First af all I am sorry for never updating and not answering to comments about when I'll update next. (also this story still gets regular visitors? How and why?) Life sucks and the last couple of months were terrible. So enjoy this chapter because I have no idea when I'll b able to upload next.

Chapter 9 – Thinking

Eleanor couldn't breathe.

The door to her mother's chambers was open, revealing the Queen and Liam both standing there in shock. Eleanor could see the anger in her mother's eyes, Liam appeared just to be confused.

„Eleanor Henstridge. Answer me right now! "

She wished she had an answer she could give her mother that won't make the queen lock her up for the rest of her life. Instead she stayed silent, looking in the opposite direction of the hallway.

„I guess I should leave you alone then. You know how to reach me, if you ever need me. "

Eleanor had completely forgotten about Beck standing in front of her but not he was smiling sadly before turning away from her and leaving her alone with her mother and brother.

It broke her heart to see him leave just like that but a part of her was relieved. For so many years he had left her over and over again to give his wife another and another chance but now it was Eleanor who decided not to be with him. He would never have this kind of power over her again, to make her suffer over something she had no control over.

Right now she understood why Jasper was so obsessed with controlling everything. But sadly she had no control over her mother's reaction.

With Beck gone there was nothing standing between her family and her and she could almost feel the queen's anger in the air.

„Lenny? "

Eleanor didn`t know what to do or say so she ran.

She could hear her mother trying to stop her but she didn't stop.

Her entire life she had lived in the Palace, so her legs led the way through the familiar hallways.

She had been panicking before, when she ran away from Beck but now there was no panic, only the desperate need to get away from this place and away from her family. Even from Liam.

On her way to the tunnels she made a quick stop at her room grabbing her purse and her phone before she left, ignoring all calls from the queen, Liam or Ted, who saw her escape on camera and was worried about her safety.

Even the confused taxi driver, who wasn't used to driving the princess around, she ignored. She paid the man once they came to a stop in front of Jaspers apartment, having no idea how much it actually cost and paying way too much.

Never in her life had she been out alone, without security, in a random taxi in the middle of the night.

In the back of her mind she could hear Ted telling her over and over and over again how dangerous it was for her to be without security but she just didn't care. Never really did. Also there was as good as no risk she wouldn't take to be away from the Palace right now.

Jasper was more than shocked when he opened the door after his nap was roughly interrupted by the door bell and finding Eleanor standing in front of him with tears rolling down her cheeks and smudged make-up.

Of course he was worried and curious but for now, all he did was scoop her up in his arms and carrying her to the couch.

Eleanor felt safe.

She never thought she could feel so protected with someone – physically and emotionally. She felt save enough to just cuddle deeper into his shirt and let her tears flow without hesitation.

She could feel his hands rubbing her back soothingly and whispering how everything was going to be alright.

Usually no one got to see her like this. As long as she could think she always hid her tears and her pain from everyone – including her family. They knew she was never okay but thanks to her drugs and her attitude they never got to see what her mental state actually looked like.

With Jasper things were different.

She could try her hardest to hide her pain and her desperation from him, he would always see right through her. In the beginning this was more of a curse than a blessing but as time went by he came to be one of the few places she didn't need to pretend. She could just be herself with all her flaws and quirks. Without putting on a mask or numbing her thoughts.

Once her tears dried down Jasper didn't even think about letting her go. Instead he was waiting until she was ready to talk.

„They know. "

Of course they did.

They had been pretty naive to think they could hide their marriage from the Queen and Liam longer than a few hours. They should have known there was no secret save from anyone in the Palace. Never was – never will be.

„How did they react? "

„I'm not sure. Mother was angry, obviously. But I didn't listen what they had to say, I came here instead. "

„We should probably call Ted and tell him you're fine. I mean, you came here without security, do you know how dangerous that is. First Vegas, now this? "

Eleanor knew he was worrying about her but mostly his words made her smile and roll her eyes.

„Everything I do is dangerous, I wouldn't have married you if it was any other way. "

Jasper only laughed at her reasoning.

She got up to fetch her phone. Ignoring all missed calls and messages once again she quickly texted Ted to let him know she was safe an there was no need to worry.

„If you want something to eat we need to order take out by the way. I haven't had the time to buy groceries yet. "

„That's fine. As long as I can stay here with you everything is alright. "

„Of course you can. As long as I live you can always stay with me. "

Sometimes Eleanor had to wonder if Jasper was aware of the sentimental shit he was talking but she was glad he did.

And she knew he was right.

He was her home and she was his.