Edited 4/18/2021

I don't own Digimon or the song 'Impossible Year,' thats by Panic at the Disco.

"There's no good times
This impossible year
Just a beachfront of bad blood
And a coast that's unclear"

I felt like I was suffocating.

A heavy weight was surrounding me, and when I gasped for air I couldn't breathe deep enough to let any in. There was darkness surrounding me no matter how many times I tried to adjust my eyes. Like the blackness that happens during a new moon, far away from the city, when the clouds hide away any stars that could try to peak through.

As my awareness started to grow I realized I was barefoot, my feet were gripping sand, and there was water washing over them. Did I pass out on the beach? Did we go to the beach today? I tried to search my brain for the last thing I could remember.

I was slowly able to take small shallow breaths. I bent my ridged body down to feel the grit and grain of the earth beneath me, once again the water washed over me.

I heard my name being called from a distance, but it didn't sound like anyone I knew.

"Kari, he's coming." The disembodied voice was unsettling in a way I can't fully describe. It sounded both old and young at the same time, like a child, in a singsong, with the rasp of a person who's lived far past their time.

Still surrounded by the darkness, my eyes finally began to adjust. I saw that I was on a long beach, just sand and ocean for miles, but where were all the hotels?

Miami, we had just gotten to Miami last night, I remembered. All the beaches around here were surrounded by hotels, this didn't make any sense, and everything was grey. Where were the palm trees? Where was-?

The ocean.

It couldn't be, it had been years since I had been pulled back here. It couldn't possibly be real.

"Kari, he's almost here. You left us. He wants you to stay," The voice came again, closer this time.

I looked all around and decided I needed to run, somewhere, anywhere to get away form the ocean. I went to move my feet and was horrified to find out that I was stuck in place, my feet wouldn't budge from the sand, water crashed over me again, harsher this time. It was cold, and felt like knives digging into my skin.

I screamed, but no noise came from my mouth. I tried to yell over and over again. I screamed for TK, Sora, Matt, Trevor, my brother, but not a peep escaped my mouth.

The water came again, crashing against my body, knocking me over into the sand. I tried to get back up but I was completely stuck to the ground now.

"Kari, he's here," The voice was right behind me now, but before I could turn to see what would likely be the death of me, the water crashed over my whole body, pulling me out to sea. I was free from the sand but, wave after wave crashed over my head, and water rushed into my nose and mouth. I fought to reach the top of the water but something was pulling me deeper. My brain was becoming foggy, I was going to drown.

No.

I couldn't stop fighting. I had to get back. I kicked as hard as I could to break free, and I saw a light above the top of the water and crashed through to the night sky.

I sat up in bed breathing heavily, soaked in a cold sweat, with TK sleeping soundly next to me. My heart felt like it would explode out of my chest. A dream, it was just a dream. I hadn't dreamed of the ocean since I was in high school, why now?

I slid out of bed and snuck into the bathroom, closing the door gently behind me to make sure I didn't wake TK. I ran the water and splashed my face a few times to wake up, I was freezing though, and I grabbed a towel and wrapped it around my shoulders before sliding to the floor. I brought my knees to my chest and tried to take deep breaths to calm myself.

Was it just the stress? I've only ever been taken there in my worst times. I felt the dread of something big coming, my intuition was never off, and I never took a dream about the ocean lightly.

I got up, let the towel fall to the floor, and quietly exited the bathroom to fumble around my bag for something to change into. I could see the sun rising from between the curtain panels. I found my discarded yoga pants, a tank top, grabbed my yoga mat, phone, and left our room. Six-forty-five am, my phone screen blinked at me. I ran down the hotel hallway desperate to get away from the room.

The soft breeze brushed against me once I got outside of the hotel. I closed my eyes and tried to take a deep breath, I felt a little less suffocated now that I was outside in the fresh air. I walked around behind the hotel, stopping before I reached the sand from the beach. I hesitated, but after a moment I took off my sandals, and put my feet into the warm sand.

I stayed like that for a moment, reminding myself that I was here, safe, and not in that world of cold, and darkness, I remembered from my childhood. I looked for a flat spot on the beach and headed over to set up my mat. Sitting down, I scrolled through my phone for a relaxing playlist, I hit play and set my phone at the top of my mat.

My hands reached out in front of me, big toes touched, knees wide, and I placed my forehead into the mat. Laying in child's pose I started to deepen my breath. The longer I was able to make my breath, the calmer I became. I was right here. I could breathe. I could feel warmth. See color. Everything was fine.

As I moved through my practice though, the sense of dread stayed in the pit of my stomach, no matter how much I calmed down. The feeling still lingered.

The first thing I remembered that morning was smacking into the floor, hard. I had this anxious feeling in my chest and had the frantic need to find Kari.

I called out to her, but my voice sounded far away. I was still trying to wake up, rubbing my tired eyes, trying to adjust. I stood up, grabbing onto the side of the bed, and saw she wasn't there. I stumbled over to the bathroom and found it as vacant as our bed had been. I didn't see a note anywhere. I tried to think of something logical but all I could think of was the ocean.

With that thought in mind I ran to our balcony and threw the doors open, a little more violently than I meant to. I looked down and saw her, safe and sound, practicing yoga on the beach. Practicing just as she had in the last two cities we visited.

"You okay Dude?" I looked over at the balcony next to mine and saw Colin staring at me, concern covering his face. I must have looked manic the way I ran out there.

"Fine, yea sorry. Just – I," I couldn't think of any excuse for my behavior.

"It's fine man, she ran down the hall like a bat outta hell this morning, you guys have an argument or something?" He prodded.

"No, I just woke up. I haven't even talked with her this morning. You think she's okay?"

"She seems fine. I dunno man. I was already awake when I heard her leaving, it was early though, she's been out there for about two hours." There was concern in his voice.

My eyes traveled back down, she looked peaceful, and calm. I wished I felt the same. I still felt like my heart was beating out of my chest, like waking up from a bad dream, but I didn't remember having one.

"Earth to TK," He was waving his arms, trying to get my attention.

"Huh? Sorry, I spaced."

He wasn't tactful, the look on his face told me that I was, in fact, acting a bit crazy. His eyes studied me for a moment, but then he shrugged, "You, uh, wanna get breakfast or anything?"

I appreciated him letting it go, but I didn't think I could handle food at the moment, "I'm ok for now. I think I'm going to take a shower and try to wake up some more."

"Probably a good idea space cadet, it's not like any of us got much sleep last night, see ya a little later," He teased, as he headed back into his room.

I stole one last look at Kari before heading back in. I went into the bathroom and started the water, and stepped in before the heat had adjusted properly, but the scolding water almost felt good. I had this frigid shiver since I woke up, like I'd been in ice cold water. Something just felt off. I didn't remember the last time I woke up feeling so unsettled.

I tried to rationalize with myself, we were under a lot of stress with the tour itself, plus all the Michael craziness added in. After yesterday though I should feel anything but unsettled. I watched the water disappear down the drain and wished my worries away with it.

I turned the water off and grabbed a towel. Once I was dry, I looked down for my clothes but realized I'd left them out in the room. I secured the towel around my waist just in case she'd come back. It would be fine, I would just grab my clothes and run back in. Except I opened the door to a startled, and red-faced Kari, standing in front of me.

"Ohmygosh, I'm sorry. It was so quiet in there, I didn't realize. I saw Colin and Trev downstairs and assumed you were. I-" A blush crept up her face, she was adorably, mortified.

"It's okay. I'm sorry, I should have shouted out here in case you came back. I just forgot my clothes when I went in. It's my bad," I let out a small, awkward, laugh.

We stood there frozen for a moment before I shook myself away and went to grab something to put on.

"Do you need to get back in there, or?" She started to question.

"Oh sorry, no. I mean, I can change out here, obviously, if you need to get in there."

"M'ok," She muttered.

She was about to shut the door before I stopped her, remembering what Colin said this morning. I gently touched her shoulder and she turned back, "Hey, I saw Colin this morning, he said he heard you running down the hall early. Was everything okay?"

"I-" She started talking but paused, biting her lip, a concerned look crossed her face.

"You can tell me."

She looked up at me and her face darkened again, I stepped back giving us some space realizing I was still in a towel. Jesus, I was an idiot.

"Let me shower first, okay?" She asked.

"Of course, take your time," I headed over to my bed as she disappeared into the bathroom.

I dug through my suitcase and found a plain black t-shirt to throw on, with a pair of grey shorts. I went to put my phone in my pocket but it didn't really fit all that well. I grumbled, about missing my cargo shorts, to no one in particular.

I grabbed my notebook and sat down to try and write for a few minutes before she came out, but right as I was about to start, her phone began to buzz from across the room. I ignored it and after a few seconds it stopped, but I was surprised when it started again after about twenty seconds. I got up to check and see if it was someone in our group but it wasn't a number I recognized. I clicked the side button so the buzzing would stop, I'd let her know to check it once she got out.

I headed back to the table to sit down again, but the buzzing came once more. I got up to check her phone, and again, was greeted with an unknown number. This was getting weird. I was about to call her name, but then I started to see messages flash on her phone, name after name popped up too quickly to keep track of. Suddenly a call came from a number I did recognize, Tai. I hadn't heard her talk to Tai once since I'd been with them. His call ended quickly like he was too impatient to wait for the voicemail, and then I saw his name pop up on what was becoming an endless stream of text messages.

There was suddenly banging on the door, "Guys, open up." It was John. Her phone still buzzed in my hand.

I opened the door to find him looking distressed, "What's wrong?"

He walked in the room without saying anything. "I was just flipping the channels, everyone went to get breakfast, ya know? And so I was just going channel to channel. Fuck!" He pulled out his phone. "It came across the screen and I passed right by it before it even registered, but I went back, and it was her." After everything we had already been through together, I don't think I had ever seen John lose it quite this much.

I grabbed his hands to steady them as he quickly typed on his phone.

"What's happening," I asked, slowly.

He took a breath and scrolled down on his phone before finding what he was looking for. "I don't know how to tell her." He handed me the phone and I almost dropped it out of my hands.

There was Kari, plastered across some sort of tabloid website. The photos looked like they were taken by a hospital, or the police. She was covered in bruises, the colors that marred her body stood out against the blank, white, wall behind her, and her pale skin.

"Michael Keating, budding star or abusive partner?" The headline read. I kept scrolling. "Startling new photos have surfaced of Keating's, ex. girlfriend, Kari Kamiya. The photos, sent in by an anonymous source, are from back when the two were still an official item. They were seen at an event together, just two weeks after the photos were supposedly taken. We've, so far, been unable to reach Kamiya for comment, while Keating's camp is denying the allegations." I stopped reading and looked up at John in shock.

Suddenly I felt my own phone buzzing. I looked down and saw Matt was calling me, "Hello? I-"

He started talking over me, "Someone leaked some photos of Kari, it's bad, there's paparazzi outside. They practicality pounced on us as we were coming back. Hey, get out of my face!" He shouted at someone else before the phone went dead.

John and I looked between each other, and the bathroom door, as it opened to an oblivious Kari. She looked at both of us, seeing our shock, and her face dropped. "What now?"

Before we could answer her we were interrupted, by what I could only assume was my brother banging on the door. John opened it to Matt, Sora, Colin, and Trevor.

"Guys?" Kari said in a shaky voice. "Is everything okay?" She questioned, already knowing the answer was no. "TK … why do you have my phone?"

I looked down and realized it was still in my hand.

"Kari, were there photos? You said, he once sent you to the hospital?" Colin asked, bluntly.

She looked so startled then, "Yea, I almost reported him once but I – I got scared at the last minute and declined to press charges." She looked between all of us before her eyes landed on mine, the ones she knew couldn't betray her. "How did you know about that?" I could see her visibly shaking, "TK, what's happening?"

"Someone released the photos, Kari," Matt said before I had a chance to speak.

"No," She choked out. "No, no, no, no," She backed up against the wall, sliding down to the floor, holding back a sob, "Why, why is this happening," she was speaking barely above a whisper.

I moved towards her, slowly kneeling down, and reaching out. She let me gently pull her into my lap, she grabbed onto my shirt and buried her head against my neck, and I could feel her tears falling against my skin. I wrapped my arms around her, staring desperately up at my brother, totally lost on what to do.

"He wouldn't do this guys. This is like, possibly career-ending for him," Colin had a point.

Everything up until now had been Michael coming at her, but this, as horrifying as it was for her, it was also a blatant shot at him.

I felt her start to calm and her breathing became more even. She released her hold on me, and pulled back wiping her face as she did. "Show me," She didn't ask. She was telling us.

John handed her his phone. Her eyes widened as they glanced across the screen. She looked up at me like she was going to speak, but her phone went off in my palm again.

"It's been buzzing since you got in the shower," I said, before handing it to her.

She looked at it for a moment, scrolling through the slew of messages she was receiving before it started buzzing in her hand again. She looked like she was about to answer it, but instead, she pressed the side button down and her screen suddenly went black.

"We have another problem. There's paparazzi outside the hotel, they must have gotten wind we were staying here," Sora added.

Matt's phone buzzed, he looked relieved at whatever the message was, "I think I found a solution to that problem."

Everyone in the room waited patiently for him to continue, he typed away on his phone for a few seconds before he noticed we were all staring at him.

"Everyone pack your things, and be ready to be out of here in a half-hour," Matt suddenly left, dragging Sora behind him.

Colin and Trevor followed them silently. John stayed, he walked over to Kari and pulled her up and into a hug, she looked like a child in his arms. He pulled back, towering over her, and left without a word.

"Tai was calling," Her voice cut through the silence. She moved to start packing, throwing things haphazardly into her luggage. "Tai was calling when I turned my phone off. He hasn't called in months. Everyone knows."

I didn't know what to say, because there was nothing I could say to make things better. I'd just be talking to talk, to try and make it okay, and I didn't think that would help right now. Me being hopelessly optimistic didn't seem like an option when all I felt was dread.

"Your phone is lighting up now," she said, quietly, pointing to the desk my phone sat on.

I picked it up to see Tai was messaging me now.

"Are you with my sister?

Is what they are saying true?

No one will respond to me.

Please?

Why won't anyone answer their DAMN phones!"

"Kari, he's worried," I said, letting her know it was her brother trying to reach me, without going into the messages.

"TK who would do this?" She ignored me, airing the question again.

"Money maybe? I would assume they were worth something. Colin is right, it could be career-ending for him, so it doesn't make sense that it would be him," As horrible as this was for her, maybe it would actually get him off her back.

"I mean, men in Hollywood have survived worse allegations and kept their careers." Her voice wavered, and cracked, her eyes glossed over again.

"Come here," I pulled her into my arms and lead her onto our bed.

"I feel like it's never going to end. He's going to come after me for this. He's going to think it was me."

"I won't let him get to you, we are going to fight this, remember? We will talk to Mimi," I tried to soothe her fears, but she shook her head into my chest.

"He has an entire press camp to deal with this, and all I have is my word, which is essentially worthless," She pulled back from me. "We need to get our things packed. I don't know what your brother has planned, but I just want to get out of here, and away from what I assume is a mob of press waiting for us downstairs."

She pulled herself out of my arms and quickly finished packing.

There was a knock on our door as she zipped up my backpack and handed it to me. I grabbed my notebook and slid it into the front pocket. She started heading for the door but I reached out for her arm to stop her, "Be right there," I shouted to the other side.

She tilted her head, curious. I bent down, and kissed her quickly, "We will figure it out together, okay? If I'm here, you aren't alone." I didn't want her to withdraw from us. I knew her. I knew how she would try to handle everything on her own.

"If he tries to hurt you-" She started, but I shook my head.

"Let's just get through this okay? I don't think he's going to be worried about me right now."

"Guys we gotta jet," Matt said, impatiently, from the other side of the door.

We grabbed our things and opened the door to everyone except for Colin.

"Come on," Matt said, as we headed for the elevator, but he passed by it and I realized we were taking the stairs.

"Where is Colin?"

Matt smirked back towards us, "Distraction, he will catch up later."

"We have a show tomorrow night. You guys should totally try to make it," I snickered at the photographers as they tried to look over my head, waiting to get some sort of photo, or reaction, from Kari, who would not be exiting this door.

"Do you have anything to say about the photos?" One of them asked me.

"Which photos?" I asked, mockingly. Before he could ask anything else I started talking again. "I'm telling you, we have a show tomorrow and I'm sure you could get some great photos then."

They looked pissed, one walked away while some of the others continued asking the same questions over, and over. 'Was it true? Where the images fake? Would Kari be coming out?' She was coming out alright, coming out the back of the hotel with the others. They were getting bored with me though, and I couldn't have them snooping around and catching them.

Think. THINK.

"Is Kari currently seeing any of your band members?" One of the scumbags shouted, over one of the other scumbags, and I thanked them in my head for the opening.

"No, not in the band?" I replied, casually leaning against the wall.

"What about the brother of your lead singer? He's seen with her quite often," Scum number two, yelled.

"Now that is an interesting question, define 'together'," I made air quotes with my hands.

This got their attention. Now they were all yelling over each other. I looked down as my phone vibrated in my hand. "Gone, get out of there when you can." I read Matt's message, while I cheesed for the cameras.

"Sorry everyone, it appears I'm needed inside," I threw up my hand to wave, and headed back into the hotel feeling proud of myself. The best way to distract from a rumor was to create another one! I headed up to my room, checked to make sure we hadn't forgotten anything, and threw on my hoodie. I waited about a half-hour before going out one of the side entrances, no one was really looking for me so I was able to walk away pretty undetected. It looked like the photographers had switched out, there were new people standing around waiting.

As I headed down the beach I thought about our situation. I always wanted to be famous, growing up I thought it seemed like the best possible life. I'd get to be a musician, have tons of money, girls, and everyone would know my name. I never acknowledged the other side of it. This ugly side of your life belonging to everyone else. Every word, and move you made, was endlessly analyzed. Maybe Daft Punk had it right with the helmets, no one ever bothered them.

I headed off the beach, and rounded the corner, searching for the address Matt told me to wait at. I saw the name of the restaurant I needed, but before I could walk in I heard my name being called. I looked around and saw John in a black sedan waving me over. I got in and relaxed while we drove to this Mimi girl's place, wondering what she would be like, and if she'd be single?