Meanwhile, on Mobius…
Sonic and Amy we're walking down a quiet, empty alleyway, like the kind you would find in the empty, economically crippled city of Detroit, Michigan, but better because on Mobius there's very little chance of encountering a pack of feral black people. Amy decided to break the silence. "Sonic… I… I need to tell you something." Sonic looked over coldly, and Amy continued. "I uh… I don't like Jazz." There wasn't even a millisecond of hesitation on Sonic's part, Amy was caught off guard by how quickly he responded. "What do you mean you don't like Jazz?" Amy paused awkwardly. "It just mean that uh, when I listen to it I uh, I don't really like it." Sonic was quick to respond again. "What do you fucking mean you don't like fucking Jazz?" Amy starting shaking in fear. "Whoa, calm down Sonic, you're scaring me." "I think I'm gonna puke all over my Jazz shoes," replied Sonic. "Jesus Christ, are you okay?" asked Amy. Sonic began taking off his shirt. "I'm sweating so much right now." He turned to Benito Mussolini, "You hear this Duce? She says she doesn't like Jazz." Mussolini replied, "Oh my god, I can't feel my legs."
Sonic used his Millennium Puzzle to become Chris Brown, and then he gave Amy five across the face. "You're a real dumb cunt Amy, you know that?" He said. Amy fell to the ground and began sobbing violently. Benito Mussolini nodded like Jack Nicholson with quiet approval from a distance. Everything was right in the universe.
Across town at the local mosque Knuckles and Tails were reading the Qur'an because they knew that being superheroes alone was not enough to face Allah (subhanahu wa ta'ala) in the afterlife. Tails went to the restroom.
As he began to let it rip into the urine coated trough, he was joined by Bill Murray the Hedgehog. Tails made no immediate note of it, as he didn't care much for Ghostbusters. Each let out the awkward sigh one does while urinating in a public bathroom. Moments later, Tails piss met with that of Bill Murray in the central drain, and the mixture began emitting a mystifying glow.
There was a flash.
Tails, Knuckles, Sonic, Amy, Bill Murray the Hedgehog, and Benito Mussolini found themselves standing next to Elaine and Kramer outside a comedy club, surrounded by police officers. Startled by the appearance of non-whites, the police officers opened fire. George and Bill Murray strolled out the back door just in time to witness Sonic shredding the police to bits with his light dash. "Hehe, stupid cops. Fuck the police am I right guys? Hehe, radical!" Sonic said. At that moment, Jerry Seinfeld rounded the corner, evidently done with his act, not expecting to see scores of dead police, and a group of mobians from another universe and also beloved Italian leader Benito Mussolini. Although surprised by the scene, Jerry was not disappointed. Everyone began to make each other's acquaintance. Except for Bill Murray the Hedgehog, he was shot through the heart, and everyone was too late. They gave love a bad name. He was dead. "Fuck that guy." Said Amy. Everyone nodded in agreement. They left his shambling corpse on the ground of the parking lot and left together.
"It looks like me and my friends have been transported onto your planet," said Tails. "This must be the work and will of Allah (subhanahu wa ta'ala)," intoned Knuckles. Kramer leaned over to George's ear and whispered, "I swear these Syrian refugees are always so strange." "Well it's a good thing you showed up when you did, you really saved us from the police there." Elaine said, thanking Sonic and the gang. "Heh, no problemo! We killed all the cops on Mobius a long time ago! That's why our world is one big paradise!" Elaine then made possibly the only intelligent statement she would ever make in her lifetime. "If there's one thing that's true no matter where you are in the universe, I guess it's that all cops are bastards." Everyone laughed.
"How did this happen?" Wondered Tails. Bill Murray began to speak. "It's quite simple really, this is what happens when you cross the streams. The disturbance creates a hole in the fabric of time and space, and the matrix immediately tries to rectify the anomaly in anyway it can. Somehow, it was resolved by splicing your guys' place in the Dasein with ours." "Wait a minute, what do you mean by cross the streams?" Questioned Tails. "Pee streams. Mine and George's here." "Oh that makes sense," said Tails, "I was transported here when my pee mixed with Bill Murray the Hedgehogs pee in a trough. The universe must have neutralized two disturbances at the same time by mixing them together, and that's how we all got here." "Makes sense to me," said Amy stupidly. Sonic was getting ready to feed her her just deserts again, but before he could Jerry just kicked her in the head. "Shut the fuck up, bitch." Amy began to cry again. Although she was right and it did make a lot of sense, she still had stupid girl brains and needed to learn to speak only when spoken to.
Just then, the gang heard evil laughter on the horizon, and Dr. Eggman came floating towards them in a ship that looked like the interior of a Mazda Miata genetically fused with a cheap Wal-Mart cereal bowl. "Aw gee-whiz, it's Egg-balls," said Sonic. It was a funny comment because testicles otherwise knowns as balls are vaguely egg-shaped, and when mixed with Eggman's name it sounds like an insult. Sonic was a very clever hedgehog. Everybody laughed, except for angry, who took offense. "You're lucky Sonic! If I didn't have to go to a bar-mitzvah right now you'd be in for a world of hurt!" Eggman left. Everybody already thought he was Jewish because of his big fat fucking Jew nose, but now it was confirmed. "He'll fit right in in New York City!" Exclaimed Jerry. Everyone laughed. It was funny because there are way too many Jews in New York City.
"If Eggman is here, that must mean more people we know must have made the leap from our realm! I wonder who else is here." Said Tails. "I hope you didn't bring any more Jews," said Kramer. "I wouldn't worry about that." Knuckles smiled, winked, and gave a thumbs up. "Our friend Il Duce here took care of most of them a while ago."
"You guys seem alright, why don't we all go back to my place to get to know each other a little better?" Suggested Jerry. "That sounds tubular, I'm down!" Replied Sonic. "Yeah! Sounds fun!" Said Tails. "By Allah (subhanahu wa ta'ala), I think it would be good to take some time and figure things out." Said Knuckles. Amy began to speak but Sonic interrupted, "Nobody fucking asked you Amy, you stupid whore!" Everyone laughed.
And with that, they all ventured off with hopes of cracking open a cold one with the boys in their hearts.