to the show on screen.
Speedy laughed. "Agreed! Of course, it might be just that we think of everything in robots with all those robots we had to fight for so long."
"Well, you know what I really think?" asked Guido.
"What?" asked Speedy.
"I think Pikachu has to retire," said Guido crossing his arms. "He lost against a first evolution water type. Age must be catching up with him."
"He needs a robot replacement more than Team Rocket," laughed Speedy, and he paused musing a bit. "Although … he does look pretty good for his age."
"It's done!"
Speedy and Guido spun around.
"It's barely been ten minutes," said Guido in surprise.
The owner laughed as he set the toaster on his counter. "Well, that's why I'm the best." He took a slice of bread from seemingly out of nowhere and pushing the lever down on the toaster he dropped it inside. "I even adjusted the temperature dials so that its perfectly set from 'warmed' 'lightly toasted' 'good and dark', and 'charcoal'."
"That was starting to become unpredictable, thanks!" exclaimed Speedy leaping toward the counter as the slice of bread came up at 'warmed' and it looked perfect. "How much?"
"That'll be …" said the owner scratching his chin. "Three hundred dollars even."
Thunder crashed.
"THREE HUNDRED DOLLARS!?"
"That's robbery!" cried Guido.
"We could buy seventeen toasters for that much!" exclaimed Speedy.
"We're not paying that!"
"Yeah! No way! Twenty bucks, maybe!"
"Not even that!" said Guido. "$11.95."
The owner closed his eyes. "Didn't you read my sign on the door?"
"What sign on the door!?" growled Speedy.
"The sign that listed all my prices," retorted the owner, and stepping out from behind his counter he promptly opened the front door. "See?"
He pointed to the prices.
Hurrying over the cats studied the prices, and it was true! Right on the door. Right smack dab where everyone could see. Didn't anyone else see it either? Small household appliance fix (any problem) for exactly three hundred dollars, and the prices went up from there.
The cats moaned.
"I've done nothing illegal," said the owner. "It's not my fault you can't see what's right in front of your face."
Part of Speedy and Guido wanted for nothing better than to punch the owner's lights out, but aside from the fact that he may press charges for such an act, they were, after all good guys, and although this mechanic may have ridiculous prices there truly was nothing illegal about his doings.
Oh, does it have to be so tough being a good guy? thought Speedy with a moan.