"We won't survive. We're sinking into the sand."—Lana

Three days later, Edward looked like that shot never happened. He was back to his office, dealing with the works he had left. To say I was amazed would be an understatement. He made me regret to worry about him when he was so casual about it. His daily life had returned. And all I could do was just watching from the outside of the circle.

Everything was back to normal. Well, as normal as we could get.

He carried on, but I was stuck in that moment. Realizing that I was fucked for the feeling I had for him. And I bet he was fucked too. Because there was no going back right now.

In the end, we were just two lonely souls that accidentally collided.

Like no other nights before, I was getting ready to sleep at ten. I was climbing to the bed when Edward entered our room. It was so silent. And I couldn't describe the look he gave me. His eyes were serene, but there was storm hidden somewhere. A determination. It was like quitting yet setting a fresh start at the same time.

He stood beside the bed. Hands deep in his pockets. And for the fucking first time, I saw an unmistakable sorrow in those greens. As though they had been holding too much—emotional—pain since forever. Now that he let me see, he made sure to unveil everything with that stare alone.

"I want to show you something." He said. From his tone, I knew it was something serious.

I didn't know what to expect, but I got up as he turned around, following quietly behind in my sleepwear.

He didn't say anything after that. Just leading us upstairs to the third floor. A place where I had never been before.

We were walking down the hall. Almost side by side because I kinda held onto his elbow. There was something about the atmosphere that didn't feel quite right. It wasn't scary or whatsoever. It was just…a bit uncomfortable. And I didn't know why.

We stopped in front of the closed door. Edward gazed straight ahead as if he could look through it. His jaw stiffened. And it seemed like he was memorizing something painful. His usual piercing eyes were now kinda empty. Again, I couldn't figure out why.

"Behind this door is the truth. That I think you need to know." He said to the silence.

His seriousness made me nervous.

And I hated that his smile looked so depressed.

I touched the back of his hand. Wanting to know yet not at all. The secrets that he wasn't too sure he was ready to reveal.

He finally opened the door and stepped aside to let me come in first. I hesitated, but I walked into the room anyway.

There were so many stuffs here I didn't know what to look first. The room was huge, but it was covered by dust and kind of abandoned.

I got a bad vibe immediately. Still, my feet couldn't stop to move further. Eyes searching, wandering around. Even though I didn't know what I was looking for.

There was a bed in the corner completed with its pastel cover sets. Tables, chairs, sofa. Boxes everywhere. This room definitely belonged to someone. Or used to.

I walked over to the bedside table and something caught my eyes right away.

A picture in a silver frame.

I picked it up so I could look more closely.

It was a little girl, smiling perfectly to the camera with that loose hair and white dress. So adorable and beautiful. I was instantly mesmerized and it was just a picture.

"She was beautiful, wasn't she?" he said from behind me as if he could read my mind.

I spun around and was met with those miserable eyes again. He looked like he couldn't bear to be here.

The silence was maddening. But I waited patiently for him to say anything. To explain anything.

His face hardened and his cold expression resurfaced. The greens held too much hatred, shading the sadness. It was scary.

"She was my daughter." He told in one breath while I wasn't ready.

His words shocked the hell out of me. The picture that I held almost slipped out of my hand.

It was silent all over again, but we couldn't look away from each other. He was waiting for me to regain my composure and I was waiting for him to tell me more.

He bent to take something out of the box. Another picture.

He handed it to me.

Now there was one more person in the picture. A woman. An adult version of the girl. They were standing side by side, holding hands. They both looked so alike. From the color of their hair to the way they smiled. The little girl was an identical copy of her. The woman was undoubtedly the mom. His wife.

I didn't know how to react right now. The information, it was too much to take. The secrets. The revelation. I barely handled it.

"What happened?" I whispered. It was the question that soon I realized the answer. And I regretted I ever asked.

His smile did break me. But his next words killed me. "They died. Five years ago." He spoke before adding harshly. "I watched them die with my own fucking eyes, Bella." I swayed. Almost losing my footing.

It hurt so badly, watching him dealing with so much pain all this time.

I reached out. Wrapping my arms around his middle because I needed him close.

He cried in silence. And I cried with him too.

"I killed the fucker. I killed his wife and his children. His parents. His brother. His sister. I killed his entire family." He paused, hugging me tighter and catching his breath because of the emotions. "But you know what? It was useless. I couldn't bring them back. Nothing could bring them back."

He was a mess. After his breakdown and the recall of his worst memories, he was hot and cold. Sometimes he would hold me close and tight all night, but then distancing himself from me in the morning. Confusing, but I understood. He needed time. And five years weren't enough to cope with the loss.

Still, his attitude was kinda frustrating. I felt bad for his men becoming his punching bag. His anger was terrifying. The only one who could level him was Jamie. When they met, the house was on fire. These two were constantly fighting over something.

This was one of those moments. Here came the yelling again. From the sitting room inside.

"I need you to be alerted, J. And for fucks sake, watch your fucking back!"

I and Hailey pretended we didn't hear anything. It was easier if we just ignored them. At least, it would be less messy.

"What the fuck? It's your job to get things smooth with the cops. And it's not my fucking fault that you fail such an easy task."

"Don't fucking blame me. You're just too damn careless!"

"We paid them a shit ton of money, Edward. I can be careless as long as I want. They shouldn't be anywhere near my ass!"

"Not all those fuckers can be bought, Jamie. Some still have the fucking moral." He spat.

"Yeah, of course." He replied cynically.

"Just stay lowkey for awhile."

"I know what I should do." He muttered.

"Oh, I'm surprised."

"What the hell is wrong with you? Your mood has been so shitty lately."

Hailey glanced at me almost immediately with a smirk on her lips.

"How can I not? You all fucked up."

I imagined Jamie rolling his eyes.

"Bullshit." He replied. "Tell me. Is it about her?"

Now I was really listening.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Definitely her." Jamie concluded. "What now? What did she do?"

"Shut up."

Edward obviously didn't want to talk about it.

"You know what, if you can't handle her, just let her go."

"Like hell."

Since that day, Edward busied himself with works. Both the illegal and legal ones. He went to Miami to do his business for the weekend while I was left alone with no distraction.

So, on Saturday night I decided to go to Midnight Sun. With Paul, of course.

We arrived at ten. I climbed out of the Rover and was quickly ushered to the VIP entry, earning some envious glances from people. As soon as I was in, I went straight to the bar and ordered a drink. Something strong. Paul looked like he wanted to complain, but in the end decided to keep his mouth shut.

Contrast to the luxury around me, I was honestly wearing nothing fancy. Just highwaisted jeans and cropped top. That was why people kept giving me stink eye. They thought I didn't belong here. Well, ironically, they were right.

I sat on the bar for an hour, just enjoying the ambience of the club when the owner himself came down to greet me. I wasn't surprised. News spread fast.

"Ah, to what do I owe the pleasure of this visit, principessa?"

Jamie. He was leaning against the bar not far from my stool.

I smiled. Because I was already on my second drink.

"Just want to see the famous place in town."

He smirked. "Pretty boring, isn't it?"

"Unlike Black Moon, the first impression isn't that bad." I replied, emptying the liquid in my glass.

"Is that a compliment?" I shrugged. He offered his hand for me to take. "Come on. I'll show you around."

I got up from my seat and followed him to the second floor. He brought me to the lounge that was less crowded. We sat there across from each other while Paul chose a place nowhere near us.

"Your watchdog for the weekend?" he asked, gesturing to Paul.

"Apparently."

"Won't stop me from kidnapping you." He winked. I laughed. "Well, you can't fool me with that laugh. What's wrong?"

"Can I have my drink first?" I tried to dodge the question.

"Boring choice." He sneered. "Let's just smoke, then."

And by he meant smoke, we all knew it was weed.

"No. I'm not touching that stuff."

"For fucks sake, don't call my babies stuff. It's just disrespectful."

I rolled my eyes. "Of course. My apology."

He ignored my sarcasm.

"What do you want? I have molly, crack, percocet, meth. Name it."

"Always so persistent." I commented.

That signature smirk again. "Come on, B. Have fun a little."

"Do you know I was an addict once?" I asked out of the blue, surprising myself with the confession.

"Of course. I read all about your background."

"So?"

"Oh, don't be dramatic. I won't let you die." He took out a bottle of pills from his front jacket and put it on the table between us. Was he crazy? Did he really carry it everywhere?

"I'm not touching it."

He lifted an eyebrow. "Your loss."

Jamie called the waitress and soon our drinks were served. Scotch for him and gin and tonic for me.

I sipped my drink as he just sat there, watching me. Waiting.

"Edward. He told me everything." I blurted out. "About his…wife and daughter."

His face quickly lost the traces of humor.

"So you gain his trust." He said.

I nodded. "Finally."

His expression turned dead serious. "Don't fuck it up."

"I won't." I assured him.

"Good." He lifted his glass to his mouth and gulped down his scotch. It was silent for a moment before he continued. "He hardly tolerates an outsider, B. Let alone trust. So yeah, I think it's official now. You are really part of the family."

He was right. It was a sign that Edward trusted me. That I was approved in the family. Yet ironically, our relationship was like taking three or five steps backward. He was distancing himself from me again.

"I don't know he has been through so much." I shook my head in disbelief. It was scary how life could be so unfair.

"Dark days."

"What happened, actually? I mean…how?"

"They were kidnapped. It was just…so fucking awful." Anger in his voice. And I realized I was opening old wounds. "It was the worst day in our lives. We're still mourning." His jaw hardened at the memory. "I mean, Alissa was just five at that time for God's sake. What the hell was that sick fucker thinking when he shot her? My niece was as pure as an angel."

"And Edward had to…"

"Witness it, yes." He added the words for me. "It tortured him for years. And still do. He is the strongest person I know."

"It was so inhuman." I said.

"Well, humanity is extinct, Bella." He replied like it was obvious before glancing down at his Rolex. "It's late. You should go home."

"Yeah, you're right." I sighed then getting up from my seat. Paul was beside me in seconds.

"You sure you can still walk straight?"

I rolled my eyes.

:)