So I saw this post and came up with this idea of Louie having some sort of anxiety disorder. And thus, I came up with this shit show! Warning, tears may be shed. This is literally about him having a panic attack. You have been warned.
When he was just a kid, everything was fun and games. Joking around, going on great adventures, being fearless. That's what he was known for, being fearless. It was hard work to put on that confident facade. At first, it was to have fun with himself and to build his self-confidence. Being known as a sissy who cried at everything wasn't the best. However, as time passed and he grew older, it felt as though he needed to please himself and satisfy his family by being his fearless self. He knew this was all in his head, but he couldn't stop the vicious cycle. It was too wild to stop, and he was too emotionally drained to do anything about it. Keeping up an image now is the most difficult thing he's ever done, and yet it feels impossible to pull himself out of the belief that he has to do this every single day.
The school bell rang and the remaining students sat at their desks. Louie hated this class so much. Not because he found the subject one of the more duller topics to hear about every day, but rather his teacher wasn't the best. She never cared about other student's feelings or self-being. Kids weren't allowed to use the restroom or go to the nurse's office in the class. No one enjoyed the teacher and it was quite common for students to skip this class.
However, as the classroom door opened, everyone cheered. A substitute had appeared, and Louie cheered along as well. He was distracted from his anxious feelings. Almost.
"I know your teacher isn't here today," the substitute said, "but we're still going to do the presentations like your teacher asked."
The whole class groaned in unison except for Louie. Louie just sat there, feeling light and clammy. He could feel his body shaking and he hopes no one else noticed. It felt as though his happy emotions became rotten and fell right down to the pit of his stomach. Why was he feeling this way? Why did he always feel this way whenever they had to do presentations or if a student came up to him and started talking? He would just take a deep breath and act like nothing was wrong, but it was much more difficult to do that today.
"According to your teacher's list, Louie Duck is first?" she said.
Louie hated going first, or going at all. Despite having finished the presentation a week early, having spent two weeks with deep research, had his brother Huey help him all throughout, and had everyone help him modify his presentation slightly (Mrs. Beakley helped quite a lot he had to admit), he still felt unprepared. He even made note cards like Huey suggested. Yet he could feel them getting soggier by the minute.
He sighed, standing up and slowly making his way up front. As he loaded up his powerpoint, he could hear students whispering amongst themselves. That's when his mind thought it was a good time to send his anxiety overboard.
What were they talking about? Did they notice how nervous he was? Was that person staring at him briefly? What did he do? Did he forget to wear clothes? Was there something on his face? Was there a rumor going around?
"Louie, whenever you're ready," the teacher said, smiling. Louie jumped, scared from the sudden voice.
A few students giggled. Were they laughing at him? Yes, they were definitely laughing at him. They had to be. What else were they laughing at?
His head began to ache, his movements feeling light, his voice disappearing. He could feel his throat closing up and his head becoming dizzy.
"I," he said, "I have to go to the restroom!" he managed to get out, standing up abruptly and running out of the classroom.
Were kids laughing at him, thinking how stupid he was? Probably. As he ran out, he dumped his notecards all over. He didn't notice, however, and kept on running towards the bathrooms.
He finally made it. He didn't look to see which restroom he was going in, but luck was on his side as he entered the male restrooms. Louie felt for the first door that felt loose and pushed it open, slamming the door behind him and not bothering to lock it.
Louie's eyes stung badly, tears begging to be free. He didn't put up a fight and let the warm, salty tears flow down his face. He wept loudly, making choking sounds as his throat kept opening and closing while he cried. Louie was kneeling on the grimy bathroom floors, too weak to stand up or move. His sinuses blocked up quickly with snot from all the crying.
His head throbbed in pain, his voice weak and fading in and out. He still couldn't think straight, but he was coming down from anxiety land.
Louie didn't know how much time had passed; a few seconds, a couple of minutes, maybe an hour or so? All he knew was that he was finally feeling better. Not ready to take on the day by any means, but ready enough to pull himself through the presentation and then probably skip the rest of the class.
A few trickles of tears streamed down his cheeks, but he didn't care. With the strength that he had, he managed to stand himself up. He breathed in, and out. In and out. In and out.
"Let's just get this done and over with," he said quietly. He pushed the door open and approached the sink, investigating himself in the mirror.
His eyes were red with irritation and his lids were puffy from the crying. His hair was sticking up from who knows what. Louie's knees felt sore from kneeling on the tiled floor.
With a weak hand, he turned the faucet on and let ice cold water pour out of the spout. He rinsed his hands, cupping his palms and collected some water before splashing it in his face. He shook his head slightly, not wanting to worsen the terrible headache he already had going on. Louie turned the faucet off and shook his hands dry, not bothering to get himself a paper towel.
He pushed the heavy door open and took his time walking back to the classroom, thinking of an excuse as to his outburst. After all, he couldn't just tell the whole class that he had social anxiety. He hasn't even told a single soul in his family about it yet.