"You know you're the coolest. The world is yours."-Lana

EPOV

I fucking hated myself. Really, I did. I knew I was a selfish bastard. That was like my nature. I hurt her yet I wanted to keep her. She didn't deserve it, of course. Me. And this life.

It was partly her fault, though. I gave her a choice and she threw it away without a second thought. Choosing to stay. It was a stupid choice. My girl was so fucking naïve.

I should have warned her. She should think it through. Because liked it or not, now she was stuck with me.

I admitted that we, us, were far from perfect. I had already broken even before we started. While she had already given too much that it was unfair for her. But in the end, we fell. Hard. The feeling was strong. Pulling us to each other until nothing mattered. Too strong to the point I lost my sanity. And that was it. I fucking lost it.

Never thought I would share my dark past with someone. Because as far as anyone in my family—my organization—knew about that day, about the death of them, it had become a silent rule among us to not discuss it. That day was buried down to the ground just like their bodies.

No one was talking about them. No one dared to mention or breathe their names.

And here I was, telling her everything. For what, I didn't know. Maybe I wanted to let her in. Maybe I wanted her to see how broken I was. Maybe I just wanted to tell her the truth.

It was crazy and confusing as fuck. I wasn't aware the feeling that I had for her affected me this greatly. And all of a sudden, I was not ready. Then, of course, came the stupid move. I retreated and thought it over. I pushed her away. Again.

A sick part of me clapped me in the back and smiled proudly as though I did a good job. He saw her as a complication. A weakness. Because this feeling I never had for anyone in years was overpowering. He, that sick part of me, convinced me that I didn't fucking need her.

But the hell I didn't.

I needed her just like breathing.

Fuck.

And it always pained me to no end seeing those eyes turn sad every time I turned my back on her.

The noise outside my office in Black Moon pulled me out of my thoughts. My focus immediately returned to the present.

The door was opened after that. Revealing a figure with her signature golden blond and sharp blue eyes. Two men tailing behind her, throwing me an apology look. I waved them off, dismissing them. It wasn't their fault, I knew. Rosalie was a persistent bitch. They hurriedly exited my office, shutting the door behind them.

"It's getting old, Rose." I said with no interest. This attitude of hers was getting old. Someone needed to remind her where to stand.

"Listen to me, Edward—"

"You came to see her this morning." I stated matter-of-factly. Paul informed me earlier about her visit to my house. He said the two of them, she and Bella, exchanged a few words.

She glared at me. "She needs to know what's coming to her."

"And I need you to stay the fuck out of my business."

"Open your eyes, Edward. Don't you see her existence odd?" God knows she was trying, but I wasn't in my best mood today. "Did you do a background check on her?"

It was such a funny question. I really needed her to stop talking because if not, I would probably choke her to death.

"I want you out now, Rose." I said through my teeth.

She, being as stubborn as she was, couldn't have it, of course.

"There's something off with her. The dots are not connected."

"Out, Rose." It was her last warning.

She didn't listen, so I told my men to drag her out of here.

By midnight, my phone rang. I frowned at the caller id, but decided to answer anyway. It was Paul.

"Yeah?"

"Sorry, Boss. I don't mean to disturb you, but she insists." He sighed, frustrated. She meant Bella. I felt him, really. She could be so stubborn when she wanted to.

"Pass the phone to her." I said.

He did it immediately. I could hear the rustling sound in the background before her soft voice filled my ear.

"Edward?"

"Yeah, baby?" the words were sweet, but my tone was cold. I couldn't fucking help it. I almost felt her wince at that.

"When will you be home?" it was barely a whisper. She definitely regretted to call me and had this conversation.

"When I'm done with work." I grunted. Not giving her the best answer. But her next question surprised me.

"How much longer?" she asked boldly. I raised my eyebrow. That was unexpected. And she caught me off the guard. "Edward?"

"Sleep, Bella." I said when I recovered. "Don't wait for me."

I was home at four in the morning. The house was deserted. I went upstairs, hearing my own steps echo in the hall.

My room was already dark when I got there. I entered quietly and went straight to the bedroom. It was a habit to shower after I spent hours with that business shit. As soon as I was done, I wrapped a towel around my middle. Before grabbing my boxer from the drawer in the closet.

Walking over the bed, I couldn't help but watching her peaceful face as she slept. The duvet just draped around her waist, revealing a silk nightgown that she was wearing. I almost groaned at the sight.

I climbed to the bed and settled beside her. She stirred in her sleep.

And as if it wasn't enough, those eyes fluttered open after that. Squinting to adjust the darkness.

"Edward?" she mumbled sleepily.

I barely glanced at her.

She didn't hesitate when she scooted closer until our chests were glued to each other. And yes, I could feel her fucking nipples. God, the timing sucked.

"Bella." I said her name like a warning.

She put her arms around my neck, didn't seem to mind my protest. Rejecting her was hard enough for me. Didn't she see?

"No, I'm not going anywhere." She replied. Almost harshly.

I missed her too, but fuck.

I removed her hands from me and sat up straight. She looked like she wanted to cry, but my mind was too chaotic to process it all. It was easier to her remember me as an ass anyway.

"I'll sleep in the office."

BPOV

I cried myself to sleep. I cried until I was tired, surrounded by silence and dark. I hated him. I fucking hated him to the point I really wanted to hurt him.

Why was he doing this to me? Did he not want me here?

I woke up later around eleven. With puffy eyes and dried tears. I quickly changed into t-shirt and shorts before going to the bathroom to wash my face and brush my teeth. My reflection in the mirror was a mess. But I couldn't care less.

I intended to go to the kitchen. I was hungry as hell because yesterday I skipped breakfast and dinner. Edward really got into my mind and Rosalie just ruined the breakfast for me.

Speaking of the devil.

I didn't know if I was imagining things, but I heard her voice. From the door at the end of this corridor. It was Edward's office.

My feet moved. And before I knew it, I was by his door, eavesdropping. The voices were much clearer now.

"Think about it, Edward. How can you trust her so easily?"

It was her. It was definitely Rosalie.

I wouldn't lie my heart did break a little.

He was with her. He could be with her, but he couldn't fucking stand me?

"I'm not discussing this with you, Rose."

"She starts all of this mess."

He chuckled. "You don't know anything."

"Jesus, open your eyes. Why are you defending her?" she paused. "Wait, do you love her?"

There was a wishful thinking for a split second before he really answered that question. I already knew what it would be yet I still hoped, though.

His reply was immediate.

"No. What are you talking about?"

It was as if he wanted to laugh it off.

It hurt. It hurt so bad hearing it from his mouth.

I ran back to my room. Lying on my bed and just staring at the ceiling. Repeating the words he said in my mind.

God, I was so pathetic. I couldn't even cry right now. I was so, so numb.

My heart shattered, but I didn't bother to collect the pieces anymore.

It was useless. I was hurt, still. And probably would be hurt more. Tiring. So tiring.

It was stupid to think that I wasn't alone. It was just stupid.

I definitely was. Alone.

I heard the door being opened. Even without looking at it, I knew it wasn't Edward.

"Until when you're gonna lock yourself in here, B?"

It was Jamie.

"Why are you here?" I asked, straight to the point.

He sat on the edge of the bed.

"I left my own party for you." He said as if I needed to know it.

"And?" I raised my eyebrow, finally looking at him. Those blues were so bright in the dark.

"The least you can do is dress up and join me. And for fucks sake, wipe those fucking tears."

I scoffed.

"I'm not crying."

I wasn't.

"Whatever. Come on."

Jamie's house was packed. Girls and girls and girls. They were clinging to his side by the time he strode in to the room. I had to roll my eyes at the scene. They looked at him like he was God or something. It was ridiculous.

Hailey was in the kitchen, sitting on the floor in the corner, already high as hell. Still, I approached her anyway. Her smile was wide, but empty. She passed me the drink she was holding.

"What's in it?" I inquired.

She massaged her temple. "Can't handle questions right now. Give it back to me if you don't want it."

I drank it then. And Hailey snickered right away.

She looked like she was in her own world.

I probably followed her soon, though.

Jamie appeared in front of us ten minutes later with a cig in hand. His sister was now lying on the floor, staring up at the ceiling with such interest. But of course, he barely glanced at her.

"Do you need something stronger?" he asked as though he could read the problem by looking at my face.

"I'm good."

"Suit yourself." He shrugged

"Is Paul here?" Hailey chimed in.

"No." Jamie replied before sat beside me.

"No? Why?"

"Because I don't want him in my house. And he doesn't want to meet you." He rolled his eyes. Hailey sat up straight now.

"You're an ass." She snapped. "The world knows the reason he's avoiding me is because you loser fuckers threaten him."

He took a long drag from his cigarette and ignored her completely.

Hailey was out of the room not long after that.

It was a rare scene, to be honest. I had never seen them fight before. Plus I never thought the Paul thing was serious until she burst about it. If she was frustrated, she covered it well.

"Will she be okay?" I asked, concerned that she would do something she would regret.

"She knows her limit." He assured me. Like it wasn't the first time it happened.

"She really like him, doesn't she?"

He shrugged as though it didn't matter.

"She can't be with him."

"Why? Because you and Edward don't approve it?"

"It's none of your business, B." He said simply.

"You're so selfish."

"Who? Me or Edward?"

I didn't reply to the question. Instead I told him. "Rosalie was in the house today. And the day before."

"So, that's why you're being gloomy."

"She doesn't want me near him."

"I bet." He smirked. "And before you ask, I let you know that she is our childhood friend. Not more. She has been always protective like that for ages."

"She hates me with passion."

"She's suspicious of your motives."

"What? I don't do anything."

"Don't mind her then."

"I can't not mind her, Jamie. She's—"

"Persistent and beautiful?" he raised his eyebrow. "Making you insecure?"

"I would say annoying."

He laughed out loud.

None of us was talking for a full minute.

But the alcohol made me so open. Or maybe it was the person that made me so comfortable.

"He said he doesn't love me."

"Love is not easy for someone like him, Bella."

I wrapped my arms around myself.

"I know. But the gap between us is getting wider, J." I sighed. "I feel so alone."

He stubbed out his cigarette and turned to me, holding the side of my face. "You're not alone. I'm here, okay?"

"It hurts so much."

"Hey. Don't cry." His thumbs wiped the tears away. God, I didn't even know I was crying.

"Make the pain go away." I whispered. Almost desperately.

That was when he kissed me.