Edited 4/9/2021 I don't own Digimon or the song "Alive" by Sia.

"I was born in a thunderstorm

I grew up overnight

I played alone

I'm playing on my own

I survived"

"How long has it been?"

"Huh?" I looked up at the woman holding my hair in her hands.

"Since your last hair cut, sweetie." The hairdresser smiled at me kindly, as she happily watched my hair fall to the ground.

"Oh. I mean, maybe 3 years," I replied.

"Well this is going to feel amazing for you when we are done, way lighter and healthier," She beamed as she talked.

I couldn't help but smile at her enthusiasm. I looked down and watched my dark brown hair flutter around as it fell to the floor. My hair was so thick, it was one of the reasons I kept it short for so long. Growing up, all the girls in school thought I was crazy, "What will you do for the dance? Don't you get bored? It's so boyish," I used to just laugh at all of them. If they had short hair they would understand how liberating it was. It never got in the way, it was easy to manage, plus I always felt prettiest with short hair that framed my face.

"So, what's the occasion?" I pondered her question, thinking of the way I looked right now, arms still covered, with dark circles under my eyes.

"I needed a change," I drifted, before remembering an important, and far more upbeat detail. "Oh, and I'm going on tour with my friend's band. I figured it would be less work on the road."

"A band? How cool! Well, I think this is going to be super cute, you just make sure to tell all your fans where you got your killer hair cut from," She exclaimed, sending me a wink.

She reminded me of my friend, Mimi, so confident and bubbly. I always envied the attitude.

"Alright, I'm going to turn you around. It might be weird at first. I did take a ton off." Her confidence wavered a bit. I wondered how many girls had cried in her chair. Wanting a big change but, immediately, regretted it. She spun me around and I looked at a girl I hadn't seen in years. I smiled as I ran my hands through what was left of my hair. It was asymmetrical to one side. Just below my ear on the left and just below my chin on the right. It was choppier and edgier than it had been growing up.

"It's perfect." I beamed, as she let out a big sigh. "Oh good! I sure thought so, but some girls just can't handle the change."

"No way, I've had it shorter than this before, but this is exactly what I need for right now." I flipped my head a bit, back and forth, enjoying the way it bounced without all the dead weight my long hair had.

I finished up at the salon and checked my watch to see how I was doing on time. I had one more appointment that day. Slipping my phone out of my back pocket, I fumbled with the lock, sliding my fingers across the screen until I got to my photos. My fingers scrolled up the screen until I found the photo I was looking for. As I made my way across the city I took in every line and dot in the picture I had come to be so fond of. I clicked the screen to capture the photo so it was the first one that would come up when I opened it again.

This was something I had been thinking about doing for years. The only person who I ever talked about it with was TK, during our senior year. We had planned to go together after graduation, once our parents couldn't technically control our lives anymore.

I thought about Michael in comparison, how he always commented on girls having them and how trashy and unattractive it was. I tabled so many things I wanted because of our relationship.

Lost in my thoughts, I looked up and realized I had gone a block too far, I backtracked to my destination. I walked inside and took a look around, photos of past work covered the walls, and there was a sterile smell to the space.

"Kari?" A tall redheaded guy, who looked about 10 years older than me, called over.

"Yea, thats me."

"Great, I have everything all set for you if you're ready to go." He had soft brown eyes, freckles that speckled his nose, and a charming smile. I was expecting someone edgier looking, but his gentle features calmed my anxiousness. The work he had was all extremely well done, and his portfolio was exceptional. He did Matt's piece, I found his card lying around when I first moved in.

We walked back to his space and he told me to get comfortable. I laid down on his table, he gave me a pillow for my head and took a look at my arm.

He frowned at the faded bruises still making little shapes across my skin, "We might want to reschedule."

I bolted up from the table. I hadn't even thought about how they would affect it. I looked at my arm and the dark mark on my bicep, my eyes traveled down to my forearm and it was bare of discoloration.

"What if we moved it?" I said, hopefully.

I pointed to the spot, and he checked me out, before nodding in approval of the move. He carefully cleaned my arm with an alcohol pad and used a razor to shave the area clean. He opened his tools from their sterile wrapping and, carefully, put his equipment together. He put a clear gel on my arm and placed the picture face down. He pulled it up and turned my arm a bit to look it over.

"Is that placement ok?"

I looked over the design on the inside of my forearm, "Perfect." It was better there than my bicep anyway.

"Alright, let's go." I laid back down and closed my eyes. The gun made a loud, quick, "tic tic tic tic," noise as he got started. As he dragged the needle across my skin I was surprised by how much less it hurt than I expected. I had been through worse.

"That ok?" He said as he wiped away some ink.

"Yea, no problem."

I let myself zone out while he continued. Every once in a while I would tense up or feel my arm twitch a bit. I was surprised when he finished and how easy it had been.

Physical pain always felt different when you were in charge of it.

It was about six o'clock and Kari still hadn't come home. We were all a little nervous this morning when she had already been gone a few hours, until we found a note on the fridge, in plain sight, explaining she would be out for most of the day. At that point we all felt foolish for assuming the worst, she deserved a little more trust from us.

Matt, Sora, and I had just finished dinner. We had a pretty relaxing day compared to the past few. Matt and Sora packed and I spent it writing.

Some of Matt's friends had offered to take him out since it was one of his last nights in town, but we decided to throw on a movie and just stay in. I think we all needed some peace after everything. It was nice that it was just us for the day. It reminded me of being back in middle school, crashing with each other when our mom or dad was gone on assignment.

It was about an hour later when we heard the sound of keys jingling from the hall.

"Hey everyone," Kari shouted as she came through the door before making a beeline for the kitchen.

"Hey!" We all shouted back.

"Thanks, Matt," she walked into the living room with a bowl of ramen Matt had set aside for her.

I did a double-take as she sat down on the love seat, "Your hair." She had a big grin on her face and shook her head a bit making her brown hair dance around her head.

"You like it?"

I nodded, between the hair and the smirk she was sporting, she was starting to look like herself again.

"Hey, what's with the patch?" Matt probed.

I was so fixated on her hair that I totally missed the white square covering her right forearm. My stomach lurched for a moment, but when I looked back at her face she was still smiling, so I knew she wasn't hurt. She set her dinner down and took a seat on the table in front of us. My eyes traveled up and away from the bandage to the lingering bruises on her arms. I was happy to see them fading away. She slowly peeled her patch away and revealed a tattoo.

"No way!" Matt reached out for her arm and gently inspected it. "Very out of character. I like it. You went to Bobby, didn't you?" He asked as Sora took a turn checking it out.

"Yea, he was great. Not what I expected," said Kari.

"For sure. I remember going in and thinking I was going to be meeting some guy with a septum piercing, and a face tattoo, and there he is looking like he just came from prep school. Can't judge a book," Matt said, chuckling. "So, how long have you been planning this?"

"I mean, I've wanted one since we were in high school but the time was never right. When I moved in and found his card I decided to go for it," She said.

Sora moved so I could take a look, "What's it mean?" She asked.

I leaned in to study it. It was a circle that was formed by a snake eating its own tail. The inside bottom had small detailed wildflowers that made the shape of a crescent moon, and the top of the circle had vines growing out like the sun's rays. The snake's body was covered in tribal art and right in the bottom middle was the only color, a pink flower that I recognized, the flower she had doodled for years on the edge of her notebook.

"It's the Ouroboros, it represents self-sufficiency, endless creation, and destruction. The flowers are the sun and the moon, so night and day... life and death..." She trailed off.

"It's perfect," I said softly. "Just like you always talked about." I released her arm back to her. She smiled back before getting up and sitting back in her seat with her meal. Matt put the movie back on and we settled in.

I felt someone nudging my shoulder, cracking an eye open I saw TK above me.

"Hey," He was whispering. "You passed out. I figured you wouldn't want to spend the whole night out here." He smiled sweetly as he spoke.

I looked over to the couch and noticed Sora and Matt were gone. "They went to bed a while ago," he said, noticing my confusion.

I rubbed my eyes and sat up. He held out his hand to help me out of the love seat. His hand wrapped around my smaller one easily, it was warm and rough. Michaels's hands were always so soft, I always thought they were too soft for the pain they inflicted.

"You ok?"

He was waiting for me to get up, his face showing concern. I looked up and thought about how truly good he was and wanted to laugh at my situation. Here I was in the midst of an angel after living with the devil himself. I let him help me up.

"Yeah sorry, just zoned out," I said. "I guess today took a lot out of me."

I was searching for an excuse. I felt so bad dumping so much on him since he'd arrived, he didn't need to hear anymore.

"Not surprised, tensing up that much will take it out of ya," He seemed sure of this.

"What aren't you telling me?" I asked, squinting. His face got a little red and I couldn't help but giggle. "Where is it hiding?"

"It's on my shoulder," He responded, shyly.

"Well let me see it," I walked around so I was facing his back.

When he started to pull his shirt over his head it was my face that was heating up. Good thing he was turned around. He still had the body of a basketball player, lean, and muscular, but not overly so. My focus went to his left shoulder. It was a sun with lots of detailed line work and stippling, but the bottom rays extended further down. It was beautiful, while still managing to be masculine.

"Hope," I whispered, so quietly, I wasn't sure if he would hear me. I touched it gently before pulling back, feeling suddenly exposed even though he was the one missing a shirt.

As I stepped away he pulled his shirt back on.

"Did you go alone?" I asked feeling guilty, knowing it should have been something we did together.

"No. I um, went with Davis."

"Wait ... Really? The Davis that doesn't know your name?" He laughed, a little too loud, but caught himself. I gestured towards my bedroom so we wouldn't wake the others.

"Yes, that Davis, he's aware of my name now." He said, laughing again. "We actually became quite close. He's probably the closest friend I have back home." There was obvious affection in his voice. It shocked me for a moment but once I thought about it, it made sense.

"Once there was nothing left to fight over."

He reached out for me. His hand, once again, wrapping around mine, "Don't think of it like that. We had a lot of growing up to do before we were ever going to be close."

He pulled me over to my bed and we sat down, as he released my hand I was left wishing for the warmth of it. I was still skeptical about the two of them though.

Once TK and I had gotten together Davis, immediately, stopped making jokes about being with me. He understood boundaries, and I do think by that point it was more of a joke than anything, but I think that was the relationship they were comfortable with when we were growing up. I was surprised that he didn't mention they were so close when we talked about his noodle dabbling the other day.

"Are you sure you're okay?" He asked again, voice laced with concern.

"Yeah. I'm okay, just tired." It was half true.

"Okay, I'll let you get to sleep." He got up off my bed and started to make his way out.

"Wait," I stood quickly, feeling foolish immediately, what did I want? He turned and looked at me curiously.

"Just, thanks for waking me. I would have been miserable packing tomorrow with a crick in my neck." Smooth, I thought sarcastically.

He stepped over to me, wrapped his arms around my shoulders, and pulled me against his chest. I was caught off guard, but after a moment I wrapped my arms around him and hugged him back. I thought about how different it felt to be in his arms as opposed to Michael's. He was absolute safety while hugging Michael was a coin flip, it could be comforting or it could be the beginning of a sick game.

But this, I could have stayed here. Looking back, I wish I would have but who knows what life would be like now, things could have ended and we might have never spoken again. But now, at least we had a new start.