Chapter 4: AB Negative
"Mom, what blood type do you have?"
Emily has barely closed the door behind her when her schoolbag is already airborne and flies through the hallway, coming to a rest with a loud thud below the coat rack.
"Emily, what did I tell you about throwing your schoolbag around? Do you want to break your water bottle?"
"I drank it all, mom, and you can't deny I hit the target pretty well."
Scully sighs. Teenagers. They seem to overflow with energy and are never ready to listen to parental reasoning without having the last word.
"So?"
"So what?"
"What blood type do you have?" the girl asks again, impatience now evident in her voice.
"AB negative. Why do you ask?"
Emily's answer is an excited shriek. "Really? Wow, so do I!"
"How do you know?"
Scully knows her daughter's blood type, of course. She knows the blood types of every family member. She knows about every condition, every slightly raised parameter, every increased health risk one of them might possibly have. She performs their medical check-ups herself, unwilling to entrust her loved ones to someone else.
"We determined our blood types in biology class today and learned what it means for people to have a certain blood type. Like when it comes to blood donations or to what blood type your children will have. It was super interesting, and I found out I had AB negative. And you have it too! That is so awesome! I mean, it's the most seldom blood type in the whole world and we both have it!"
"What's so awesome about AB negative? If you listened to your teacher, and I'm sure it was mentioned in class, you would be aware that rhesus factor negative means you can only receive blood from a donor whose type is also negative, which means there aren't so many out there."
"But we can donate blood to each other, mom! Don't you see what a lucky coincidence that is? That we have the same type, I mean. If you were my birth mother, the chances would be quite high that you'd passed your blood type on to me, about 30 percent, but we aren't blood relatives, so this is like a lottery jackpot. I will always donate my blood to you, mommy," the teenage girl chirps sugar sweetly, placing a quick peck on Scully's cheek.
"I never want to see the day you're so severely injured you need a blood donation from me."
"But you could. Donate."
"Yes, and I most certainly would. I'd give my very last drop of blood to you if I had to, sweetheart."
"I can't believe what a coincidence that is!"
A thought captures Scully's mind with such a vengeance that she speaks it out loud enough for Emily to hear, although she most certainly doesn't intend to.
"It might be less coincidental than you think."
When Scully hears herself pronounce the words, she stills instantly. Shit, shit, shit, she thinks. That wasn't supposed to happen. A kernel of hope resides in her that Emily hasn't listened close enough, but she has, and of course, the teenager's interest has been piqued by the unconsciously mumbled words.
"Less coincidental than I think? In what sense?"
Scully heaves a heavy sigh. She's always known the day would eventually come she has to tell Emily about her procreation. Mulder and she have procrastinated the inevitable conversation waiting for the right moment, but the right moment has never presented itself. Until today. Today it's apparently coming forward.
"Actually, I didn't want to do this without Mulder," Scully tries to maneuver herself out of the tight spot one more time.
"Do what?"
"Tell you something about yourself you don't know yet."
"Which is what?"
"Like I said, your father and I planned to tell you together."
"But dad is in Europe for another two weeks for his book promotion, mom," Emily whines, "you don't want to wait until he's back now, do you?"
"I would if I'm being honest."
"No way! You can't suggest our blood types are the same by something other than coincidence and leave it at that. Because if it's not coincidental, it means it's hereditary, and this would consequently mean we were blood relatives. But you adopted me, we can't be blood relatives."
Scully is unable to form a reasonable response. She just holds her daughter's intense stare, the urge to protect her from all of the world's harm spreading through her entire body. She adopted her all those years ago to snatch her from a circle of men who had used her, to bring her to safety, to love her and to protect her, to give her a carefree life every three-year-old girl deserves. But as much as she wants to wrap her in cotton, to shield her from the unsettling events of her early life, she also knows adoptive children need to know about their roots. Every guide book tells you so. They are curious about their adoption story and their birth family.
Mulder and Scully have always been aware of that, and so it's never been a secret in their family that Emily is their adopted child. They have always spoken openly about how they started their family the very day they were given custody of her, how grateful they were that her birth parents had brought her into this world and made it possible for her to join them. The exact circumstances, the horrible truth behind the first three years of her life, have not yet been disclosed to her though. It has never seemed age-appropriate.
Scully is not sure that now that Emily has just turned fifteen, she's old enough to cope with it. She would prefer to discuss with Mulder if he thought their daughter was ready for her full adoption story, but he's out of the country and not available right now. She realizes she has to decide this on her own when the teenager asks her again, not hiding her determination to get an answer here and now. The girl seeks for confirmation that the world as she's seen it until this day is still the same, and Scully feels awful for having to tear down her daughter's house of cards.
"We are blood relatives, Emily," she says, painfully aware that this doesn't explain anything but is only going to raise more, bigger questions.
"We are blood relatives," Emily parrots, her face full of incredulity and disbelief.
"Yes."
"What do you mean we are blood relatives?"
"What I mean is..." Scully inhales deeply and closes her eyes when she speaks the meaningful words. "It means that I am your biological mother, Emily."
Again, the teenager needs to repeat what she's just heard for the information to sink in. She stretches the words apart, making a pause between every single one to give herself the time to process their meaning.
"You. Are. My. Biological. Mother."
"Yes," is all Scully is able to reply. How she wished Mulder was there to fill in the gaps.
If she knew the train of thought her one-word statement would put in motion in Emily's head, a train gathering speed by the second, she would fill the uncomfortable silence between them with an explanation. But she's clueless about the story her daughter is making up in her head, and so it hits her full force as if she was a fallen tree on the tracks.
"I see. You are my biological mom. You gave birth to me, you didn't want me, you gave me up, the Sims adopted me, and when they died you changed your mind and took me back. Like a neat accessory of some kind you learned to value only years later."
Emily narrates in such quick succession what she thinks had to be the course of events, Scully has no chance to intervene. The girl's voice is cold and full of reproach, so are her eyes when she looks at her mother.
"I take it that's what happened back then."
Scully really should have seen this coming. Teenagers Emily's age are struggling with their place in life, they are chronically self-conscious and prone to a low sense of self-worth. Her believing that she wasn't more than a fashion accessory to her, hurts Scully though. She's showered the girl with nothing but love and caring over the past 12 years.
"No. It's not what happened. I'm not your birth mother, I am your biological mother. That's not necessarily the same person," Scully explains but scientific nitpicks don't have the power to soothe the confused teenager.
"Not the same person? How can they be not the same person?" Emily huffs, fidgeting wildly with her hands.
Another sigh is again all Scully can manage. She's overwhelmed by her daughter's aggressive tone and her own incapacity to explain it all in an understandable manner. How come she's never thought about how to do this properly? Why have Mulder and she never talked about how to break the story to Emily? It must have something to do with how much they've dreaded this conversation.
Emily is on edge. Her voice is out of control when she yells at her mother.
"Mom! Would it be too much for me to ask for a bit more of an explanation?"
Scully's chin drops to her chest. She has to get her brain to work quickly or the situation will get out of hand. Much as she wanted to do this together with Mulder, there's no way their daughter will let her off the hook now. He will be away for another two weeks, she can't possibly fob Emily off with only parts of the story and wait with the rest until he's back. The girl needs the whole story now. All of it.
"Please let's sit down, Emily. This will take some time. It's a long story."
"I prefer to stand if you don't mind," the teenager answers, pointedly crossing her arms in front of her chest and lifting her chin.
"Please," Scully appeals to her, motioning to her to have a seat on the sofa, her eyes beseeching her daughter. "How am I to have a sincere, personal conversation with you if you are standing over there throwing daggers at me? Sit next to me, please."
Wordlessly, Emily sits down with her mother - adoptive, birth, biological or whatever kind - but her arms remain in front of her chest like a shield. She eyes Scully expectantly, albeit less dismissively.
Scully gathers her thoughts and decides to begin at the very beginning.
"You've heard of in-vitro fertilization, haven't you?"
"Sure."
"You were created with the help of IVF, Emily, and the egg which was used for the procedure was mine."
"What the-?"
Scully raises her hand to stop her. "Hear me out, please. There is more." She wipes her sweaty palms dry on her thighs before she continues. "My egg was used for the procedure, but not to implant it into my uterus. I didn't carry you, a woman we don't know the identity of did, someone called a surrogate mother."
"Oh great! One more to throw into the mix! Now you're telling I have a biological mother, a birth mother, an adoptive mother, two adoptive mothers actually, and a surrogate mother? That is just...so...crazy! Is there also a foster mother somewhere? A single mother? Stay-at-home mother? Working mother? Uncaring mother? Huh? How many different mothers are there in my life?"
She understands her daughter's anger, she really does, but that doesn't keep her from feeling offended by her accusations. None of this is her fault, Scully thinks. She's was mistreated by these men, abused, harmed, dehumanized, violated, just like Emily. The only mistake she might have made is not having told her earlier. But would it have been any easier one year prior? Two years?
Scully decides to ignore Emily's sarcasm, chalking it up to the exceptional situation the girl finds herself thrown into. She is reacting irrationally, she's overshooting because she's completely lost. That's okay. Scully knows that all she can do now is to explain everything to her in a rational and unagitated manner, so she continues, keeping her voice steady and calm.
"A surrogate isn't genetically related to the baby she's carrying and giving birth to. This woman was only ever meant to be a surrogate. She gave you up once you were born and the Sims adopted you. They became your legal parents. I didn't know I had a daughter until our paths crossed when you were three years old."
"I was created in a lab to be carried by some woman and later on adopted by another woman? And you had donated the eggs for it? Like in 'I was young and needed the money'?"
Emily's sharp voice cuts through Scully's heart. She realizes that as long as she gives her only bits and pieces, the girl is not going to see the whole picture and she will continue venting her anger on her, but the injustice done to herself, to the Sims, and most of all to the little girl who is now sitting in front of her a grown, young woman, is still nagging at Scully. Talking about it is like living through it all over again.
"Donate isn't the right word. They were taken."
Scully sighs at the pair of mute eyes staring at her.
"This isn't easy for me, Emily, I'm trying my best here, okay? Just listen to me without jumping to any conclusions. Can you do that?"
"Mmm," Emily hums and nods, probably beginning to understand she's not the only victim in this story.
Scully intertwines her hands and kneads her fingers. She's so tensed-up she feels every muscle in her body stiffen. She licks her lips before she speaks.
"You know Mulder and I worked on the so-called X-Files at the FBI, unsolved cases of an inexplicable nature. They not only led us to supernatural phenomena but also to man-made conspiracies. The men behind them were powerful and reckless, they carried out their plans and didn't let possible human casualties deter them. They used people, mainly women, to their selfish ends."
It feels like the walls are closing in, the room becoming smaller and smaller, the air vanishing. Scully gasps for breath like a fish ashore. "I was one of those women," she finally manages to croak. The last remark also holds true for Emily. The girl was treated like a lab rat just like Scully, but she would keep that from her as long as possible.
"During the first year of working on the X-Files, I was abducted and went missing for three months. I didn't have a clear recollection of what had been done to me when I was returned, I was just glad to be alive. We found out later that they had experimented on me and that harvesting my ova had been part of the program."
A shocked gasp escapes Emily's throat before she covers mouth with her hands in a gesture of fright. She shakes her head in obvious lack of a full grasp of the meaning of what her mother has just told her.
"Harvesting your ova?"
"They took the eggs out of my uterine tubes. Without my knowledge and most certainly without my consent. Later on, one of these eggs was used for an IVF procedure to create-"
"What?" Emily interjects indignantly, "they took your eggs out of your uterine tubes without your consent? That's rape, mom! They raped you!"
"Well-"
"I can't believe it! Your right of physical integrity had been severely violated! Who believes they can treat women this way? Only men! They abducted you and raped you! I-I...I just can't believe it!" Emily rants, totally absorbed by what happened to her mother.
"That's not the point, Em," Scully tries to draw her attention back to the initial subject matter: the girl's procreation.
"Not the point? Of course, it is the point! Patriarchal power used to mistreat women absolutely is the point, mom! We have to fight against the exploitation of female-"
"Will you please stop it, Emily!" Scully's loud voice cuts harshly through the juvenile tirade about gender inequality. "Much as you're right, I'm not interested in having this discussion right now, I want to explain my biological connection with you."
"I have a biological connection to my adoptive mother?"
"If you hadn't interrupted me but listened, you would understand already. You were created in-vitro with one of my eggs. Unbeknownst to me. A surrogate carried you in her womb and eventually bore you. You were then adopted by your first parents, the Sims, who were also unwilling participants of the same program. I didn't know I had a daughter living until we met when you were already three years old and had just lost your mother."
"How did you know I was your daughter?"
"I didn't. When I saw you, I noticed a resemblance to my late sister. You looked just like her when she was a girl. She was some kind of rebel, you have to know, did everything to upset my parents. She was estranged with them around the time you must have been born. I assumed she'd become pregnant with you unintentionally and that she'd given you up for adoption. I made the FBI lab run her DNA against yours and it showed a match, but one that qualified you as relatives, not as mother and daughter. They came up with a first-degree match anyway though, a match with a DNA sample stored in the FBI database."
"Yours," Emily concludes.
"Yes, mine," Scully groans. "I didn't understand a thing, of course. It was simply completely impossible that you were my biological child. I had been diagnosed as barren and assumed my infertility was a side-effect of my cancer treatment. I had never entertained the idea that my ova had been taken and was out there somewhere, being used by a group of unscrupulous so-called scientists to create babies in a highly unethical experiment. It was Mulder who cleared things up. He knew what had been done to me but had chosen not to tell me in an effort to protect me. I had been recovering from cancer and he wanted to spare me more bad news."
"Dad knew? Is he-"
"No. He's not your biological father."
"Did you run his DNA against mine too?"
"I didn't have to. I knew his blood type was 0."
Emily just needs a short moment to put two and two together. "I see. A mother with blood type AB and a father with blood type 0 would have a child with either A or B."
Scully smiles. "I expect nothing but a very good grade in the biology exam on blood types, young lady."
Emily smiles back for only a second, then her face turns earnest again. "So you found out I was your biological child. What did you do?"
"Your parents had both passed and you were very sick. I thought my status as a federal agent, my profession as a medical doctor, and the DNA proof of our genetic relatedness would entitle me to get custody of you, but they wouldn't give it to a single woman. So Mulder, who was my FBI partner and also best friend, offered to get married."
"You two married just so you could get custody of me? Not because you loved each other?"
"Well, I guess he liked me a little bit to make the offer," Scully says, remembering how flummoxed she indeed was when Mulder proposed, and how flattered.
"Why would he do that if he wasn't in a romantic relationship with you?"
"As I said, he was my best friend and he knew how much I wanted to be your mother. He wanted to do me a favor, but he didn't do it only for me. He also hated the idea that some distant aunt who'd never cared about you would be your legal guardian."
"I take it he also liked me a little bit," Emily offers with a shy smile.
"Oh, he totally adored you from the first moment he saw you, sweetie."
"So, let's see if I'm getting all of this right. You are my biological mother and became my adoptive mother later on, but you're not my birth mother. Dad is my adoptive father with no genetic relation to me whatsoever. William is my half-brother because we have the same biological mother. He is dad's and your biological child, one you conceived naturally, carried and gave birth to."
"Uhm, well...yeah, that more or less covers it."
The teenager chuckles. It's not a bitter or sour chuckle, rather an amused one. "This family is one of a kind, really."
"It is. The best I can imagine," Scully whispers, tear-stricken.
Emily has completely eased up by now. She's calm and composed, bereft of the consternation and anger of a few moments ago. Her hands, with which she had encircled her upper body to shield herself from her mother at the beginning of their talk, rest peacefully in her lap now. She reaches out and places her palm on her mother's hand, squeezing it softly.
"I'm glad I share your DNA, mom."
"Because I'm able to donate blood to you?" Scully's deadpans.
"No, that's only a plus," Emily retorts with a sheepish grin before she continues with sincerity, "I'm glad I share your DNA because you're a wonderful person. You're intelligent, you're strong, you're pretty. I hope I inherited some of your qualities."
"You don't need any of my qualities, Emily. You have your own and you're wonderful just as you are. I can't think of a better daughter."
"I'm touched by how you fought for me when you found out who I was. That you married someone you weren't in love with just to get custody of me."
"Wellll, that is another story."
"What is?"
"Whether or not Mulder and I were in love with each other when we got married."
"But you said-"
"I said we weren't romantically involved, not that we didn't love each other."
"Uh, where's the difference again?"
"There's a little technicality I'm not willing to explain right now."
"One day?"
"Why don't you ask your father when he gets back?"
No way is Scully going to tell her daughter the story of how their marriage slowly shifted from being one on paper only to one being passionately consummated. Mulder can do it. He's been spared breaking the adoption story to their daughter, he can as well explain to her how two people can be deeply in love with each other for so many years, get married for a higher cause without ever having been intimate, only to eventually surrender to the inevitable and allow romance to take over.
"Mom?" Emily stops Scully's train of thought. "Would you really donate your last drop of blood to me?"
"Of course."
"I would donate my last one to you too."
"I wouldn't let you."
"Why?"
"Because although I haven't given birth to you, you are my child, and mothers sacrifice themselves for their children if need be, not the other way around."
"Hmmm."
"One day, when you have children of your own, Emily, you will understand."
Children hate nothing more than being told that they are too young to understand, but Emily doesn't seem to mind at this moment. She's pensive, processing what she's come to learn. It will need some time for her to grasp the whole concept of her very special connection to the family she's a part of.
"Mom?"
"Yes?"
"I understand that you've kept this from me. This is huge, and it would've been too much to deal with for me at a younger age. Thanks for being so...protective, always, and thanks for telling me today although dad wasn't here."
"You deserved to know, Em."
"When I ask dad, will he tell me about the part he played in this?"
"I'm sure he will."
"You're good parents. The best. I want to shoot you to the moon sometimes but I'm glad you found me and that you made me a part of your lives."
Scully is at a loss for words. She pulls the teenager to her chest and embraces her so tightly, Emily can hardly breathe and has to tell her to let go at some point. Only unwillingly does Scully release her daughter, not without pressing a kiss into her hair, sighing, "I love you to the moon you want me to shoot to and back, snugabug."
"Jeez, mom, promise me to never call me that in front of my friends! It'd be so embarrassing!"
Scully has to chuckle. "I promise...Emily."
The dark spell that lasted heavily on them for the past half hour is broken. They are back to their usual mother-daughter-selves, only that something that laid dormant between them has been shuffled out of the way. Scully is immensely grateful the taboo issue has eventually been addressed and talked about.
It was time.
From here, everything will be straightened out and they can continue their path together as mother and daughter. No further labels attached.