EDITED 4/10/2021

Disclaimer: I do not own Digimon, or the song 'I Took A Pill' by Mike Posner.

"I'm just a singer who already blew his shot
I get along with old-timers
'Cause my name's a reminder of a pop song people forgot
And I can't keep a girl, no
'Cause as soon as the sun comes up
I cut 'em all loose and work's my excuse
But the truth is I can't open up"

After a quick shower, I was ready to go but I was still waiting for Kari to finish getting ready. Matt and Sora had made themselves scarce, as per the plan. I was nervously scanning through my phone trying to distract myself from all the ways that today could go wrong. Kari and I avoided talking about us, for the most part, and I wasn't sure what would come from that conversation if it were to come up today. It would be the longest we had been alone together since I'd arrived.

Part of me wanted so badly to know what happened, but the other part just wanted us to start over. We couldn't go back in time and rewrite history, so why dwell on it. Was my piece of mind worth it? I hated all this second-guessing, it wasn't like me. I needed to calm down and stop worrying so much.

"I'm ready," she shouted from her room. I stood up and gathered my wallet from the counter and pocketed my phone. She was in front of me when I looked up, wearing high-waisted jean shorts and a dark blue, flowing, long sleeve blouse. I frowned thinking about how uncomfortable she must be in long sleeves, it was pretty warm out today. I wiped the look off my face before she could notice.

"So whats's the budget?" She asked as we stepped out into the hallway, she locked the door and we made our way to the elevator.

"Matt gave me his card and said, 'Go nuts.'" I chuckled as Kari got this devious look on her face.

"Perfect, we're heading to Soho." I nodded at her, not really sure what that meant, but she seemed rather pleased.

We headed into the elevator, and she leaned against the wall blowing some of her hair away from her face, "Is there anything else you want to see while we're out? I know you only have a few more days here." I thought about her question as I continued to watch her try to fix and smooth her hair into place.

"Anything?" She gave me a curious look after I had clearly been staring too long. I refocused on the question at hand. I had only been to the city twice before, once with Kari as kids which was short-lived, and once when Matt first moved and we did all the stereotypical tourist stuff. "Not really but if there is anything you think I should see, I'm down." I smiled warmly at her, and she nodded thinking intensely about it.

She seemed to come to a conclusion in her head before responding, "I'll let it be a surprise." The elevator opened and we made our way out into the busy city streets.

"Alright, when we get to Astor, we need to grab the Six down to Spring," I nodded trying to take in my surroundings while keeping a lookout for Astor Street. When we made it, we took the stairs down to the subway, It was so humid that it was almost suffocating, and I ended up losing Kari for a moment as people pushed through to get out. Tokyo's system was so much more orderly and clean, but this was total chaos. I paused for a second, seeing a woman with a small child begging for money, but I felt Kari grab my arm and pull me along.

We only had to wait for a minute before the train showed up, and as people exited in a hurry and shoved past us it was mayhem once again. Kari grabbed my hand and pulled me through the crowd to get on the train. It was just as crammed when we made it inside and there were no seats available. Kari walked over to a corner and leaned up against a metal bar, releasing my hand, I grabbed one above us as the train jerked forward.

She was giggling at me and I narrowed my eyes a bit. "What, may I ask is so funny?" I asked in a mock offense. "Not like Japan, huh?" She replied. I snorted at her trying to hold in my laughter. "Yea, definitely not."

When we finally got to our stop and came back up onto the street I was grateful for the fresh air, even though you probably can't call any city's air fresh, it was still an improvement. She lead me down a slew of busy streets littered with artists on the sidewalks, selling their work. It was less congested than midtown but still crowded and busy. As she led me into the first store I gulped, it looked expensive, and all the mannequins looked like Matt.

She patted me on the back sensing my nervousness, "I'll make it painless," she said with a toothy grin. She had me sit on a large black ottoman in the middle of the store, while she searched through the racks. I took my hair down and untangled it a bit. I didn't let it dry before I put it up and it was giving me a headache. I used my hands to make it a bit more manageable before throwing it back up on top of my head. I saw one of the workers giving me a weird look. I looked down at my feet. Here I was with my messy hair, apparently awful cargo shorts, old tee shirt, and dirty sneakers. I sighed, I wasn't meant for this place.

I grabbed my phone out of my pocket and started scrolling through social media. All my friends back home were posting about their graduation and new jobs. I had a few messages asking about how it was going in America and a lingering message from my closest friend back home, Davis, that I had been ignoring for over a week. I heard someone coming towards me and looked up to see Kari with her arms full. I quickly clicked off the page and pocketed my phone. I stood up and laughed awkwardly, "Huh, all this? Really?" Saying she went overboard is an understatement.

She hoofed it all into my arms, "No, silly, the rest is already in the fitting room." She smiled brightly as she pushed me in the direction of the rooms. There was a tall blonde girl, about our age, waiting by the rooms with a key. "Hey there sweetie, the room back here is all set for you!" She showed me back and Kari took a seat right outside. "My name is Cara if you need anything!" She said politely before heading back out into the store, leaving me and Kari alone.

In addition to the six pairs of jeans I had in my arms, in the room there were a few simple v-neck t-shirts and a few plaid button-down shirts. "Really? Plaid, am I a lumber-" "Just try them!" She cut me off before I could finish. I grumbled to myself, I hated trying things on and rarely ever did, this is why everything I had on was 10 years old.

Kari used to take me with her all the time and I never minded when we were kids, I even enjoyed it. I guess when she left I never really had anyone to go with or anyone to put in any effort for. I shook myself out of my thoughts. I didn't need to go there right now. I picked up one of the jeans and read the back, "What is slim fit?" I asked honestly.

"Oh. My. Goodness. Put on the pants before I come in and change you myself." I felt my face heat up and I started to undress and shimmy my way into the jeans. They weren't as tight as I imagined 'slim fit' would be, and they were actually really soft, and comfortable.

Damnit, Everyone was going to be right.

I threw on a black v-neck shirt, also amazingly comfortable, everything I owned currently was kind of scratchy compared to this fabric. I grabbed one of the plaid shirts, it was a blend of light blues and grays. She'd always tried to get me into blue, saying it brought out the color brought out my eyes.

I checked myself out and couldn't decide how I felt about it. Everything was clearly of good quality, and I thought I looked ok, but it was so different from what I normally wore that I just wasn't sure.

"Okay, don't laugh," I said seriously as I opened the door. I spread my arms out wide and did a little spin. The corners of her mouth turned up a bit, "Why would I laugh," she replied sincerely. "It all fits really well, you look handsome," Her face reddened a bit as she said this. I turned and looked at myself again, at least she still thought I was cute, I thought with a smirk.

"I guess this is an improvement." I sighed, and she giggled at me. "Try on the rest." She pointed at the door shooing me back in.

After about a half-hour, and a large bill, we finally left the store. "Ok, let's take a break before the next place." She said, looking at the time on her watch.

"Wait, I have to do that again?!" I gave her my best pout but she just rolled her eyes at me. "Let's get back to Spring. We need to take the E train downtown," I nodded and followed her back toward the subway.

When we got off this time she said we were in the 'financial district.' I looked up at the looming building up ahead of us and noticed the crowd getting larger as we got closer. I shielded my eyes and looked up, "It's the new World Trade Center," she said. "Is that where we're going?" I asked seeing people walking towards us with books in their hands. She pulled me away from them, "No, but it's close. Ignore those guys, they aren't supposed to be selling that stuff here, they're the worst." I nodded and made sure not to engage any of them as we made our way past the site.

She led me across the street and we were suddenly in front of a large brick wall probably over 10 feet high. 'Trinity Church,' read a small plaque next to a large entrance. We walked up the steps and I realized we were walking into a cemetery, but it was like walking into a different century. I looked at the stones as we walked by and noticed dates from the 1800s, some were so old that almost everything was worn away. She stopped at a bench and took a seat. Closing her eyes, she smiled turning her face up towards the sun. I sat next to her and rested my tired feet.

"So a cemetery?" I asked after a minute, slightly amused. I was expecting some big attraction, so to say I was surprised would be an understatement.

"I love it here," she said softly. "It still stands after more than one hundred years in one of the most modern cities in the world. Like, look over there," she pointed out into the city. "It's right there, all around us, but here it's like time stopped and nothing has touched this place. It's beautiful and quiet, and I just..." She drifted off looking sheepish. I grabbed her hand and squeezed before I realized what I had done, but she didn't pull away. It was something I used to do when I knew she felt silly from rambling. Just a sign that I didn't think she was being weird, it happened so naturally. I let go and grabbed the side of the bench in my hands. "I get it, it's like a pause in all the craziness." She nodded and smiled.

We sat for a few minutes in comfortable silence before she nudged me, "Ready to grab some food and hit another store?" I thought for a moment, "Yes! And Meh." I shrugged. "You'll live through one more store," she stated dryly. As we were leaving we passed a large group surrounding one of the graves, apparently, this was an attraction after all.

After eating, we headed back in the direction we came, hopped on the subway to uptown, and got off near Soho again. I followed her into the next store and was immediately overwhelmed. The last one was very organized but this was almost as nutty as the subway. She saw me take a tentative step back and told me to wait. She was gathering items for me again but this store didn't have seating like the last one. I looked through the most random selection of journals and books. 'On the Road' was next to a book about your cat wanting to kill you, and Americans think Japan is weird.

I wandered over to an area with clothes but ended up in the women's section. I saw a dress on the end of one of the racks that reminded me of Kari. I looked at the tag, 'Lace Trapeze Slip' it was light pink with dark brown dots. I heard her calling me from a few racks away. "I don't think Sora meant for you to be in dresses," she said.

"Har Har," I replied sarcastically. "It's for you to try. I've been a dress-up doll all day, it's your turn." She fiddled with the material and seemed to be ok with it. "Ok, here are yours," she said, and we exchanged what we had been holding.

I changed quickly into the light grey shorts she had handed me. They were a little tighter than my old ones and only had normal pockets, but I guess they were okay. I came out of the room and knocked on the door across the way where she was changing. "Hey, I need you to tell me if these are acceptable."

She cracked the door and stuck her head out, "Looks good," she said before trying to close the door on me. I stopped her, "Hey, don't I get to see my attempt at dressing you." She took a shaky breath and opened the door. "I look ridiculous," she said awkwardly as she stared at the ground.

She didn't look ridiculous. She looked lovely, it was so much softer than anything I had seen her in since I'd been here. She rubbed her arms a bit, looking at her bruises. "Kar, ignore them for now, look at the rest of you, it looks great. When was the last time you had anything on lighter than navy blue?" She took another look and relaxed a bit but played with the hem of the dress. "I try to stay away from anything too sheer," she said quietly. "Those are going to fade," I said with as much empathy as I could. "It looks cute on you, you should get it." A blush started to appear on her face. She smiled a bit, "Even if I wanted to it's a bit over my budget at the moment. You should finish trying your stuff on." She closed the door on me before I could say anything else. I went back in and finished up, feeling guilty. I didn't mean to make her feel bad.

When I came back out she was gone and the dress had been discarded on the counter by the fitting rooms. I grabbed it and hid it under the items I was taking. I left the fitting room area and saw her over near the shoes. "What size shoe are you?" She asked as I got closer to her. "Ten." She nodded grabbing two boxes and placing them on top of my pile. "Alright I think we are good," she said excitedly, bouncing over to the counter.

Once I got there I patted my pocket and looked over at her, "Shit, I think I left my phone in the fitting room. Would you mind checking while I cash out?" She nodded, "Of course!" She hurried back to the fitting rooms. She believed me so easily I almost felt bad. I turned to the cashier, "Can you ring this one out first on a separate transaction," I slipped the dress out from under everything else and handed it to the cashier. "I'll be quick," She said with a wink, easily catching on.

By the time Kari came back she had already cashed me out for her dress and was halfway through my things. "I couldn't find it," she said looking slightly panicked.

"No, it's ok we found it buried in the clothes. I was just about to come and look for you."

She sighed, relieved, "I was worried someone stole it. I'm so glad it was there." She looked genuinely stressed about it and I felt a little bad for making her worry but hoped it would be worth it.

As we left the store I checked the time, almost five. Hopefully, this had given Matt enough time. I stole a glance over at Kari as we walked, she had a peaceful smile on her face and looked pretty relaxed. I hoped we weren't about to ruin that.

They were all set up when we got back. Matt looked up and nodded to greet us, while he casually tuned a guitar on the couch. Sora jumped off the counter and came over to inspect the content of my bags. "Good job Kari, I'm impressed."

"Hey, I was there too." I scoffed at her but she just stuck out her tongue at me. "Yea but I know how that goes," She rolled her eyes and gave Matt a knowing look. He shook his head at her but quickly turned to Kari as she was making her way to her bedroom, "Kari can you help me show the guys the mashup we've been working on?"

She looked at him skeptically, "Why?"

He gave her his trademark, 'I'm so annoyed. Isn't this obvious,' look before responding. "Because I need someone else to learn your part if you aren't going to come." He finished in a very, matter-of-fact manner. She looked sad for a moment, "Oh, yeah sure. Let me just grab some water."

She headed into the kitchen and we all stared around the room awkwardly. Trevor, looking more bored than usual, was sitting on the love seat across from Matt. John was next to him, literally sweating, clearly not good at hiding anything. Matt moved to tune another guitar making sure not to look up at anyone, especially Sora, as she paced the room. Colin seemed the most relaxed out of everyone, seated at the counter on his computer, so I decided to set myself up next to him. Kari passed us to go back into the living room, she put her glass down on the table and picked up the recently discarded guitar, and started strumming out some cords.

Colin immediately opened the internet up to the live stream he had set up. There was a small camera connected to the top of his computer facing the couch. The plan was to record them and get some reaction from their fans about the possibility of her heading out on tour with them.

"You ready Kar?" Matt looked at her as he finished tuning his guitar. She nodded, and Colin started the live feed titled, "Who wants to see Kari Kamiya on Tour!" Casual, I thought sarcastically.

As they started playing it was like everyone in the room held their breath. We knew this was probably our last chance to get her to come. If it didn't work they were going to delete the post and pretend it never happened. I noticed the screen start to light up, little hearts, thumbs up, and smiley faces started floating across the screen. That was a good start but it was just Matt so far and it wasn't him that needed the extra ego boost.

It wasn't ten seconds after she started singing that she was getting a response from people. More hearts were floating across the screen and comments were starting to come in.

"Who is she?! Keep her!"

"The girl from the show the other night!"

"OMG YAS!"

"Can't wait to see you guys in LA"

"Matt is mine get away from him..."

Colin and I shared a glance. I was never sure how Sora handled the rabid fangirls so well. Mostly positive comments trailed in, along with a crazy one every few minutes.

I stopped staring at the screen and looked at Kari. I felt myself relax when I saw the serene look on her face. She looked so relaxed and happy when she was singing, seeing her like this made me want it to work even more. The idea of her sitting here when she should be on stage was so disheartening.

I glanced back at the screen and noticed we had over a thousand viewers and the number was growing, 200 or so reactions and over 130 comments, overwhelmingly in favor of her coming.

When they finished Colin ended the live feed. Matt looked over at us, "How'd we do over there Colin?" He turned his computer and said, "Why doesn't everyone come to take a look."

Kari looked at us, confused at first, but that look quickly drifted into annoyance, "What did you do?"

No one responded to her. They just got up and headed over to us, except John who continued to sweat in his seat and look generally uncomfortable.

When everyone had surrounded the computer Colin pressed play, we watched the video while seeing the reactions and comments come in again. I laughed whenever Sora would sigh knowing it was one of the more aggressive comments.

"See Kari, you are talented and we need you on this tour. It's not a pity ploy," Matt said, after we watched for a minute.

She shifted uncomfortably, "I don't know. Now I feel like I don't even have a choice. What will all these people think if I don't go?" She turned away from the screen and Colin paused it. Trevor looked like he was about to go off but he was interrupted.

"Kar," John spoke up for the first time. The way he said her name was almost desperate. "How can you ask us to leave you here. First, and most importantly, you are amazing and deserve a real shot which is obviously not going to happen in New York right now." He paused, standing up and turning towards us. "Second, we want you on this tour. We need something, special, and different. That's you. This was not some split-second decision, it has been on the table for weeks." He walked over to her and placed his hands on her shoulders. "Lastly, we love you like family. If this happened to someone you cared about could you really just leave them alone and go across the country? You don't have just one brother halfway across the world in Japan, you have four more right here, and a sister, and … whatever TK is to you," I felt my face heat up, as he laughed, gently letting her go.

"He's right Kari. How could I look at myself every morning if I just left you here?" Matt said firmly, getting nods from both Colin and Trevor in agreement.

She reached out to Colin for his computer. He handed it to her and she took it over to the couch, sat down, and clicked around on the keyboard for a minute before the song started to play again. She placed the laptop down in front of her on the table and placed her chin in her hands.

"We need to work out the cords in the second verse. It's not where it should be for a live set," she kept her eyes on the screen as she spoke. "But other than that I think we should be good to use this on tour. What do ya think?"

Everyone was silent for a moment before what she was saying really sunk in. "It's happening?" John asked cautiously, not wanting to jump to conclusions. "It's happening," She replied still staring at the screen with a smile slowly pulling at the corners of her lips.

It was like the entire room let out a collective breath. Matt walked over to the couch and sat next to her, "Play the part you were talking about again?" He said, as he wrapped one arm around her and pulled her into a short hug. She placed her head on his shoulder for a moment before they returned their attention to the song and the changes that needed to be made. The guys surrounded them on the couch and started discussing various other things regarding the tour.

Sora and I placed ourselves at the counter happily watching from a distance. She nudged me a bit, "You gonna be okay with all of this?" She asked quietly. "Mhhm," I nodded. "I wasn't sure at first but … we are more than two people who dated. We were best friends for years, we only dated for a couple of months. I think if I didn't give us a chance to rebuild that friendship I would be making a mistake." She placed her hand on my shoulder, "Well if you ever need to talk, or vent, just know I'm always here." I gave her hand a squeeze as she got up off her stool and made her way over to the group.

I saw my backpack was just next to the counter so I reached down, rummaged through my bag, and grabbed my notebook and a pen. I looked over at the group before I started to write, that was why I had come after all, and I had an awful lot to catch up on before we left in a few days.