Aw, my little pervs. How many private messages I received after last post about your sick fantasies... You lot know who you are... Man up and write them as reviews, lol.
I gently dabbed myself with a couple spots of cologne and ran my comb through my hair. How did I look? I was wearing dark jeans and a dark blue button down shirt. I looked good enough. We weren't going anywhere fancy tonight or anything.
"Hey," Phineas was sitting in front of the TV. He looked up at me. "You going somewhere? Wait," He said, before I could respond. "Date with Isabella, right?" I nodded. "Of course. Great. That's awesome! You know what else… I just had a great idea… why don't you go and hang out with Buford and Baljeet too? And continue to talk… about me!"
"I think you might be acting a little immature about this, Phineas." I said.
"Immature? I'm not immature! You're immature!"
He's an idiot. I rolled my eyes as I opened the apartment door, to face… Gretchen.
"Um, hi, Ferb." I waved.
"YOU'RE THE IMMATURE ONE, FERB… Oh, hi Gretchen." Phineas said awkwardly. "What are you doing here… outside our apartment?"
"Actually, I was waiting for Isabella." She said.
As if on cue, Isabella opened her door, and came out, wearing a pretty dress and all ready for date-night. "Hi guys."
"Hi Iz, you kind of called me over?" Gretchen said awkwardly. "Said it was necessary?"
"Oh, you thought I meant tonight? Oh no, Gretchen, no I can't! Ferb and I have a date!" She said coyly. "We've gotta go. But, maybe… I have an idea, you can stay here and hang out with Phineas!"
"Bella." I said, under my breath.
"Yeah!" She continued. "I mean, you're both free. Anyway, Ferb, let's go!" She grabbed my arm aggressively and dragged me away.
"Ha ha," She said under her breath, as she hit the elevator button. "They'll be shtupping in no time."
"What?" I exclaimed.
"It's Jewish… Yiddish… just, Ferb, they'll be together." She said.
"So the one girl on the planet you had to pick was my ex-girlfriend?" I questioned.
Gretchen and I had been another supposedly "perfect" couple. Everybody had thought Ferb and Gretchen would be so cute together, although that was probably because they thought, Isabella and Phineas are made for each other, so their best friends must be made for each other too. Gretchen and I liked each other. We had liked each other a lot. But there had never been any… spark. I know we were only in high school, but I most definitely felt a spark with Vanessa that I didn't feel with Gretchen. And, of course, Isabella outranked them all. The breakup had been completely clean and mutual. Still, it was weird picturing her with Phineas even though I was now with "his girl".
"I know." She made a face. "But you didn't want to help, and it is so hard trying to find someone for Phineas. He needs a girl who is sweet and down-to-Earth, and most importantly, grounded. She needs to be the one in touch with reality when his head is in the clouds; that's what will make her his other half. And I think Gretchen can be that girl."
I shrugged. "Alright, love, whatever you say. What sounds good for dinner?"
"I'm thinking… seafood." She said, as we stepped outside.
"Good choice." I nodded.
"That same place we went to last month?" She asked. "We've gotta go back, it's too good. And it's in walking distance. I love the city." She took my arm and sighed as we walked. "Oh, my baby. Did I say I love you yet today?"
"Maybe?"
"I love you." She purred.
"I love you too." I said gently.
We got a table for two and ordered our food. Even though this wasn't a fancy date night, there were still candles, wine, and the very last glimpses of an ending sunset we could see very clearly, since we had an outdoor table.
"This is great!" Isabella said happily. "I love date night."
"Well, like I promised you, my love," I said. "I will continue to take you out on 'fluffy-puffy-lovey-dovey-ooey-gooey' dates until we're old and grey."
She giggled. "Ferb! Oh, even after all these months, even after all these years… you're still so charming. And… if you counter that with another compliment, I'll have to kill you, or kiss you."
"Either sounds fine." I smiled.
"Mmm." She smiled. "Good to know."
"So, what has my darling been up to this week… besides her normal scheming?" I asked.
"Oh… Oh! Um, don't tell Baljeet this, but Ginger is really freaked out about Mishti coming. Like, really freaked out and upset. I told her a million times that she shouldn't be, but she's so worried." Isabella said. Well, that was ludicrous. Yes, we knew that Mishti was coming, and about Baljeet's close relationship with her, and had seen his fight with Ginger afterwards, but what the girls didn't know was what he had told us guys afterwards. Isabella clearly saw something in my eyes. "Tell me what you know!" She said. "It's something about Baljeet and/or Ginger and/or Mishti, isn't it?"
I winced a little. "It's private."
Isabella groaned. "Ferb, last year, you and I were literally doing the most intimate and secret thing two people could possibly do. And, you know what, even though they never told the group… Baljeet and Ginger totally talked about us to each other!"
"You're right." I said. She was right. Although, they had originally just been trying to kind of crack a mystery, they pretty much just talked about us, and then after they learned the secret, decided we were in love, and turned everybody against us, and Phineas too, when we started dating other people. "Well… Baljeet is going to tell Ginger he's in love with her." I said, taking a bite off my fork afterwards.
Isabella's face broke out into a huge smile. "Oh my gosh!"
"So there's really no need for Ginger to worry." I said. "But you can't tell Ginger! Or any of the girls!" I said quickly.
"No, no, I won't! Oh, yay!" She squealed. "I love it! I love them! I love love!"
I smiled. "Remember when we used to be a little more cynical?"
She sighed. "Years of heartbreak will do that to you. Oh, why, why didn't we end up together sooner?"
"Hmm, who do you want to give credit to in our relationship? Milly, for springing the idea? Monty, for really pissing me off that day? Vanessa and Phineas, for constantly breaking our hearts? Or…"
"Minka!" Isabella exclaimed. We both started laughing. "None of us have ever met her, still! What the hell? Meredith stopped by one day this summer, remember, she's cool." She shook her head. "If I hadn't seen Minka that one day, I would say she didn't exist!"
I laughed. "Phineas has a couple wedding pictures with them."
"Aww." She sighed. "So, again, a girl he's made a close connection to, Merry, is a lesbian. Dammit! There's always a catch!" I laughed. "Yeah, well, I guess I'm just going to have to name our daughter Minka then, since she brought us together."
Our daughter. Everyone, even us, had teased at this a million times. The jokes like "They're making babies." or "Just marry her already!" or even the constant "Mr. and Mrs. Perfect". Yes, I would marry Isabella. Yes, I would want her to be the mother of my children. And I think that was the scary part… I wanted it. Not now, not this second, but I still would like it. And, I think she would too. But, the thing is… we had thought these same things before. With Vanessa and Phineas.
"Let's hold up on that one." I laughed. "Minka Garcia-Shapiro-Fletcher?" We both started laughing.
"Yeah," She smiled. "I love date night. Do relationships always end up all… fluffy?"
"What do you mean?" I responded.
"Last year, our relationship was so… I would get so embarrassed, and irritated, and jealous, and irrational, and stressed, and angry with you all the time. And now… you're my baby."
"I think a big part of that was how we were keeping secrets from everyone, including each other. Yes, there was a lot of… sexual tension. But, if you're implying that the passion is gone, then I would strongly disagree." I smirked.
"Oh, Ferb!" She rolled her eyes. "No! I was just wondering… even if two people seem really bad for each other, could it still turn out nicely?"
"Um… maybe?" Are we an example for that? Except, Isabella is perfect for me and I her. I can't really think of an example I knew… "Um… Vanessa and Monty are getting married." Except she left him once already. "Why are you asking me this?"
"Ooohh…" She stalled for a few minutes, and then blurted it out. "ADYSON LIKES PHINEAS."
"What?" I exclaimed.
"It's true, she said it to me herself." Isabella said.
"It never ends with that one." I said, more to myself.
"So, if she likes him, and we're looking to match him up, I should set them up, right? Because, maybe it could work? Even though they have nothing in common, and she would totally bully him and it would be awful!" She exclaimed.
"Yeah." I said cautiously. "Except… do not do that."
"I know!" She squealed. "New rule! Adyson cannot end up with Phineas!"
Jesus, that sounded… awful. I can't think of anyone worse for Phineas than Adyson Sweetwater. That girl was out of her mind. Like, more than Isabella-Ginger stalker levels out of her mind. When she wasn't tripping over her own two feet and probably falling off a cliff or something of that nature, she was always either at the beck and call of some atrocious misfit, or recently dumped and hunting for her latest beau. There was a saying that opposites attract, and Adyson and Phineas were most certainly opposites. Adyson was always saying something cutting or sarcastic to mock everybody else, while Phineas was continuously positive and kind, even to our group of obnoxious twenty-somethings who probably don't even have optimism in their vocabulary anymore. But, I don't think that was the kind of opposite Phineas needed. I didn't want an emotional kick to the ribs from Adyson Sweetwater every day to be the thing keeping Phineas in touch with reality.
"Yeah, well, this isn't good, is it?" I stated.
It's safe to say that once Adyson Sweetwater likes someone, she will not back off until he flat out turns her down, is with someone else, or is with her. It won't just fade away. Most guys dump Adyson. Adyson never quite got around to asking me out, so I never had to say no, thank god, she's a little scary sometimes. Additionally, it was pretty well established that I was "Isabella's" by then, and Adyson would never want to hurt Isabella or her girlfriends. I don't think Adyson would try to take anyone from anybody, actually, despite it all. Well, I don't think Phineas would really have it in him to say no to Adyson, and with Isabella gone, there isn't exactly any girl staking a claim on him, so that leaves him as… Adyson's next boyfriend.
"NO!" Isabella exclaimed, as we grabbed our stuff and left. "We've got to go and check on Phineas and Gretchen."
"What if they're… what did you say?"
"Ferb!"
"Shtupping?"
"Ferb!" She exclaimed again, blushing.
"I know what I want to do with you when we get home." I said mischievously.
"Ferb!" She squealed. "You're such a bad boy! You pretend to be so sweet and innocent and gentle…"
"So do you!" I exclaimed.
"No, Ferb, everybody knows I'm a mess! Anyway," She flipped her hair. "You know you like it when Naughty Isabella comes out to play." She giggled seductively.
"And you know you like it…" I lowered my voice. "When Bad Ferb cares to join her."
"Ooohh no, boy, no you don't." We had finally reached the building. She stopped and turned to stare at me. "You're not getting into these panties. We're going to check on Phineas, we're not… we're not…" She whimpered weakly.
"Bella." I whispered.
"Ohhh… race ya!" She exclaimed, and we both made a mad dash to the elevator.
She pushed the button, but then I pushed her against the elevator wall. I felt the gentle pressure of her lips on mine.
"Ferb," I felt her hands sliding around on my back. "They… have… cameras… in… here…" She said, between kisses.
"It's ok." I murmured. "We won't be in here long." Nothing Phineas and I do ever seems to be caught on camera anyway.
The doors pinged open. "Hurry, hurry!" Isabella exclaimed. "A) We have to check on Phineas, and B) If we don't get to a bed quickly, Naughty Isabella will become Angry Isabella."
"Ok, ok!" She was basically dragging me.
"Phineas!" She knocked on the door loudly. "Phineas!"
"I can open it." I whispered.
"No! We can't just barge in on them!" She whispered. "Phineas!"
"Hey," He opened the door. "How was date night?"
"Lovely, as always." She walked in quickly. "Where's Gretchen?"
"Gretchen?" He responded. "She left hours ago. Literally right after you two."
"What? Why?" Exclaimed Isabella.
"Well, she had stuff to do." Phineas said.
"But, but… You two could've hung out…" I was hoping oblivious Phineas wouldn't realize what us leaving him alone with a girl implied we were doing.
He gave her a weird look. "Yeah… we could have. I guess. Maybe next time."
There was a really loud annoying buzzing coming from his phone. "What's that?" Isabella asked.
"Huh? Text messages." Phineas replied.
"From who?" She asked.
"Adyson."
"ADYSON!" Isabella cried. "Give me that!" She grabbed his phone. "TWENTY text messages from Adyson! Have you been answering them?"
"Not really. I answered once at some point, but I wasn't really on my phone all night, and they just kept building up." He shrugged. "I don't know, must be a girl thing, right? Candace loves texting. I bet Adyson missed you since you were out and had to text other people."
"Aaahh!" Isabella threw her hands up in frustration. "You," She pointed at Phineas. "Stop texting Adyson. You," She reached out and literally grabbed my collar. "My bedroom. NOW." I gave Phineas a look that said: if she kills me because of you… you will still suffer. And she pulled me out of there, leaving him scared of both of us.
"Stupid Adyson! Stupid Phineas!" A clearly frustrated Isabella stormed into her own apartment.
"Isabella…"
"She's ruining everything! She always does that!" Isabella exclaimed.
"Isabella, you can't force these kinds of things." I said gently. Isabella has always tried to force love and play matchmaker… but before she was just matching Phineas and herself, over and over and over.
"I'm not forcing anything, Ferb! I just want my best friend to be happy!" She snapped.
"I know. But at this particular point in time, it's more like you're just fighting with Adyson unnecessarily."
"Shut up Ferb! I didn't drag you in here to get lectured!"
"Then why did you drag me in here?" I asked.
"Why do you think?" She put her pink lips in a little pout. "Where's the bad boy at?"
I smiled. "And here I thought Sweetwater ruined the mood." I said, slipping off my shoes.
"Grr… she did! I can't believe her, she's so– "
I grabbed her forcefully and she gasped. "So…" I said playfully. "How bad do I need to be?
Our mouths were on each other, hot and heavy. She began undoing my shirt's buttons. The dress fabric was too thick and stiff for me to go over or under, to my exasperation, in addition to a high neckline and longer length.
"Please… don't… rip any more of my clothes." She panted. We both laughed a little at that. "Here." She turned around. "Zipper."
I pulled it down, but the dress still seemed stiff as she pulled it over her head. I took this time to quickly take off my shirt and jeans.
"Mmm, Ferb." She pushed me down onto her bed and I forced my tongue back into her mouth. She tastes like the red wine we had tonight. She ground hard against me, and the bed squeaked with it.
"Oh, I need a new bed!" Isabella cried.
"I don't know, I've become fond of this one." I whispered.
"Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck…" Isabella said. She undid her bra and tossed it to the side. "Baby, I am dying for you."
"Ok, ok…" I pulled my boxers off. Isabella seemed particularly impatient with everyone tonight. She had this really frustrated pout on her face, which was goddamn adorable. "You know, frowning will give you wrinkles."
"Ferb!"
Ok, what do they say? Don't poke the bear. She moaned as I got on top of her. I plunged deep into her and she moaned loudly. She wanted bad? This wasn't us sweetly making love to each other. This was white-hot fiery passion between Naughty Isabella and Bad Ferb. I found myself going as wildly as I could: crashing into her once, twice, three times, four times, five times. Isabella was running her long nails down my back, swearing and moaning loudly. And we definitely left more than one love bite on each other.
"Mmm… you're so good." She giggled. "I mean, you're so bad."
"Thanks." I responded.
"In case you didn't know… um… shtupping means fucking."
"I figured."