This chapter took me a lot longer than I wanted it to. I got a shit ton of homework thrown at me at one time and that's literally all I've been doing. Speaking of which, the next month is going to be crazy busy for me. I have a few hefty papers that are due within the last two weeks of September/first week of October. And then the first weekend of October, I'm going out of town for a wedding. Then, the second weekend of October I'll actually be in Wilmington for the OTH convention. I'm not exactly sure if or when I'm going to have some free time to crank out the next chapter. I really hate to do this to you guys and I really hope that it doesn't take an entire month for me to update, but I'll have to see what happens. I thought I at least owed you guys a warning!
Moving on to the chapter, I have a really good feeling about this chapter. It was one of those things were I felt like I was effortlessly typing and all of the words just seemed to flow out without much thought. I hope y'all enjoy!
P.S. I know I originally said this story was going to be about 30 chapters. I think it might end up being a little more than that. I revised my timeline over the weekend and switched some things around. I don't want to rush through anything, so I think it might end up being about 33-34 chapters.
Haley couldn't sit still. Her leg was incessantly shaking and she couldn't stop twisting her fingers together. Her skin felt like it was crawling, goosebumps covering every inch of her flesh.
Were hospitals always this cold? Were they always this noisy? Did they always smell so...chemical-y?
Her head felt cloudy as she glanced around the waiting room. Brooke and Jake were sitting on a couch directly across from her. Their mouths were moving, but all she heard was static. Lucas had just returned from the cafeteria, handing Peyton a bottle of water. She could vaguely remember Lucas asking her if she wanted anything, but she couldn't remember if she answered him or not.
She supposed that all of her friends coming to her rescue should have warmed her heart, and maybe, deep down, it did. But, right now, she just felt numb. There was a gaping hole in her chest where her heart used to be. An uncertain darkness filled that gap, threatening to swallow her whole.
Even Nathan's hands—one rubbing her back, the other one squeezing her knee—were doing little to evoke any kind of feeling inside of her. She could feel his piercing eyes burning into her skin. His gaze hadn't strayed from her once since he arrived. There was a small part of her that wanted to look at him and tell him that she was going to be okay, but the lie was lodged in her throat.
All she kept seeing was Lydia's body sprawled out on the tan carpet of their home—her skin pale, her veins a cool blue, and the bottle of opened pills in her hand. There was only one other time in her life when she had felt that kind of pain. It brought her back to the moment she found out her father had passed and she wasn't sure whether to be furious or lament about that.
How could her mother possibly…
She couldn't finish that thought, she couldn't let her mind go there. If she admitted it to herself, then it would become real. She needed to believe that her mother wouldn't do something like that, for her own sanity. Right now, she needed to not think. With the way her mind was racing, thinking was her enemy.
"Ms. James?"
Haley's head snapped up at that, her body going frigid when she saw the doctor standing in the doorway to the waiting room. He was a middle-aged man, with sandy blonde hair and bright green eyes. The smile on his face was gentle and his eyes were droopy, most likely a product of a long shift. Swallowing hard, she jumped up from her seat. Nathan wasn't far behind her, his hand remaining squarely on the small of her back.
"I'm Dr. Benson, we met briefly when you came in," He began, smiling again. Haley bitterly wondered if he always had that smile on his face, regardless if it was bad news or good news he was delivering. "Your mother was very lucky. You called 911 just in time."
Haley pursed her lips in response.
Clearing his throat, Dr. Benson continued.
"We were able to remove the alcohol and medication from her system by pumping her stomach. She had a high dosage of Diazepam, a common sleeping aid, in her system, along with a BAC of .19."
Haley's stomach knotted up, a queasy feeling coming over her. "Is she going to be okay?" It hurt to talk. Her throat was parched and scratchy.
Dr. Benson sighed. "Physically, she should make a full recovery. However, suicide attempts are never something that should be swept under the rug. Has your mom ever attempted to harm herself before?"
Suicide.
She felt her knees buckle and Nathan's arm quickly banded around her waist to steady her. Hearing the word out loud hurt more than she anticipated it to. Her throat closed up even further as she weakly shook her head.
Dr. Benson smiled again, and Haley wanted nothing more than to smack that stupid grin off his face. "We are associated with a few different rehab facilities and psychologist offices that would be happy to assist her. They both have excellent suicide and alcoholic recovery based programs. They're all volunteer based, but I think it is something you should discuss once she comes to."
All Haley could do was nod her head. Dr. Benson mentioned something about being able to go see Lydia, but Haley felt as if her feet had become cemented to the ground. She watched as Dr. Benson walked away, her heart thumping loudly in her chest as she processed everything he had just told her. It was a lot to take in—rehab, therapy, alcoholism, suicide…her head felt like it was spinning.
Nathan stepped in front of her, his hands sliding up her arms and then, resting on her shoulders. His eyebrows were furrowed in concern, his eyes clouded with worry. "Hales, do you, uh, want to go see her? I can take you."
She shook her head. She wasn't sure she could physically handle seeing her mother right now.
"Are you sure?" Lucas spoke up, cautiously walking towards her. "It might help. I'm sure she'd be glad to know you were there."
Haley shook her head, again. Her chest felt like it was caving in. "I don't want to see her."
"Haley." This time it was Brooke who was trying to coax her.
"I need some air," Haley choked out as she shied away from Nathan's touch. The white hospital walls were closing in on her and her skin was starting to feel clammy.
"I'll come with you," Nathan offered as he started to follow her.
"No," Haley snapped back. "I want to be alone."
Nathan's shoulders slumped as he stuffed his hands in his pockets. There was a feeling in the pit of his stomach that told him that leaving her alone wouldn't be a good idea. "Hales…"
Her lips were pressed together in a hard line, her eyes stern and narrow. "I need to be alone, Nathan."
He sighed in defeat. He really didn't want to let her go alone, but he was well acquainted with the look of determination on her face. He watched in sadness as she turned her back on him and headed towards the exit.
~x~
Nathan refused to take his eyes off of Haley. She was sitting on a bench right outside the emergency entrance to the hospital. Her knees were pressed to her chest and her arms were wrapped securely around her legs. It was taking everything in him to not go to her and pull her in his arms. Seeing her like that was hard, but being at a loss of how to help her was even harder.
Sensing someone next to him, Nathan glanced to his left to see Lucas standing there. He was sure the solemn expression on Lucas' face mirrored his own. Running a frustrated hand over his face, Nathan exhaled deeply.
"What am I supposed to do, Luke?" He asked shakily.
The corners of Lucas' mouth twitched into a slight, sad smile. "Exactly what you've been doing—just be there for her."
"It doesn't feel like enough," Nathan retorted, crossing his arms over his chest. "I'm so worried about her, man. You should have seen her when I first got here. I don't think I've ever seen someone cry that hard. And now, she's just…blank. She's usually so strong and to see her crumble like this—"
"Nathan," Lucas cut him off. "It's going to be okay. She's going to be okay."
"But what if she's not?"
Lucas chuckled softly as he shook his head. "She will be. Like you said, she's strong. She's going to get through this with the help of all of us, especially you. You just gotta continue to be there for her, whatever she needs."
"I plan on it," Nathan declared.
Lucas smiled. "Good, now come on, let's go get some coffee. I have a feeling it's going to be a long night. I already called my mom and had her call us in sick for school tomorrow."
Nathan shook his head. "I'm not leaving her."
"Nathan, you're just getting a cup of coffee, not leaving the state," Lucas said with a quiet chuckle. "Besides, some of these nurses are starting to think you're like a stalker or something. I even heard one of them say they're thinking of calling security."
Nathan rolled his eyes. "I'm sure."
"I'm serious!" Lucas insisted.
Nathan sighed as he glanced one last time over at Haley. She hadn't moved much. As much as he didn't want to leave her, he figured that a few minutes couldn't hurt. Accepting Lucas' offer, they headed back to the waiting room. Peyton was laying down on one of the couches, while Jake and Brooke were watching the news on the TV. Brooke was curled up in Jake's side and despite everything, Nathan smiled at them. Glancing briefly at the TV, he caught wind of the newscaster saying something about a thunderstorm rolling in.
"How is she?" Jake asked when he spotted them.
Nathan shrugged as he grabbed a styrofoam cup from the stack of them and began to fill it with coffee. "Alright, I guess. She's sitting on a bench right outside."
"I didn't even know her mom was an alcoholic," Brooke mumbled quietly, picking at the skin around her nails. Her voice was laced with guilt.
"She never mentioned it to you girls?" Jake asked, shocked.
"I mean, she was drinking a few we were over her house, but I never got the impression she was an alcoholic," Peyton joined in. "Did she ever mention it to you, Nate?"
"No," Nathan muttered. He felt like a terrible boyfriend. Lydia drinking excessively would have obviously effected Haley in different ways and he felt like an idiot for not catching on to any of the signs.
"You would think that would be something that she would mention, to at least one of us," Brooke said with a sigh.
"Maybe she was embarrassed," Peyton supplied.
Lucas nodded towards Peyton. "That's a possibility."
"I wish she would have told me," Nathan murmured.
A loud boom of thunder and a flash of lighting across the night sky had them all jumping. It was seconds later that the pitter patter of rain against the window swallowed the silence of the room. Brooke slid out of Jake's embrace and stood up from the couch.
"I'm going to get Haley," She announced. "She shouldn't be outside during this storm. The news said it was supposed to be pretty brutal."
Nathan opened his mouth to protest, but quickly shut it when Brooke shot him a sharp look. He let out a long breath as he collapsed back on to the couch he was sitting on previously. Leaning his head against the wall, he closed his eyes. The last time he looked at the clock it was a little past twelve, it had to be nearing almost two in the morning now. Physically, he was exhausted. Mentally, he was wide awake with worry.
"Where did you say Haley was?"
Brooke's voice had his eyes popping open.
"She was sitting on the bench right outside the doors," Lucas answered.
"She's not there."
Nathan jumped out of his seat. His heart began to slam in his chest. "What do you mean she's not there?"
"I went out there and the benches are empty. I looked around and the only person out there was a security guard," Brooke explained, panicking.
"Where could she have gone?" Peyton asked, sitting up.
"Do you think she went to go see her mom?" Jake pondered.
Nathan shook his head, his stomach twisting uncomfortably. "She has to walk through the waiting room to get back there. We would've seen her walk by."
"Alright, alright, nobody freak out yet," Lucas soothed. "Maybe she just went to a different part of the hospital."
"I'll call her," Peyton offered, pulling her phone out of her pocket. She turned it on, before clicking on Haley's contact. Holding the phone up to her ear, she scrunched her nose when it went straight to voicemail. "Her phone must be off. It went straight to voicemail."
Nathan was starting to really worry. "Damn it, Luke, we shouldn't have left her!"
Lucas tossed his hands up in a defensive manner. "Let's just split up and look for her, okay? She came in an ambulance, so she doesn't have a car. She couldn't have left the hospital, I'm sure she's around here somewhere."
"I hope so."
~x~
"Damn it, Hales, where are you?" Nathan muttered to himself as he completed what felt like his millionth sweep around the hospital. There was no sign of her and his worry was quickly escalating. The storm outside was ragging on, sheets of rain crashing into the windows and shaking the entire building.
"Any luck?" Jake questioned as he rounded the corner, Brooke not far behind him.
"Nada," Nathan mumbled. "I tried calling her cell a few more times, but it still goes straight to voicemail."
A few seconds later, Lucas and Peyton came barreling around the opposite corner and Nathan's heart dropped into his stomach when he saw the look of sheer apprehension on their faces.
"We have a problem," Lucas panted, coming to a screeching halt in front of Nathan.
Nathan swallowed the lump in his throat. "What kind of problem?"
"We asked the security guard out front if he'd seen Haley and he said the last time he saw her, she was walking off the hospital grounds," Peyton revealed, her voice puffy. "She's gone, Nate."
Nathan's eyes widened. He was officially panicking. As if the higher powers wanted to torture he even more, another loud crack of thunder shook the hospital. "Fuck."
"Does any have any idea of where she could be?" Brooke asked.
"Maybe she went back to her house?" Jake suggested.
"That's way too far of a walk." Peyton quickly dismissed that idea. "What about your guys' apartment?"
Lucas shook his head. "Our apartment is even farther from here than her house."
"Okay," Brooke breathed out, her hands shaking. "Think, you guys."
Nathan started to pace the floor as he wracked his brain for ideas where Haley could have gone. There were a number of things walking distance from the hospital—coffee houses, restaurants, stores, the beach…the beach!
"I think I know where she is," Nathan announced, already heading towards the exit.
"Where? Nathan!" Lucas shouted after him, but his walking soon turned into a full on sprint.
~x~
Parking the car as close to the beach as he could get, Nathan swung the car door open and started running the familiar path to the secluded part of the beach as fast as he could. Almost instantly, he was soaked. The ice-cold rain stung as it pelted his skin, the wind threatening to sweep him away. Another flash of lightning illuminated the beach and he could see the clove just in reach. He prayed to God that the feeling in his gut was right.
His eyes strained when he noticed a dark figure sitting on the ground. His heartbeat sped up as pushed himself to run faster. Sure enough, the figure was Haley. He felt a short moment of reprieve before he realized that she was shaking violently. She had to be freezing. Her clothes were saturated, clinging to her body like a second skin. Her arms were wrapped around herself and her gaze was fixated before her.
"Haley!" Nathan shouted as he approached her. She didn't move or even acknowledge the fact that he was there.
He dropped to his knees beside her, blinking the rain out of his eyes. He placed his hand on her shoulder, but she still remained facing forward. He jumped when a crack of thunder rang out, the ground shaking slightly. If possible, the rain began to faller harder.
"Come on, Hales, we should get out of here," He pleaded with her, his breathing hard.
Still no movement. Sighing, he decided to take matters into his own hands. If they stayed out here any longer, Haley would probably freeze to death. Ever so softly, Nathan grabbed her hand and pulled her up from the ground. Surprisingly, she didn't protest. Her body felt limp, like a puppet and Nathan was the puppeteer.
He ushered Haley into his car, before cranking up the heat. He drove carefully and every few seconds, he glanced over at Haley to make sure she was okay. She was still shaking and just staring into space. The only thought on his mind was that he needed to warm her up. When he arrived back at his apartment, he sent Lucas a quick text to tell him what was going on. Then, he helped Haley up to his apartment and into his room. Turning to look at her, his knees buckled.
He was terrified.
Her usually warm eyes were glazed over—no emotion, just blank canvases. Her skin was ghostly white, a glossy porcelain shine as droplets of water trailed down the length of her body. Her lips were tinted a blue-ish purple, trembling as shiver after shiver shook her entire body. The wet strands of her blonde hair were plastered against her neck and the side of her face. Her arms were wrapped around her torso, her fingers clutching tightly to the soaked material of her green zip-up hoodie.
Nathan's heart ached in his chest. The shell of a girl standing in front of him wasn't Haley. She wasn't the same girl who was so full of life—a smile so bright it could put city lights to shame, a pair of eyes so loving it could warm even the coldest of hearts, and a personality so bubbly it was infectious. But, the scariest part of it all was that…this girl was Haley and that shook something so deep inside of him that it almost knocked him flat on his ass.
He'd always felt this need to protect her. It had burrowed itself inside of him from the moment he met her. But in that moment, it seemed to intensify to unthinkable heights.
Gently grabbing her arm, he pulled her into his bathroom. Tearing open the bathroom closet, he grabbed a few of the towels and quickly wrapped them around her trembling body. He ran his hands up and down the length of her arms as he tried to transfer some kind of heat into her body. It didn't take him long to realize his actions were barren. He frantically searched his bathroom and racked his brain for some kind of idea on how to help her.
In retrospect, the smart thing for him to do would have been to take her back to the hospital. But something told him that that was the last place she wanted to be. When his eyes landed on the shower, his thoughts seemed to untangle themselves. Moving quickly, he turned the nozzle to the shower on its hottest setting, before returning his attention back to Haley.
Swallowing hard, Nathan tenderly placed his hands on her forearms. "I have to get you out of these wet clothes, okay?"
Haley remained mute, the hauntingly still expression on her face not faltering even a little bit. The only indication that she had heard what Nathan said was her arms loosening from around her body. They dropped limp to her sides like heavy boulders. Cautiously, Nathan pulled the zipper of her hoodie southwards and inhaled sharply when the material slipped off her shoulders, leaving her in a black cotton bra. With shaky hands, he undid the button to her jeans and pulled the zipper down, the sound of the metal teeth unfastening loud in his ears. He yanked gently as the wet material clung to her skin.
Once her jeans were removed, he awkwardly reached behind her to unclip her bra. His hands were shaking. Sliding it off her body, he tossed it to the side. His heart was racing as he worked on removing her panties from her body, tossing those to the side, as well. If the circumstances were different, he would have taken the time to marvel over the fact that his girlfriend was standing in front of him—completely naked—and she was absolutely beautiful. But these circumstances weren't normal.
He half expected Haley to come out of her trance once he started removing her clothes. He knew how reserved she was and to see her not even blink an eye at being naked in front him made his heart ache. She was really starting to scare him. Seeing another shiver pass through her had Nathan springing to action. Quickly, he removed his clothes, leaving just his boxers on. With no resistance from Haley, he guided her into the shower.
Nathan's eyes refused to leave hers as he followed her into the shower. It wasn't until the warm water coated her skin did he see a sliver of life flicker in her eyes. The blank expression was quickly wiped from her face and Nathan watched in agony as a million different emotions flashed in her eyes. Seconds later, she seemed to crumble before him. Falling into his chest, she clung to him, her fingers digging into the flesh of his shoulders and arms. His heart shattered when the sounds of her sobs echoed through the bathroom and over the sound of the roaring water.
There'd only been a very small amount of moments in Nathan's life where he had felt completely and utterly helpless, but none of those moments measured up to the despair he was feeling then. All he could do was hold her and whisper soothing words to her, none of which seemed to be calming her down. He continuously ran his fingers through her hair and across her back.
Nathan wasn't sure how much time had passed before Haley's sobs started to subside. She had stopped trembling and the goosebumps on her skin were no longer visible. The color was starting to return to her lips. Her skin felt much warmer underneath his fingertips than it did moments before. She fell limp in his arms and he figured that the exhaustion was finally starting to catch up with her.
"Are you ready to get out?" Nathan asked softly.
Weakly, Haley nodded. She buried herself further into his chest when he reached around her to shut the water off. He stepped out of the shower first and swiftly grabbed one of the discarded towels from the floor. Wrapping it tightly around her body, he helped her step out of the shower.
"I'm going to get you a change of clothes, okay?"
Haley nodded, wrapping the towel tighter around her body.
Popping into his room, he discarded the boxers he was wearing and quickly redressed himself. Then he grabbed the closest pair of clean shorts and a t-shirt before heading back into the bathroom. Haley starred at him with red-rimmed eyes, reaching out her hand, palm facing upwards. He placed the clothes in her hands and breathed a sigh of relief when she blushed, motioning for him to leave so she could get dressed.
The weird trance she was in seemed to be broken and he'd never felt more relieved in his life.
~x~
Haley curled up in the comforter on Nathan's bed. A chill was still deep in her bones and her head still felt like she was underwater. Nothing felt real. Everything felt like a blur.
She couldn't remember how she ended up on the beach. The last thing she remembered was sitting on the bench outside of the hospital and feeling the intense need to get out of there. It was like an elephant was standing on her chest and no matter how much she gasped, she couldn't get air into her lungs. The next thing she knew, her feet were carrying her somewhere.
She wished she could describe how she was feeling, but no words seemed like the correct ones. She was angry, confused, sad, terrified…all of those emotions eating away are her caused her to shut down. The next time she came to face reality, she was standing in Nathan's shower and he was staring at her with so much worry. Everything seemed to explode inside of her and all of the tears she'd been holding back came pouring out.
It surprised her that she wasn't embarrassed about being naked in front of him, then again, she found herself not caring about anything.
She glanced over at Nathan, who was lying next to her. He was still wearing that same worried look on his face. Haley didn't mean to make him worry. He had been so amazing with her—at the hospital and now. He was everything that she needed.
"I'm sorry," Haley mumbled hoarsely, breaking the silence that formed between them.
Nathan's eyebrows rose, his forehead creasing. "You have nothing to be sorry for."
"Yes, I do," Haley argued. "I've upset you."
Nathan sat up and shook his head dismissively. "You didn't. I'm worried about you, but I'm not upset."
Haley sighed as she began to pick at the lint spotting Nathan's blanket. "I'm sorry for leaving."
"Why did you?" Nathan asked gently. He didn't want to push her, but he was hoping that she would talk to him. He always hated when people tried to pry into his business. He would need three sets of hands to be able to count for every time someone tried to force him into talking about his feelings. He knew how aggravating that was and he didn't want to put her through that.
"I-I don't really know," Haley said with a shrug. "I…I couldn't be there anymore, Nathan. I don't know what happened. I needed peace, I guess that's how I ended up at that spot on the beach. Subconsciously, I must have remembered what you said about it."
Nathan grabbed her hand and squeezed it comfortingly. He was terrible when it came to comforting people. He never knew what to say and more times than not, he changed the subject. He didn't want to do that this time. He didn't know how he was going to do it, but he was going to help her.
"Why didn't you ever tell me about your mom?" He asked next.
Haley visibly tense. Her stomach flip flopped as she swallowed dryly. "Because I thought I could handle it."
"Hales…"
She shook her head. Another sob was crawling back up her throat but she forced it down. Her eyes were burning with tears, but she refused to let them fall. "She broke her promise."
"Her promise?"
Haley nodded. She inhaled shakily, her voice quivering as she spoke. "My d-dad used to call my mom and I 'the toughest of the James clan.' No matter what, we rremained strong. P-people relied on us when things got tough."
Nathan's heart clenched in his chest when he saw a single tear fall down her cheek. The pain in her voice caused every hair on his body to stand straight up. It was clear that she was struggling to get the words out. "Baby, you don't have to do this."
"I need to," Haley insisted. The words were burning in the back of her throat, but she couldn't stop. The weight of the world felt like it was on her shoulders and she just couldn't take it anymore.
Nathan nodded as he scooted closer to her. Wrapping an arm around her, he pulled her so that she was half sitting in his lap. Tucking a piece of damp hair behind her ear, he kissed her softly. "Okay. Take your time."
Haley snuggled as close to him as she could get, her head resting against his chest. Her eyes closed as the soft sound of his heartbeat slowly soothed her. Sniffling, she forced herself to continue. "When I was about nine, my grandma died. It really hit my family hard. My mom and I, like always, were the shoulder to cry on. After the funeral, we were sitting at the wake, and my dad turned to look at us. He had tears in his eyes, and he told us that he was proud of us for being the glue that kept this family together. Then, he…he made us promise that we would always be strong."
Nathan's grip on her tightened when her voice cracked.
"She…she broke her promise," Haley cried, her eyes squeezing shut. It killed her to say that out loud. The memory was playing over and over again in her head, her chest burning.
"Shh, baby, it's okay," Nathan tried to soothe, his hands rubbing circles on her back. "I got you, it's okay."
Her fingers grabbed a fistful of his shirt as she struggled to breathe. "S-she wasn't always like this. She didn't start d-drinking until a year ago. It started as a glass of wine here and there. B-before I knew it, it became almost a b-bottle a night."
Nathan's stomach knotted up as he listened to her cry. She was babbling and he just let her go. He knew that she needed this. He had no idea that she had this much on her chest.
"She shut me out. She s-stopped talking to me. I started finding her passed out on the couch almost every night. Some nights she got so b-belligerent with me. She would scream at me, th-throw things at me…I didn't know who she was anymore. She wasn't my mom. It was l-like she stopped car-caring," She continued to rant, wheezing and whimpering.
A twinge of guilt and uneasiness bubbled up in Nathan's stomach as she continued to tell him all about Lydia and her drinking. Some of the behaviors that she described were way too familiar to him. He'd spent way too many nights to count drinking his sorrows away and he suddenly hated himself for his choices. Before he could wallow any further, Haley's weak voice broke through his thoughts.
"I-I didn't want to break my promise," She sniffled. "I didn't want to let my dad down. So, I decided that I could be strong for the both of us. That's why I never told anyone. I thought I could help her. I thought that if I could just be her shoulder to cry on, things would eventually get better. But, they're not. Sh-she tried to k-kill herself, Nathan. She tr-ied t-to…"
Haley was shaking in his arms, her hand pulling on his shirt. She was hysterically crying again and she couldn't stop no matter how hard she tried. Later, she would probably be embarrassed by her outburst, but right now she didn't care. She felt Nathan's lips brush against her forehead. His gentle voice was whispering to her, telling her to just breathe.
"I can't do it anymore," She choked out. "I'm tired. I'm just so tired."
"It's okay, baby, it's okay," He reminded her. He felt like a broken record, repeating himself over and over again. But that's all he could think to say. He wasn't sure if he she was speaking mentally or physically, but judging by her weak voice and their current conversation, he assumed she meant a little bit of both.
"I'm so tired," She repeated again, sniffling.
Nathan lifted her chin up and cupped her cheeks in his hands. Using the pads of his thumbs, he wiped the remaining tears and their tracks from her face. He could easily see how exhausted she was, her eyes low and glossy. "Why don't you get some sleep? I'm sure Lucas or Jake wouldn't mind staying at the hospital for a few more hours so you can rest."
Haley breathed in deeply, the sound shaky and uneven. "Are you sure?" She knew that she should have been at the hospital, but physically, she couldn't move. Her eyes were burning from exhaustion and every inch of her body felt like it was logged down. Mentally, she wasn't sure if she could sleep, but her body was practically begging her to at least try.
Nathan nodded. "I'm positive. Now, come on."
He carefully slid her off of his lap and laid her down on the mattress. Slipping under the covers next to her, she immediately curled up in his side. He didn't miss how tightly she latched on to him. He kissed the top of her head before beginning to idly draw invisible shapes on her back.
"Thank you," Haley mumbled softly into his chest.
Nathan planned to respond but was cut off by the sounds of Haley's heavy breathing. Looking down on at her, he sighed as the ache in his chest only intensified. Even in her sleep, the worry lines were etched deeply into her perfect skin. She looked so restless…broken.
From the moment Nathan met Haley, he was amazed by just how strong she was. Her ability to move on from all the pain in her life was astounding to him. But seeing her now and hearing what she'd been through since her father's death…she was even stronger than he initially realized. Everyone had their breaking points and in a strange, twisted way, he felt honored that he could there for Haley through hers. She'd been there for him so many times and now it was his turn to return the favor.
Nathan would be lying if he said he wasn't new to caring about someone, at least to caring about someone this much. He wished he could just snap his fingers and take all of her pain away. He wished he could do more than just talking to her or holding her. Regardless of what he wanted to do, he knew he was going to be anything that she needed him to be. Nothing else mattered right now—not Damien, not his grades, not anything.