I just want to reiterate that Naley's relationship in this story is a slow burn. They do seem to take a two steps forward and then ten steps back. It won't always be that way, necessarily. I have a whole timeline for this story written out and I can confidently say that there is a huge breakthrough for them coming. I hope none of the dialogue in this chapter comes off awkward or out of place. I can't tell you how many times I changed things around. It was a struggle, lol. Also, Haley's photography does play an important role in this story, trust me.
To the review who mentioned something Haley dying- There is a lot of symbolism in her being referred to as an "angel", but it's not in the way that you're thinking. She's not going to end up dying. I could never bring myself to kill Haley or Nathan in any of my stories, but especially this one. Poor Nathan has already suffered too much loss. I wouldn't do that to him, I promise.
To the review about what season I picture Naley as- your question was not weird at all. I totally get where you're coming from. Honestly, I've been picturing them as early S3 Naley, before Nathan cut his hair. Why, I couldn't really tell you. That's just the image I had. Like for Razor Sharp, I always pictured them as S7 Naley.
P.S. I don't know if you guys ever noticed, but my username is actually spelled wrong. I've had this account since I was, I think, 13? I remember being pissed that someone "stole" my idea, so I improvised. I never got around to changing it and I don't want to change it now, because I feel like I'll just confuse some people, haha. I've been meaning to say something but I kept forgetting. Most people refer to me by my username and I just wanted to let you guys know that you can call me Kathryn!
Jesus Christ, my author's notes are always so long. I clearly don't know when to shut up.
Nathan couldn't see straight. He couldn't think. Hell, he couldn't breathe. The only thing he could focus on was the burning anger that was shooting through his veins. His jaw was clenched so tightly that it was a miracle he hadn't cracked any of his teeth. His hands were balled into tight fists, his short nails digging harshly into his palms. He couldn't recall a time in his life where he was ever this angry.
Flashes of Damien's smug smile haunted him every time he closed his eyes.
For the most part, Nathan could somewhat keep his anger in check when it came to Damien. It was hard, and sometimes he slipped up, but he never flew off the handle. He knew that was exactly what Damien wanted. But as soon as he heard Haley's name come out of his mouth…he lost the last strand of self-control that he had. The last thing Nathan wanted was Damien anywhere near Haley.
Haley was too innocent. He couldn't let Damien take that innocence away. He couldn't let himself take her innocence away. He would rather die.
But it wasn't just what Damien said about Haley that had his blood boiling, albeit that was the biggest reason. It was the fact that Damien wouldn't leave him alone. It seemed like every corner he turned, Damien was standing there, waiting for him. Nathan abandoned him and the lifestyle that came with him for a reason. Damien had already taken so much from him…what the hell else did he want? It was like he was stuck in quicksand and the harder fought, the quicker he sank.
As soon as Lucas pulled up to their apartment complex, Nathan was out of the car and making his way up the stairs. The car was starting to feel a little too claustrophobic for him. Once he was in the apartment, he frantically looked around. He wasn't sure what he was looking for—an escape, a bottle of whiskey, a sense of peace…something that would stop his head from spinning.
"Nathan?" Jake called out carefully as he and Lucas stepped into the apartment. There was a look in Nathan's eyes that he'd never seen before and it was starting to freak him out.
Nathan turned around to look at them, his chest heaving and his eyes alight. Their worried expressions seemed to be the only thing that snapped him back to reality. Stumbling backwards, he caught himself against the counter, his body sinking down on to one of the bar stools. He was shaking, his heart pounding in his chest.
"Every single time I seem to finally find even a sliver of some solid footing in this fucked up life, Damien comes around," Nathan choked out. Images of being with Haley started to play on repeat in his mind. He squeezed his eyes shut. The words just seemed to flow out of him. "It's like he has this radar and it goes off every time I start to think 'maybe I can let all of this go and just live.' I-I can't escape him."
Lucas and Jake exchanged a concerned look. This was the first time Nathan had shown this kind of emotion over Damien. It was unnerving. The way Nathan had his fists clenched, his tense body language, the look in his eyes…it was familiar, yet very different at the same time.
"Nathan," Lucas breathed out sympathetically. "You can't let Damien get to you like this. He's trying to push your buttons. You know how he is. He gets off on making people angry and miserable."
Nathan shook his head. "You don't understand, Lucas. This is more than 'just trying to make me mad.' He's not going to stop until he gets what he wants. I know Damien. "
"What does he want?" Jake challenged.
"Nothing," Nathan bit out. He shouldn't have opened his damn mouth. The walls were closing in on him again. He had to get out of there before they forced the truth out of him. The truth that had been eating him alive ever since the night of the fire. He couldn't let them know.
They believed that Damien set the fire because Nathan decided that he didn't want to be a part of his "gang" anymore. That was partially true, but it wasn't the whole truth. That's why they never blamed him for his parents' death. That's why they always tried to console him when he went on his rampages. They didn't know the whole truth and he wanted to keep it that way.
"There has to be something, or else you wouldn't have said anything," Lucas said next, his gaze warily. He could feel it in the pit of his stomach. Lucas knew his brother well and he could that Nathan was encroaching on his breaking point.
"Forget it!" Nathan yelled back as yanked the fangs off of his teeth, they were starting to drive him crazy. The anger was bubbling up inside of him again, threatening to boil over at any given second.
Jake stepped closer to him, his own patience waning thin. "Nathan, goddamn it, we're trying to help you!"
Nathan stood up from the stool and approach Jake. "I don't need your help and I don't want it either!" You wouldn't want to help me if you knew the truth.
"Don't be like that, Nate," Lucas murmured softly. "You don't always have to fight your battles alone."
"Yeah, well this one, I do," Nathan huffed out, his eyes cutting to Lucas. "Damien started that fire because of me. My parents and your dad are dead because of me."
Lucas let out a heavy sigh. "For the millionth time, you know that's not true."
Nathan shook his head dismissively. He could feel his chest tightening further, his throat closing up on him. "That's the thing, it is true."
"You didn't make Damien start that fire!" Jake seethed. He didn't mean to sound so angry, but it just came bursting out of him. It killed him to see Nathan beating himself up over something that wasn't his fault. It needed to stop. "He started that fire on his own. He poured the gasoline and he lit the match. Not you!"
"But I drove him to it!" Nathan shouted, his vision becoming blurry with tears. He felt his knees begin to buckle, the pain rippling through his body. He could see his mom under the pillar, her tear stained face begging him to save her. He could see his dad being pulled out a stretcher, his skin burned beyond recognition. His skin felt hot like he was back in that house, the fire licking away at him. He couldn't breathe.
"Nathan?" Jake said more calmly, his anger quickly turning into concern. Nathan's eyes were glazed over and it looked like he was struggling to breathe. He rushed to Nathan's side, Lucas was quickly there with him. They grabbed on to him before he fell backwards and carried him over to the couch. "Come on, man, just breathe."
Nathan gripped the couch, his knuckles turning white as his fingers wrapped around the material. "He w-wanted money for the d-drugs," Nathan coughed out between gasps of air. He was starting to see black spots in his vision and his body felt numb. He was having a full on panic attack.
"Don't talk, Nate. Just focus on breathing," Lucas tried to soothe, his own heart beating wildly in his chest. Seeing Nathan have a panic attack wasn't anything he wasn't used to, but he had never seen it this bad before.
To Nathan, Lucas' voice was nothing but a muffled sound. It was like he didn't have control over his own body or the words that he was saying.
"H-he wanted me t-to drug her. He w-wanted me to hurt h-her," Nathan continued on. "I couldn't do it. I j-just couldn't. He got angry and d-demanded I pay him back all the m-money for the drugs. I c-couldn't so he started the f-fire."
Jake furrowed his eyebrows as he looked up from Nathan. What money? What girl? He was well aware that Nathan used to do drugs when he hung out with Damien. It was one of the things that had put a strain on their friendship during their freshmen year. But this was the first he had heard about money and about hurting a girl. He wanted to ask questions but he knew now wasn't the time.
"Get a cool rag," Lucas demanded, breaking Jake out of his thoughts. "His skin feels like it's on fire."
Jake nodded as he jumped up from the couch. Rushing into the bathroom, he hastily opened he cupboard drawers and grabbed a washcloth. He ran it under the cool water before heading back to the living room. Nathan was beginning to look pale and he was still gasping for air. He knew it was only a matter of time before Nathan passed out. It happened almost every time.
Nathan closed his eyes as he leaned back in the couch. Everything felt numb and his brain felt hazy. He would regret allowing himself to be vulnerable later. Right now, things were slowly becoming black.
~x~
"Haley, you alright?" Peyton asked while glancing at her from the passenger seat. Haley had been completely silent their whole way home from the school.
Haley jumped at the sound of Peyton's voice. She looked away from watching the passing houses to look at her. "Yeah, I'm okay." Her voice sounded a little hollow even to her own ears.
"Do you want to talk about it?" Brooke asked, briefly casting her eyes to look at Haley in the rear-view mirror before returning her eyes to the road.
A half smile graced her face. "I don't really think there's much to talk about."
That was a lie. Her mind was racing with a hundred different thoughts. She wasn't sure where to begin or how to translate her thoughts into words that made sense. All she knew was that she couldn't stop picturing what had happened between her and Nathan—the way he cared for her in the haunted house, the feel of his hand in hers, the almost kiss, the way he acted when Damien showed up…everything.
Subconsciously, she was still rubbing her arms where Nathan had grabbed her. He didn't hurt her and he wasn't rough, but it still…made her uneasy. It was the look in his eyes that scared her the most, though. It was more than just jealously, although she did detect a hint of that in his eyes. It was anger, fear, torment, regret, and sadness all rolled into one. It was then she realized that she was scared of him, she was scared for him.
The only thing she felt then was this sudden need and concern. When Nathan stormed away from her, it took everything in her to not run after him, to not try and comfort him. How fucked up was she? It was clear as day that he had issues and a past that made him "dangerous", but instead of running far away from him, she was running straight towards him.
Was she stupid? Sometimes. Was she falling for him? More than she felt safe to admit.
"Here's an idea," Brooke spoke up. "Why don't we have a sleep over tonight? My parents are out of town again, so we have the whole house to ourselves."
Peyton smiled. "I'm down for that."
"Tutor Girl?"
"That sounds great, Brooke, but I was kind of looking forward to the comfort of my own bed tonight." Haley cringed when Brooke's face fell. "But, maybe you guys to stay the night at my house? I'm sure my mom won't mind."
Brooke's face brightened. "Fabulous! I just have to stop by my house and grab a change of clothes."
About a half hour later, Haley found herself leading Brooke and Peyton into her house. All of the lights were off, except for the soft glow of the TV reflecting from the living room. She closed to door behind them before calling out to her mom.
"Mom! I'm home! Brooke and Peyton are here, too!"
Haley frowned when all she received as a response was the humming from the TV. Sighing, she walked further into the house, her friends trailing closely behind her. She turned the corner and stopped in her tracks when she spotted her mom sprawled out on the couch. An empty bottle of wine was tipped over the coffee table and her signature wine glass was dangling from her hand. Thankfully, it was empty.
"Wow, I didn't know your mom was such a booze-hound," Brooke joked, eyeing the wine bottle.
"You have no idea," Haley snorted as she rolled her eyes. She was used to this, but that didn't mean she wasn't still annoyed by it. Reached over her sleeping mother, she grabbed the remote and turned the TV off, enveloping them in complete darkness.
"Come on, let's go up to my room," Haley mumbled. "I'm exhausted." Emotionally and physically.
~x~
Karen's Café.
The white letters were exceptionally bright against the maroon overhang, absolutely mocking him. For the most part, Nathan avoided this place. It reminded him way too much of his parents. When they were alive, they practically lived here—when they weren't busy with their careers. He could still picture his mom sitting at the counter with a plate of chocolate chip pancakes and a cup of steaming hot coffee sitting in front of her. Or his dad standing behind the grill, cooking his bacon to the crisp that he liked, because apparently Karen always "overcooked" it.
Normally, he didn't want the memories or sense of familiarity. Today, however, he craved it.
Taking a deep breath to calm himself, he ascended the step leading up to the front door. Stepping inside, his eyes completed a brief sweeping of the establishment. It looked exactly how he remembered it—the pale yellow walls, the bookshelves, and the old couches. It was sparsely populated, which surprised him. Usually, Karen's Café was packed with people, especially on Sundays. Instead, there was an older couple sitting at booth in the back and a young woman typing away on her laptop in the opposite corner.
He didn't see Karen anywhere, but he assumed that she was in the back. Hesitantly, he walked towards the counter and slid into one of the stools. Specifically, the stool that his mom used to always sit in. It felt weird being back there. There was a tightness in his chest and the nostalgia was running rapidly through him. Surprisingly, he didn't feel the immense and crippling pain that he expected to feel.
"Nathan?" Karen's voice rang out.
Nathan looked to see her standing across from him, a pot of coffee in her hands and an apron around her waist. Her black hair was a mess of wild curls and it was shorter than he remembered. But other than that, she looked exactly the same. Her face was contorted in pure shock, her eyes wide.
"Hey, Karen," He said softly, a sheepish smile spreading across his face.
She seemed to snap out of her haze at that and quickly placed the coffee pot down. Walking around the counter, she reached him and pulled him in tight hug. The smell of coco beans and flour invaded his sense. Closing his eyes, he hugged her back.
After a few moments, Karen pulled back and despite her efforts, tears were shinning in her eyes. "How are you?" One of her hands remained on his shoulder as she gave it a squeeze.
"I'm good," Nathan answered easily. That was the default answer. Most of the people that asked him that question didn't really care.
Karen smiled gently at him, dropping her hand. By the dark circles under his eyes and his worn down skin, she knew he was lying. Call it mother's instinct. "Nathan, it's me. You don't have to lie."
Nathan sighed as her warm eyes drew him in. He glanced at the ground before looking back at her. "I'm trying."
"Is there anything I can do?"
Nathan shook his head. He didn't want to inconvenience her. "I don't think there is anything anyone could do. Thank you, though."
"I miss you around here, you know."
"I know and I'm sorry that I haven't been around. It's just too—"
"—hard?" Karen filled in for him.
Nathan nodded. "They loved this place and being back here, it almost feels as if they're still here. But I know as soon as I walk out that door, reality will set in twice as hard."
"I understand," Karen said solemnly. "I was thinking about you and Lucas the other day. You boys used to drive me crazy when you would come in here and start bouncing a basketball around. Or when you two would argue over what basketball teams were better or something like that. Sometimes you gets would get so loud, I'm surprised that guests did get up and leave," Karen giggled. "As much as you both drove me crazy, it made this place livelier."
Nathan smiled at the memory. "We were such menaces. I don't know how you ever put up with us."
Karen shrugged, her eyes twinkling. "I love you both, that's how I dealt with it."
Nathan smiled.
Clapping her hands together, she moved so that she was leaning against the counter. "Why don't I make you something to eat? It's on the house."
Nathan furrowed his eyebrows as he shook his head. "That's okay. I just came here to…" He trailed off. He wasn't exactly sure how to explain what he was there for.
"It's no problem, really," Karen insisted. "Just name it and I'll get it ready for you."
He could tell that Karen wasn't going to take no for an answer, so he conceded. "Chocolate chip pancakes and bacon...not too crispy."
~x~
Haley couldn't stop the yawn from leaving her lips, even if she tried. Between talking to Brooke and Peyton most of the night and her inability to shut her brain off, she had barely gotten any sleep. They stayed up until almost six in the morning and even though she got up at noon that was only six hours of sleep. She needed at least nine hours of sleep to function properly.
Which is exactly why she was walking her way to Karen's Café. She was craving a cup of coffee and so far, she hadn't found a place in Tree Hill that beat coffee from Karen's. It probably wasn't the best idea to drink coffee when it was already three in the afternoon, but she needed it. Yawning once more, she jogged up the step and walked in. The first thing she saw was Nathan sitting at the counter, his back to her. She froze and her heart jumped in her throat.
From where she was standing, he looked to be eating. His shoulders were hunched over, the material of his leather jacket straining as he moved. A dark red shirt was peeking out from underneath it, with his usual pair of dark wash jeans. Glancing around the rest of the café, she found that they were alone. She couldn't not say "hi." Before Haley had time to debate with herself, her feet were carrying her over to him. They were friends. There was no reason she should've been scared to talk to him, even if they left things a little estranged the night before.
"I thought vampires couldn't come out during the day," Haley mumbled lamely as she slid into the stool next to him.
Nathan's stomach flipped when he heard Haley's voice, followed by her body brushing against his as she claimed the seat next to him. He swallowed the bite of food he was chewing before looking over at her. Nathan's initial reaction was to bolt, to make up some excuse about how he was just leaving, especially after what happened with Damien. But after one look into her eyes, he knew he wasn't going anywhere. Her hold on him was strong, and the scariest part of it all was that she had no idea.
His eyes quickly glanced over her. Her arms were resting on the counter and she was chewing on the inside of her cheek. Her blonde hair was still curly from the night before, but her face was clear of make-up. She was wearing a navy blue sweater, the v-neckline respectively low. She was pulling at the sleeves and her light wash jean clad leg was shaking up and down.
He swallowed hard. Would there ever be a time where he could look at her and not feel his heart hammer in his chest?
"And I thought guardian angels only appeared when someone was in trouble," Nathan replied, a smirk tugging on his lips.
Haley looked away from his gaze as a light blush painted her cheeks. "Well, I guess we both thought wrong."
Nathan's eyes then fell to her camera that was resting around her neck. "You really do carry your camera with you everywhere you go."
Without even realizing her, Haley's hand fell to grip her camera. She glanced down at it before meeting his gaze. "Did you think I was lying?"
Nathan chuckled, shaking his head. "No. You didn't have it with you last night, though."
"I thought about bringing it," Haley defended. "However, the last thing I wanted was pictures of zombies and ghosts on my memory cards."
"Fair enough. What exactly do you like taking pictures of?" Nathan found himself asking. He'd always been intrigued by her love for photography. It was something different. He didn't know many people who were obsessed with taking photos. It was just another one of her endearing attributes.
Haley shrugged as she began to twirl the lens cap. "Anything—people, animals, scenery. I think scenery might be my favorite, though. There's something so calming about finding things in nature that are so breathtakingly beautiful and capturing it in a picture."
"That's an interesting way to look at it," Nathan murmured.
"It sounds lame, I know," Haley said with a laugh. "Most people like taking pictures because they can freeze time and a capture a moment for a lifetime. And don't get me wrong, I love doing that, too. But, nature—"
"Hales, you're rambling again," Nathan cut her off with a teasing smile.
Her blush deepened as she looked down. "I'm sorry. Whenever I get excited or nervous, I tend to do that."
"Don't worry about it, it's cute." Those words left his mouth before he could stop himself. It amazed him how easy it was to lose himself around her. It was like he didn't have to think and everything came so naturally.
Haley was sure that she was as red as his shirt, at this point. He called her cute and her inner school girl was squealing. Jesus Christ, get it together. "Thanks," She murmured quietly.
Nathan cleared his throat when an awkward silence formed between the two of them. "You know, I know this place that you might like to photograph. It's kind of hidden and nobody really knows about it."
"Really?" Her interest was piqued at that.
"Do you want to see it?"
"Of course."
~x~
Two miles, tons of sand, and a half hour of small talk later, they arrived at a secluded part of the beach. It was the furthest point from civilization. The pure white sand ended at a plethora of rocks. The rocks were slanted upwards, leading to patch a perfectly green and perfectly cut grass. It was quiet and there was a sense of serenity in the air. It seemed like it was the one part of the beach that wasn't marred by litter or noise pollution.
Over the course of her life, Haley had seen a lot of landmarks and tourist spots, but nothing was ever as beautiful as this place was. She wasted no time lifting her camera up and snapping pictures.
"How did you find this place?" Haley marveled as she snapped away.
"My dad," Nathan answered. His hands were stuffed in his pockets and he was standing off to the side, just watching Haley. It shook something inside of him to see the way her eyes light up as she took picture after picture. She looked genuinely at ease and happy.
He suddenly felt an immense amount of guilt. There was no way he could provide her with that kind of happiness, or happiness at all. Although, he wasn't able to dwell on it long because Haley continued to question him.
"So, did your dad just like to explore the secretive parts of the beach?"
Nathan laughed at the incredulous manner in her voice. "Not exactly. My parents used to own a beach house. We spent a lot of summer nights there and almost every morning, my dad would go for a run. He got curious one day and decided to run a little farther down the beach. That's when he found this place."
Haley lowered her camera and turned to look at him. "Did you guys come here often?"
Nathan nodded as he started to graze his foot over the top of the grass. "We came here a lot when I was younger. It was a 'break from the real world', or at least that's what he used to call it."
"I could see that. It's really beautiful out here. And quiet," Haley cooed, her eyes doing another sweep around the beach.
"I still come out here every once in a while," Nathan admitted. "Most of the time, my sanctuary is the River Court. But, sometimes, when I don't want to be found, I come here."
"Lucas doesn't know about this place? Or Jake?"
Nathan shook his head. "Just my dad, me, and…you, now."
Haley's heart beat sped up at that. A warmth spread through her body and she fought the urge to smile. Being there and knowing that he never showed anyone else this place…it felt like she got to see a side to him that he didn't show many people. That meant everything.
She watched him closely as he stared out at the water and fell silent. His arms were now crossed over his chest. There was a certain calmness to him that she had yet to see with him. The worry lines that were usually etched into his features were smooth. His eyes weren't cold or distant. They held a gentle warmth, one that she could easily see herself getting lost in. Haley decided to seize the moment. Lifting up her camera, she looked through the view finder and focused it on Nathan. A "click" carried through the wind when she snapped the picture.
Nathan's head jolted in her direction at the sound, his eyebrows raised. "Did you just take a picture of me?"
Quickly, Haley dropped her camera. "No, why would you think that?" Her teeth sunk into her bottom lip.
"Oh, I don't know, maybe because you were just pointing the camera at me and then I heard it go off."
Haley shrugged innocently. "You were imagining things."
Nathan narrowed his eyes as he took a few steps closer to her. He could have sworn that out of the corner of his eye, he watched her focus her camera on him and then proceed to press down on the shutter release. If he were being honest, he didn't mind all that much. But the way she was squirming and trying to act all innocent was egging him on.
"I don't think I was," He continued to tease. He smirked when she took a step away from him. Her eyes were twinkling with a playful mischief, it caused his heart to skip a beat.
"Okay, completely hypothetical question here, but what if I did take a picture of you?" Haley taunted.
He was losing himself, or at least, that's what the voice in his head was telling him. It had been…years since he had genuinely felt playful or lighthearted. Being in this peaceful place with Haley, it was easy to forget the pain. It was easy to forget that there was a world outside of that little alcove, a world that was damaged and full of reasons he should've been running away.
He didn't want to fight that.
Nathan took a few more steps closer to her. "Then, I guess I'll just have to hypothetically get you back."
Haley's eyes widened when he took off running towards her. Quickly, she gathered her bearings and darted away from him. The wind whipped her hair around and she couldn't help but laugh at how childish this all was. She liked it, though. It was a different side of Nathan. A lighter and much more…alive side to him, a side that she never thought she would see.
An embarrassing squeal poured out of her lips when Nathan's arms wrapped around her waist. He pulled her tight against his chest and she laughed loudly when he lifted her off the ground. However, that glee didn't last long. She felt a slight panic when Nathan lost his footing and she could feel them falling forward.
"Nathan! My camera!"
Nathan tightened his grip on her waist and held her closer to his chest as they fell. He extended his free hand to brace his fall so he wouldn't crush her or the very expensive camera that was around her neck. Her grip on him was tight, her fingers wrapping around the leather material of his jacket. When they hit the ground, he smiled as she giggled up at him. Her hair fanned out around her and that playful glint was still in her eye. Her laugh was contagious and soon, he found himself laughing. He ignored the fringe of excitement he felt at their close proximity.
Haley's heart was slamming against her chest and the sound of his laugh brought goosebumps to her skin. It was then she realized just how tiny she was in comparison to him. His body was covering her completely and then some. She felt a warmth spread through her as she met his gaze. His blue eyes were darkening by the second and she could have sworn she heard him take a sharp intake of breath.
"Well, I guess, hypothetically, you got me back."
Nathan smiled shakily as he let out a short chuckle. He suddenly felt completely out of breath. "Yeah, I guess I did." Realizing that he was laying directly on top of her, he rolled off of her and laid back in the grass. The voice in his head was threatening to take control of him, but he pushed it back. That was the last thing he wanted to deal with right now, not when he felt this good.
Haley instantly felt the loss of his body as she sat up. The sun was low in the sky and the air was starting to get cooler. She shivered as another gust of wind blew by her. As much as she didn't want to leave, she knew that they had to. She still had homework that she needed to do and she was starting to get hungry.
"We should probably get going," Nathan spoke up and she inwardly laughed. It was like he was reading her damn mind.
"Yeah," Haley agreed as she watched him stand up from the ground. Once he was standing, he brushed his hands on his jeans before extending a hand to her. She graciously grabbed it and hoisted herself up.
"I didn't hurt you when I tackled you, did I?" Nathan asked a moment later. He couldn't recall a moment where Haley looked like she was in pain, but he had to make sure. She was a lot lighter and tinier than he anticipated.
"Not at all," Haley murmured. They began to walk back the way they came. By now, the beach was completely empty. "I was a little worried about my camera there for a second, but you recovered nicely."
"I figured you'd probably kill me if something happened to it," Nathan said with a shrug.
"You thought right."
They walked in a comfortable silence for several moments. Haley chewed on the inside of her cheek as she debated on if she should strike up more conversation or not. Things had been good between them today. So far, Nathan wasn't pulling away from her like he normally did. He was laughing and smiling. She wondered if they would ever get another moment like this, or just how much longer this moment was going to last. She liked this side of Nathan and she wanted to keep him around as much as she could. That wasn't to say that she didn't like the other sides of Nathan, because she did. But she had a sneaking suspicion that the side of Nathan she saw today was who he was…before everything fell apart for him. She feared that pushing him or asking him questions would cause him to retreat back into his shell.
So, she remained silent.
It wasn't long before they reached the dock. The sun was setting over the water, giving everything a pinkish glow. It was a breathtaking sight. The sunsets were another thing that she loved about Tree Hill. Sunsets in California just weren't the same. Most of the time the lights on the boardwalk drowned them out. Haley paused when they reached the center of the dock.
"Hold on, I need to get a picture of this. Sunsets are another one of my weaknesses," Haley confessed with a slight blush.
Nathan nodded as he leaned against the opposite side of the dock. The silence was allowing his mind to wander and that was never a good thing. Today had been different. Today, he had been different. Without a doubt, he knew that the main cause of that was Haley. The more time he spent with her, the deeper the hole he was digging himself became. It absolutely terrified him, yet completely thrilled him at the same time.
Seeing her laugh, hearing himself laugh…it was like a drug. Today, for the first time, he let himself feel completely without panicking. He let the warmth that she brought him seep through. That was a mistake, a sweet and torturous mistake, one that he wouldn't mind making over and over again, despite the roaring consequences.
His heart clenched in his chest when the wind brushed through her hair and he was hit with wave of vanilla. Everything happened in slow motion after that. Her body twisted around so that she was facing him again, a content smile on her face. Her lips were moving but he couldn't make out what she was saying. All he could do was stare at her, the rays of the setting sun creating a halo around her. Every single thing about her was perfect and he suddenly felt like he couldn't breathe…in the most pleasurable of ways.
When she removed her camera from around her neck and rested it on the thick ledge of the dock, he seized his opportunity. It was like his body had a mind of its own and within a blink of an eye, he was standing directly in front of her. His heart was slamming against his chest and it only increased when Haley looked up at him, her eyes dancing with wonderment.
Nathan's hands were planted on either side of her body, gripping tightly to the wooden structure of the dock. She was completely boxed in. His face was only inches from her, his eyes boring straight into hers. They had been in this position before. The last time he had her in this position he told her to stay away from him. Unlike the last time, Haley didn't avoid his eyes. She held his gaze, her heart pounding wildly, her breathing quick, and her stomach twisting every which way. She waited for him to speak, to tell her to stay away, to remind her yet again just how dangerous he was…but instead he remained silent.
The wind rushing around them only seemed to get louder as the seconds ticked by.
To her surprise, he inched towards her until his forehead was pressed against hers and his hands dropped to rest on her waist. Her eyes fell closed as his breath danced across her lips, goosebumps raising high on her skin. He was invading every one of her senses—the smell of his cologne, the feel of his hands resting on her waist, the sound of his shallow breathing, and the taste of his minty breath on her lips. It all seemed so much more heightened. She felt dizzy, completely intoxicated by the man standing in front of her. She felt on edge, nervous, terrified….safe.
Nathan knew he wasn't strong enough anymore and he hated himself for it. He couldn't find the strength to stay aware from her, no matter how loud the voice in his head was screaming at him to walk away. Weak was never something he liked being, in fact, he despised being weak. It wasn't him. But, Haley made him weak…in the most intoxicating way possible. She made him want to throw caution to the wind, to ignore his screaming conscious. That terrified him. He had no problem keeping his distance from people. He never really held any desire to get to know someone. He was fine with being lonely. No friends meant no feelings and no feelings meant no problems. But the girl standing in front of him changed all of that.
His grip on her waist tightened as he pulled her closer to him, their lower halves molding together. He smirked slightly when he heard her take in a sharp breath. "I should walk away," he began lowly. "A guy like me is dangerous for a girl like you."
Dangerous. There was that word again. She was so damn tired of hearing it. She didn't believe Nathan was dangerous. One look in his eyes, one simple touch of his hand and she just knew he would never intentionally hurt her, despite his warnings. Bringing her hands up, she knotted them in his hair, tugging slightly. A small smile appeared on her face when a low groan emitted from his lips.
"Then why aren't you walking away?"
"Because I can't," Nathan admitted breathlessly. "Because no matter how hard I try, I can't stop thinking about you. I don't have the strength to stay away from you anymore."
His lips were practically on hers, brushing against them with each spoken word. Her grip on his hair tightened, her whole entire body buzzing with desire, "Kiss me," She breathed out, not one bit ashamed at the begging tone in her voice. "Just kiss me."
Something snapped inside of Nathan at her words. That stupid voice in the back of his head was suddenly silent. He wasted no time pulling her flush against his body, covering her mouth with his. His eyes immediately snapped shut. A moan could be heard from the both of them as their lips molded together. Nathan swore a fire had started inside of him from the moment their lips touched. Her lips were so soft and tasted of something so fruity, something that was just so…Haley. It was everything that he had imagined and more. Kissing Haley was like the sweetest exposure of nicotine known to man. Once he got a single taste of her, he couldn't seem to get enough. Never in his life had felt so good just from a simple kiss.
Haley's knees were buckling and she was sure that if Nathan's arms weren't so securely wrapped around her, she would have fallen to the wooden floor. His lips were like magic and she couldn't help but moan when his tongue snuck into her mouth. God, he knew what he was doing. She hadn't kissed many boys in her life and especially not like this, but she was certain that it wasn't supposed to feel this good. A fire was flowing through her veins, covering every inch of her body. Her hands had fallen from his hair and were now clutching desperately on to the collar of his leather jacket, almost like she was afraid that in any moment, he would disappear.
Just as soon as the kiss started, it was over. Haley leaned back against the railing, her hands falling limp beside her. Her heart was pounding loudly in her ears and for the life of her, she couldn't catch her breath. Her eyes remained closed as she tried to regain control of her own body. Kissing Nathan had knocked the wind right out of her. It was everything she imagined it would be- earth shattering and knee weakening. Once she had gained her composure enough, she slowly opened her eyes, fully expecting Nathan to still be standing in front of her.
But he was gone.