Edited 4/9/2021

Disclaimer: I do not own Digimon or the song "Miracle" by Paramore.

TW: Abuse

"I don't want to run from

Anything uncomfortable

I just want, no

I just need this pain to end right here"

The bar they were playing at that night wasn't the greatest place.

The floors were sticky underneath my feet from drinks spilled long ago, and the walls were covered with old band posters from over the years. The bar was in the front, to the left of the entrance, and the stage lined the back of the room.

Apparently, it was the bar where they played their first show in the city years ago, and they wanted it to be where they played their last. Well, their last before the tour. It wasn't that big of a place so tickets were limited and they ended up selling out. People were starting to crowd into the bar when Trevor came to get, Sora, and me. We headed into the back to be with Matt and the others before the show. There was a hallway next to the stage, we passed an alcove with two bathrooms before rounding a corner into their makeshift, 'VIP,' space. It was a small room, with two couches facing each other, and a coffee table in the middle.

Matt was on a stool in the corner tuning his guitar while everyone else relaxed on the couches. I took a seat next to Kari, who was fidgeting with the hem of her shorts. Sora had taken Kari shopping earlier for an outfit. She had her in high-waisted faded denim cut-off shorts that went a little above her mid-thigh, A tight, black, long sleeve, V-neck, and combat boots.

"You trying to make those shorter?" I was trying to joke around but she jolted a little when I addressed her. "You ok?" I asked.

"Sorry, just a little nervous," she sheepishly replied.

"You got nothin' to worry about Kar," John said grasping her shoulders from behind, "Everyone is gonna love you!"

She smiled, but still seemed uneasy. I was about to speak up again but there was a knock on the door.

"You guys ready?!" A big meathead type shouted as he opened the door. He gave everyone a big smile. "It's probably our biggest crowd of the year so get ready to put on a good one for them," He finished before heading back out.

Kari, Sora, and I made our way back out to the bar, Kari would be hanging with us until she went up later in the set. As we headed to grab some drinks, we had to push our way through the crowd that had crammed into the small space. Everyone in the bar started to cheer, and we turned to see them making their way onto the stage. People cleared out of the bar area to get a better view and we were finally able to grab drinks.

I handed Sora a twenty, "Can you get me a beer and whatever you girls want."

"Sure, thanks TK," She replied, before waving to grab the bartender's attention.

I turned to watch the guys play but stopped when I saw Kari nervously scanning the bar. I leaned down so she could hear me over the band, "Are you sure you are ok? You seem on edge," I said.

She stopped scanning and looked up at me, "I just have a weird feeling about tonight," she said honestly.

Sora walked back over with the drinks before I could pry any further. Kari took her short glass of once again, straight, freaking, whiskey, and took a large drink. We made our way a bit closer to the stage, and Kari edged directly in front of me, while Sora stayed to my side. Everyone erupted into cheers as the song ended. I was happy for Matt, he told me earlier that he was a little nervous about debuting their new music, but the crowd was loving it.

It was going to be a good night.

I tried not to look around too much during the show, and I felt better with TK standing behind me. His presence was comforting. My chest had felt tight since this morning, and I was trying to calm my nerves before I would be going in front of this crowd.

Sora came back with the second round of drinks, and I was starting to get that warm feeling that would relax me, just enough, to get through the show. Another song ended and I knew my time was about to come. Matt raised his hands to calm the crowd and nodded in my direction. I started to walk away but TK grabbed my hand. I turned around, he gave it a gentle squeeze and mouthed, "Good luck." Sora yelled, "Break a leg," I gave my best smile to them both before I turned to take the stage.

"Alright everyone I would like you all to give it up for our guest tonight, and one of my oldest friends, Kari Kamiya! She's gonna help us out with the cover set tonight," Matt gestured to me as I made my way onto the stage. Everyone in the crowd applauded and I heard a few people yell my name. I invited some of my friends from the cabaret and could pick out their cheers.

"Thank you all so much, I'm excited to be here with Astral Shade tonight! Is everyone enjoying the show so far?" Everyone cheered again, this kind of crowd was new for me, I hoped I was going to be ok. I wasn't used to the rowdiness of a show like this, but I have to say, it was giving me a rush I hadn't experienced in a long time.

Matt re-approached the mic, "Alright, for this one we are going to strip things down a bit," he said as he switched his electric guitar to his acoustic.

The next few songs were seamless, this was the first time I was able to hear the band as a whole, with Kari included. The crowd seemed to be loving her as well and there was chatter around me of people trying to figure out where she came from. A few people recognized her as, "That hot actor's ex-girlfriend." I found that to be so annoying like she was nothing more than his accessory. She had a name. I tried to shake off my annoyance.

"It's going well!" Sora shouted at me. I turned, giving her two thumbs up, not wanting to shout.

Another round of cheers started as they finished another song. I got knocked a bit by someone behind me and saw a flash of blond hair hurry past me. I shook my head before turning back to the show.

"Hey everybody, we are going to have Kari take the lead on this one," Matt said stepping back a bit from the mic.

Sweat was dripping down my face. I was slightly out of breath from the last song, and desperate for water, but I was having the time of my life.

Performing in the theater was a completely different experience, the crowd was polite and subdued, only applauding when a song had ended and only for a few seconds so the show could continue. Here, there were constant shouts and cheers... which... I mean, I knew would happen. I've been to shows before, but being on stage for it was exhilarating! I was so happy I decided to do this tonight, and now I was performing a song I'd always wanted to do in front of a crowd.

Michael had, essentially, blacklisted me in the city. When I left, he told me I would never find work doing what I loved, all of his family's connections would keep me out. That's why I was on stage now. I knew I needed visibility and, while minimal, at least this was something.

"You think I'm going to let you have this? Maybe if you behave..." He said, before one of our worst nights. I had talked about an audition I was planning to go on. At first, I was obviously devastated, my spirit and hope were just as broken as my body. Music was all I had and it was what kept me going the past few months. I was lucky I went to school with the manager of the club I performed at. Michael had tried to stop me from working there, but the manager told him politely, "fuck off."

I was grateful. That place was all I had until this point and I knew I would never get anywhere doing shows there once a week.

When Matt asked me to sing with them tonight, I was skeptical. Had he figured it out? Every time he asked me why I wasn't auditioning, I dodged it, but I was never a great liar. Did he know how desperate I was? I wasn't a rock star, I sang show tunes for the most part. I worried it was a pity offer, and I couldn't stand the thought of gaining anything like that. I wanted to be able to stand on my own two feet.

Without knowing it, the guys filmed us one day. Matt asked me to work on an arrangement with him for a song they were working on. We sounded good together, our voices blended really well, and I was comfortable with him after being friends for so long. After that was when I asked Matt to join me for my show at the club, but he said I had to repay him and sing tonight.

So here I was, loving every second of what I knew was fleeting. They were leaving at the end of the week and I would be back to solo acts at a club no one knew about.

I looked over at Sora and TK. It was still so awkward, we had yet to talk about me leaving, and I felt really guilty, but he had been so kind to me even after everything I had put him through.

I glanced back to TK, and was startled when I saw a familiar head of blonde hair bump into him, and take a spot behind him in the crowd. Our eyes met and he smirked at me.

I forgot how beautiful he was, it's probably what made him so dangerous. Who knew such a lovely thing could hold such a wicked soul. His eyes were the darkest blue I had ever seen, like the deepest part of the ocean. He had golden, curly, hair that he kept just below his ears. His features were angular but not sharp, like Matts.

Looking at TK standing in front of him was like looking at night and day. TK with his soft features and sky blue eyes were like a sunrise, while Michael was dusk.

He had this awful, cocky, smile on his face and it terrified me. He wouldn't have come here without a plan, and the fact that he came here tonight, with me surrounded by the guys, showed me just how much control he believed he had over this situation. The way he specifically found TK worried me too. I didn't want Michael to start a fight with him or anyone here.

I knew if I could get to TK quickly, or get his attention and pull him away that we might be able to get out of here before anything happened. I knew he wouldn't ask any questions and we could possibly be a quarter of the way to the apartment before anyone else even realized we were gone.

What the hell was I getting him into, how could I ask him to help me with any of this? Michael was who I fell into after TK.

There was no rebound, no one-night stands, there was just Michael. He didn't start out bad, he was a little aggressive and forward, but I was drawn to that. I wanted what TK wasn't. If I had found someone who was gentle, and kind, I would have just been reminded of what I left behind.

Deep down I think I knew he would show up. He just couldn't let me have this moment. I had trouble believing he was so unafraid of consequences but I guess when you let someone abuse you for months, you give up the chance to be surprised by things they will do to you.

As the song ended, I turned from the crowd and tried to collect myself. I just had to get through two more songs and I would be free. I finished my drink and accidentally made eye contact with John. He mouthed, "what's wrong?" I must have looked terrified. I shook my head and tried to force a smile as Matt introduced the next song.

I tried to look anywhere but where TK, Sora, and Michael were during the next two songs. I was going through the motions and prayed I wasn't totally botching these last two numbers. As we ended the final song, and the crowd erupted into cheers, my stomach tied into knots. We thanked the crowd and made our way off.

As soon as I could get off the stage I bolted to the back to grab my bag. They called after me to see what the rush was but I just wanted to get out of there. The less involved they were the better.

As I made my way down the hallway I started to slow down a bit as I neared the crowd. I was passing the alcove where the bathrooms were when I felt someone grab my hair and pull back. I was shoved into a wall and everything went white for a moment before I opened my eyes and saw Michael's dark blue eyes staring back into mine.

"You left without saying goodbye, and while I know it's a habit, it's really fucking impolite." His voice was low, and he looked at me expectantly, but all I could do was stare at him. I was horrified. I had hoped I would never have to see him up close again.

"It's o-over let-t me go back to my friends," I stammered at first but started to find some strength.

A few girls giggled as they wandered into the bathroom, staring at us thinking we were lovers, looking for a corner. I was too scared to ask for help.

I was trying to be logical about this, the guys would be walking by soon and he would have to let me go.

"Your friends?! We both know you are just some group whore for them, and wouldn't you rather have me." His hand started to slide up between my legs.

"No!" I screamed and pushed as hard as I could against him. It shocked him for a moment, and I used the opportunity to try to run away from him.

I felt him grab my arm, and twist. I yelped, and screamed, as loud as I could for help. I stopped being worried about creating a scene. Except, help, wasn't the word that came out, it was TK.

"TK," he spat back at me as he held me against the wall. "That's why you left? So you could go back to that loser." He leaned into me and I felt his breath against my neck. "I don't thi-," He was cut off, and suddenly I was freed.

"What the fuck do you think you are doing!" I turned, hearing Trevor's voice, and saw him and TK looking angrier than I had ever seen either of them.

"So you went back to him AND got with the junkie? Where have your standards gone Kar?" He tisked, and moved towards me again, but TK stepped between us.

"Don't even think about it. It's time for you to go," TK, spoke low and forceful. Almost spitting out each word.

"Kari, and I, have things to discuss," Michael said, haughtily.

"You must be out of your goddamn mind!" Matt shouted as he walked up with John. "Get the fuck out of here!"

Michael smiled wickedly and put his hands up. "No need to throw a fuss, Matt, we're old friends remember. No harm was done here."

He started to walk away but then quickly turned and shoved TK out of the way. He grabbed my arm and tried to pull me towards the emergency exit, near the end of the hall. Trevor reacted quickly and grabbed both his shoulders pulling him off of me. He managed to rip my sleeve off in the process, and I fell against the wall. Trevor turned him around, slammed him into the wall, and punched him in the jaw.

"What's going on back here!" Trevor stopped mid-swing, he was going in for a second hit as two bouncers walked up. I saw Sora peak her face around the two tall, burly, men. A crowd was starting to form. I saw the girls who had been in the bathroom, they must have snuck out at some point, and they looked at me with pity. I turned my face down.

"Everyone down the hall, and out back, now!" One of the bouncers shouted while the other one grabbed Trevor off of Michael. They walked the two past us and towards the door. TK came next to me inspecting for any harm done. He put his arm around me and started to move us outside.

Matt, John, and Sora were behind us. When we got through the door I took a deep breath. I didn't realize how stifling the air in the hallway had become. Looking up, I saw the bouncer taking everything in before his eyes landed on me and widened.

"Was what happened to his face, because of her?" I looked down at myself and saw my sleeve hanging from my arm, bruises in full view for everyone to see.

"He had her cornered, we were trying to get him off of her," TK started to explain before Michael cut him off. "No way they came at me."

The bouncer glared daggers at Michael. "Dude, you are lucky we don't let them finish what this guy started," he said, gesturing to Trevor. "Leave."

"I'm not going anywhere I'm pressing charges against this piece of shit," Michael said, as he started to pull out his phone.

"Then I will too," Everyone looked at me. I wasn't going to let Trevor go down for me.

Michael started to laugh, "For what? Nothing happened Kari."

"Look at me!" I yelled. My voice didn't sound like my own. I was finally more angry than I was frightened. He actually looked startled by it. "What you did is all over me, it's everywhere! I'm covered in what you've done."

"It's your word against mine," he replied back but didn't seem convinced.

"I think everyone standing here is a witness," Matt said.

The bouncers nodded. "Whatever she says we saw, we saw."

Michael nursed his jaw in his hand and looked around in disgust. "This isn't over," he said darkly as he walked away from us.

Once he turned the corner I started to feel dizzy, like any ounce of energy I had was stuck in the moment that just passed. I felt gentle arms around my waist catch me before I fell to the ground. As we slid down against a wall I half-heard everyone around me. Someone brought up an ambulance or the police, and I shook my head no. It went quiet for a moment before I felt a glass placed in my hands. I put it to my mouth wishing it was dark, instead of clear and full of water. Again someone started mentioning a doctor but I pleadingly looked around, "Can we just go home?"

Quiet again, and the beginning of a protest from Sora before Matt put his hand up to stop her. He fussed around on his phone for a minute before putting it back in his pocket. He turned to the rest of the guys and asked them to gather everything up and meet us back at his place. He stepped aside with the bouncers and I tried to make out what they were saying, but gave up after a moment. After a few minutes, the bouncers went back inside and he checked his phone again. He came around to one side of me, with TK on the other, and they lifted me to my feet. We made our way to the street and got into a cab.

I closed my eyes and hoped for silence, and it's exactly what I received. When I opened my eyes I realized the only other person in the car was TK. He saw me look over at him and he reached for my hand, giving me a light squeeze. He went to pull away but I held it tighter. He held onto my hand the rest of the way back to Matt's. We didn't speak. There was nothing to be said. Everyone knew the ugly truth now, and I relished the silence because I knew it would end the second we walked through his brother's door.