"DIA!"

When Mari burst through the bathroom door in a panic, she was met with the sight of her blood-soaked girlfriend going on a tirade to a pale, transparent woman with a beautiful blue ponytail and striking lilac eyes. Contrary to expectation, it was the ghost that was looking scared.

"...the single most juvenile practical joke in a ghost's entire repertoire!" ranted Dia. "And furthermore, you're using the wrong type of blood!"

"Excuse me?!" sputtered Kanan in bewilderment.

"You should be using type-O, not type-AB! This would have been perfect for Mari, but I'm type A you know! What if I had an open wound? Are you even aware of the consequences of improper blood transfusions?!"

"Wait a minute, how do you even know what type of blood I'm using?"

"Please! It's insultingly easy to taste the difference!" snapped Dia, flipping her hair to show her attitude.

Kanan just shot her a look of abject disbelief.

It was then that Dia took notice of the blonde's presence. "Ah. Mari. This is Matsuura Kanan-san. Our resident mischievous and incredibly rude poltergeist."

Mari stared. "You're... okay?" she asked hesitantly. "I thought... I saw..."

Dia sighed. "I am fine. Whatever you saw was just Kanan-san being a mean-spirited nuisance."

The ghost shrugged. "What can I say?" she offered, "It's joke." Dia only glared at her in response.

Mari took a bit to exhale in relief at how her girlfriend was very much alive and very much okay. Then she finally turned her gaze to Kanan, and any last vestiges of this being a horror story went out the window.

"Oh my!" exclaimed Mari, "We're being haunted by a SEXY ghost?!" She made sure to say the word 'sexy' in English to emphasize how important that part was.

The ghostly girl's cheeks got a little less pale, like if she was blushing in embarrassment. "Oh. Um… I suppose you could say that, if you find that sort of thing… uh… sexy," she managed.

"Indeed I do," flirted Mari with an easy smile, fluttering her eyelashes.

Kanan gave her a small smile in return. "You're pretty cute yourself," she said.

"Hey! That's my girlfriend you know!" snapped Dia.

"I can't help it if she's interested," replied Kanan in a failed attempt at a placating tone.

An anger mark appeared on the back of the ravenette's head, and she reached for her hairspray and her emergency lighter. Without further adieu she lit the small fire and depressed the bottle's trigger, unleashing a gout of flame.

Kanan's eyes widened and she flinched away, her ghostly form almost tripping on whatever it was that ghosts could trip on. "Watch it!" she exclaimed, "That thing's really hot!"

"If there's one thing I've learned from Pokémon, it's that fire is effective against ghosts!" growled Dia threateningly, snuffing her lighter.

"So is water," added Mari. She smiled mischievously. "And once you're wet, licking and biting become super effective!"

Kanan's blush was now luminescent and Mari was about go in for the kill, but of course Dia had other ideas.

"Not true," she interrupted, killing the mood with factoids, "Ghost and dark type moves do not require the target ghost being hit with a water type move to ensure supereffectiveness." She paused to think. "Though another possible albeit unlikely strategy would be to trick the opponent into holding a Ring Target to remove its immunities to normal and fighting moves."

"Why Dia, you want to put a ring on it? Even I wouldn't move that fast!" exclaimed Mari. She hummed in faux-contemplation. "Though I wouldn't mind if it meant we got to use a Quick Attack to Bind her into Submission, then give her a Helping Hand so she'll have a nice Rest after reaching an Explosion. Then we give her a nice Wake-Up Slap so we can get our Revenge all night long! Quite a Nasty Plot, wouldn't you say?"

"What does any of that have to do with Pokémon?" asked Dia in genuine confusion.

At this point Mari could only facepalm at her oblivious girlfriend.

"Anyways!" interjected Kanan. "This has been fun and all, but I think it's time for me to take my leave-"

"Oh no you don't!" snapped Dia. "You're going to replace all this blood with water so I can have a proper shower!"

The ghost sighed. She slowly waved an arm towards the shower in a show of mysticism. Soon there was clean, pure water flowing through the pipes once again. With another grumble about obnoxious phantoms, Dia stepped back into the bathtub to scrub the blood off her body.

Kanan's ghostly eyes were drawn to Dia's figure, blurred though it was by the shower curtain. She glanced to Mari, who had decided to pass the time by reading the backs of Dia's shampoo and conditioner products. With the blonde engrossed in her reading, Kanan deftly stuck her head through the curtain to get a better view of Dia as she showered.

"My, what a naughty ghost!"

Kanan whirled, almost tripping over her incorporeal feet as she turned to find Mari's face right next to hers, the blonde donning a mischievous cat smile. "Are you realizing how beautiful she is underneath all that blood?" she asked with a giggle.

"I wasn't...! That's not...!" stuttered Kanan.

"Do I need to get my flamethrower again?" threatened Dia from within.

"I have a better idea," chirped Mari. "Dia! Has the blood rinsed off yet?"

"Thankfully yes, though I still need to shower properly."

"Excellente!"

The next thing Kanan knew, Mari's clothes were falling to the floor and the shameless blonde literally walked right through her to join Dia in the shower. Kanan felt a chill go up her incorporeal spine as Mari entered her, and the ghost nearly fell to her knees with how stimulated she felt from such a simple action.

The way Dia scolded her, the way Mari flirted with her... it made her feel alive.

"Kanan! We can hear you shivering out there by yourself. Come on in and join us!" beckoned Mari.

"Yes," agreed Dia, "You made quite a mess earlier and I expect you to clean me. Thoroughly."

With invitations like that, how could she refuse? "I-I'm coming!" she replied as she passed through the shower curtain.

"Not without us you're not."

~END~