Lisanna couldn't get enough air in her lungs. Her breaths were shallow and her skin felt cold with terror.
"I'll scream," she whispered.
The blonde man grinned; his teeth seemed unnaturally white even in the darkness. "I hope so."
"Jackal," a voice called from somewhere behind her. "Leave it alone." Lisanna inched backward. Jackal's smile faltered.
"Just having a little fun," he whispered in the same deadly tone as before. Lisanna didn't think a man like Jackal ever had to do anything but whisper to get his point across.
"She's off limits."
Lisanna chanced a glance behind her. In the darkness she saw the cherry of a cigarette flare. Strands of black hair hung over dead, black eyes.
"Who says?"
Lisanna jumped when strange fingers touched her hair. "Stop," she breathed pathetically. "Please."
"I fucking said." Zeref's voice took on an edge that sent a shiver of fear down Lisanna's spine. Not the same fear as before – this was new. Different. Zeref's fist collided with Jackal's shoulder and he finally backed away just enough for Lisanna to step around him.
"Uh,"
"Get home," Zeref interrupted. His voice filled her ears like something thick and suffocating. Lisanna took off at a bolt and thought maybe she heard laughter behind her but had absolutely no intention of looking back over her shoulder.
She took the corner around the old chain link fence that surrounded the park and passed by a wall of backyard wood planked fences before she slowed to catch her breath. Lisanna's hand closed around the pole of the stop sign. The metal was cold but she needed to breath and calm her painful heart rate. Lisanna sucked in lungfuls of chilled air and tried to will herself calm.
The sound of a police siren whooping once made her jump. Lisanna whirled around and was blinded by a flash of red and blue lights. The cruiser rolled up to the curb and when the window slid down Lisanna thought she recognized the man inside but wasn't quite sure where to place his face.
"Ah, the youngest Miss Strauss," he said with a smile. There wasn't anything inherently frightening about his smile but Lisanna didn't care for it. "It's awful late for a little girl to be wandering around that park."
"I'm just on my way home," she said in her strongest voice.
"Let me give you a ride, then. I wouldn't be able to look myself in the mirror if something happened to you."
Lisanna bit her lip and her eyes fell to his name badge. Dreyar. Oh. Of course. This would be Laxus's father. Lisanna wasn't exactly friends with her sister's boyfriend but she did know Laxus and his father weren't close.
"If you're scared of your sister's reaction to you showing up in the back of a police cruiser, I'll let you ride up front with me. Deal?" His smile was smarmy. Nothing at all like Laxus's savage grins – the ones that turned Mirajane's cheeks a bright pink.
"Alright," Lisanna finally said softly. She wasn't sure which was worse, showing up alone or in the front seat of Laxus's deadbeat father's police cruiser. Mirajane would be furious either way.
She slid into the passenger seat and the leather was cold against her thighs. Her leggings had been left on the floor of Natsu's bedroom in a heap of shame. Inside the cruiser was an entire array of technology Lisanna was unfamiliar with.
"Buckle up," Officer Dreyar said with a smirk. "I know it's only a couple of blocks but humor me."
"Sorry," Lisanna whispered. She clicked the belt into place and focused on the night beyond her window. What a day. What a terrible day.
Officer Dreyar said nothing. Lisanna glanced over at him briefly and the glow of the cruiser's instruments shone on his clean-shaven face. When he pulled up to the curb in front of her house, he turned to her.
"Well, here we are, Miss Strauss."
"Thanks for the ride," she mumbled.
"You're most welcome, though, I really hope I won't see you in this capacity again. It's not safe for a girl your age out there at night."
"I'm fourteen," she offered weakly.
"Those thugs won't care. This town has seen enough violence, don't you think?"
"Yeah." Her throat tightened and her eyes stung. The adrenaline of the day was finally waning and reality stormed her gates. "Thanks again."
"Have a good night, Miss Strauss."
Lisanna didn't look at him again. She opened the door and stepped onto the curb. Officer Dreyar flashed his lights once before pulling away and continuing whatever patrol she'd distracted him from. The red and blue light lit up the front of the house and Lisanna sighed when Mirajane's silhouette came into view.
The grass whispered against her boots. She didn't know why she avoided the walkway but she did. When she reached the bottom step, she looked up to find Mirajane's outrage etched into her features. For a long moment her sister said nothing. Already dressed in her work uniform, Mirajane finally bent down to grab her bag and shouldered past Lisanna. She crossed the yard at a clipped pace. Somehow her silence hurt more than a tongue-lashing.
"Aren't you going to say anything?" Lisanna called after her. Mirajane spun back around and her eyes were hard.
"No. I have nothing to say to my little sister who doesn't give a shit about being raped and murdered in the park where our parents were killed."
"Mira –"
"I'm late to work thanks to you." Mirajane paused and her grip on her bag tightened. "And stay the fuck out of my room."
"Sorry," Lisanna whispered. She watched Mirajane throw her bag into the front seat of their family car. The door slammed as loud as only the solid metal of a car that old could. Mirajane pulled out of the driveway and the yard fell dark again.
Lisanna exhaled heavily. She turned back to the house. Her phone started vibrating again and she ignored it. The air grew colder and wind ruffled the leaves of the tree that had always been her mother's favorite.
Just as Lisanna's thoughts began to slide into something melancholy, a pair of headlights blinded her for the second time that night. These were set higher up than Officer Dreyar's cruiser or Mirajane's old boat. When the lights turned off, Lisanna recognized the truck immediately.
Jellal slid his keys into his pocket made his way across the yard. Lisanna tried to compose herself. Of all the people she didn't want to humiliate herself in front of, Jellal was at the top of the list.
"Hey," she managed. When he stepped into the dim pool of light from the bulb on the porch, Lisanna could see he looked about as rough as she felt.
"I'm sorry for dropping by like this." His eyes bounced around before they settled on her. He grimaced. "It's pretty late."
"Just a little," Lisanna said with an unintended laugh. She patted the spot beside her on the step. "Join my sad club of people who lose track of time?"
Jellal cleared his throat and sat beside her. She felt his gaze and said nothing.
"I… are you okay?"
"I'm great!" she blurted.
"Are you sure? Because –"
"Let's see," Lisanna cut him off in a voice that she didn't entirely recognize. "I kissed my best friend yesterday and today he acted like he didn't know me so I thought I could fix it by seducing him."
Jellal's mouth fell open but he quickly snapped it shut.
"That went fantastic, by the way! He totally didn't turn me down and send me home." Lisanna felt something inside of her snap. "I know Lucy is your cousin and I don't hate her or blame her," she went on, tears sliding down her face. "She's gorgeous so of course Natsu likes her more than me. It's fine."
"Lucy?"
"She's so perfect with her blonde hair and boobs," Lisanna sobbed. She felt Jellal cringe beside her. "I'm sorry, I know she's your cousin. Did I make it awkward?"
"Uh, no. Lisanna, look, you're great. If Natsu doesn't appreciate that, then it's his problem."
"You think I'm great?" The question slipped out and Lisanna wasn't in the right headspace to stop it.
"Well, sure! You're smart and nice and pretty –" Lisanna burst into a torrent of uncontrollable tears.
"Mirajane hates me."
"I'm sure that's not true." Jellal awkwardly draped his arm over her shoulders. He was warm and inviting and Lisanna allowed herself to melt into his side. His jacket smelled divine. "She's your big sister and cares about you."
"Everybody says that," she whispered, sniffling.
"Because it's true. Listen, I promise none of this is because you're undesirable. Natsu is a meathead."
Lisanna gazed up at him and he smiled. His dimples were the most genuine thing she'd seen all day. If a boy like Jellal promised her she was smart, nice, and pretty – on a truly unthinkable impulse Lisanna touched his cheek and pressed her lips against his. Time seemed to freeze. Jellal didn't move for what felt like an eon. Finally, he pulled back and blinked in what she realized was utter shock.
"I'm so sorry," Lisanna gasped, covering her mouth with her hand. Tears fell from her eyes in a way she'd have classified as ugly if she'd seen it on television. "I don't know what I was thinking."
"It's fine!" Jellal exclaimed.
"I didn't mean it," she whispered in horror. "I know you're with Erza." Her face burned. "I'm so sorry."
Lisanna couldn't stop her tears. Her entire body shook with sobs. On yet another impulse she reached inside of her shirt and pulled out a wad of tissue from her bra – Mirajane's lingerie hadn't quite fit as well as she'd have liked. She ignored Jellal's surprised horror at the sight of her dabbing at her face with boob tissues.
"Do you hate me?" she said with a sniffle. "I'd understand if you didn't want to study with me anymore."
Jellal sighed and squeezed her shoulder. "I don't hate you. This is obviously a bad day for you. It's me who should apologize for intruding."
"It's fine," Lisanna said, trying desperately to collect herself.
"I actually came over here to apologize for blowing you off earlier today. I'm not…" He trailed off and ran a hand through his messy hair. "Ah, I haven't been at my best lately."
"Are you okay?"
"It's complicated." He grinned again. "I don't have as much control over certain things as I'd like and sometimes…"
"You drop a few balls?" She offered hopefully.
"Yeah. Something like that. I should've just waited for you to text me back. Sorry. I guess we're both impulsive tonight."
"Well, it's been a day, I guess."
"Yeah, it has. You tried to seduce Natsu and I nearly got into a fight in the library."
Lisanna's mouth fell open. "What?"
"It'll be fine." His grin turned sad. "I'm lucky to have someone looking out for me. Even though I haven't been very nice to her lately."
"Life sucks."
"Sometimes, yeah, it really does." Jellal squeezed her shoulder one last time before standing. "I should go."
"I need to return Mirajane's lingerie and go to bed." Lisanna laughed for the first time that day. "I guess you didn't need that detail, huh?"
"Nope." His smile was beautiful because he meant it. "I can come over tomorrow and we'll work on some stuff. Is that okay?"
"Yeah. Mirajane doesn't work so she'll be around. A rare Saturday off, I guess."
Jellal dug his keys from his pocket. "I'll be by noonish, then. Text me if you need a different time."
"I will," Lisanna said, standing. He waved and when he'd returned to his truck, her shoulders slumped. All she wanted was to sleep off the humiliation of the day.
Mirajane was scowling at her phone again. Lisanna shifted in her seat and tried to pay attention to Jellal's explanation of the biology lesson she had to turn in on Monday. She cleared her throat and found Jellal's mouth to be twisted downward in the same way as her sister's.
"Is there something wrong?" Lisanna asked quietly.
"Uh –" Jellal sifted through his mess of papers that took up the entire kitchen table and glanced repeatedly at the screen of his laptop. "Sorry, I'm not, uh –"
"Asshole," Mirajane muttered. She let her phone fall to the countertop with a loud clatter. Jellal startled. "Sorry. Laxus is being a dick."
"Right." Jellal got lost in his papers almost immediately and Lisanna sighed. He glanced up at her with an apologetic expression. "I'm sorry. I think I may have forgotten some things at home."
"Do you need to go?"
"No, no. I can email them to you later. I just –" He scowled again in obvious frustration with himself. Mirajane left her phone vibrating on the counter and disappeared around the corner. Her footsteps on the stairs were loud. Lisanna felt antsy.
"Hey," she slapped her hand on top of Jellal's papers. "You wanna talk about whatever's got you so rattled? This unfocused behavior isn't like you."
Jellal sighed and tucked his pencil behind one ear. "I'm sorry. You're right. I'm unfocused."
"Why?" Lisanna hadn't known Jellal personally for very long but she'd learned that the best way to communicate with him was with bluntness.
"Executive dysfunction," he muttered bitterly.
"What's that? I know I've heard that term before but I don't know what it means."
"It's like…" Jellal trailed off and plucked the pencil from behind his ear. He focused his eyes on the way his fingers twirled the pencil between them like Mirajane used to twirl a baton when she was a little girl. "Imagine knowing you need to do something, or handle something in a certain way, but you just… can't."
Lisanna quirked an eyebrow.
"Like right now. I know what I'm doing. I understand the lesson and what you need to know to complete it but my head is… well, it's –"
"Full of spider webs and you can't move?"
"Yeah," he admitted with a grimace. "This morning I stared at my ceiling for a full hour panicking about everything I needed to do today but I couldn't get up. It's like being trapped in my own head."
He began another attempt to organize his notes but sighed and returned the pencil to his ear.
"I'm sorry."
"It's okay. Just another day in the life of having an ADHD brain."
"Do you take anything for it?" Lisanna asked without thinking. "I'm sorry," she blurted. "That's not my business."
"It's fine. I have meds but –" He cut himself off in the abrupt way she was becoming used to. "There's a problem and I can't fix it myself."
"We don't have to study today, Jellal," she whispered. "I can figure it out on my own, I think. I have the basics."
"You do. I'm sorry I'm not helpful. This whole thing with Erza is starting to fuck with my head." Jellal cringed and she thought his face flushed. "Sorry, I'm sure you don't care about that."
"You can talk about it if you think it'll help!" She laughed awkwardly. "You were very kind in listening to me last night. I don't mind listening to you."
Jellal sighed and ran his hand through his hair again. He had a system of motor tics she was beginning to recognize.
"We fought about something really stupid and I reacted badly." He glanced up at her. "Like really, really badly. I want to fix it but… I… can't."
"Executive dysfunction?" She offered softly.
"Yeah. I think about it all the fucking time. I have this whole speech in my head but when I say it out loud, I fuck it all up. I need to sort out this mess with my meds first." Jellal nodded to himself. He seemed to be growing more and more anxious. "I can't talk to Erza when I'm still cracked in the head."
"You don't think she'll listen?"
"She will," he murmured. "But after the way I've been acting, I think I owe her more than… well, this."
"I wish I could help."
"You listened to me ramble about it and that's pretty helpful." He smiled at her and Lisanna couldn't help the way she smiled back. "I should get home and try to find my missing pieces."
"If I have questions can I text you?"
Jellal stood and shoved his mess of notes and his laptop back into his bag. "Yeah, you definitely can. I'll email you those other notes, too. I'm so sorry I was such a useless asshole today."
"It's cool. I'm probably going to spend the rest of my day in bed watching trashy anime."
"Comics and anime?" He grinned at her and the dimples that always left her blushing made an appearance. "You really are a nerd."
"Don't tell anyone I watch anime," Lisanna said with a groan, leading him through the living room to the front door. "I don't need that kind of shame at a new school."
"Your secret's safe with me."
She followed him out onto the porch and smiled. "I'll see you on Monday morning in the library?"
"Absolutely. I'll look everything over. You'll be fine." He laughed. "I'm pretty sure you could be tutoring me by this time next year."
"I'll make you call me Miss Strauss." Lisanna thought maybe she enjoyed making him laugh. His shoulders were less tense.
"Thanks for letting me vent."
"Thanks for letting me make a fool out of myself last night. You probably think I'm a total basketcase."
"Well, the tissues in your shirt were something new to me but I'm not judging you."
Lisanna smiled and decided he needed a hug. She wrapped her arms around him and didn't let go until she felt him relax.
"You're a good person, Jellal. Even with a cracked brain," she whispered. "Tell Erza all that stuff you told me and it'll be fine."
"Maybe." He sighed and Lisanna stepped back. Jellal dug his keys from his pocket. The sound of an engine revving in the street startled them both and Jellal nearly dropped his keys.
"Wow, rude," Lisanna muttered. She didn't recognize the car but Jellal's clenched jaw implied he absolutely did.
"I'll email you later," he said quietly. Without another word Jellal left her alone on the porch.
Lisanna watched him go before returning inside. Mirajane was back in the kitchen frantically tapping on her phone.
"Why did you change clothes?" Lisanna asked, gathering her workbook from the table. Mirajane glanced up at her with naked panic painted all over her face.
"It's nothing," she said quickly. "I'm going to see Laxus."
"But –"
Mirajane fled the kitchen. Lisanna followed her to the living room just in time to watch the front door bang against the wall.