"I don't wanna care tonight, I don't wanna fight."
-Meet Me in the Pale Moonlight, Lana Del Rey
I could still remember the first time I met Jacob Black. There was this party at a friend's apartment where she was always throwing almost every freaking night. Alice was so loaded and wild and her party was nothing if drugs weren't involved because she herself was a hard-line junkie. We didn't exclusively friends or something like that. Damn, perhaps our friendship was limited to acknowledging each other. Long story short, I came at the party where Jacob was the supplier.
Since the very beginning, we knew our relationship was mostly physical. It wasn't love but it wasn't like we were fucking buddies and all. Our relationship was comfortable and we cared for each other. Deeply. Hell, I even thought he was my hero and everything because he had pulled me out of that wild wasted life that I was once drowned in. For a depressed runaway and happiness seeker like me, his presence gave me kind of positive vibes. Like, when everybody quit, he came and stayed.
Well, I knew he was bad news. I knew for most people he was nightmare because he trapped their sons and daughters to the wicked cycle, feeding them to create illusion in their minds, and worst, probably overdosing them. I was aware of the bad influences he was carrying and spreading, but trust me, when he was with me he seemed like a total different person. He cured my addiction, teaching me how to control it. Hell, as unbelievable as it might sound, I was drug-free six months later.
So yeah, that was the kind of relationship we had. We respected and cared for each other.
That was why I couldn't accept the fact that he was putting me in this situation. I was his companion for two years, for fucks sake. This shit didn't make sense at all. I mean, why? Why he had to do this?
I was asleep thinking about his reasons hours after Edward got out of the room and left me alone. I didn't know how long time had passed, but the moment I woke up was because someone's knocking on the door. I was scared, thinking it was Edward. But it wasn't. This man was younger and he said his name was Paul. He brought a tray of food and a piece of big-sized flannel shirt. When he knew I wanted nothing to do with it, he told me that it was all Edward's order. There was a slight fear in his eyes at the mention of his name. And they were begging me silently to follow it. Because his life was at stake too if he couldn't make me do what his boss wanted.
I hated that I pitied Paul. I hated that everyone seemed afraid of Edward.
I take a shower at the adjoined bathroom then changed my clothes into an oversized flannel shirt that fell around my knees. The food was already cold, but I ate it anyway. I didn't realize how hungry I was until I saw the empty tray.
Sometime later, I didn't know if it was already night or evening or even morning because there was no window or clock here, the handle of the door moved. Paul would have knocked if he entered the room. I knew this was Edward. I had anticipated his arrival. What I didn't anticipate was the big grin on his face.
Someone was in the good mood.
"Well, hello, bellissima." Those eyes were twinkled in amusement. And I couldn't help but feeling the goosebumps at the back of my neck. This was a bad sign. "How are you today?"
I didn't know how to answer his question.
He made his way to me in steady strides before setting himself on the coffee table. The gesture was nothing but relaxed, but still, there was something intimidating in him that was too noticeable to ignore. I shifted uncomfortably on the couch, nervous as hell. Yeah, how could I not?
He smirked, enjoying the sight.
"I got you a present."
Believe me, it didn't sound like good news at all.
Damn, the cheerful tone in his voice obviously didn't suit him. And it made me more suspicious about what he was planning.
"Aren't you curious?" he inquired, raising an eyebrow.
My answer was immediate, but full of disinterest. "I am."
He chuckled.
"Yeah, I can feel your curiosity." It was sarcastic but the humor was there. I clenched and unclenched my hand, trying to shake off the slight tremor.
Those emeralds were on me the whole time as his hand dug into his pants pocket. Only to reveal a small pill bottle.
My eyes widened in recognition. Was it what I was thinking it was?
When I made no move to do anything with said present, he opened the cap and poured one on his palm.
Right, I knew that tablet everywhere.
I knew the variance from a to z. I knew how long it would take to reach the peak. I knew the best stuff to combine it with to get the perfect high. I knew every bit of information of this stuff because it was once my favorite. And I knew its effects, the main reason it was created at the first place. The pleasure it would give.
"How do you want to take it?" he inquired, pulling me out of my own thoughts. I shifted my focus to him, still trying to figure out his motive.
"I won't." I didn't know where the hell I got the nerve to say those two words. It wasn't like I regretted it, but how his expression changed into the dangerous one got me all tense up. Those piercing emeralds warned me. With one look, I knew I had no choice. He gave no room to argue. No one dared to face the risks of saying no to him.
He killed the distance by one smooth move. The next thing I knew was his face was mere inches from mine I could even feel his minty breaths on my skin. "Why do you always like to make angry, bellissima?" he said through his teeth.
"What do you want from me?" I replied with the shaky voice and left courage. His eyes were burning me with green flames, holding me hostage at the same time. And I knew right away, I would be dead here. In every possible way.
That grin reappeared. Only now it was wicked and less playful. "You know exactly what I want." He grabbed my chin, forcing me to look him in the eye while his other hand brought that illegal pill to my closed-tight lips. The man chuckled darkly. "Always choose the painful way one, aren't you?"
His fingers crept down to neck, encircling it loosely, but of course, my nervousness didn't fade at all. It was like my body was all alarmed. Because only God knows when exactly he would strike. "You're only wasting your energy, sweetheart." He whispered, while slowly putting some pressure on my neck, pushing me down at the same time.
I wanted to cry.
Because somehow I knew he would win in the end and all this fight seemed so useless.
My mouth was automatically open as soon as he choked me, and he used that opportunity to pop the drug into my mouth and make me swallow it. Then he let me go, looking so satisfied with himself.
It didn't take long for the drug to have the effect in my system. In short minutes, I could feel the tingly sensation at my stomach. And I knew I would possibly zone out very soon.
Edward was saying something but I couldn't keep up with his words. It was like his mouth moved so fast and my mind was unfocused.
His fingers caressed my cheek just barely, but the touches felt so intense in my head. They burned and set me on fire. And I couldn't help but enjoying it.
He laughed. It sounded surprisingly melodic and beautiful. Like an angel's voice. His psychotic attitude was completely vanished. He suddenly changed into a charming gentleman in my eyes and I couldn't do anything about it. All I cared about right now was feeling good and happy.
The tip of his fingers traced down to my neck, teasing at the collar of my shirt and unlatching all the buttons one by one. I didn't stop him. I didn't even complain. My mind and body gave in. As if there was some pseudo emotional closeness between us. Like, we actually knew each other for a long time.
"Beautiful." He whispered huskily, staring down at my exposed body shamelessly. I should be embarrassed. I should at least cover it. But I didn't. I just lied here, looking at him exploring my body like it intrigued me.
The back of his hand grazed my inner thigh in circle motion, building up my desire. Then he slowly dragged it up to my core and I could feel my insides burst right away. This was all too good.
He smirked smugly before flipping me over, taking off the rest of my clothes in the process. The couch felt so rough against my naked front and I couldn't deny but feeling aroused as soon as he gathered my hair in one hand to kiss the spot on my neck.
"Do you want me to stop?" he murmured against my skin, tickling me with his hot breath. I didn't know why I couldn't even answer that simple question. It was so obvious I should say yes or at least nod because this was so wrong. He shouldn't touch me like he did. He shouldn't continue whatever he was about to do to me. But I couldn't find my voice. And he didn't seem to care about my inner battle.
He grabbed my waist, pulling me to my knees, and suddenly I could feel his bare hardness against my ass. He then maneuvered it lower, down to my wet core, rubbing it between my folds before entering me agonizingly slow, just about the head, giving me time to adjust his size. But after that he pushed deep and hard in one stroke, splitting me into two. I totally forgot about our situation and cried out in ecstasy.
He fucked me hard and rough and I hated that I liked every bit of it. The sound of my ass slapping his thighs and our moans filled the room. It was pure pleasure, but that small little drug intensified the feeling. I begged for his mercy and he kept commenting how tight I felt around him.
"Edward, please." I writhed beneath him as the pleasure became too much to bear.
"Fuck." He grunted hoarsely, increasing the pace. In and out. In and out. I couldn't breathe as he went faster.
This was enough to send me off the edge. My legs trembled uncontrollably and my inner muscles contracted as I came hard. He didn't stop, though. He was riding my orgasms, making me fly higher and fall faster. I came and came again. My knees would probably collapse if it was not for his hold on my waist. Our bodies were bathed by sweats and I could feel the exhaustion start to taking over me.
Then I lost consciousness at the same time he reached his orgasms.