Throughout the rest of the day, House would do small things to see how Wilson would react. Things like a pat on the shoulder, getting into his personal space, whispering things in his ear. Every time he did one of those things, he'd make sure to see how dilated the oncologist's pupils were. Across the board, his pupils were dilated at different levels depending on the stimulus. Obviously, it was working.

Wilson, however, was trying very hard not to think about what happened a few days prior. He felt incredibly guilty about masturbating to the sounds of his best friend, and if he thought about it more, he was sure he'd be spending more time in the bathroom than not. When they were driving to work, he kept his eyes on the road and barely spoke to House. When the diagnostician randomly barged into his office about a case, he'd keep himself calm, cool, and collected.

Today was like any other day for them. They were driving to work, House was making witty remarks, and Wilson was strictly thinking about driving and patients he had to see today. Only ten more minutes until they were at the hospital, then they would part ways (unless House decided to barge in hoping for an epiphany), meet up at lunch, see more patients, then return home. It would be another simple day, and Wilson would make sure of it.

Thing was… House had different plans. The night before, he had gone to the ATM on his block and took $210 out of his account in order to continue with his experiment. There were no cases today for his team to be distracted with, which meant step three of his plan could be executed.

"Alrighty minions," House announced as he entered his office. "I have a real fun one for ya."

His lackies were all sat around the table, looking incredibly bored.

"Who's the patient?" Foreman asked.

"Not a patient." House said as he approached the whiteboard. "It's an experiment that I need your help with."

"What kind of experiment?" Chase asked, clearly suspicious.

"A social experiment to get through the lies," House answered in a mock evil tone. He then picked up a marker and started writing. "The hypothesis is that someone we know is secretly in love with me."

In response to that, Chase and Foreman looked at Cameron.

"Not me! I haven't done anything-."

"Don't flatter yourself, the person in question…" House dramatically moved away from the whiteboard to reveal Project Woo Wilson on the board. "Does not have your genitalia."

Everyone looked confused and/or shocked by what was on the board. No doubt they thought House was crazy for thinking Wilson was in love with him, but when did they not think House was crazy? Or self obsessed?

"You think Wilson is in love with you?" Foreman asked.

House shrugged.

"Pretty obvious, isn't it? He enables me, worries about me, has a dreamy look in his eyes when we talk. All the signs are there."

Foreman merely shook his head.

"Why would we help you with this? There's nothing in it for us." Chase argued.

"Plus it could be degrading for the people involved." Cameron murmured.

"Well, I was prepared for that." House said as he got out a clip of money. "$50 up front for each of you if you help me, and an extra $10 for each task you complete. You could walk out of here $100 richer if you wanted."

House paused and looked at his group, who seemed to be seriously thinking it over.

"Come on! Five simple tasks and then you're free of the experiment. It's a cleaner, legal-er version of prostitution."

However, House hadn't considered Wilson possibly showing up at that moment. As soon as he saw Wilson's shoe in view, he flipped the whiteboard so that the other side was visible. He was not not going to use the whiteboard in this situation. It was too important! He also put the clip of money in his back pocket.

When the oncologist entered, he knew something was off. The team's doctor jackets were on, but there weren't any case files out. Not to mention House was standing at the whiteboard, but there was nothing on it. Maybe he had a chance to give House the case he had.

"What's going on?" He asked.

"Oh, just a little pep talk," House said. "The gang here is a bit depressed that we don't have a patient with a mysterious illness."

Wilson merely nodded and went over to House to give him the file.

"25 year old female, complaining of stomach pain, migraines, and-."

"Pregnant."

"What?" Cameron asked.

"She came to you because of a growth in her uterus since the folder is one of yours, and the growth doesn't look like a baby because it's deformed to the point of not actually being a baby anymore, 2 rare conditions in one. She's probably going to miscarry in a day or so, so I'd go tell her that she needs to stop having sex without a condom."

Everyone was silent. House had seen the girl waiting at the clinic a few days prior, and it was obvious that she pregnant but the baby was so deformed that there was no placenta, therefore it looked like a growth on her abdomen. It made sense that she'd be referred to Wilson as she probably wasn't experiencing normal pregnancy symptoms. Wilson looked confused and suspicious.

"I can't tell if you're trying to make me miserable or if that's your diagnosis."

"Diagnosis. Wouldn't want to make my special friend miserable now, would I?"

"'Special friend?'" Chase whispered to Foreman, who in turn shrugged.

Wilson immediately knew what House was referring to and he couldn't control the blush on his face. Thankfully, the team didn't know what they were talking about, so instead he cleared his throat, nodded, and left in a hurry.

They all watched Wilson scurry down the hallway in embarrassment. House could see that they all were starting to catch on from that little exchange, exactly as planned.

"Did you just see that?" Foreman asked.

"He blushed like a schoolgirl." Chase answered.

"Which means you have proof that the experiment could work, and have a higher chance of being paid." House interjected, one again flaunting the money clip. "Every task I assign will directly affect Wilson, so when you complete each one, take note of his pupil dilation, composure, and coloration."

"Why don't you just ask?" Cameron asked, clearly outraged at House's means of getting information.

Couldn't she hold off from the do-gooder act for one day? It really wore on House's nerves, especially in personal situations.

"Because he could lie and say he isn't interested in me, and I wouldn't have proof of his ulterior motives."

"And you'd be having fun." Chase said with an eye roll.

House looked at Chase with mock stunned expression.

"Wow, my Australian minion has learned my ways. Should give you all the money right now for it."

Again, silence as they looked at each other. Foreman looked to be seriously considering it, so was Chase, but Cameron was torn (as usual when it came to morals). Ultimately, he knew they'd agree. It'd cure the boredom they were all experiencing.