Edited 4/14/2021
I do not own Digimon or the song Acoustic #3 that would be the Goo Goo Dolls.
"They painted up your secrets
With the lies they told you
And the least they ever gave you
Was the most you ever knew
And I wonder where these dreams go
When the world gets in your way
What's the point in all this screaming
No one's listening anyway"
I watched the two officers from earlier throw TK out the door and onto the ground. Sora reached out to stop me from running up to him, I turned back, and she looked at me with a pleading gaze, "Matt, we don't need them to hold you for five hours as well." She said, calmly.
He got up as one officer said something to him, before walking inside, and slamming the door behind him. TK turned around and I watched Kari run past me towards him.
He was looking more tired, and ragged than I had ever seen him. His eyes looked almost bruised from a lack of sleep and stress. His hair was down, and uncombed, his shirt crumpled in the front from where he had probably been fiddling with it.
Kari crashed into his chest, he put his arms tightly around her and placed his head on top of hers. His eyes were shut and I thought for a moment he might cry. They whispered back and forth to each other, what I could only assume was an endless stream of apologies that neither of them needed to give. They looked so small to me then, all I wanted to do was protect them like I used to when we were young, but I couldn't fight this, real-world, monster.
I felt helpless, I had money, but nowhere near enough to get the resources needed to fight Michael in court. I thought of, finally, reaching out to Tai for the first time since she had shown up at my apartment a few months ago. I wasn't one to abandon someone's wishes when it came to their privacy, but I was lost, and so was she. When she came out earlier she was distraught with the possibility of what was happening to TK in there.
They walked down to meet us, "We should go," TK's voice was hoarse.
Sora and I looked between each other, curious to know what they said to him, but I thought better than to speak up until we were back in the hotel room.
We made our way to the rental and piled in. The ride back to the hotel was taken in silence. I don't think anyone wanted to be the one to break it.
The guys were waiting for us when we got back to the hotel room.
"Trevor?" Kari sounded like she was pleading with him about something.
He pressed off of the wall he'd been leaning on, and headed out of the room, without another word. She made her way onto TK's bed and tucked her feet under her legs, she looked like she wanted to curl up and fall asleep, but she knew we had questions.
"What happened in there?" I looked to TK for an answer, already having some of Kari's story.
He pinched the bridge of his nose like he was fending off a headache. I almost told him we would pick it back up later, but he started talking before I could speak up again, "They turned it onto me, and when I wouldn't confess to anything they left. After a few hours, they came back and tried to tell me Kari, actually, believed I could have done it. They said, 'Why would an actor need to stalk someone?' It was absolute garbage." He sat down on the floor in front of the bed, his knees were up and he had his head and arms resting on them. I didn't know it was possible for someone to look so angry and dejected at the same time, like Kari, he looked like he was ready to sleep for days, but his eyes were also hyper-alert, darting around, almost like he was waiting for someone to come out of the walls.
"He paid them off," Kari said. We all turned to her.
"What do you mean he paid them off? Are you sure?" Sora questioned.
"The way they questioned me. The way they almost immediately tried to make it about TK. They said, 'maybe my judgment wasn't the best if I stayed in an abusive relationship for so long,' so how could I be sure about TK. They treated me like I was a crazy person. It was exactly how he use to treat me." She said.
Trevor came back into the room and sat next to her on the bed, handing her a pill bottle. She popped it open, and grabbed two, before taking a glass of water out of his hand and washing it down.
"Trev?" I questioned him with some warning in my voice.
"Matt, I need to sleep," Kari said firmly. "Don't give him a hard time it's nothing I haven't taken before."
I looked down to see what TK's reaction would be, but his head had fallen to his knees. I wondered if he was asleep there on the floor.
"Do you guys want us to let you sleep for a while, and we can figure out what to do next once you've rested?" John spoke up for the first time, and our gazes met, challenging each other for a moment.
As much as John could seem like the youthful one in the group, happy, and excitable, he could just as easily turn into the parent. He looked between the two of them before looking back at me with a stern look, so I gave in, it wasn't worth an argument and I knew he was right.
Kari didn't respond, she just laid down on the bed and turned away from everyone. We looked to TK for a reaction, but once again, there was no movement. I motioned for everyone to head out. We silently walked down the hallway and into the room the girls had been sharing.
"Dude, this is so messed up," Colin stated, as he sat down on one of the beds.
"We should ask to switch our rooms as we check-in moving forward. I would assume Michael would think better than to continue to set up cameras, but we can't be sure," Sora suggested.
I agreed with her, it was probably the best way to keep everyone safe. I still hadn't had time to fully process that this prick probably had photos of my girlfriend changing. I hoped for her sake he never did anything with them.
"Trevor, what did you give her?" I questioned.
"Relax, I gave her Xanax, she's only taken it one other time, and I wouldn't just give it to her for no reason. She's never going to get any rest if she's panicking for the next few hours," He said, more aggressively than I would have liked. I wasn't thrilled with his choice but it could have been worse, especially with him.
"Guys, I don't mean to be the downer here, but should we consider calling this right now? He's proven to be an absolute lunatic, and if he's getting to cops, how are any of us suppose to fight back? I know a few officers back in the city, and could talk to them about how to go about all of this, but what if he does something worse?" John took a seat on the floor, crossing his legs, and leaning back against the wall.
"If you guys dump the tour now, then he wins. He would have, once again, destroyed her chances at a career in the industry, and he would be messing up things for you guys. Kari isn't going to want you to stop because of this, and if you do, she will always blame herself. I think getting in front of him with the rooms is a good start." I was surprised Sora was fighting for us to stay. I'd even thought about letting it go after everything over the past few hours, but maybe she was right. John still looked uneasy but Colin seemed happy not to throw in the towel.
I just felt so helpless. TK and Kari collectively went through way too much, at way too young of an age. It made them stronger, but it also wore them down a lot, and I hated seeing them go through anything this painful. I kept trying to think of a way to take care of it at the source, but they all ended in jail time, lots, and lots, of jail time. It was tempting though.
"I'm going to take a walk," Trevor got up and left before anyone could protest.
We all shared a look, "Does anyone else think he's being weirdly calm about all of this? He's always been a little more protective of her than John and I. Shouldn't he be swearing, and talking about cracking skulls by now?" Colin questioned, and he had a point.
There was a time, a few months ago, that I was almost annoyed by their closeness. I really thought he was going to take a shot with her, and besides the fact that I was still, ridiculously, sure her and my brother were supposed to end up together, I also didn't want him getting her into anything. Trevor was like a brother, but after all the crap he's pulled in the past, I had to be wary.
"Yea, I mean, I think it's pretty weird, but I also don't want to encourage him to go lose his shit," I said.
"Good point," John agreed. "Another thing I do think we should watch for is anyone suspicious that might be taking photos." He continued.
"Yea that's probably a good idea," Colin said.
Silence settled over our small group and John excused himself to go start packing, Colin followed behind him, leaving Sora and me alone in the room.
"I'm worried about the two of them," Sora said, as she started to pack up her things. "It was easy to fight battles when we were young because we had so much help, but this kind of fight feels hopeless."
It had been a long time since Sora had brought up anything like that, but she had a point. I didn't know how to fight like this, it wasn't about being brave, and believing things would turn out okay. It was about a human psychopath and access to money and lawyers.
Then it hit me, we did know someone who might be able to help. She wasn't as immersed in the business as Michael was, but she was decently successful and had pretty good connections. I would have to wait for TK and Kari so I could clear it with them. It was still Kari's story to tell, and I wasn't going to bring anyone else into it without her being okay.
"I'm," She started to speak but I interrupted her.
"We need to stop apologizing to each other for things that are out of our hands. Neither one of us did this." Her response was silence, but I took it as an agreement because if she didn't agree she would have argued back. I was still seated, pathetically, at the foot of her bed. I'd been racking my brain, trying to think of anything we could possibly do to get him off of our backs, but it was starting to feel hopeless. How do you beat someone who can pay off officers that are supposed to protect us? I tried to contemplate what level of proof we would eventually need to take him down.
"Can you at least not sit on the floor," She said, with a little more sass than I would have expected at the moment, and I had to smile at that.
I stood up and looked between the two double beds, and the image of us before we were interrupted jumped into my head. I almost forgot how close we came to kissing.
She was facing away from me, curled up, and all I wanted to do was lay next to her and fall asleep, but I wasn't sure what was appropriate after everything that just happened. I turned to lay on the other bed and then told myself, screw it, I wasn't going to let him kill what was happening between us. I laid down on my back and closed my eyes. I felt the bed shift as she rolled over and snuggled into my side, I turned and put my arm around her, and pulled her a little closer to me. That was it, we fell asleep fast, and stayed that way for the next few hours.
There was a quiet rapping against the door. I, reluctantly, opened my eyes and saw the soft rise and fall of TK's chest. If the knocking hadn't persisted I would have curled in closer to him and fallen back asleep. Instead, I pulled out of his grasp and went to answer the door. I looked back at TK sadly, I felt like everything happening between us was being tainted, and wondered what would happen with us once this was all over. Could we recover, and have a normal relationship, did he even want that? Did I even want that? Everything was happening so fast but - the knocking came again. I looked through the peephole and saw Matt and Sora standing there, I let go of my thoughts and opened the door.
"Hey, he's still sleeping." I slid halfway out the door, trying not to wake him.
"We should get him up, we want to talk to you guys, and he and I should start packing since we have to leave in a few hours," Matt said, nudging around me into the room.
"Yo, bro, wake up," Mat said, shaking TK a little harder than he probably needed to.
He shot up quickly, looking around the room, "Whaswrong," he slurred out, still half asleep.
"Nothing, you're brother is just a horrible wake-up call," I place my hand, gently, on his shoulder.
He rubbed his eyes and moved to sit at the edge of the bed. "What's up," He said, with a yawn.
"Well, we need to pack since we are leaving soon," said Matt.
"And there is something we want to run by the two of you," Sora added.
I felt TK's hand land on my low back, and I leaned into him. It was grounding, to know he was here with me in all this. We waited, silently, for one of them to speak up. They shared a conflicting look and as usual, Sora was the one to take the lead.
"We were thinking, maybe we should reach out to Mimi about everything that's happening," She paused seeing my confused expression. She cautiously continued, "If there is anyone we know that might have ideas about lawyers who might actually be able to help you, it's got to be her. Also, she knows Michael, maybe she knows of anyone else he's messed around with. The more proof we have the better it will be."
Three months ago I wouldn't have even entertained the thought, but now that Michael was going after people that I cared about I needed to widen my net, I couldn't have him hurting my friends. I did have one major concern about Mimi though.
"My only issue is her ability to keep anything to herself. I love her, but keeping secrets isn't exactly her strength. The likelihood that she tells Izzy, and then Tai finds out, is relativity high." I said.
"Wait, why would Mimi tell Izzy?" Matt asked.
We all stared at him, "Really?" TK broke the silence, shaking his head at his brother's obliviousness.
"Matt, if we have to explain this to you, I really have to question your observation skills," Sora said, smirking.
"Wow, I'm just asking a question guys, I left first remember! What's the deal?" He crossed his arms defensively.
"They've had this weird ... thing going on for years, except they can't manage to be in the same place to actually make anything work, but it's so obvious." He blinked a few times trying to process what TK just said.
"Ok. Weird, but why would Izzy tell Tai?" He relaxed a bit, but I saw the wheels turning in his head, trying to figure out where he missed the signs.
"Izzy and my brother were always really close. There is a part of me that knows Izzy would want to keep a secret because that's what's noble, but he also has a fierce loyalty to Tai," I said.
"I mean, that might be a chance we need to take at this point. I think you need to be proactive here, look how far he's willing to go. I think we need to be prepared for the worst possible outcome," Matt had a point, but my stomach was in knots just thinking about sharing this with anyone else.
"Can I think about it for a few days? I understand where you guys are coming from, and I don't want Michael to mess with any of you, or hurt anyone else either. I just keep waiting for my life to calm down, and it finally felt like it did, but here we are again." I looked down at my torn cuticles, all the picking I'd been doing, tiny, annoying, symptoms of the stress I was dealing with. "Can we get through the next two shows and then I'll make a decision before Miami? She might honestly be down there, we talked a few weeks ago and she said she wanted to come to that show." Matt and Sora seemed like they wanted to keep pressuring me. I understood, Matt had to look out for TK, and Sora felt like she had to look out for all of us.
Thankfully, they all reluctantly agreed to give me time. Matt and TK started packing up their room. Sora, being an angel, had already situated everything for us. We headed down to pack everything on the bus and then went to grab a bite to eat. Things seemed to have settled a bit but Trevor, curiously, didn't show up until we got on the bus later.
He'd been distant the last few days. He hated drama, and maybe he just wanted to stay out of it as much as possible, but it still hurt a bit. I felt like we were close, he understood the damage I felt in a way no one else did, but it also wasn't fair of me to expect him to want to be part of everything going on.
I tried to let it go and focus on the upcoming shows. I laid down as soon as the bus started moving. I was still so tired. I put an eye mask on and tried to drift off, but instead of the shows, it was TK who kept coming to the front of my mind.
We never had a chance to talk about what, almost, happened and I wasn't sure there would be a time we would revisit it now. Maybe it was selfish to even be thinking about us, but being out with him reminded me of why we ended up together in the first place. Our conversations always flowed so easily from one topic to the next. When there was silence it wasn't awkward or uncomfortable. He never looked at me and saw what he hoped I would become, he saw me, for me, and was always perfectly happy with who I was right then. I'd forgotten what it was like to have my guard down with someone, and still, feel safe.
I fumbled around for my phone so I could put on some music, I needed to distract myself, or I was never going to get any sleep. I heard the door that separates our, bunk style, beds from the front of the bus, slide open. I pulled off my mask and saw TK shuffling through his backpack on the bed below mine. He straightened up and met my gaze.
"Sorry if I woke you," He was holding his notebook in his hand.
"It's okay, I was still awake, just trying to find my phone," I continued to prod around.
I saw him reach towards the end of the bed, "S'right here." He handed it to me and leaned against my bed. "Hika." That name again, made my stomach jump just a bit. He looked conflicted.
"Yes?" I pressed him.
He sighed, and I felt my excitement falter a bit. I feared rejection so much, but if it came from him then it was something I deserved. Maybe he couldn't get over the past, or he just couldn't deal with everything happening with Michael. I pulled my knees up to my chest and waited for what was to come.
"I don't know how to do any of this." He turned and crossed his arms over the edge of my bed, leaning his head against them. He looked up at me through his lashes, and I eyed him curiously, "I'm not making any sense." He said, more to himself than to me.
"I want, more than anything, to keep you safe and I'm going to do everything I can to make sure you stay that way. I know that none of this is easy and that the timing is all off, but I also know how much I still care for you. The other night we ... I-I'm not sure where it would have gone. I don't want to push you into something you aren't ready for, and when so much is still happening with Michael. I guess, I just want you to know that I'm not going anywhere." He finished rambling, as his fingers fidgeted with the edge of my blanket, his eyes, downcast and no longer visible.
He'd said a lot, but knowing that he still cared for me, and what that could mean set me at ease in a way I wanted, and needed, more than anything else at the moment.
I reached out and took his hand, "Lay with me?"
He put his book down on his bed and pulled himself up onto mine. There wasn't a lot of room on the small beds, I shifted myself towards the wall of the bus so he had room to lay down. He laid on his side facing me, and as I curled my back against his chest, he put his arm around me and pulled me closer.
"Any sane person would be running for the hills to get away from what's happening to me, but here you are, just as you've always been. You're the only one who's ever been able to convince me a dire situation could still have a silver lining," I felt myself holding back tears as I spoke, but I didn't want to cry anymore. I felt him take my hand, as the warmth from his breath drifted over my shoulder.
"We've seen some of life's darkest moments together and still managed to make it this far. We have to look at more than what we see. We have to look at what's possible," His voice was airy.
He sounded tired and sighed heavily before snuggled in even closer to me. I relaxed against him and closed my eyes. For a moment, I thought about what the others would think when they inevitability found us laying together, but I didn't care what anyone thought anymore, at least not anyone on this bus.
I decided then that I would talk to Mimi. Dealing with Michael wasn't just about me anymore. I had other people I needed to protect. I couldn't let him hurt anyone else, most of all TK. As safe as I felt in this moment, I still had an ever-growing sense of dread that things were only going to get worse before they got any better, and I needed to start taking the situation into my own hands.