Chapter 22 – Heart of Darkness
Tim McGee
"Hey," Tony said, as they stepped through the front doors of their building, shaking and stamping off the snow as they did. Tim handed the night doorman, a burly young man named Joseph Wilkes, a Christmas tip as he opened the door for them. Wilkes tipped his hat in thanks as they entered the dimly lit lobby. "So, I've been meaning to ask, but with what happened tonight, it slipped my mind. And I know that it is a little late, but would you mind if Ziva spent Christmas with us too? I kinda already told her that she could come. I figured that since we're having Gibbs…"
"And Hollis," Tim added as they crossed the empty lobby towards the elevator. "Gibbs said he was bringing her while you were backstage visiting with Ziva."
"He didn't ask?" Tony asked affronted. "And you didn't argue?"
He looked at Tony incredulously. "Would you tell Gibbs he couldn't bring his girl?" Tim asked.
Tony blinked and replied, "Good point. So, you'll have Abby and Gibbs'll have Hollis. One more won't hurt. We have plenty of food and with Ziva, I won't be the odd man out. Literally."
He looked at Tony, puzzled. "Isn't she Jewish?"
"She is," Tony replied. "What's that matter?" he asked defensively.
"It doesn't," Tim replied hastily. "It's just that we're celebrating a religious holiday and it isn't her religion. I wouldn't want her to feel, I don't know, awkward?"
"Just because she doesn't celebrate the holiday doesn't mean she can't enjoy the spirit of the holiday. You know, peace on earth good will towards men. Spending time with friends and family. That's not just a Christmas thing"
"True," he conceded.
"And Hanukkah starts tomorrow too," Tony said. "Well today," he added when he realized that given the time, it was tomorrow already. "And she doesn't have anyone to spend it with."
"We're not Jewish," he replied without thinking.
"Thank you," Tony said sarcastically. "I didn't realize."
But before he could explain himself, they reached the elevator. The night bellman, a pudgy kid named Dallas, was reading a book by a small lamp. "Morning Dallas," he said startling the kid.
Dallas hastily set the book down, allowing him to read the title. Around the World in Eighty Days by Jules Verne. "Morning, Mr. McGee. Mr. DiNozzo. Late night I see," he said as he quickly opened the door to the elevator for them.
"We were at a Christmas Party," he said as they entered the elevator. After Dallas pulled the door shut, he started the elevator. "Are you enjoying the novel?" he asked.
"Oh yeah!" Dallas said. "It's amazing. I'd love to travel to the world. Too bad I'm not rich like Phileas Fogg."
"You could always try to get hired on as a valet," he said as they reached their floor.
"That's not a bad idea!" Dallas said as he opened the door. "Thanks." Suddenly Dallas' brows wrinkled in thought. "Uh do people still hire valets?"
"Guess you'll have to do some research," he said as he handed Dallas a tip. "Merry Christmas, Dallas."
Dallas looked at the ten-dollar bill and beamed. "Thank you, Boss!"
"Boss?" Tony asked as Dallas shut the elevator doors and returned to the lobby.
He shrugged. "Pringle calls me that too," he said. "I have no idea why though," he said. Tony grinned but before his friend could make fun of him, he picked up their conversation from before. "When I said we weren't Jewish, I didn't mean it like I didn't want her to share her holiday with us," he said. "I meant that I have no idea how you celebrate Hanukkah."
"Well we can share our Christmas with her and she'll share Hanukkah," Tony said as they started to walk down the hall. "She's even offered to cook us a traditional Hanukkah dinner tonight and she'll help you cook Christmas dinner tomorrow."
"Oh," he said as he fished for his keys in his pocket. Unfortunately, he seemed to have a hole in his coat pocket and his keys were now somewhere inside his coat lining along with whatever change he had in his pocket. "That sounds nice." He idly wondered what a traditional Hanukkah meal included. "She doesn't need to help with Christmas dinner though. I've told you before; I have this in hand Tony."
He had done enough research that he was confident he could pull off their Christmas meal even if he had never cooked a turkey in his lifetime. Between Anne's detailed instructions, her recipe for an apple stuffing and everything he had learned from the cooks at Quicksilver, he was sure that he had everything in hand.
"I know but she wants to help," Tony said. "And I figured it wouldn't be a bad idea to have a backup plan."
He stopped and glared at Tony. "I can cook, Tony."
"I know. You're pretty good at the whole domestic thing. Doesn't mean I won't tease you," Tony replied. Tony looked at him in confusion. "What's the problem McGee?"
"I have a hole in my coat pocket," he said as he continued to fish for his keys. He found a couple of quarters which he transferred to his other pocket. "I can't find my keys." Tony snorted. "You could dig yours out you know," he offered drolly.
"And miss you do the Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairies?" Tony asked with a laugh.
He glared at his partner and decided to change the subject. "You've been spending a lot of time with Ziva lately. And if she's coming over today and helping with dinner tomorrow, does that mean she's staying the night?"
"That was the plan," Tony replied. "It doesn't make sense to pick her up from her apartment, bring her here, take her home just to pick her up again."
"We don't have a spare bedroom," he said with a smirk.
"So?" Tony asked evasively.
"Where's she going to sleep, Tony?" he asked.
"I'm going to sleep on the couch," Tony said insistently.
"Why?" he asked without thinking. He stopped looking for his keys and looked at Tony in surprise.
"What do you mean, why?" Tony asked.
"I would think that the question speaks for itself," he said. "Why aren't you sleeping with her? I mean, she's practically throwing herself at you. Didn't you hear that song she sang? The one about body and soul?"
"I heard," Tony retorted sharply.
"And it isn't like you've ever been shy with the ladies," he continued. "Need I remind you of every Spanish señorita, French mademoiselle, or Italian signorina you slept with? Because you told me about each of them."
"I know," Tony replied. "You want to know why I'm not sleeping with Sheba like Ziva?" He blinked and stared at his partner trying to determine what Tony meant by that. "You know. Like the Queen of Sheba?" He shook his head and Tony looked at him, exasperated. "The movie, McGee."
"The Queen of Sheba," he said realizing what Tony meant. "That silent movie you dragged me to in Italy," he said dryly.
"Bettie Blythe," Tony said fondly. "Beautiful and sexy."
"And half naked," he added dryly.
"Yeah," Tony said with a grin. "You should be grateful we saw that in Italy. They cut those parts out of the version shown here."
"Why aren't you sleeping with Ziva, Tony?" he asked bringing them back to the original conversation. He was tired and eager to get to bed. It had been a long day. He started to dig for his keys again.
"You," Tony retorted, stopping him.
"Me?" he asked incredulously.
"I know I do dumb things when I get dizzy with a dame and I can't risk that right now," Tony replied. "Not with the stakes so high. I won't risk your life just so I can have a bit of horizontal refreshment." He stared at Tony in shock. "I know, it's not like me."
"It isn't," Tim replied, impressed and humbled that Tony was taking his safety so seriously. "But even if you did, you know, with Ziva, I would still trust you to have my back," he said sincerely.
"I know and I don't take that trust lightly, Tim," Tony said. "Which is why I won't risk it."
"So, you haven't…" he trailed off leaving his question unasked. "Since you've become my body guard?" Tim asked.
"No," Tony replied.
He laughed, which clearly wasn't the reaction that Tony had expected. "That explains a lot," he replied. "Especially with me and Abby. You're jealous."
"Don't rub it in," Tony muttered. "When this is all over, you're gonna owe me big time for this."
"What for?" he asked incredulously. "I didn't ask you to take a vow of chastity when you became my bodyguard." Tony frowned. "Look, I appreciate it that you think it'll be better if you don't sleep with Ziva. For the record, I think you're wrong," he said as he began to search for his keys again.
Tony shrugged. "It's not that simple Tim." He glanced at Tony. He looked like he wanted to say more but he changed his mind. "It's not exactly easy for me to attempt to have a normal relationship with my job. How do we go out when I've got to spend all my time with you? We only get to have fleeting moments between her sets or dinner in her room. If she does stay, this'll be a big step forward for us and we've never even been on a real date. I can't exactly get to know her that way."
He looked at his partner sympathetically. Between his undercover assignment and his job as a bodyguard to Napolitano's accountant, Tony didn't get much time for a social life. But he didn't think that was the whole reason for Tony's caution. He wondered if it had anything to do with the strange rumors he had heard about Ziva's mysterious past.
Finally, he closed his hand on his keys. He pulled them out triumphantly and closed the remaining distance to their apartment door.
"I know I'm not always the best judge when it comes to women but I think Ziva really likes you Tony." Tim grinned at his friend's hopeful expression. He made a mental note to get Tony to take Ziva out on a real date sooner rather than later. "I'm surprised at you, Tony," he said as he inserted his key into the door. "I'm surprised you asked before you invited her over. Not by much, but you did ask," he said as he poked his friend in the chest.
"Well you always ask before you bring Abby over," Tony pointed out as he swatted his hand away.
"That's because it's polite. But that's not normal for you," he retorted. "Maybe Ziva is a good influence on you."
"Can we have this conversation inside instead of in the hallway?" Tony asked, finally frustrated that he hadn't opened their door yet. "If we're going to continue talking about our sex lives, or my lack of one, I'd prefer to make this a private conversation. Who knows which of our neighbors are listening in on us?"
"At half past four in the morning?" he asked. Tony glared at him. Still smiling, he returned his attention to the door. Suddenly his smile disappeared. "Tony," he said as he looked down at the door. "The door is unlocked," he whispered. "I know we locked it this morning."
Alarmed, Tony drew his weapon. He quickly followed suit. Tony looked at him and when he nodded, Tony opened the door and slid inside.
The apartment was dark and ominous. Very little light from the street lamps managed to filter through the curtains which they had pulled closed that morning hoping to keep the cold out. Most of the light came from the hallway but it only illuminated a sliver of their apartment.
Tony motioned for him to stay put then towards himself and the bathroom. He nodded in understanding. He would watch the door while Tony investigated the apartment. Tony cleared the bathroom and started towards his bedroom when suddenly someone tackled Tony from behind. Tony crashed to the floor and he heard a gun skitter off into the darkness.
He took several steps out of the doorway so that he wouldn't be backlit and make an excellent target. Then he took aim at the two men fighting but didn't have a clear shot, not to mention he didn't know which dark form was the intruder and which was Tony.
Suddenly a voice said, "Enough!" Someone had gained the upper hand. One man was on top of the other.
He heard a gun click as the hammer was drawn back. He removed the safety from his pistol and carefully edged into the room and turned on a light. A man had Tony pinned to the ground with a gun aimed at the back of his head. Tony looked up at him as best as he could from his prone position.
"Put the gun down or I'll shoot," he said firmly.
"What makes you think I won't shoot first?" the man asked as he pressed the gun into the back of Tony's head. Tony winced.
"Because Mr. Napolitano would be extremely pissed if you killed my bodyguard, Boone," he said realizing who he was dealing with. "And he wouldn't begrudge me killing an intruder in my apartment even if it is you. So, if you would like to live, I suggest you let him up." Boone didn't move. "Now," he added coldly.
Boone smiled and pulled the gun away from Tony's head. He eased the hammer into place and replaced the gun in the holster at his side. Boone eased off Tony's back and allowed Tony to get up.
Tony rolled over and stood up. He took a moment to straighten his clothes then glared at Boone for a moment before he suddenly decked the man.
Taken by surprise, Boone was thrown from his feet and slid backwards until he came to rest near the wall. From the floor, Boone rubbed his jaw. "What was that for?" Boone demanded.
"Breaking into our apartment," Tony said as he retrieved his weapon and then shut the door to the hallway. "What the hell were you thinking?"
"I couldn't exactly loiter in the lobby waiting for you to get home and it's too cold to hang around outside," Boone said acidly. "Where the hell have you been anyway, Gemcity? I've been waiting for hours for you to come home."
"It's none of your damn business, Boone," Tony retorted. "Where he goes and when he returns home doesn't matter one bit to you."
Boone climbed to his feet and rubbed his jaw. He looked at little off-balance from Tony's punch.
"It is my business when he's in charge and I need to speak with him," Boone replied.
"In charge?" Tony asked looking at him.
He shrugged as he pulled off his overcoat and draped it over the sofa. "I guess I didn't mention that," he said as he tucked his pistol back into its holster.
"No. You didn't," Tony replied obviously surprised.
"If you must know, I was at Quicksilver's Christmas party," he replied as he approached Boone. He would explain everything to Tony later. Right now, it was more important to figure out why Boone had broken into their apartment, how long he had been there and if he had found anything incriminating.
Boone smiled salaciously. "I did hear that you and Miss Sciuto are a thing. She's quite beautiful." Boone licked his lips thoughtfully. "You are a lucky man, Mr. Gemcity. I would give a King's ransom to see what's under the makeup. To see what makes her tick. To have some fun with her."
Infuriated, Tim lurched forward and slammed Boone against the wall, pinning him in place with his forearm across Boone's neck. Boone struggled against him and tried to break his stance. They seemed to perform an odd dance until he successfully pinned Boone's leg to the wall. He drew his pistol and pressed it against Boone's ribs which caused Boone to cease his struggle.
"I know your track record with women Boone," he said. His voice was low and menacing and to be truthful, he surprised himself with the venom in his voice. "You can keep your slimy thoughts and your hands well away from her or I will kill you every bit as slowly and painfully as the women that you've murdered," he said firmly.
"Napolitano keeps you around because you are useful but you aren't so valuable that you can't be replaced with someone far less unpleasant and with a better hobby. If you come anywhere near Abby I will kill you. Understand?" He shoved Boone against the wall harder, choking him slightly. "Understand?" he demanded.
Boone nodded. He held Boone for a moment longer before he let him go and quickly stepped backwards out of reach. Boone gasped for air and rubbed his neck but he didn't make a move to attack him again. After a moment, Boone looked up and smiled. This time, however, the leer was not present. "I'll consider myself warned, Gemcity," he said as he continued to rub his throat.
He backed up and glanced at Tony. Tony was startled by his reaction and he was looking at Tim for an explanation. But he shook his head slightly. Later, he mouthed. Returning his attention to Boone, he asked, "So what do you want Boone?"
"You are aware of the leaks in Mr. Napolitano's network," Boone said. He nodded. "I was to plug one of those leaks tonight. First the leak then those close to the leak as a warning to others: you don't betray Jimmy Napolitano."
He nodded as he replaced his pistol in its holster. "I know. So why are you here?"
"The leak got away," Boone replied. "The morons I took with me can't tie a knot to save their lives."
"The leak got away," he repeated. "You let him get away?"
"I didn't let him get away. My incompetent partners let him get away," Boone said acidly.
"Oh sure. Blame the help," Tony said. "It's never the fault of the guy who's in charge."
"Where is he now?" he asked ignoring Tony's barb. Right now, he was in charge and he had to keep up the appearance that he was attempting to find the leak.
"Couldn't tell you," Boone replied as he crossed his arms defensively. "He escaped and collected his ex-wife and kid and disappeared. That's too bad too." Boone looked thoughtful. "I was looking forward to her. I love redheads and their fiery personalities."
He repressed a shudder. Boone was even creepier in person.
"You were supposed to kill a kid?" Tony asked as he glanced at him.
Tim shrugged. "That's why Mr. Napolitano uses Boone. He's heartless," he said coldly. "You did try to track him, didn't you?"
"Of course I did," Boone retorted. "I'm not a fool. I've been doing this far longer than you have." He motioned for Boone to continue. "I knew he'd go straight to his ex-wife's house but when I got there, I found the two idiots who were supposed to hold her for me tied up in the sitting room. They were long gone."
"Is that all you did?" he demanded, hoping he sounded angry enough. "Did you put out word among our associates that we're looking for this fellow? Or have you just been sitting in our apartment for the last few hours?"
"No," Boone said glaring at Tim. "I've been looking for him while trying to reach you by telephone." Again, he motioned for Boone to continue. If Boone had been trying to reach him by telephone, hopefully that meant Boone hadn't been here long. "His car was found abandoned at the docks but there were no signs of him or his little girl. The dock workers didn't see who left the car."
"We've got eyes on his friends and family and we're watching the train station to make sure he doesn't try to skip town," Boone continued. "And I've alerted our other source. If the leak looks to his boss for help, we'll know."
"Bureau?" Tony asked.
"You know, DiNozzo, you're better off not worrying your pretty little head over matters you don't and can't understand. Leave this up to the big kids and stick to your guard dog duties," Boone said as he glared at Tony.
He watched as Tony's jaw clenched and he thought he heard a slight growl from his friend. Boone smiled, his point made.
"Boone means that his target worked for the Bureau, Tony," he said. "So, you're talking about Tobias Fornell."
Boone examined him critically. "You know about Fornell?"
"Fornell was sent to recruit me. I knew he was a cop from the moment I met him," he replied. Boone looked surprised. "What? You think that I didn't peg him? Fornell has cop written all over him. I'm not an idiot Boone."
"You weren't suspicious that he was offering you a job?" Boone asked incredulously. "You weren't worried he was trying to take you down?"
He paused for a moment. "That did cross my mind. But I got the impression that he had got himself into trouble. He didn't seem happy to be recruiting me and he told me not to take the job. However, personal economics dictated otherwise." He smiled slightly. "I think I came out on the good end of things. Do you know what he did to get himself into Napolitano's service?"
"Not him," Boone replied. "His wife. Well ex-wife. She liked to live the high life and took out loans she couldn't repay. Fornell took over paying her debt. In return for information, Napolitano would reduce the debt."
"And when Fornell got tired of repaying, he figured he'd get rid of his debt by getting rid of Napolitano," Tim finished. "Too bad for him, that didn't work either. Now he's got a death sentence hanging over his head. Ok." He glanced at his watch. "It's five o'clock now. Mr. Napolitano was on the Pennsylvania Limited. He won't arrive in New York for another hour yet. I'll contact him at noon to inform him of the situation. You keep looking for Fornell and his family and inform me the moment you find them." Boone nodded. "You better hope that you find them before I phone Mr. Napolitano," he said as he pointed at Boone.
"Very well," Boone said. He walked over to the coat tree and collected his coat and hat. He frowned as he realized how much Boone had made himself at home. "Happy Christmas gentlemen," Boone said acidly.
"Boone," he said causing the man to stop in his tracks. "Don't you break into our apartment again. If you do, it'll be the last thing you ever do on this earth."
Boone smiled. "Noted, Mr. Gemcity."
"Tony," he said. "Why don't you see Mr. Boone to his car?"
Tony looked at him and nodded. "Yeah." He motioned for Boone to walk ahead of him.
The moment the door shut, his knees buckled and he was forced to grab the sofa to stay upright. He took a couple deep breaths in an attempt to compose himself. When he was able to support himself, he hurried to the window and watched. A few minutes later he saw Tony escorting Boone to a car parked nearby. They exchanged words before Boone got into his car. After Boone drove away, Tony stayed rooted in place, watching as Boone drove down the street.
Satisfied that Boone was gone, he returned to his bedroom and checked the secret compartment under his bed where he kept the duplicate ledgers. The drops of wax he used to ensure that no one had been in his hiding place were still intact. So, if Boone had been searching their place, he hadn't found the ledgers.
Breathing a sigh of relief, he made his way to their small liquor cabinet. He poured himself a drink with a shaking hand and tossed it back. He refilled his glass again and poured a drink for Tony. He wasn't usually one to use alcohol as a crutch but this had been a particularly tough day and the burning sensation as the liquor slid down his throat was cathartic.
By the time Tony returned, he was steadier on his feet, had regained his composure and was grateful that his partner hadn't witnessed his partial meltdown.
Tony locked the door and held up his hand to hold Tim in place. He watched as Tony walked into the kitchen to check the rest of the apartment. Then Tony checked their bedrooms and the bathroom again for good measure. When Tony was satisfied that their place was secure, Tony joined him.
He handed Tony the drink. "You read my mind," Tony said as he accepted the glass. "I talked to Dallas. He said he heard someone knocking on our door about twenty minutes ago when he dropped off the Kevin and Audrey Daly on our floor. He didn't bring anyone up so he checked it out but no one was here and he didn't find anyone in the stairwell. He figured he had been hearing things and returned to the lobby."
"What about Wilkes?" he asked.
"He got a good look at Boone when I escorted him to his car," Tony replied. "He's sure he didn't let Boone into the building. I did a search and it looks like the back door was picked. I found fresh footprints in the snow."
"He must have come up the stairs if Dallas didn't bring him up," Tim said.
Tony nodded. "Dallas confirmed he didn't bring anyone up other than the Dalys."
"So, Boone was here maybe ten minutes before we got here," he said. "Small comfort. At least he didn't have long to look around our place." He walked over to the sofa and sat down heavily. "The ledgers are still safe. The wax seal is in place."
"Good. But we'll have to check the place over anyway," Tony said. He nodded in agreement. "So that's Napolitano's hatchet man you were talking about."
"I'm surprised you didn't know about Boone," Tim replied. "He's Napolitano's worst kept secret."
"I knew the name but I didn't have details," Tony said. "Conversations tend to change topic when his name is brought up. Since he wasn't a bootlegger, I didn't press. I didn't want to seem too interested in someone no one wanted to discuss." Tony looked towards the door. "He's one creepy bastard."
He snorted. "You don't know the half of it."
Tony looked at him appraisingly. "That was some reaction when he brought up Abby." He frowned. To be truthful, he had frightened himself with his reaction. "What does he do for a hobby?" Tony sat down next to him.
"You really don't want to know," he replied darkly as he raised the glass to his lips. Tony grabbed his arm stopping him from drinking and looked him in the eye, demanding an answer. He was reluctant to tell his friend. He half suspected that Tony might track Boone down and kill him.
But when he saw the concern on his friend's face, he caved.
Sighing, he said, "I don't know all the details but Jimmy has let enough information slip for me to get a good idea. Aside from his paid hatchet work for Napolitano, he goes after women." Tony looked puzzled. "He kidnaps them, tortures them, probably rapes them, and then kills them." He closed his eyes and ran a hand through his hair. "His total is probably somewhere in the neighborhood of twenty-five or thirty women."
Tony's eyes bugged out. "Twenty-five women?" he asked incredulously. "How the hell hasn't that made the news? There ought to be a manhunt going on for a serial killer."
He shook his head. "The problem is, Tony, their bodies haven't turned up. He's got some secret dumping ground. Since they just go missing, it just looks like they run off or something. His victims are usually prostitutes. I've heard that's what his mother was and he resented her for it."
He downed his drink in disgust. He looked at the glass. The two drinks in combination with his lack of sleep were hitting him harder than he had expected. He already felt a little tipsy. But the worst part was that he felt like he needed another. And he was very close to getting up to get it. But as easy as it would be to drown his problems in liquor, he knew that wasn't a solution so he remained seated. He set his glass onto the coffee table and pushed it into the middle of the table for good measure.
"Why does Napolitano keep him around then?" Tony asked noting his behavior. "He might be a gangster but he's a decent guy." He looked at Tony incredulously. "Well, mostly. Napolitano is a lot of things but like you've said, he has a code of honor. Why would he keep a man around who murders women?"
He snorted derisively. "Even Jimmy is appalled but he won't cut Boone loose. Personally, I think Jimmy is too afraid to fire him."
Tony downed the remainder of his drink and he too pushed his glass into the middle of the coffee table. "I can see why. And I see why you went after him. If I knew that scumbag was leering at Ziva…"
He smiled grateful for the diversion. He opened his mouth to bring up Ziva again but Tony cut him off.
"Don't change the subject, Tim," Tony said. Tony looked at him seriously. "Did Napolitano leave you in charge while he's gone for the holidays?"
He felt the smile drop off his face. He sighed and rested his arms on his knees. He was suddenly feeling sick to his stomach. "Yeah. He did."
Tony stared at him for a full minute. "Why didn't you say anything tonight?" Tony asked. "You know, when we were at Quicksilver."
"How exactly do you bring that up?" he asked as he looked at his partner. Concern was written all over Tony's face. "It isn't something easy to work into the conversation."
"You could have told me in the car," Tony countered.
He shook his head and glanced back at Tony. "I was still trying to process it, Tony," he said. "Jimmy asked me to keep an eye on things only just before he left. And he had just told me he was going to deal with the leak. I was worried about Fornell and his family."
"Now I know why you were in such a bad mood on the way to Quicksilver," Tony said. He snorted. Bad mood didn't even scratch the surface of what he was feeling right now. "You should have told me, Tim. I can't help you if I don't know you're in trouble."
"I know," he replied. "But once we got to Quicksilver, I pushed it out of my mind. The last thing I wanted to talk about tonight was work. I just wanted to enjoy dinner with my friends. It's Christmas and you guys are the…" He stumbled as the emotions seemed to get caught in his throat. "Since my dad…you guys are the closest thing I have to family."
"Tim," Tony started but he didn't know what else to say.
He looked at Tony. "This mission hasn't been easy for me," he said. "The numbers and math is the easiest part. It's the other stuff. It's the human toll that gets to me. Good people like Fornell, Diane and Emily have to run for their lives because they did the right thing."
He sighed heavily as he looked down at his hands.
"People died because of me. I don't care if you tell me that none of that is my fault, that it's the nature of this damn business," he said acidly. "I'm the one sitting in the chair, next to Jimmy Naps, making decisions that impact people's lives. I'm the one he put in charge while he's out of state for the holidays. I'm the one who has to make the decisions right now."
"Yeah," Tony replied. "And because of you, Fornell and his family might just survive this mess. You made the right decision by sending Boone back out to search for Fornell…"
He shook his head. "I'm not just talking about Fornell," he said cutting Tony off. "We had safeguards to protect him. But what if I have to make a decision that gets someone else killed? That's on me, Tony."
Tony squeezed his shoulder. "You'll make the best decision you can, Tim. That's all any of us can do. You need to have faith that you're doing some questionable things for the right reason."
He shook his head emphatically. "I joined ONI to be on the side of the law not whatever this is," he retorted.
Tony took a deep breath. "I know that this isn't easy Tim," he said gently. "We knew it wouldn't be easy when we agreed to take this mission."
"I know," he replied. "But it's been so much harder than I expected. I feel like I lose a bit of myself every day. I'm worried that one day I'm going to wake up and Timothy McGee is going to be gone and Thom E. Gemcity has taken over. It's already started," he said heavily. "I hate what this mission is doing to me. How I've changed. I'd have never reacted to Boone like that even six months ago."
"Yeah you would have," Tony said to his surprise. "When it comes to protecting Abby, you'd have done that and more from the day you met her, Tim." He looked at his partner and realized he was right. He would do anything to protect Abby from harm. "And if what you say about Boone is true, he deserves to wear a set of concrete shoes and be sent for a swim in the Anacostia."
He shrugged, unable to disagree with Tony's assessment. For his crimes, Boone deserved the electric chair. It was just a shame that they could only execute him once.
"You went after Boone because you were protecting someone and that," Tony said emphatically. "Is very McGeeish," Tony finished. He smiled slightly at that. "I know that because I know you would do anything to protect your friends."
"Yeah well," he said as he sat up. "Timothy McGee couldn't have gotten a ruthless gangster to trust him enough to put me in charge of his operation."
Tony laughed.
"What?" he demanded. "It isn't funny Tony."
"I don't think it is," Tony said seriously. "But it wasn't the hardened criminal Thom E. Gemcity that got Napolitano to trust you."
"What are you talking about?" he asked. His thoughts were swimming from the alcohol and lack of sleep and Tony wasn't making any sense right now.
"It was the sweet innocent Tim McGee who got Naps to trust him," Tony said with a grin.
"That makes no sense at all," he said in frustration.
"Sure it does," Tony replied. "You're trustworthy Tim and you aren't a threat. That's why Napolitano trusts you and put you in charge. Don't you remember what Jimmy said when he came here two months ago?" He shook his head. "Jimmy came to you, Timothy McGee, because you weren't greedy and didn't want to overthrow him. Jimmy could never trust that a hardened gangster like Thom E. Gemcity wouldn't want a bigger piece of the pie."
He shrugged in concession.
"I couldn't have gotten Napolitano to trust me like that," Tony said. "Even if I had the smarts that you do, I'd have never gotten us this far Tim. You're far more trustworthy."
He snorted, surprising Tony.
"Go figure that I'm the one betraying Jimmy," he said with no small amount of guilt. Even if he was trying to take down a gangster, it still didn't sit well that he was betraying that trust. "What does that say about me?"
"That you're a good guy," Tony said. He tried to object but Tony continued. "If you weren't, you wouldn't feel guilty for betraying a ruthless mobster." He rolled his eyes. "You are Timothy McGee. But Thom Gemcity makes an appearance when he's needed."
"Like Doctor Jekyll and Mr. Hyde," he surmised.
"Yeah," Tony said beaming. "The film was amazing. I still can't figure out how they did the transformation."
"It was a book first, you know," he said dryly. "Is everything a movie to you?"
"I can't help it," Tony replied grinning. "I love the movies."
He sighed. He didn't like the idea of having an evil alter ego. He didn't like the man that was a hairsbreadth away from putting a bullet in Boone's gut because he had threatened the woman he loved. He had nearly murdered a man tonight.
"So, what if Mr. Hyde takes over permanently?" he asked softly. He nearly laughed at himself. He could hear the fear in his voice. "I don't want to be Thom Gemcity for the rest of my life Tony. I don't think I can stand it."
"And you think I want this permanently?" Tony demanded.
He frowned. "No. But at least you can handle this Tony. I'm not sure I can any more. I feel like I'm starting to crack."
"This isn't easy for me either, you know," Tony retorted, surprising him. "I've had to kill men because of this job. It was in self-defense, but that hardly makes it any better. How can it be self-defense if I willingly walked into the lion's den?" Tony paused for a second to take a breath. "I don't like it but I know that it is for the right reasons because it enabled me to protect my partner. What you did tonight, was why we're doing this. You saved three people tonight, including a little girl. I don't know if that makes up for the other deaths but it has to count for something."
He nodded. He couldn't argue with Tony's logic.
"I know you Tim," Tony said. "We've lived together for nine months now. You won't crack. I won't let you. Gibbs won't let you."
"Thanks, Tony," he said softly.
Tony nodded and continued, "But it doesn't matter because it won't ever get that far. You're too strong to crack."
He felt a rush of affection for his partner. "You think that?"
"I don't think," Tony said. "I know."
"Thanks," he said wearily. "And I realize that this hasn't been a walk in the park for you either. Hell, your self-control around Ziva alone has to be the hardest thing you've ever done." He grinned as Tony looked at him sourly. "And you're right," he said. "Saving Fornell and his family was a good thing. It does count for something. And taking down Napolitano will do a lot of good. But that's for another day. Right now, we get to take a little break and enjoy our Christmas. Together."
"You really see us as your family?" Tony asked.
He took a deep breath. He wanted Tony to know that he spoke truthfully and from the heart. "Yeah," he replied. "A really dysfunctional family."
"That's really touching, Tim," Tony said. "That means a lot to me, really. If I had a brother, it wouldn't have been awful if he had been like you."
"Thanks," he said sourly. But in spite of his tone, he was smiling. It really was a high compliment from Tony.
"I'm sorry that your family has disowned you, Tim," Tony said. "When this is over, they'll understand why you did what you did and they'll be proud of you. We're well on our way to disassembling Napolitano's network. This could be over very soon."
He smiled. The thought of this being over soon was extremely appealing.
"So, can we move on? Not to belittle your difficulties but about what I was asking before…"
He nodded grateful for the change in topic to something much more pleasant. "Yeah. Of course she's welcome. No one should be alone on Christmas or Hanukkah. Besides, that way you won't be the odd man out. And tell her I don't mind one bit if she wants to stay the night even if you don't stay on the couch." He stood and gave Tony a friendly pat on his shoulder before he started towards his bedroom. "I'm going to get a few hours' sleep before the unpleasantries begin. I'm not looking forward to calling Mr. Napolitano."
"Is… you know… ok where he is?" Tony asked.
"I think so, but you can never know. I know a lot but I don't know everything about Napolitano's network," he sighed. "We'll know soon enough. Gibbs has a safe house for them out of the city. He'll move them tonight after we've made some preparations."
"In spite of everything, this is good, Tim," Tony said stopping him in his tracks. "Napolitano trusts you enough to leave you in charge."
"Yes, that is good. But it's also bad," he said. "My tightrope has gotten thinner. If I'm not careful, it'll turn into a noose. Napolitano is smart. He could figure out I'm the one betraying him at any moment."
Tony frowned. "You're really pessimistic tonight," Tony said. "That's not like you."
He sighed. He shouldn't have had that second drink.
"I know. I'm sorry. But with everything that happened today and the fact that it's almost six in the morning?" Tony jolted and looked at the clock. When Tony saw the time, he shrugged. "Sleep will help." Tony nodded in concession. "Abby is coming over tonight and I'll get to spend Christmas with my friends. That will make all this better."
Author's Note: Two movie references for the price of one in this chapter! The Queen of Sheba (1921) was a silent film about the romance between King Solomon and the Queen of Sheba and stared Betty Blythe and Fritz Leiber, Sr. The film was very risque at the time because of the barely there costumes that Blythe wore and there was even topless scenes that were cut from the American versions. Most of Fox's silent film negatives were destroyed in a fire so the film is presumed lost but there are still photos that show her risque wardrobe (if it can be called that!). It also gave rise to the slang at the time that a woman with sex appeal was called a Sheba.
The other reference is to Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde (1931), which was a well-received movie that earned the star, Fredric March, an Academy Award for his performance. The transformation from Dr. Jekyll to Mr. Hyde was shown on screen, which is all the more impressive given the lack of technology at the time. Per wikipedia, "Make-up was applied in contrasting colors. A series of colored filters that matched the make-up was then used which enabled the make-up to be gradually exposed or made invisible. The change in color was not visible on the black-and-white film."
One final note, I've been able to post almost every day because up until now, I had been ahead of myself with my final read through/edits. But I have caught up to myself and in order to make sure the chapters read well, it takes a few days to complete my final edits. So, fair warning, I anticipate that I'll be posting every 2 to 3 days from here until the end.