Kramer was just wakin' up in the mornin' gotta thank God. He didn't know but today seemed kinda odd; no barking from the dogs, no smog, and he opened up a brand-new Keurig machine, one of over a thousand he had recently ordered, and tossed it out the window. "I won't let Hannity be silenced," he muttered to himself, as he began the awkward, morningwood-laiden stroll to the bathroom. Not too long afterward, Elaine burst into the apartment. "Jerry! Jerry! You won't believe what just happened to me!" Jerry, upset by being waken up by a screaming whore, quickly pulled a pillow over his mouth and screamed "bitch" into it, before rolling out of bed and going to greet Elaine. "Jerry! I was just walking back from my morning coffee when some maniac almost hit me with a Keurig machine he threw out the window." "Well," started Jerry, "I'm glad there are people out there who aren't willing to let Hannity be silenced." Elaine flashed Jerry that stupid fucking look from the TV show where she does like a half-shrug and squints her eyes with her mouth open. Everybody was awake, and nobody cared about her boring story.
Sonic burst into the room carrying one of those containers that health-product powders are always stored in. "Hey Jerry," he snickered, "What's this stuff, dude?" Before Jerry could respond, Kramer appeared from the bathroom, dripping wet from a shower. "Why, that's Brain Force!" "Brain Force?" replied Sonic, "Yeah, Brain Force PLUS," Kramer grabbed the container, held it up by his head, and looked toward a hypothetical camera. "Flip the switch and supercharge your state of mind with the all new Brain Force PLUS: 20% more capsules and a critically enhanced formula featuring a brand new ingredient and increased potency – all for the same low price." Sonic and his friends all stared in amazement and said, "wow." "Tell us more!" pleaded Knuckles.
Kramer chuckled, and raised an eyebrow, "well…" he looked back at the hypothetical camera. "Top scientists and researches agree: we are being hit by toxic weapons in the food and water supply that are making us fat, sick, and stupid. It's time to fight back with Brain Force PLUS from InfoWars and InfoWars Life, the next generation of advanced neural activation and nootropics. This all new enhanced formulation not only contains 20% more capsules per bottle, but has been enhanced for maximum potency and even contains a brand new ingredient called Black Pepper Fruit Extract for an added kick. Alex Jones has himself stated, 'Brain Force has been an absolute favorite among thousands of listeners, with hundreds of 5-star reviews coming in from certified third party review sites. Now, with Brain Force PLUS, we have gone the extra level. This is what I take before a hard-hitting show. I absolutely love it, and the crew does too. This stuff is over the top powerful.' Now if that's not enough to convince you, let me tell you about some of the ingredients. Bacopa Herb Extract, which is traditionally used as an important neurological tonic and cognitive enhancer in Ayruvedic medicine. Alpha-GPC is a natural compound found in the brain that delivers choline, a water-soluble essential nutrient, across the brain barrier. It's got Yerba Mate Leaf Powder, containing natural amounts of caffeine, yerba mate is also loaded with polyphenols like quercetin, as well as potassium, magnesium, and manganese. L-Theanine is an amino acid that is one of the key constituents of green tea; it helps transmit nerve impulses in the brain. Vitamin B12 promotes energy production through supporting the body's natural processes of the adrenal glands, red blood cell formation, and many others. Taken from the Piper nigrum fruit, Black Pepper Fruit Extract has been used since antiquity as a form of traditional medicine, and was chosen by the chemists at InfoWars Life to give Brain Force PLUS an extra kick. It has taken over a year to develop and procure the all-new Brain Force PLUS formula, with the InfoWars Crew and the scientists behind InfoWars Life field testing hundreds of different options before choosing the undisputed winning formula that would go on to become Brain Force PLUS. Now is the time to secure your bottle and flip the switch for yourself. Supercharge your state of mind with Brain Force PLUS, and see for yourself why the InfoWars Crew is powered by this key formula."
"That's unbelievable!" intoned Tails. "But have these statements been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration?" Kramer starting sweating profusely. His knees started shaking and he started to laugh nervously. "Look, Brain Force PLUS is a MUST HAVE product if you don't want to become an unintelligent, efeminine soyboy in today's world!" "But does it really work?" asked Knuckles. Kramer whispered under his breath, "leave it to a bunch of shit-eating Arabs to ask all the negative questions." "Of course it works!" Jerry added. "I use it before every one of my shows!" "Yeah," added George, "it works for me too. Sure I may be short, pudgy, unattractive, and dull, but with Brain Force PLUS I still manage to get with attractive women! Larry David didn't just write that into the show for plot purposes, you know."
"Woah!" said Sonic with his wacky inflection. "That's mondo cool, sign me up dudes!"
Everyone decided to flip the switch with Brain Force PLUS with Sonic, and then they all got dressed for the funeral this afternoon. George gave everybody a 'Make America Great Again' hat to make them look more distinguished and reflect their newfound mental blast-processing.