Finally time for a wedding ;)

It was time for a wedding. You know, I hadn't been to a real wedding in a long time. I tried to think about whose it was… maybe Stacy's? Jeez. You know, this meant that, officially, it was sort of becoming our generation's turn to get married. Yikes. Pres-sure. I'm an only child, I can only imagine how much my mother is going to nag me about getting married. As far as my dad… ideally, Daddy would never let me grow up at all. Unfortunately, I'm not Phineas.

I don't think the Flynn-Fletchers care at all when or if Phineas and Ferb get married. They're too cool. They probably could have lived in the backyard forever if they had really wanted to, and their parents (at least not their dad) wouldn't have minded.

I fluffed my hair in the mirror and smiled. I looked nice. I still can't believe I was going to Vanessa's wedding. So weird. If it wasn't for one little impulsive move by me, instead of having an all out party tonight, I probably would've been nursing a heartbroken (and maybe drunk) Ferb at home right now, while we both bitched about how our love lives sucked. Life is so strange… you never know what turns it'll take.

I knocked on the door to Phineas and Ferb's suite. "Hi boys." I smiled, as Ferb opened the door and kissed me gently. They looked just about ready.

"Do a favor for me, baby?" I turned around, and he zipped my dress up for me.

"So… I'm guessing Adyson was right and you two will be sharing a room tonight?" Phineas asked.

"Uh…"

"Most likely." Ferb replied.

"Shocking." Phineas said sarcastically.

"Are you ok?" I asked.

"I'm fine!" He declared, suddenly sounding irritated. "So you don't have to worry about me, Isabella! Or you, Ferb! And I'm never going to… I know I'm such a… GAH." He left us, clearly upset.

"What happened?" I asked.

"He heard the fight. All of it." Ferb said.

"Oh, oh no." I said. So in addition to thinking that his friends thought he was a third wheel, a loser who needed to get laid, and an oblivious idiot, he now also thought he was the biggest problem in Ferb's relationship. SHIT.

"Maybe he'll just… have fun tonight and forget it." I said. "We're fine, we're not fighting or anything."

"But I don't know if he ever knew he was a problem." Ferb said.

I hate love triangles. Fuck love triangles. Ferb, Vanessa, and Monty. Me, Ferb, and Vanessa. Ferb, me, and Phineas. And now… there were new ones! Gretchen, Phineas, and Adyson. Ew. If you want to go by that, then, Buford, Adyson, and Phineas, eventually. And… oh god… Ginger, Baljeet, and Mishti.

Speak of the angel… "Hi guys!" Mishti said sweetly. Mishti looked like a showstopper, as always. Like we said, if there was one person in this building who could match Vanessa, it was Mishti. Her dress was black and sleeveless and she was just too beautiful for words.

"Look how Mishti did my hair!" Wynne gushed. It was curled, and the red looked great against her black-and-white striped dress. "Iz, you look great. And Ferb…"

"I told you to stay away from my boyfriend!" I laughed.

"Come on." He smiled.

The wedding in the church was beautiful. Everything seemed to glimmer; sunset was a good time to be in a place with that many windows. And, of course, Vanessa was the most beautiful person in the room. Not even Mishti Patel could top her today.

I felt no resentment towards Vanessa today. I don't know if it was because she was getting married, or because she had helped me the other day, or just because the evil Vanessa just looked so beautiful and innocent in all white, staring at Monty with so much love in her eyes.

"With this ring, I thee wed and with it I give thee my love and devotion."

I sighed. I never really pictured myself getting married in a big dark church like this. I was Jewish. Still, it was beautiful. I flitted my eyes to Ferb. I promised him we would last. What did that mean? Did I promise myself to Ferb?

To marry Ferb Fletcher… huh. What would that be like really? You know, besides all the stuff we already did, blah, blah, kissing, dating, talking, sex, blah. We'd actually live together. I would go to England many times a year. I'd actually get to celebrate legit Christmas… with the Flynn-Fletchers and the Johnsons and everyone. I'd learn all Linda's secret recipes. Phineas and Candace would go from my "kind of" brother and sister to actual brother-in-law and sister-in-law. I'd be "Aunt Isabella" to the kids. Maybe even some kids of our own.

Am I crazy? I'm crazy. Ferb's right; our relationship isn't normal. We kind of have to follow some normal steps first. I can't just marry him first and decide later that maybe we should have waited a little longer.

The wedding reception was in the hall of the hotel, with a dance floor. There were only eight people to a table, so our group alone took up two, with assigned seats. Irritatingly enough, Vanessa seemed to have completely juggled our names at random, unlike the room assignments. Actually, Vanessa probably wasn't in-charge of every little detail. I still blame her for Ferb being at the other table though. Our table was Katie, Kyle, Django, Ginger, Irving, Gretchen and Wynne. I probably could've asked someone to switch with me, but apparently, name cards are the law. Also, the other table looked like they were having a blast. Milly and Holly were gabbing with Mishti, who was, of course, next to Baljeet. All four of the boys got to be together at that table, and stupid Adyson was playing 'Isabella', flirting with Buford and Phineas almost simultaneously. The only person who didn't look like he was having fun was Phineas. Ooof.

Ginger glanced sideways at Baljeet and Mishti, and very violently stabbed a piece of her steak. "Ginger," I asked. "Are you ok?"

"Yes." She said aggressively.

"Oh Ginger," I sighed. "You're normally such a sweet, in-control person. Relax. What is about Mishti that has driven you so crazy?"

"Isabella, she's PERFECT!" Ginger exclaimed. "We all know Mishti Patel is perfect! No matter what I do, I will never be her. I'll never be his first friend, maybe his first… love, I'll never be as beautiful as her, I'll never be…"

"Vanessa." I stated plainly.

I glanced over at the bride's table. Vanessa and Monty were smiling together, although, I have to say… in addition to looking really weird individually, the Doofenshmirtzes and the Monograms all looked like they personally hated each other, especially Monty and Vanessa's dads.

"That's always exactly how I felt… still how I feel about Vanessa." I said weakly. "You know that Ginger."

"Oh Iz." She smiled sadly.

"But look… it all worked out." I said. "Ferb is in love with me… and Baljeet is in love with you. You helped me last year… and I'll help you with this."

"Ginger… he's not going to DO anything… I think." Katie remarked.

"What are you guys talking about?" Irving asked perkily.

"Mishti. OW!" Katie cried, as I kicked her. Would she please learn to shut her big mouth?

"Isn't she hot?" Irving said excitedly.

"Ew." I said. "Go back to eating."

"Why are we friends with him again?" Gretchen whispered.

"Because Phineas is a nice person." I said. "Sooo… how are things with Phineas?"

"Isabella!" Gretchen laughed.

"You're supposed to end up with Phineas!" I declared.

"What!?" Katie and Ginger exclaimed.

"It's… an Isabella scheme." Gretchen rolled her eyes. "She's trying to find Phineas a girlfriend."

"I never thought I would ever hear those words." Ginger said.

"So you picked Gretchen, and not me?" Katie exclaimed.

My mouth dropped open. Wait, was EVERYONE in love with Phineas? Why didn't he have a goddamn girlfriend then? "You like Phineas?" I gasped.

She started laughing. "No. Got you good though."

"Katie!" I cried.

"We aren't ALLOWED to be in love with Phineas, Isabella. First, because of you, and now, because of Adyson. But mainly… because of Phineas." Gretchen said.

"Oh, come on guys…" I groaned.

"Hey, guys," Katie turned her attention to the main table. "Yes or no… do you think Phineas is actually ever going to fall for someone?"

Django scratched his head. "Didn't we bet he would?"

"That was with Isabella." Ginger said. "Idiot."

"Right. Sorry, you know I don't constantly hang out with you guys." He replied.

"What about you, Irving?" I asked.

"Phineas can get any girl." He said confidently.

"See!" I said.

"But, will he?" Katie asked.

"Nope." He said, just as confidently.

"SEE." Katie said.

"Hey, lovebirds," Gretchen asked Kyle and Wynne. "Do you think Phineas can fall in love? Discounting Isabella."

"I… don't think so." Wynne said. "I figured he probably loved Isabella. And he didn't. So obviously, I don't know what the heck I'm talking about."

"I figured he was probably a machine who killed the real Phineas before he hit puberty. You know, what did Red tell me he called them once… phinedroids." Kyle joked.

"Be serious, guys… none of you guys think Phineas can find love?" I whined.

"I hope he can." Ginger said. "But… he's better off without it. Let him stay in his oblivious world, Isabella. Because once he comes out of it… he'll turn into that." She pointed at Baljeet, whose arm was around Mishti's shoulders.

At that point, the music started and finally, everyone could get up and dance. Vanessa had strongly declined a solo first dance with both her father and husband… probably due to a high probability of something going tragically/hilariously wrong. So, I could finally go to Ferb.

"You all look like you were having a lot of fun." I said.

"Would rather have been with you." He said.

"Me too." Can't tell him I was thinking about marrying him. Can't tell him we were talking about Phineas again either.

"Mmm… come on Phinny. Let's dance." Adyson said seductively, pulling him with her.

"Ok?"

Oh god. I rolled my eyes. This was not going anywhere. Adyson had honestly flirted her way into a lot of guys', um, let's go with "heart". Of course, Phineas wasn't remotely interested. When was she just going to pick Buford? I mean hello? Why does she like Phineas!? What does she think is going to happen? How could she get Phineas Flynn to fall for her, much less become her, urgh… just no! I really don't even want to imagine Phineas and Adyson sleeping together. EW. I mean, he does need a girlfriend badly but… anyway, we had other issues.

"Would you like to dance with me, Baljeet?" Mishti asked sweetly.

He pulled at his collar. "Sure."

The wedding was way too much fun, honestly, especially to be Vanessa's. When the fast songs came on, everyone was singing along. Sometimes a circle formed and people would take turns showing off their best (or worst!) moves in the middle. With the slow songs, I would mostly dance with Ferb, but we switched around. I danced with Kyle, Buford, Baljeet; even Monty once! You couldn't stay on the dance floor forever though; luscious dessert came out, and there was a huge open bar. The bar was so great that… it was TOO great. After a while, the dance floor started to get a little more… loopy. Irving started hardcore rapping the songs, Vanessa's maid-of-honor was grinding on Monty's dad's assistant, and some kind of lasers started shooting off from the ceiling, with Vanessa's dad calling "MY BAD." Good thing this thing was adults only.

"Whoop-de-doop." Adyson came over to me and Ferb, giggling. "Hi guys!"

She was drunk. Every day, I have to contemplate a little more why Adyson Sweetwater was my best friend. Though she had grown out of it a little, Adyson was the biggest party girl in college. I was not. At all. I was a good girl. I had always been a very good girl. Sweet little Isabella. That was my reputation and I had desperately tried to keep it. Until I decided to, umm, you know, the friends-with-benefits thing. And Ferb… I don't know WHERE he learned what he knows and I don't wanna know. Let me just say, I'm glad.

"Ferb, you still owe me that birthday dance." Adyson made kissy lips at him.

"WHOA." I said. "Let's not get crazy, babe. I think you should go to bed."

"Yeah… If you two are here… Phineas will have room, won't he?" She giggled. Ferb raised his eyebrows.

"Addy, go to sleep." I sighed.

"Nooo!" She whined. "How come Ginger doesn't have to go?"

"Ginger?" I asked incredulously. "Where is Ginger?"

"At the bar." She tipped a little.

"Oh god." I said. "Ferb!" He followed, like always. I'm pretty sure Ferb was more worried about me than the rest of the gang.

"Hit me again." Ginger was lying across the bar counter, her hand clasping a cold glass.

"Ginger?" I asked, concerned.

"Hey Isabella." She didn't sound too wasted. But Ginger wasn't a super lightweight like me and most of the girls. "Whatcha' doin'?" She said sadly.

"What are you doing?" I questioned.

"I'm having fun. The only way I know how. How else can I watch my boyfriend slow-dance with his one true love?" She whimpered.

"Ginger…" I said gently. Ferb patted her head.

"His mom doesn't like me. She thinks my family is stuck-up. Mrs. Patel is her best friend." She said drunkenly. "Do you know Baljeet and I ONLY do it missionary? That's it!" Ok, this might be getting a little uncomfortable. "I'm pretty. I have guy friends. Why didn't Milly ever tell me to do the fuck buddy thing, huh? HUH?"

"Oh my god, Ferb…" I whispered.

"Hey Ferb! Would you have had sex with me?" Ginger asked loudly.

"This isn't good." He whispered back.

"Answer!" She said angrily. "Come on! You would've, right? I can get more than Baljinder." She slurred all together.

At that point, we heard loud squealing like a little girl being punished.

"Come on Addy." Gretchen passed by us, dragging her by the arm.

"Noooo!" She squealed.

"You're gonna make a scene." Gretchen declared.

"Are you taking her upstairs?" I asked.

"Heck yeah I am." Gretchen declared. "As if we couldn't look more like idiots in front of Vanessa and her friends."

"Ginger," I poked her. "Do you want to go upstairs with Gretchen?"

"Yeah." She nodded sadly. She looked like she was going to start crying. "Let's go."

"Dammit, Ferb." I turned to him. "I have to go yell at someone. Where is Baljeet?" He gestured towards one of the tables. Buford, Baljeet, Kyle, Wynne, and Mishti were all sitting there and eating wedding cake.

"Ok, so you're telling me his last name was actually Adjacent? That's bullshit!" Kyle laughed.

"Don't make me punch you."

"Don't tell me you guys are drunk too." I said wearily.

"Maybe a little bit." Wynne said, shrugging. "We have had a lot of champagne by now."

"Can you even get drunk off of champagne?" Kyle said skeptically.

Mishti giggled. "Yes! I'm having a lot of fun, Mr. Fletcher. Thank you for inviting me." She said sweetly.

"Ok," I crossed my arms. "Baljeet and Buford, how could you let your girlfriends get drunk like that?"

"Wait, I have a girlfriend?" Buford asked.

"What do you mean?" Baljeet asked.

"Party has been getting SUPER drunk." Kyle said.

"Come on!" I declared. "Baljeet, you need to – " I stopped talking. We all stopped talking. Because suddenly we heard loud drunken shouting.

"BEST… DAY… EVER…!"

That voice was too familiar. "Is that… Phineas?" Baljeet asked incredulously.

"You don't think…" I glanced at Ferb.

"Oh shoot." Buford said.

We all ran towards the noise. Standing there, was indeed… no, this wasn't Phineas. This guy was totally wasted. His eyes were glanced over and he had a dizzy smile on his face. He was basically that drunk guy you really want to avoid at a party. I had never seen Phineas drunk before. I had never even seen Phineas drink before.

"Whoo! Alright!" Phineas took a few wobbly steps back. Ferb's eyes got big and he caught him as he almost fell. The wine glass he had been holding, however, fell and cracked on the ground, spilling out champagne.

"Phineas, you're drunk!" I exclaimed.

"No… no I'm not." He slurred.

"Oh my god!" I would have expected Buford to be laughing at this, but he looked just as horrified as we did.

"Back… back to the open bar!" Phineas slurred, smiling. If this was a cartoon, I would be able to see the bubbles coming from him.

"Phineas, you need to go to bed!" Baljeet declared.

"Shushhhhh… no, no I don't." He said, wobbling.

"Phineas!" I exclaimed. "Why did you do this? Why did you drink so much? What is wrong with you? You're being so…"

"Shut up, Isabella, do you ever shut up?" He muttered.

"Phineas, stop." Ferb said seriously. "I won't let you ruin Vanessa's wedding."

"Oh… huh… um, have you guys seen my glass?"

"Phineas, listen to us…" I said slowly, "We're just looking out for you, we're your best friends."

"No you're not!" He said, his tone rising. "You… you think I'm a… 'third wheel', and they, they all think I'm a loser and I need to…" He rubbed his hands together.

Buford smacked his hand to his forehead. "Christ, he can't even get the hand gesture for sex right."

"Right? Right? No one tells me anything! And I tell you guys everything! And when I do, you just… laugh. Ha ha ha. 'He needs to get laid.'" He drunkenly laughed. "Ha ha ha! Obell… Ob-liv… 'Oblivious Phineas', that's what you all call me, isn't it! You're not my friends! You think I'm an idiot!"

We all stared at him, totally taken aback. This was what Phineas thought? Underneath his sweet positivity, this is what he thought about us?

"Phineas, listen to me, we never meant to…" I whimpered.

"Carpe diem… CARPE DIEM!" Phineas started singing loudly and out of tune.

"What in the…" Candace came storming up to us, Jeremy close behind. "Oh my god."

"Hey Candace!" Phineas bleated.

"What…"

"We don't know." Buford replied. "We don't know how, or why, or when either. All we know is he got himself ridiculously drunk!"

"I knew it!" I whimpered.

"What?" Ferb replied.

"He's upset we've all started pairing up and he's all alone." I whispered. Oh, I knew it. Ginger and Baljeet, me and Ferb, even Buford and Adyson. He couldn't even compare and be in the same boat as Vanessa after the break-ups because here she was as the blushing bride!

"Phineas, stop it right now!" Candace exclaimed. "Jeremy and I are taking you to bed!" Her motherly instincts were kicking in.

"No, Candace, we were…" I began.

"It's fine, Isabella." Jeremy said kindly. "You and the gang go have fun."

"How are we supposed to have fun?" I said, pacing around the dance floor. The dim lights now seemed eerie in some way.

"That was… disturbing." Buford said. "Phineas got himself drunk. Whoa."

He's sinking. We've got to pull him out of this.

"Maybe we should go to bed too." Baljeet said. "It is pretty late." We all walked back to the elevators and got out on our floor in silence.

"Ok, come on." Buford said to Baljeet. "'Night."

"Goodnight, guys." I said wearily. I never even told him about Ginger.

"Ohmygod Ferb, ohmygod." I said weakly. "You saw them… Ginger… and Phineas!"

Ferb growled. "Goddamn it, Phineas." He said angrily, opening the door to my suite.

"What was wrong with him?" I asked, just as bothered.

"I'll tell you what was wrong with him, the same thing that's always wrong with him! He has no clue how the real world works! For him, it's either all maths and figures or all dreams and fantasies! There's no in-between! I bet you a million dollars he didn't even know he would get drunk! Stupid moron!"

"I mean," I paced around. "I'm right! I have to be right! Why else would he have done it? He yelled at us, Ferb! He doesn't like being the third wheel. He doesn't like everyone making fun of him for being oblivious. He's only just realized it."

"Yeah… because of how oblivious he is! We're not his fucking parents, Isabella. And we've been acting like we are for way too long."

"Uggh," I collapsed back onto the bed. "Stupid Phineas!" I sat up. "You know I'm right, Ferb, you have to know now. He needs a girlfriend. He needs… gravity… in his life."

"I didn't get to tell you," He said weakly. "You look so beautiful tonight."

I smiled. "Oh, baby. And you…" I sat up. "Always look sooo sexy in a tux." He closed his eyes and smiled. "Mmm, do you want to have a little fun now?"

"Don't I always?" He responded. I giggled as he sat down next to me and pulled me into his arms. "I watched Vanessa Doofenshmirtz get married today. And I couldn't be more happy for her." He said it as though it had just hit him. It was done. No more Ferb and Vanessa. Ever. Wow. He had loved her for forever. And it was officially over.

"Yay." I said softly. Ok, no more Phineas and Vanessa, please! I crashed my lips into his. Mmm, I was home. He cradled my head and back.

"Ok," I kissed his cheek. "Now we have to deal with getting tuxedos and fancy dresses off." I whispered.

"Curses." He joked.

"Unzip me." I said, standing up.

He left an openmouthed kiss on my back. I sighed. "I was thinking about this when I was zipping you in."

"Me too. Ferb, do we like, have a problem? Because this is all I ever want to do."

"Yes, we do. It's called 'being in love'."

I stepped out of the dress. "Fuck. Were you saving that line?"

He shrugged. "You were setting it up for me."

"Aah!" I squealed, laughing. I rushed at him. "You little…"

"No, no, no…"

I flipped my hair. "Ok, fine." I crossed my arms. "You have more accessories than me, Mr. 'Cummerbund and Cufflinks'."

"Ok, ok." He started undoing his bowtie and taking everything off. "Are you just going to pose there, like a supermodel?"

"Huh?" I realized, I wasn't wearing my dress, but I still had my jewelry, makeup, shoes, and hair done, so I basically looked like I was modeling for a lingerie shoot. "No…"

"No, you look pretty." He said, leaning back and looking at me affectionately.

I rolled my eyes, but smiled. "Ferb… I…" I started giggling. "You're the only one who's ever going to see me like this, anyway."

"Are you sure about that?" He joked.

"Yes." I replied. "Mmm…" I slowly took off my earrings. "You, Ferb Fletcher, are the only person, who's allowed to see anything… and everything."

"Bella." He mumbled. I fell on top of him, into a kiss.

"Take your clothes off." I grumbled. I fumbled with his shirt buttons, and somehow he was taking off his pants at the same time.

"You're still wearing the shoes." Ferb said.

"Christ." I sat up to unbuckle them, and Ferb sneakily undid my bra. "Mmm," I felt his lips on my neck. "I really need you."

His hands danced on my chest and he laid me back on the bed. He took off his boxers and pulled my panties down. "You still look pretty." He smiled.

"Shut up." I replied.

He went into me and I moaned. We're so in-sync, it never takes any time to get into a pattern now. My hips went up and down. "Ferb!" I declared desperately. I don't think it took very long before I was crying his name out very very loudly, over and over, with every thrust. He always hit just the right spot. I was in heaven. His mouth traveled to my neck and I dug my nails into his shoulders. I moaned loudly.

"Ohhhh… Fuck… FERB… harder… don't stop… baby… Ferrrrb…" I gasped. I felt his warm breath on me and I just couldn't last. I screamed out, and the bed shook a little.

I pulled one leg up and Ferb stayed on top of me, kissing every part of my face.

"Oh," I moaned. "Ferb…"

"That was…"

"Yeah." I replied. "Oh, this love addiction is getting worse."

He laughed and kissed me.

LOL, if you didn't see that coming, you obviously haven't read Catch 21. You all know how I've been asking for a Drunk Phineas... and I totally flipped it from everyone else's, ha! There must be something fishy in my alcohol... cute little Isabella turns into a wild party girl, quiet little Ferb turns into a nutty goofball, and sweet little Phineas turns into a bitter asshole! HA HA HA!

I'll leave future speculations up to you...