CW: Implied child abuse, ableism,
The next afternoon. Maya showed up with a suitcase. She looked nervous.
"Hi," Maya said.
"Hi," Shawn replied.
Topanga came in and searched the cabinets and bedroom.
"Okay, Hunter she's all yours. Take care of her!" She said pointing at him with her finger.
"Why did she do that?" Maya asked once the door was shut.
"She's worried about me doing the dumb things I used to do," Shawn explained.
"What dumb things did you use to do?"
"Self-destruct," Shawn said vaguely.
Maya nodded her head.
"Let's get your setup!" Shawn said.
They walked to the guest bedroom. Maya nodded. Maya looked unimpressed.
"We could go get something to put in here. So it can be your room whenever you need it." Shawn said feeling very distressed.
"Do you have any more of those pictures of us in the living room?" Maya asked.
"Definitely," Shawn said. He walked out. He pulled up a file that was titled old Matthews and Maya.
"Why old Matthews?"
"I have a few pictures of me and cory from when we were kids. I scanned everything I had from that time."
Maya nodded
"Pick anyone you like," Shawn told her.
There were pictures of her and Reily laughing. All the Matthews clan at Christmas. Maya, Riley and Shawn were laughing in lots of photos. A selfie took with Shawn was one of her favourites. Auggie dancing. Photos of Maya with her art.
"I like the one that's just you and me," Maya said.
"Then I'll print that." A picture on a photo paper spat out from the printer.
They thumbtacked it to the wall above her dresser.
"What's for dinner?" Maya asked.
"Umm, damn," Shawn said.
"What's wrong?"
"I'm not sure I really have dinner food."
"What's diner food?"
"Something besides sandwiches and cereal?" Shawn said awkwardly.
"Well, cereal for dinner is great. We'll go shopping tomorrow." Maya laughed.
The next day Maya walked out into the living room. It was Sunday so she didn't have school. Shawn was sitting cross-legged writing on the couch. Ignoring the perfectly good desk he had. He had a pencil in his mouth and one of his earbuds had fallen out of his ear.
"Hello," Maya said coming up behind him
He jumped, looking back he saw Maya's half asleep face, "Hey Maya.
"Not used to other people." Maya joked nervously.
"yeah. So breakfast?"
"Sure."
He made toaster waffles a personal favourite of both of them.
"You know its pretty exciting these are actual Eggos, brand name and everything." Shawn joked,
"it is pretty great." Maya smiled.
"Why did you want to stay with me and not the Matthews?" Shawn asked.
"I...I...Wanted to see what it would be like. To have you to myself, like a father..." Maya said eyes flitting between Shawn and her plate.
"oh."
Maya nodded.
"I get it, Maya. And I want to be here for you as much as you need." Shawn said placing his hand on her shoulder and smiling softly.
She smiled back.
They went to the grocery store as Shawn grabbed a basket Maya stopped and turned to him.
"Can you cook anything?" She said, "Becuase my mom burns pasta."
"I can cook pasta, meat sauce and everything. I can also make any soup or veggie that comes from a can or freezer package. Once I successfully made muffins."
"Then why don't you have any of that at your place?"
"I just don't do it?" Shawn said quizzically
Maya rolled her eyes at him, "Lazy!" She declared and walked to the pasta aisle.
It was partial laziness, but he had also learned to cook as an anti dissociation tool which made the whole thing feel like his recovery days versus just eating food. But he thought if he associated it with Maya it might feel different.
Maya convinced him to get ice cream and popcorn so they could watch a movie when they got back.
They watched Guardians of the Galaxy, and Maya decided that Shawn would make a very good guardian but an awful avenger which Shawn liked as he much prefered the Guardians "fuck it" philosophy.
Wednesday Maya came through the door after school calling "I'm home and tossed her book bag on the ground. She didn't hear Shawn she felt nervous but then she got a text,
"Stuck at work, but I figured you would be fine for an hour by yourself. Please don't eat all the ice cream."
Maya texted him she would be fine. She looked around for a while, but she couldn't resist being nosy and walked into Shawn room
The room was pretty basic and impersonal except the photos. She knew one was of younger versions of him, Topanga and Cory. But the other had two people she didn't know. She figured they must be his father and brother. She then saw a notebook hanging out of the pillow. She knew she really shouldn't read a book that was so clearly not meant to be read, but she was s rule breaker at heart.
Maya opened the book to the earmarked page.
It was an entry from the day she had come.
"It crazy that Maya is actually going to stay with me. I never thought I would get the chance to be like a father to anyone. I spent most of my life believing i was going to die young. The fear of being Chet or even Mr Turner is terrifying, I just don't want to ever let her down.
But there is also the problem of I'm not father material. The amount of meds to keep me from falling apart or being hunted by flashbacks and hallucinations. How is that good for Maya to be around?
I hope wanting and trying to be good to her will be enough, I hope I can be enough."
Maya let out a shuddered breath. And sat on the bed. That was a depressing as read.
"Fuck" she muttered under her breath. She closed the book and slid it back under the pillow. Maybe she really shouldn't be that nosy. She guessed she had suspected something like that, Shawn was clearly an emotional fucked up person but it was just hard reading something like that. Hallucinations? Flashbacks? She associated those things with crazy people and war veterans not a photographer in an apartment in new york.
She let out a breath and flopped on the couch. She flipped her phone over in her hand, she could, of course, call Topanga to ask her to pick her up. But she didn't really want to, she loved Shawn, he was the closest thing she had ever had to a dad, and she didn't want to lose him.
She turned on the tv and put a comedy special on. What could have been a fucking year passed and she jumped at the sound of the door opening.
"You locked the door. I must say im impressed."
"People would steal your stuff in my neighbourhood," Maya said, forcing a smile on her face.
"Maya whats wrong?" Shawn asked.
"Nothing," Maya said.
"I don't know if that usually works, but I know better." Shawn sat next to her kicking his shoes off.
"I read your journal," Maya said quietly.
Shawn sighed," Why would you do that?"
"I was nosy." She said.
"I'm sorry," Shawn said, unsure what else he could say.
"Don't be sorry," Maya said
"Do you want to leave?"
"I thought about it...but no. I love you even if you're crazy." Maya said and laid her head on his shoulder.
"Okay."
"Just warn me if you're going to like freak out kay?"
"Sure."
Maya spent Thursday afternoon with Riley and came into the apartment in a huff.
"Whats wrong?" Shawn asked.
"I am going to just I don't know blow something up!" Maya declared.
"Why are we blowing things up?"
"Becuase people aren't allowed to treat Riley like that." Maya snapped.
"what happened."
"Some asshole is bullying her," Maya said.
"Stop pacing and sit down. You're making me dizzy."
Maya flopped on the couch.
"Start from the beginning."
"Riley's been all wired in like an unriley way."
"okay,"
"we fought, which we do not do often. but eventually, I got her to tell me what was wrong. and some girl is picking on her. People aren't allowed to be mean to Riley."
"I agree. What are you going to do about it? and it can't include a felony."
Maya rolled her eyes and let out a breath through her nose.
"Okay. I know." She got up and went to her room.
Shawn went to her room a little while later to ask her if she had eaten at the Matthews, he assumed she had but he ought to ask.
He knocked on the door.
"Come in!" Maya yelled.
"Me and Riley, we're going to confront her."
"I recommend not doing anything that could get you kicked out of school or arrested," Shawn said.
"I won't." Maya smiled.
Shawn smiled back.
"Did you eat?"
"yeah, the Matthews are good about food."
Shawn nodded.
"By the way, this was all very fatherly," Maya called after Shawn, who couldn't help but smile.
Sunday came way to fast. When Maya left Shawn felt devastated. He had actually tasted what having a family would feel like. And now it was gone.
Katy came back the next morning.
"Maya's dad gave up his parental rights a long time ago. And I think you should have those rights. Joint custody with me." Katy said.
"Why? Because I took care of her for a week?"
"No, you've been taking care of her for over two years," Katy responded.
"You really think I could do that?" Shawn asked.
"Yes, I think Maya should have a father. She deserves that." Katy said with finality.
"I would love that." Shawn breathed out.