So… I'm so sorry that I haven't posted this! I've actually had the story finished for a few months, but posted it on Archive of Our Own and forgot to finish it here. That being said, this will probably be the last story I post here. I find AO3 much more user friendly (plus they are more receptive to my more-often-than-not NSFW stories), so I have switched to that as my primary publication method. If you want to continue to follow my new stories (and there are already plenty), find me on there. BeTheCheeto. Thanks!

Kakashi raised his hand, but couldn't bring himself to knock. His palms were sweating, and he was more nervous than he could remember ever having been before in his life. He had been ambling through town all night thinking about his conversation with Naruto, and had ultimately decided he needed to speak with Gai again. Now, as the beginning rays of early morning illuminated the street, he took a deep breath and steeled himself, forcing himself to knock. He heard footsteps crossing to the door, and his heart pounded louder with each step closer the man got.

When the door opened, Gai didn't actually look at his guest, gesturing Kakashi inside with a tired wave of his arm. Kakashi swallowed hard, unable to stop himself from wondering what Gai's behavior could mean for their relationship, for their friendship. He turned to Gai when they reached the living room, and thought about all that he had planned to say to him, but found that the words just wouldn't come. He was staring at Gai, bathed in the light of the rising sun streaming through the windows, and all he could think was how perfect this man was, how sweet and gentle, and all the many ways he could fuck everything up and destroy this innocent, caring and thoughtful creature.

"Gai, I…" he started, his voice thick.

Gai held up a hand to stop him. "No, Kakashi. It is I who should be sorry. I… I've known you for a long time. I know your fears and your pain. I should not have asked you to give to me that which I know you cannot. I cannot possibly expect you to. After all, I have never managed to prove myself your equal in the many years that I have called myself your rival. I should know that you cannot possibly want someone as inferior to you as myself, but I promise I have challenged myself to become better…"

He was cut off by a finger pressed to his lips, Kakashi finally managing to break out of his shocked stupor to stop the ridiculous nonsense coming out of his lover's mouth. "Gai… I've long thought of you as my equal in all things, and in many, much better than I could ever be. You can keep up with me in any challenge, kick my ass in at least half of them, and still come out the better person and promising that you'll do even better next time. Compared to you, everything about me is inferior," he said quietly.

Gai stared in awe, tears starting to leak from the corners of his eyes. "You… you really mean it, rival?" he asked around Kakashi's finger. His voice betrayed his tears, and Kakashi chuckled lightly, shaking his head.

"Of course I mean it, Gai," he said quietly, moving his hand from in front of Gai's lips to cup his cheek. He watched the older man carefully as he brought his lips to Gai's, his eyes instinctually closing as he reveled in the feeling of those warm, slightly chapped lips against his own.

Gai groaned when Kakashi deepened the kiss, wrapping his arms around slim shoulders and losing himself in the moment. Before either of them knew what was happening, they were making their way down the now-familiar path to Gai's bedroom, shedding clothes as they went. By the time Gai had pushed Kakashi down on the bed, Kakashi was down to his pants, and Gai's suit was bunched up around his waist as their bare chests pressed together, Gai occasionally reaching between them to pinch Kakashi's nipples. Gai climbed atop him, losing himself in the feeling of rightness that settled over him at the now-familiar sequence of events.

When Kakashi moaned beneath him, however, he remembered the events of the past 24 hours, and he hesitated. Kakashi didn't seem to notice at first, too focused on working both of them out of the confines of their pants. When he had Gai's cock in his hand, he frowned upon realizing that despite the situation, he didn't have the man's full attention. "Gai?" he asked, his hand slipping off his crotch.

Gai shook himself, giving Kakashi a rather fake smile. "I am fine, rival. Just distracted, that is all."

Kakashi raised an eyebrow. "If you wanted to make me believe you, that sure as hell isn't how to do it."

Gai shook his head. "It's fine. Let's keep going," he said. He reached down and unfastened his lover's pants, and when Kakashi's cock was out, pressed his hips down against it, and Kakashi seemed willing to push his mood off to deal with at a later time. Meanwhile, Gai thought about the conversations they had had in the last 24 hours, and debated on what he should do even as he thrust his hips against Kakashi's.

Gai ground his hips against Kakashi's again, their hard members rubbing against each other and causing the younger man to groan in frustration. Despite his internal struggle, Gai couldn't help but smirk as Kakashi bucked up against him, desperate for release. He wrapped a hand around Kakashi, who gasped and bucked up. Gai frowned, pinning Kakashi's hips down with his knees as he started pumping him at a torturously slow pace.

"Unh… Gai, please…" Kakashi begged, burying his face in Gai's neck. Gai swallowed hard, still unsure whether this was a good idea or not. In truth, he wasn't trying to torment his lover, but to buy himself time to decide if he could do this right now. He didn't want to end up back at square one, where he had an amazing relationship with Kakashi in the bedroom but nothing changed outside of it. However, that tantalizing pale body was moaning and writhing beneath him, and it took all of his control not to claim the beautiful man that he so desperately wanted to be his, and his alone, in all the ways he had learned Kakashi loved.

With great effort, he pulled his hand from Kakashi, and heard a whimper of protest in response. He pulled back, moving to sit up, and read the confusion in Kakashi's lust-filled eye. "I'm sorry, Kakashi… I don't think I can do this…" he whispered, unable to meet his lover's eye.

Kakashi stared in disbelief as the haze of lust cleared, and he realized what Gai was saying. He struggled to control his breathing, to will his erection to go down, but with Gai sitting in front of him, his broad muscular chest shimmering with a faint sheen of sweat, he quickly gave that up for lost. He sat up with effort, staring down at the floor between his feet and he and Gai sat in silence for a moment. When Gai stood, his mind raced, desperately trying to land on anything that would make the man stop putting his jumpsuit back on. Anything that would make him stay. "I'm sorry…" he choked out. He heard Gai pause in dressing, and struggled to keep going. "I'm so sorry, Gai… I know that I hurt you, and I understand if you can never forgive me, but… I can't lose you…"

There was a pregnant pause before Kakashi felt the bed dip beside him. He didn't dare to look up at Gai, but could practically hear the wheels turning in the man's head. "You'll never lose me, Kakashi," Gai said. "After all, I promised eternal rivals, right?"

Kakashi's eyes closed, and the tears he had been fighting back leaked out. So that was it, then. He had ruined it, any chance they had at happiness. And he had no one but himself to blame. "I can't, Gai…"

Gai looked up at his best friend, shocked. "What do you mean…"

Kakashi shook his head. "I can't just be friends anymore… Now that I know what I'm missing… I'll always want more. Always want this," he gestured between the two of them, and the bed on which they were sitting. "I can't just be friends."

Gai swallowed thickly. "And I can't just be this, Kakashi. I can't be your… your fuck buddy and not want all of you."

Kakashi's startled gaze rose to meet Gai's sad eyes. "Gai, I… I could never think so little of you to want nothing from you but sex. I… I would be lying if I said that I proposed having our first time, sober at least, on that mission didn't have a purpose. That way, if it didn't go well, or if I wanted an out, I could say it was just a mission fling. I know that I'm notorious for not keeping lovers around, but I couldn't bear the thought of hurting you by starting what you thought was a relationship if it didn't mean the same to me. And at first, I thought that's all it would be. That we would screw around on that mission, come home, and things would go back to normal." Gai schooled his features to contain his hurt, ready to stop Kakashi. He couldn't bear to hear anymore.

"That was what I thought I wanted. But then, we got home, and… I hadn't had enough of you. I still wanted more. I wanted you. It was all I thought about. And I tried to fight it, tried to tell myself that it wasn't what I thought it was. But I knew then that this was more than that, more than just sex, more than I've ever had with anyone. And it scared me, but I wanted you so badly that I wouldn't even classify it as desire. It was need. I needed you, and not just your body. So I gave in, and let us become something. And that time… it meant more to me than I can say. Knowing that you were all mine was the most thrilling and satisfying feeling I've ever experienced. But… it didn't fix me. When you told me you loved me, I… I panicked. The only people who ever told me they loved me are dead; one of them, I killed with my own hands. And so, I did the only thing I was good at; I ran. I saw the love and the future that you were offering me, and all I could think was… I don't deserve it. I've hurt too many, failed too many people to deserve your love. To deserve you."

Gai was quickly in front of him, kneeling on the ground and holding Kakashi's face to force one tear-filled grey eye to lock with forgiving black. "Kakashi…" he whispered. "I didn't know… how could I have been so stupid. I'm sorry, 'Kashi." He wrapped his arms around the now trembling silver-haired man, holding him tightly. "I love you, Kakashi. Nothing will ever change that." And Kakashi clung to him, tears soaking the spandex on his chest. Gai pushed the body beneath him back down onto the bed, curling his naked lover up against him and holding him until they both drifted off into a much-needed sleep, the peace of the day and their newfound happiness allowing them both better rest than they'd had in a very long time.

When they woke several hours later, Kakashi found Gai still holding him and playing with his hair as he stared down at him, his eyes full of adoration. Gai gave him a beaming smile when Kakashi blinked sleepily up at him. "Morning," Kakashi muttered.

"Good morning, my love," Gai responded, his voice deep and full of affection.

Kakashi laid his head back down on Gai's chest, listening to the man's steady heartbeat as he enjoyed the peaceful silence. He sighed contentedly. "What are you thinking about?" he asked quietly.

Gai chuckled lightly. "You know me too well, my love." He paused, seeming to think very carefully about his next words. "I've been thinking of something I would like to try… It's something that has been on my mind for some time, but now that we are an official couple, I think we should try it."

Kakashi looked up at him, intrigued. "Well, what is it?"

Gai let out a deep breath. "I want to know what it feels like for you when we make love."

Kakashi raised an eyebrow, blinking to clear the last vestiges of sleep from his mind as he considered what Gai was saying. "Wait… are you saying you want…"

Gai nodded. "I want to have you inside of me."

Kakashi's eye widened briefly, but he breathed deeply, keeping his calm even as his cock stirred in his pants. "You mean… now?"

Gai swallowed thickly before nodding. "Yeah, why not?"

Kakashi nodded, pulling himself up to plant a gentle kiss on his lover's lips. "Sure… why not?" he whispered, trailing gentle kisses and bites down the man's throat. His fingers traced over toned abs, and Gai shivered under the attentions. Kakashi smiled, kissing his way down Gai's chest. If he was being completely honest with himself, he had thought about this many times, wondering what it would be like to have Gai panting and needy beneath him, but he had decided that he couldn't ask that of Gai when he couldn't give Gai what he had always subconsciously known the other wanted. However, if Gai was offering… well, who was he to deny the man he loved what he wanted?

He started to strip his lover, and as he did so, he continued his trail of bites and kisses down Gai's chest and over his abdomen. When he freed Gai's straining cock, the taijutsu master moaned when he wasted no time sliding it into his mouth. He flipped open the lube he had stealthily grabbed from under the pillows, too impatient to really take his time with foreplay. They had been so close this morning, and Kakashi could still feel the effects of his denied orgasm. He figured he would just have to make it so good that Gai would allow him to take his time the next time they did it this way.

When a slick finger pressed against Gai's entrance, he jumped. He hadn't even known Kakashi grabbed lube, and this was progressing much quicker than he had expected. However, when Kakashi's concerned eyes looked up at him, he smiled reassuringly. After all, it didn't hurt, it just felt… strange. When that finger pressed in, he felt slight pressure, but there was also something about it that was unexplainably good, and he focused on that, finding that the discomfort eased quickly with the gentle twisting of the finger.

Kakashi watched Gai's face, slowly pressing in a second finger when he felt Gai's body relaxing. He gently twisted and scissored his fingers, searching until Gai gasped and moaned loudly above him. He smirked as he pressed in the third finger, rubbing Gai's prostate with each pass. "Oh, fuck, Kakashi!"

Kakashi watched for a moment longer as he drove Gai insane with pleasure before pulling his fingers out abruptly, smiling mischievously at the whimper he let out with loss of contact. Kakashi got up onto his knees above Gai, running his slick hand over himself, and he could feel Gai's doubt starting to resurface. He kissed his lover's forehead, his cheeks, and finally his lips. "Don't worry, Gai. I'll go easy, and if you don't like it, we'll stop. Okay?"

Gai bit his lip, nodding. Kakashi smiled at him, claiming his lips in a hot kiss to distract him from the feel of the press of his cock against his entrance. When he began to push, Gai moaned as the blunt head slipped through the slightly resisting ring of muscle, stretching him much wider than Kakashi's fingers had, but at the same time, something about the burn made him feel so much more connected to the man he loved, and he craved more. "Please, Kakashi… more…" he begged.

Kakashi smirked as he pressed in a little faster, not fast enough to hurt him, but enough to appease his natural tendency to go a little farther than he should a little too fast. It seemed to please him, because Gai moaned, "Oh, yeah… just like that…"

When Kakashi bottomed out inside of him, Gai was panting and struggling to breathe. Kakashi paused, watching his lover carefully. "Well… how do you feel?" he asked cautiously.

"Gods, Kakashi… it feels so good… Please, need you to move…"

Kakashi smiled, resuming their kiss as he obeyed the man's orders. Gai moaned loudly as Kakashi pulled out and completed his first full thrust, and Kakashi moaned as well. It had been a long time since he had been inside anyone, and he had almost forgotten how good it felt. Plus, this was Gai's first time having anyone inside him, so he was tight. Very tight. Kakashi kissed Gai passionately as he started a relentless rhythm inside of him, breaking the kiss only when breathing became more important than sharing their passion.

Pulling away, Kakashi bent his head as he thrust deep into the willing body beneath him, panting as he watched his cock disappear inside his lover again and again. Coal black eyes watched his face intently as he curled and straightened, tearing a moan from that sculpted jaw as Gai's fingers tightened almost painfully on his biceps. After one particularly hard thrust, Gai gasped and his back arched up towards his lover.

Kakashi's eyes flew to meet Gai's and he froze momentarily at the raw emotion he saw reflected in them. Gai closed his eyes, groaning when Kakashi stopped thrusting, bucking his hips in a desperate attempt to get more of that delicious friction inside. "Kashi, please… please don't stop…" he begged, still trying desperately to push against Kakashi, but Kakashi seemed frozen, hovering above him.

He cracked his eyes open to make sure Kakashi was okay and was assaulted with a torrent of unchecked emotion on Kakashi's face. He stopped moving, locked down by the intensity of Kakashi's eyes as they stared at him, feeling as though he could read Kakashi's every thought and feeling.

Kakashi tried to fight his emotion, giving Gai an unexpectedly hard thrust that caused the larger man to cry out in unbridled pleasure in an attempt to distract himself from the words that were running in circles around his head, banging on the walls, desperate to come out. But he was unsuccessful, staring into the black orbs that showed that everything he was feeling was returned tenfold, and before he knew it, the words spilled out. "I love you," he gasped out, and Gai froze beneath him, staring at him with eyes full of raw emotion and unrestrained lust.

"Kakashi…" he whispered, and their eyes locked as they just watched each other for a moment before Gai reared up and dragged Kakashi's mouth to his, kissing him with hunger and passion. They kissed until the both pulled away gasping for air, and then Gai started to trail sweet kisses down Kakashi's throat. Kakashi moaned as he started to thrust again, slow but deep, into his lover. "'Kashi… I love you… God, I fucking love you," Gai moaned between kisses, and Kakashi groaned in pleasure as his pace increased. Kakashi wasn't sure how long he'd last like this, so he reached between them to begin stroking his lover.

"Oh, Kakashi… yes… oh, fuck yeah… please, Kakashi… come in me…"

Kakashi groaned hearing that. "Fuck, Gai… nnh… I'm close…" He sped the pace of his hand, and with just a few more strokes, Gai spilled between them, his essence painting their chests. Kakashi followed not long after, collapsing on top of the broader man in his afterglow.

It took a few moments before Kakashi could find the energy to pull out, and he didn't really feel like moving, so he just grabbed his undershirt and started cleaning Gai up. Gai watched him interestedly, but waited until he was done to hold open his arms and cuddle his love to his chest.

"Did you truly mean what you said last night, rival?" Gai asked, going for nonchalance but failing miserably.

Kakashi swallowed hard, his fingers pausing in the small, gentle patterns they were drawing out on Gai's left pec. "Yes…" he said quietly, his voice hoarse with emotion. "I don't deserve you at all. But Gai, despite all that, if you can forgive me for my flaws and settle for being with someone like me… I'm one hundred percent yours, if you'll have me…"

Just then, fingers gently gripped his chin, and his face was pulled up to look into Gai's beaming eyes, overflowing with happy tears before the older man whispered, "Of course I'll have you, rival. I wouldn't have it any other way."