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I opened my eyes slowly to the sound of my alarm. I reached to the left of me only to hit a wall. It took me a moment to realize I wasn't in my bed. I blinked a few times, trying to gather my surroundings. I notice that I am in an on-call room, and it's not an alarm going off, it's my phone ringing. I sleepily grab it and say hello.

"Meredith?" I hear the familiar accent on the other line.

"Nathan?"

"Um, you said we were going to meet up in cafeteria at one thirty for lunch. It's two o'clock now, did you bail on me?" I forgot that I said we should have lunch and talk. We were going to have lunch the other day when I hurt my wrist but something came up with Megan, and Zola got the flu. That was about five days ago, and I had texted him last night wondering if he still wanted to grab lunch.

"Oh crap. I overslept. I'll be there in five." I get off the bed and grab my lab coat and quickly shrugged it on.
"Alright. See you soon." He said before hanging up.

I walked to the bathroom first, as I had to pee and wanted to straighten up my hair a little before I headed down to the cafeteria. I looked in the mirror, and saw a very tired looking woman staring back at me. I splashed some chilly water on my face, waking me up. I pulled my hair back into a ponytail, seeing as I have bed head. I took a deep breath in and out. I could do this.

I jumped when a dark-haired woman came flying into the bathroom and into one of the stalls. After a moment, I heard a faint "I'm alright" before Amelia emerged from the stall.

"Morning sickness still?"

"Yeah, and it sucks." She replied and she rinsed her face and hands. "I feel like Owen is gonna guess it before I find a way of telling him." I just looked at her, assuming she already told him. "Things still have been tough because of Megan. I'm waiting for the right time." She said before leaving the bathroom. I followed her, both heading to the elevators.

"What floor?" She asked once we got on.

"Cafeteria."

"You meeting up with someone or are you eating alone? 'Cause I'm done for some food." She smirked at me.

I laughed a little. "Of course you are hungry, you are probably hungry all the time. But yes, I am meeting with someone."

"Basically and who? Riggs?" She questioned. I just nodded my head, not really wanting to get into the details of what was going on between us. "Well, I'll leave you guys to it." Amelia said as I got off and headed toward the cafeteria.

I spotted Nathan almost immediately, but decided to grab my food first. I quickly just grab a salad and drink and join Nathan at the table. I give him a soft smile once I sit down, knowing that this was going to be awkward.

"So uh, how have you been?" She asked before pulling out his sandwich.

I honestly did know how to answer that. So many things were going on right now. I just took a bite of my salad and said, "Fine."

He raised an eyebrow. "You are fine? What is that your favorite word?"

I laughed a little, which made him smile. "I guess so, I always seem to say it."

We sat and ate in silence for a few minutes before I caught a whiff of his sandwich. It smells disgusting, and is making me a little nauseous. "What kind of sandwich you got there?"

"A tuna sandwich. What do you want some?" He asked jokingly.

"Uh, no. It smells really disgusting." I giggled, once again causing him to smile. "But anyways, how are you?"

He took another bite before answering. "Alright. Some days are better than others. I just wish she could get better, it sucks seeing her like this. I miss the upbeat, always laughing and joking, playing pranks and friendly Megan. It just hard, it's like she is a whole different person."

"I'm sorry, I really do hope she gets better." I say while putting my hand on his, before awkwardly pulling it way and putting it in my lap. I bit my lip, and met my eyes with his. I could sometimes read him. Right now, you could see sadness in those icy blue eyes. That was about it.

"Yeah me too. We still haven't discussed our relationship, and I'm not sure how to do it. I feel like if I bring it up she will begin hating me again."

"She won't hate you. You are harder to hate than you think. Remember I tried it once, and it didn't last." I smiled.

He smiled a little, and then went back to the upset face. "Meredith." He waited till I looked at him before saying anything. "I'm sorry you are in this situation. I will always care about you, know matter what."

"I know." Was all I could reply. I was still a little hurt over the situation, but I know there is nothing I could do about it.

"We can still be friends, right?" I sighed, and nodded my head.

"Of course." I replied before we returned to eating in silence.

After a while, I decided to talk again. "So, uh, had you and Megan ever talk about kids?"

"Yeah, a little bit but-" He was cut of by my pager going off, from Alex.

"I gotta go, sorry." He nodded his head, knowing the life of a surgeon. I threw away my trash and headed to the peds floor. A few minutes later, I found Alex at the nurse's station.

Out of breath, I said, "You paged 911?"

He turned around and started laughing at me. "I didn't page 911, and you are so out of breath that it's funny. Anyways, I wanted to know if you would scrub in on a kidney transplant with me, seeing as we never do surgeries together anymore."

"Oh. Of course. Where's the chart so I can get familiar?" He handed me a tablet with the chart pulled up.

"The surgery is at 3, so you don't have long, but you should be fine." He said before walking off. I put the tablet down and sighed, not really in the mood for reading through a chart.

I just walked down the hall for a minute, before seeing Nathan. Something came over me, I'm not quite sure what it was. I bit my lip and pulled him into the on-call room. As soon as the door shut, I put my lips on his, and pushed him up against the door. He was hesitant at first, but eventually started to kiss me back. I wasn't sure what I was doing, although at this moment, I knew I wanted him. It wasn't long before our tongues were fighting for dominance, and my hands were exploring, just as his were. My hands found the bottom of is his shirt and started to pull on it before he pushed me away.

"Meredith, we can't be doing this. I said friends, not friends with benefits." He said sternly. I pursed my lips, unsure why I just did what I did.

"I-I..." I trailed off, having no explanation as to why I wanted him in that moment. He raised an eyebrow, but I still didn't know what to say. "I-I gotta go. I have a surgery." I said as I pushed past him and rushed out the door toward the scrub rooms. I put my fingers to my lips, remembering what just happened. I got to the scrub room and started to scrub in, not long before Alex joined me.

"You okay Mer? you look like you have seen a ghost." He stated as he put his mask on.

"I, uh, I'm not sure what just happened." I stuttered.

"What do you mean you are 'not sure what just happened'?" He asked, as a concerned look came over his face.

"I just jumped Nathan in an on call room, and I don't know why." I whispered, somewhat embarrassed.

"You had sex with him? I thought y'all were broken up?" He questioned.

"Um, we are broken up. It was just a kiss, he didn't let it go any farther, even though I wanted too. I don't know what came over me, I probably looked pathetic and desperate. Ugh."

"You probably just miss him, it's okay. Now it's time to save this little boy's life, so go get that kidney and I'll get started on the boy." Alex said before walking out of the scrub room to a different scrub room.

I just let out a sigh before walking through the threshold of the OR. The nurse's move to help me into gown and gloves, and then I'm standing by the table. "Scalpel."

Alex came in the OR to check on progress right as the brother started to flatline. Everyone was shuffling around, getting set to shock him and bring him back. I was doing compressions, and Alex was dealing with the defibrillator. He started toward the patient with the paddles so I moved my hands. "Clear!" He yelled, and a thump was soon followed as the electricity followed through this kids body. The was still no rhythm. I began compressions again, and Alex yelled "Charge to 200! Clear!" I once again moved quickly, and heard a thump then a consistent heartbeat on the monitor a few seconds later. I was out of breath, and not feeling well. Alex could see it in my face.

"Somebody grab my mask!" I said, and within seconds a nurse was pulling the mask of my face. She didn't move in time, I puked right on her shoes. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." I immediately felt really bad, but she didn't say anything. She just grabbed a towel and helped wipe my face. "Alex, I think you are going to need to take over." I stated before she helped me out of the OR and into a chair in the scrub room.

"Are you alright honey?" She quickly asked while helping take of my gown and gloves that had some puke on it. I just nodded my head. "Let me get you some water, you stay right here." She walked out of the scrub room, leaving me to sit there alone.

I sat there for a minute before Nathan bursts through the door, scaring the crap out of me. "Meredith, I heard what happened. Are you okay?"

I bit my lip, thinking about how we had last seen each other and how awkward it was. "Yeah, Zola has got the flu, she probably gave it to me." I just look to floor, not really wanting to talk to him right now. He put his hand on my forehead, and grabbed my wrist to get my pulse.

"You don't seem to have a fever but your pulse is a little high, so you need to rest." He smiled, and I remembered how bossy I was when he was hurt, but I still am though.

I mouthed thank you and just looked back down at the floor. A couple seconds later, Alex came through the door with a worried expression. "You alright Mer?"

"I'm fine. You have a patient to take care of."

"I got Bailey to take over for me. I'm going to take you home so you can get some rest, okay?" He said in more of a way that he was going to do rather than asking. I looked to Nathan, who was awkwardly standing there.

"I'm fine. You can go back to Megan now." I say as I get up and walk past him toward the door. It wasn't long before me and Alex both were in our street clothes and heading to the parking lot.

"Give me your keys." He demanded.

"No."

"I'm driving, I don't want you to get sick again and then kill us." He stated.

"Fine, but you are going to have to get me a strawberry, banana and mango smoothie. Don't forget the mango." I was craving some mango, so why not get a smoothie? He raised an eyebrow, but grabbed my keys from me anyways.

It wasn't long before we were both back at the house and sitting on the couch in silence. "I want some pizza, do you want some pizza?" I ask, seeing as I was starving.

"Sure, I'll order it." He said before picking up his phone to call the nearest pizza place. He got us a large pizza and some bread sticks. We sat there and waited for the pizza to come, and when the doorbell rang Alex jumped up and ran to the door. "Mer, it's for you!" He yelled. I groaned and got up and headed toward the door, and to my surprise it was Nathan.

"Um hi." I said before stepping outside to talk privately.

"I wanted to talk about earlier."

"Oh." Was all I could reply, not knowing what came over me.

"Are you okay with us just being friends?" He asked.

"Yes, of course. I wouldn't have it any other way." I said optimistically.

"I was just wondering then why you jumped me." He said, rocking back and forth on his toes.

"I don't know honestly. I think I just miss you." I bit my lip and looked to my shoes, scared of where this conversation was going.

"Meredith, it's okay." He reached out and put his hand on my arm. "I miss you too. But now isn't the time."

"I know." I shivered at feeling of his skin touching mine. I saw another car pool up, and I knew this time it was the pizza guy. "Alright, my pizza is here. I gotta go."

"Bye Mer." He let go of my arm.

I leaned in and kissed his check before he turned around. It was very stubbly but I didn't care. "Bye Nathan." He turned and left, and I soon got my pizza and brought into the kitchen.

Alex and I are in silence, but he watched me very closely. I ate 3 and half pieces of pizza and two bread sticks. I left Alex in the kitchen and headed up to the bathroom to wash my face and pee.

When I came out of the bathroom, Alex was sitting on the edge of my bed, giving me that 'we need to talk look.' I sat next to him and sighed, not sure what he was going to say.

"Mer..." He trailed off.

"What?"

"Mer are you..." He trailed off again, obviously not really wanting to ask that question.

"Alex." Was all I could say back. I knew what he was asking, and I was pretty sure I knew the answer. I knew he would pick up on it eventually, but had it been that obvious?

"Alex, I know my body."

"So you are?" I just nodded my head.

"I haven't taken an official test, but I already know the answer." I let out a sob. I got up and walked into the bathroom, and cam back carrying a stick. I knew, but I couldn't look at it. I just couldn't. I handed it to Alex and he just looked up at me. "I am, aren't I?"

He let out a little laugh, and I just looked at him funny. "It hasn't came up yet Mer."

"Oh." I let out a little laugh and sat on the bed next to him. We sat there for another minute before I saw Alex's face change. I looked over and saw two lines. Well, it wasn't official until now. I fell back on the bed, and just laid there. After a minute I got up and started pacing back and forth.

"Mer, are you okay?" Alex quickly sat up and asked.

"How? How did this happen? I though we were careful!" I said, just as the tears started falling.

"Mer, you are going to be okay. There are options you know." I just looked at him. I couldn't do that. "Do you have any idea how far along you are?"

That's when it hit me. "8 weeks."

"Are you sure? That was awhile ago."

"The only times we were careful was the first time and the plane. The plane was 8 weeks ago." I said as another tear fell down my cheek.

"Oh. Well do you even know if he wants kids?" He asked.

"I don't know, by I'm going to find out before I make any decisions." I sat back down on the bed next to Alex.

"You have to tell him." Alex said, stating the obvious.

"I'll find out tomorrow if he even wants kids. Then I will decide whether I want to tell him or not."

Well, that was one hell of a chapter. I really enjoyed writing it. Shout out to Kiwiflea for guessing it! I had been dropping very subtle hints over the last few chapters. Anyways, the drama has just begun, seeing as Teddy will be back next chapter. Also, do you guys think Mer will tell Nathan?