"Darker than the ocean, deeper than the sea. You've got everything, you got what I need."

—Alina Baraz

The sudden bright harsh light woke me up from my sleep. I groaned and blinked. Cursing at whoever dared to draw the curtain. God, I felt like shit. And my head was aching because of the weed the night before.

It was all Hailey and her ways to persuade me.

I rubbed my face and sat up, nearly screaming in the process as I found him here.

Edward was sitting on the edge of the bed in that designer navy suit like nobody's business. Those green eyes were piercing through my bare soul. Cold yet sad. Worried but angry. So, I fought fire with fire. We let the rage clouding the unspoken yearning between us.

"Fun night, huh?" he gritted his teeth. As if I shouldn't be. As if I should be home waiting for him and drowning in misery.

Fuck him.

I kept my cool, smiling sweetly.

"Rough night?" I replied, glancing at his crumpled clothes and tired sleepless face. He didn't look any better than me to be honest.

"Yeah, because I came home and you were not there." He hissed, inching closer. My response was leaning back as far as I could, but he snatched my waist, holding me in his arms.

It felt like home.

His lips were firm against the side of my head and his hold tightened around me as though he was afraid to let go. I just breathed in his scent and listened to the thumping beat of his heart silently.

For a moment, we forgot and forgave.

But of course, I had to ruin it.

"Where have you been?" I asked finally. This thing had bugged me for days. I wanted answers. And I had the right to know.

He didn't like my question, though.

"Taking care of some shit." He replied quickly, wasn't ready for another fight. But I wasn't ready to give up either.

"Tell me." I demanded, looking up to his face.

"I can't."

He was so stubborn, but I was too.

"Why?"

"Bella." It was a warning. His tone begged me to stop and let this go already.

But I didn't back off.

"Why did you not call? I was so worried, Edward." I told him. Because I needed him to know that I cared. That he could trust me.

"I'm fine now, alright?"

That wasn't the point.

"You make me feel like I'm not good enough." I said, pushing him away. It was tiring to have this conversation with him.

He laughed humorlessly.

"You have no idea."

I ignored him.

"I've met Rose." I said. It was intentional and calculated. But this man was super calm, hiding his surprise deep inside. My eyes were watching his expression from time to time. "I think she hates me." I added, only to get his reaction.

"She hates everyone." He rolled his eyes. Like he had known her for so long. I couldn't help but feeling a twinge of jealousy in the pit of my stomach.

"What happened between you two?" I inquired. It even sounded possessive in my own ears, but I didn't care. I was going to be insane if he didn't tell me soon. My mind just couldn't stop thinking about it. He didn't replied right away so I encouraged myself to continue. "Is she…is she your ex-wife?"

He heard me right because all of a sudden those emeralds darkened. His jaw stiffened and his body was shaken of anger and other emotions. He looked like he restrained himself from grabbing his gun and killing me already.

"Stop it." His voice was low and made me shiver. Yet I pushed further.

"You still love her, don't you?" it came out shaky and unsure. But he had enough.

"I said stop, Bella!" he snapped. His hands pinned me down to the bed. Face was red of fury and his grip on my arms tightened.

My mouth was dry and my heart was hurt.

It was true, then.

He still loved her.

We heard the door being opened and Hailey's head poked in. "Breakfast is ready!" she announced, grinning and oblivious at the tension. I wanted to thank her. Because now I had the reason to get away from him.

He released me. Just watching silently as I walked out

I washed my face in the first floor bathroom before joining Jamie and Hailey for breakfast in the patio beside the pool. The sun was shining so bright today and I hated that I didn't have my sunglasses.

Jamie was smiling when I took a seat. He was puffing his cig already.

"You told him I am here?" I asked, didn't bother to say greetings.

He shrugged, but those crystal blues were amused.

"He asked."

I didn't say anything after that. And they didn't take my silence as a strange thing. Or maybe they did, but just let it go. I ate my food and drank a lot of water—feeling dehydrated somehow, watching the calming ocean then diverted my gaze to the cleaning staffs that clearing up the mess from last night party.

Hailey and Jamie talked about something I didn't understand, mostly new stuffs, as they called it, this guy and that girl, parties, nothing worth my attention.

I was just enjoying the summer breeze, the sound of the waves, and the scenery before me.

When Paul walked by the sitting room inside, it didn't take much for Hailey to leave us and approach him. Sometimes I wondered what her true feeling was. Was she being serious or just teasing?

"What's with the mood?" Jamie asked as soon as we were left alone, eyebrow quirked quizzically.

"What about it?"

"You look like you have a bad day already, and it's only nine in the morning." He stubbed out his cig in the ashtray, arms crossing over his chest. "What is it? Is it Edward?"

I decided to ask him instead.

"Will you tell me who Rose is?"

He tilted his head, reading my expression. "Why do you want to know?"

Because this shit had driven me crazy, that was why.

"Is she his ex-wife?"

The playfulness in him was gone instantly. And it was like the atmosphere changed whenever this subject was brought up.

"You should ask him."

"Please, tell me." I slightly begged, grabbing his hand before he could get up from his chair.

I was almost sure he wouldn't answer when he exhaled deeply then said. "No. She isn't."

I was taking a nap on the pool chair when suddenly someone nudged my foot. I opened my eyes, pushing my aviators onto my head, only to find Jamie sitting on the other side of the pool chair. His Hawaiian shirt was unbuttoned and his curls were wild and lighter. The beach boy was just back from the adventure while I chose to chill in the house all day.

"Where's Hails?" he asked, yet didn't seem to care at the same time.

"Out." I adjusted my bikini top while he was busy rolling his weed masterly.

"With Paul?" he offered me one when he was finished, but I declined. So he put the joint between his lips instead and lit it. Taking a deep drag before blowing out the smoke in the air.

"I don't know." I shrugged. "She only said something about coming back before dinner."

He wasn't listening, though.

His gaze wandered through the glass wall behind. To the figure inside the room. Those footsteps echoed in the silence. And I knew it was Edward before he came into the view, stopping by the sliding glass door.

"I'm going home. You come in?" it was obvious that he was upset with the sight of us.

"I'll drive her tomorrow." Jamie replied even though the question was for me. Actually, I was kinda surprised of the heavy tension between them. This thing was a bit unusual. But again, maybe these two were just not in a good mood.

"No." His tone was final. But I didn't think Jamie would listen to him, though.

Before the hell did break loose, I got up.

"It's okay. I gotta go anyway."

Jamie sighed deeply, focusing his attention back to the joint in hand.

Edward dropped me off at the house, then driving away to somewhere he didn't bother to tell. He was silent, always keeping his mind to himself. No word or at least half-assed goodbye. Nothing. It was too much for me. The big gap between us was visible and clear. But the man didn't seem to care at all.

At night I was restless. My mind couldn't control its racing thoughts. And my brain couldn't let my eyes close. So I got up from the bed and wandered in the hallway. At two in the morning.

I stopped at the top of the stairs and sat there. It was an hour later before I finally heard his car being pulled up in the driveway. It was deafening as he was making his way inside. I straightened my spine the moment he climbed up the stairs, unaware of my presence until he was only a couple of steps away.

He looked distracted, yet covered it with a smirk. I wanted to say I missed him, but I didn't.

"Can't sleep?" his eyebrow arched, hand was stretched out which I took momentarily. The scent of smoke and blood were all over him as we stood close. His daily nighttime routine. Dangerous dirty activities I despised so much.

"Where were you going?" I asked him instead. Usual question that he was never gonna answer.

But this man surprised me with that evil smile. "Want me to tell you or show you?"

Was he being serious or not?

"Both." I tried.

His smile then became deadly. "Greedy." He said, yet linking his hand into mine.

I let him lead the way. Passing the bedroom door and opening one in the corner of the hallway. He stepped aside and let me walk first. I did, taking a sight of the room before me.

This was his office. And it was the first time he brought me here.

I looked around, amazed at how spotless and tidy this room was. The dark-themed furniture was completely him. And the painting on the wall looked too personal. I imagined him sitting on that leather office chair, drinking scotch while managing his crime organization at the same time.

"Remember how you could end up here?" he asked all of a sudden, making me turn to him. He was leaning against his desk, twirling the unlit cigarette idly between his fingers.

"Yes." I said. That question brought a lot of memories I didn't want to recall.

"Well, apparently, your beloved boyfriend died only to add more fucking problems." He rolled his eyes. No remorse or guilt. The man talked about death like he talked about the weather. So casual and lack of concern. "Why the fuck did you try to save him anyway?" anger flashed his eyes for a second.

"I didn't." I said, matter-of-factly.

"Yet you couldn't kill him." He scoffed.

"What's the point? You killed him in the end." I bit back. He laughed, satisfied because he got my reaction. It sounded sinister and devilish.

"Oh, are you mad, baby? Do you still love him?" he sneered. I wanted to smack his face for being such an obnoxious asshole.

"No. Of course not." I replied right away despite myself. But it was one hundred percent true. I didn't feel anything about it anymore.

He smirked then, beckoning me to come closer. So I slowly made my way to him, closing the distance between us.

His fingertips brushed my chin as those greens looked into my eyes. Those emeralds trapped me under his intense gaze I couldn't look away. With him being this near was enough to mess with my fucked-up brain. I was already addicted to him long before I realized it. "I miss you, but you drive me crazy." He confessed, pressing his lips against mine. But before I could respond, he shut me with a long, hard kiss. A pure bliss. Paradise and hell mixed together. Always left me wanting for more, but burning me at the same time. Same effect every time we touched.

His hand was on the back of my neck, angling my head to him so he could kiss me the way he wanted. I welcomed it, wrapping my arms around his neck to draw him closer. Our lips were moving as we deepened the kiss. It was perfect. Too perfect to be real. His gangster boy personality vanished and for a brief minute he just put down all the burdens from his shoulders. Leaving all of the bullshits behind and stepping out of the pressure, ready to unveil his dark secrets. And in this moment, I enjoyed him being an ordinary man.

I broke the kiss because I was out of breath. Or because I wanted to block my wishful thinking. He buried his face in the nape of my neck and inhaled deeply. Both hands caressing my ass under his pajamas top I was wearing.

"You've caused me a lot trouble, bellissima." He whispered, running his nose along my neck, sending shivers on my skin.

"Like what?" I gulped.

"Well, for example, the girl you chose over that shitty boyfriend of yours, whose abdomen you put the bullet into, turned out to be Alvarrez's precious daughter and now his gang is seeking revenge and thinking my organization can be destroyed in one night." He scolded, taking a step back and drawing his gaze elsewhere as if he was remembering something annoying.

"I don't understand." I admitted.

"From what my men gathered, Black was stealing for them. Alvarrez." He explained, both hands gripping the edge of the desk. "That shit is what keeps me occupied for days now. And the only reason I didn't come back to Florida on Monday was because I had to visit my fellow Mexicans to strengthen my alliance. Alvarrez and his ridiculous gang are kinda building an army now."

"I don't see why it's so hard for you to tell me about all of this." I said after my brain processed everything.

That sinister smile again.

"Easy. Because it's none of your fucking business." He replied, blatantly honest. It didn't make it less hurt, though. "In case you don't know, my organization and what's going on inside it are not some public discussion. We don't tell because we need to be careful. Because we don't know who's going to stab us in the back next. Besides, you're an outsider, bellissima. What do you expect?"

That word made me angry. Outsider, he said. So that was what he was thinking of me?

"Right." I said, turning around and ready to storm off. But he grasped the hem of my pajama and yanked me back to him.

"Don't think you can leave after you kissed me like that." He chuckled darkly, wrapping his arms around me.

"I can do whatever I want." I snapped, squirming in his hold, but the efforts seemed useless.

He turned us around so my front was now against the desk. Then whispering in my ear. "And what do you want right now?"

I couldn't find my voice because slowly his hand was snaking down to my thigh, deliberately bypassing the wet core that was begging to be touched.

He hummed, enjoying the fact that I was breathing hard because his palm running up and down my inner thigh but never high enough to reach my soaked pussy.

God, I wanted him. I wanted him so much.

"Edward…" I whined, because fuck it. I missed his touch.

His teasing game stopped. And I wondered instantly what was on his mind as he untangled himself from me and took a step back.

"Strip off and bend down, baby."

Hello guys! Thank you again for your patience and support and reviews! Love you :)

Alina Baraz is my muse ;)